Copyright Oggbashan February 2005
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
It started at Amanda's disastrous reunion on New Year's Eve. She had invited all our year at University to a local club. I accepted immediately. Amanda had been my dream partner when I was a student. She had barely noticed me. I knew that Diana was going as well. All three of us were buying apartments in the same block so we were aware of each other's comings and goings. As soon as Diana and I had accepted Amanda co-opted us into helping with the organisation.
We had been at university together. Amanda had been the pack mother, the one who made sure that her friends ate properly, that their buttons were sewn on, that they went back home with at least some clean clothes. She was always impeccably dressed in a skirt or dress. Amanda was never seen without her make-up, nor with dishevelled hair, yet she seemed to achieve the result with absolutely no effort. Most of us were slouching around in shapeless casual clothes. Me? I was the studious nerd who lent out his lecture notes, helped with essays and fixed ailing computers.
Diana had been rarely in the same group with Amanda and I. Diana was the active sportswoman, a talented individual athlete, never a team player. We were friends because sometimes she needed me for my computer skills. I was glad to be associated, even if rarely, with such a prominent personality. When I walked across the campus with Diana I knew that some would be jealous of me. She was not classically beautiful. Her bone structure and muscles were too pronounced. It was how she walked that attracted attention. She prowled as if she was a hunting tigress. Her straight glossy black hair swung as she strode about and lashed as she ran and jumped. I could watch Diana for hours. To me she was an unattainable icon. I was one of many students, male and female, who were fascinated by Diana.
The three of us worked hard under Amanda's direction. We arranged table plans, reassured those who were concerned about the reputation of the club that we had a separate area for our reunion, helped organise baby-sitters from friends and relations – the list seemed endless. All that effort for an event we would want to forget.
I enjoyed their company in Amanda's flat while we worked. We chased up leads to find old students. We sent out invitations and tried again if the addressee had moved. I used my computer skills to trace some of the more elusive ones. I found myself attracted to both women in different ways. Amanda had become less fussy, less precise about assessing people by their clothes. Diana wasn't the fanatical athlete she had been. Those traits were still present with the sharp edges abraded by ten years of living and working.
The event itself was a frost, a disaster. Some reverted to their student personalities. Others insisted on standing aloof, on their dignity as solid citizens. The trouble was that we weren't the same people we had been at University. Ten years on most of us were married with children and even those that weren't were respectable pillars of society. The event was stiff and stilted from the start. Those who had some distance to travel precipitated the early finish. Their departure was the signal for a general exodus. By then the three of us knew we had failed.
We had paired up with some of the other unmarried guests. Amanda's partner for the evening was sprawled across a bench snoring drunkenly. Diana's escort was in the men's room as he had been on and off all evening. The woman who had attached herself to me was reported to be crouched over a toilet seat voiding her stomach.
We had been drinking more than we should and perhaps all three of us were disappointed at the outcome of the reunion but we started talking about why we three were still single. Diana started the conversation.
"I don't know what that man does in the toilet for so long," she complained. "It can't be the quantity he's drunk. He's been on shorts and not that many of them. I suppose he's snorting a line. Just my luck. I seem to attract the losers. I wish..."
"What do you wish, Diana?" Amanda asked.
"I wish I could find a man who is actively interested in sports, free of unpleasant habits and reasonably attentive to me. I didn't think that was much to ask for. Ten years on I'd settle for the last two attributes."
Diana looked at me meaningfully. I didn't take the hint. Diana scares me. She is so intense about everything she does. I was sure I wasn't fit enough to be a potential date. I am reasonably fit. Diana has higher standards than a mere 'reasonable'. Amanda saved me from an embarrassing silence.
"All I wanted was someone presentable who could look after himself without needing me to do all the 'womanly' things. When we were students that meant that most of the men were ineligible. They all looked scruffy. Those few that looked neatly dressed tonight were some of the married ones. Their wives ensure their shirts are ironed and their appearance is maintained. Andy here is the only unmarried one who looks as if he cared about his image. He used to be as messy as everyone else. Perhaps there is a woman behind the change?"
Amanda's look told me that she wanted an answer.
"No women involved. It's because I have to represent my company," I said. "The backroom boys can be as untidy as they like. The boss has to look smart to impress potential clients and the bankers. Apart from that I haven't had time to look for a potential partner. The last few years I have been working all the hours I can to get the company established. This year I will be taking my first holiday since I graduated. The time I have spent with you two organising tonight has been a break. I've enjoyed it as a change."
We continued talking and raised our plans for the immediate future while waiting for the missing ones to return. Amanda would be visiting her folks who had moved to Spain. She would return in early February. Diana would be busy until mid-January when she planned to practise some rock-climbing for a holiday at Easter. Rather her than me. I had been rock-climbing once with Diana. She was amazingly competent making my efforts look clumsy and amateurish. I could climb if that was the only way to get to where I wanted. Diana climbed because that was what she wanted to do. She chose the hardest and most challenging route if there were alternatives.
I had to travel to see a potential client and then I might have some free time. My parents had bought themselves a new tent for Christmas. Their old tent was now mine. I think it was a hint that I needed to relax. I hoped to use the tent later in the year. Although I had erected it with help I was convinced it could be done single-handed. If it could I would use it for travelling Europe in early Summer. Diana was interested. Amanda wasn't. She isn't the camping type. She prefers her creature comforts. Diana and I were trying to explain that a modern campsite provided comforts and there was no need to rough it. Diana's preference for 'roughing it' came through. Amanda agreed to take our word that camping could be comfortable.
When Diana had volunteered to check that my evening's partner got a taxi I had summoned up the courage to ask Amanda to the Valentine Dinner Dance. She accepted. That turned that disastrous evening into a success. I was living in the daze of expectation that starts what you hope will be a meaningful relationship. I wasn't counting my chickens yet I hoped that this would be the start of something great.
We poured Amanda's escort into another taxi. I couldn't find Diana's toilet-loving partner. We assumed he had gone. We had to wait a long time for a taxi to take the three of us. During the short ride Diana and Amanda took turns to kiss me. That was a surprise, a very enjoyable surprise, that kept me awake wondering what I had done to deserve the kissing. Perhaps just staying awake and reasonably sober had been enough? I was afraid that they meant more and that both of them were competing for me. I knew I was not capable of starting a relationship with Diana. Even ten years ago she had been frightening. Now she seemed more available yet still the same hungry tigress.
We parted as friends. I was kissed simultaneously on both cheeks as we went to our separate flats. I crawled into bed. Diana and Amanda haunted my dreams. They are very attractive women. Why did I spend the whole night fleeing from them?
Amanda and I were in touch by email while she was away. They were innocuous enough with a hint that there might be an underlying message. Both of us knew that our mails couldn't be completely secure. Even the couple of phone calls between us had been bland. I thought that we were both expecting something more for Valentine's Day.
I passed Diana in the street a few times. We stopped to exchange a few words. I thought that she wanted more. I didn't give her the opportunity.
Then the weekend was cold but bright for mid-January. I took advantage of the unexpectedly good weather to try out the frame tent. I wanted to see if I could erect it unaided and what utensils I would need. More important would be to find out what I didn't need.
I saw Diana arrive with two friends. As her friends pulled equipment out of a four-wheel drive she came over to me. I had just finished setting up the tent.
"I see that you can do it alone," she said.
"Yes," I replied. "It would be quicker and easier with another pair of hands. There are usually people willing to help at most campsites. I can do it by myself if I have to. What are you doing here?"
"We're climbing on the rock face. We're keeping in trim for some climbing in Snowdonia. The weather is so good today that we thought we'd take advantage of it."
"Rather you than me," I replied.
Diana's friends waved at her. She wandered off to join them.
I unfolded the kitchen, connected the gas bottle and made some coffee. I shared it with the only other people mad enough to camp in January. After I had washed up I decided to see how Diana and her friends were doing. It was a short walk through a wood to the rock face. I thought I would watch them for a few minutes before walking the mile or two to the pub.
As I cleared the wood an ambulance was loading two people. Diana was standing by the ambulance, her face white and a tear running down her cheek. I had never seen her cry before. She needed me or someone. I couldn't refuse to help even though she never said a word. The unexpected tears in her eyes were an appeal I couldn't resist. I didn't think that I might jeopardise my prospects with Amanda. A friend needed me. That was enough. I walked straight up to her and opened my arms. She buried her face against my neck. I hugged her gently. Even so I felt her flinch.
Gratitude is no basis for a loving relationship. If I hadn't come across Diana when she needed help we would never have been together. We are too different. She is as hard as nails. She says that I am as soft as... whatever noun she thinks is appropriate at the time.
