Jace Goodwin was on his knees at the side of the bed praying to God. Praying that God would forgive him for the mortal sin that he was soon to commit. One that would more than likely earn him a place in Hell.
Jace was a man who had reached the end of his rope. His life was in the shitter. No job, not even a prospect, no money and worst of all a life without his wife . Of course his wife had been gone in all but name for a long while. But soon even that would be gone. He had listened, earlier today, to the message on the answering machine from his wife's attorneys office telling her that the divorce papers were ready to be served after the 1st.
It wasn't even like this was a surprise. He had seen it coming for awhile. She had become more and more distant over the last six months. She quit making excuses for her late hours and weekends away from home. She just came and went as she pleased with no explanations. He had been sure that there was another man in the picture.
Last night had removed all doubt. She brought him home. Jace saw them on the sofa making out like two teenagers. He heard them climb the stairs to the master bedroom that he had once shared with his wife, but not in over a year.
By rights he should have taken his .38 caliber pistol and kill both of them. But he knew that a lot of their problems were caused by him. His inability to get a job, his lack of education and mostly by his inaptitude in bed. Yeah, a lot of it was his fault, and he didn't need another mortal sin to add to the one he was soon to commit. The only way out. Suicide.
Jace had given it a lot of thought. It would end all of his earthly problems. The pain. The embarrassment. The shame. It would also save his wife the expense of a divorce. It was time for it to end. He had decided that he would ring in the new year and the end of his life at the same time.
Yeah, Happy New Year.
Across town his wife was at her mothers house. She had come to see her grandmother who was visiting for the holidays. Her Granny was her favorite person in the world. Granny had been her biggest supporter all her life.
But lately she had noticed a cooling of her attitude toward her. She had a good idea what it was about. Jace, her soon to be ex husband.
Granny had always thought the sun rose and set in Jace. She didn't understand what a liability he had become to the advancement of her career. Now Steve her now ex admirer was a different story. Tall, handsome, well educated, well dressed and gainfully employed. All the things Jace wasn't.
A small voice in the back of her mind said, "Yeah, but will he support your hopes and dreams and stand beside you during the bad times like Jace did."
She also had a guilty conscience about last night. She never meant for Steve to kiss her, not even considering making love to him in her bed. She had been slightly drunk, celebrating her latest victory in court. Steve had come in to pick up a case file and managed to talk her into a drink and things had gone from there. As soon as she got her mind back she had kicked him out of the bed, her room and the house and told him never to come back.
She hoped that Jace hadn't seen or heard anything. She had not had sex in any way with anyone but him, even though she knew Jace thought she had. She couldn't bring herself to violate her wedding vows in that way.
Her grandmothers first question was, "Where's Jace?" she asked
"At home I guess. We don't go out together anymore." She said
"He's your husband. You should be together." Stated Granny
She sighed. She hoped to get through the Holidays without telling her family about the divorce. Oh well."
"Not much longer. He'll get served the divorce papers after the first. He'll have to find someone else to live off of. I'm through with him. He's useless. No help with my career at all. More of a liability." She said in a haughty tone of voice.
Her granny suprised her. She rose from her chair and slapped her granddaughter across the mouth. "You little bitch! How dare you talk about Jace that way! If it wasn't for him you wouldn't have a career!"
"I worked for everything I have." She answered in a stunned tone
"That's crap and you know it. How about when Jace worked two jobs to get you through law school so you didn't have to work. To give you more time to study. How about the extra odd jobs he took to buy you the things you wanted. Went days without sleep so his wife wouldn't do without." Granny said
"But***." She tried to get out an excuse. But her mother cut her off.
"I never thought the day would come when I would be ashamed of my daughter. But I am now. All the days he supported you and your dreams, while leaving his behind. And now you treat him like this." Mother said shaking her head.
'What dreams?" she snickered. "He doesn't have any. That's the problem. No ambition at all."
"You really are a self centered little Bitch. He had a full scholarship to Georgia Tech to study engineering. But he gave it up to help you reach your dreams. He never told you because he didn't want you to feel guilty. Little chance of that. Your so full of yourself that no one else matters. He worked that awful demeaning job for you." Granny shook her head
Her mother said, "All things considered, I guess the rumors are true then. I've heard that you've been seeing other men. Talk is all over town. Several folks have seen you including Jace's sister. When she told him he went ballistic and now they aren't speaking."
Granny slowly got of her chair and headed for the bedroom. She turned and looked at the granddaughter that had once been her pride and joy. "Don't ever speak to me again. Just pretend I'm dead. I have no time for a heartless shrew like you. Some one as shallow, self centered and unfeeling can't be any relation to me." She turned and walked away.
She looked at her mother in shock. Tears came to her eyes. "I'm so sorry Mom. I guess I let my career go to my head. Making partner became the most important thing to me. I haven't had sex with anyone but Jace in my life. I swear. I've gone out some but most of it was business related." She started to cry.
Her mom taking pity on her, pulled her into her arms, hugging her tight. "Honey, I know the truth hurts but you have gotten to big for your britches. And worst of all is how you have been treating Jace. I don't know if he told you, but his mother suffered from severe depression. She committed suicide after she found out his father was having an affair. On New Years Eve. Right at midnight. I think part of Jace's problems may be medical not motivational."
A look of horror crossed her face. She realized all the signs were there and she had ignored them. And last night she was sure she had seen Jace at the top of the stairs. Another thought struck her, the attorneys office had reached her on her cell about the papers. The paralegal said she had left a message on her home answering machine also. That means that Jace might have heard it. Oh God. What had she done?
She looked at her watch. It was 10:30. She had enough time to make it by twelve if she hurried.
"Mom I've got to get home. Jace may be trying to follow his mothers example. Tell Granny I'm sorry. I'm going to try to make it up to Jace if he'll let me." She kissed her mom and hit the door running.
Looking at the sky, she prayed, "God please let me get there in time."
Jace looked at the clock. 11:30. 30 more minutes to go. He closed his eyes. "I'll see you soon Mama. I understand now."
He had always held his mother's suicide against her. Blaming her for leaving him alone with an absent father more interested in his new wife and later on his new children. He had little time for his oldest child, a remainder of his first marriage and the subconscious guilt over his sons mother's suicide. But now Jace understood his mother's feelings as he watched his dreams slip away. The one he love the most in the world go on without him.
Jace remembered the happy times with his wife. The joy of new love. The pride in the fact that a sexy beautiful woman choose him to marry. The nights and days of wild sex. The joys of being together. The pride of seeing her graduate with honors from law school.
But that was the beginning of the end, soon the hours of work. The billable hours she was expected to produce. The nights he spent alone. The weekends alone. The business meetings she had to attend. The growing chasm between them.
Then he lost his job. It wasn't much of a job, but it did bring in some money. Then the blood pressure problems, the headaches, the peputial fatigue then the feeling of despair. Then the last straw, the loss of sexual function.
Soon they were sleeping in separate bedrooms, living separate lives. He was unable to stop the decline of their relationship. His wife didn't seem to care.
Jace checked the clock again, 11:50. Ten more minutes to the New Year. Ten more minutes and his pain would be over. He picked up the pistol from the bed and headed to the bathroom to get ready.
He wrapped a towel around his head as he sat in the shower stall. He figured this would be the easiest place to clean. He placed the fluffy pillow behind his head. Damn he forgot to turn on the television so he could do it as the ball dropped in Times Square.
Groaning he got up and walked to the living room, carrying the gun in his hand, to cut the television up and the surround sound on. As he started back to the shower, he heard the lock click on the back door.
Who in the hell was that, He sure didn't need a visitor now. To his suprise it was his wife Libby.
It was hard to tell who was the most suprised. They stared at each other for a minute, both speechless.
Libby looked at her husband of ten years. He was dressed in old running shorts with a wet seat, unshaven and a towel wrapped around his head and his pistol in his hand. My God. She had been right.
"Jace", she said as she walked toward him, "Give me the gun, Baby. Please."
