“Why do the good girls always want the bad boys?”
(No Doubt’s song BATHWATER by G. Stefani, T. Kanal, T. Dumont)
Gracie watched him from across the table. Her was so sweet and so attentive and he loved her, she knew. True, he did lack something in his performance in bed and was not overly demonstrative – but wasn’t that a good thing? Matthew would be a good father, husband, provider and wasn’t that what all women wanted, needed, desired?
Desired? Desired. Her eyes wandered across the table to the other one. Her hazel green eyes took in his five o clock shadow, his dark brooding eyes, his too damn sensuous lips – ohhhhhhhh! – she wanted to scream. The frustration and irritation welded up inside her but she said nothing – stuck her fork into the fluffy eggs and swallowed them whole. Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea. Maybe marriage to Matthew was a big fantasy and sleeping with Michael was definitely a big mistake.
She watched Jane and William converse quietly at the end of the table and her heart sunk. She watched Jane touch William’s shoulder lovingly and with sweetness and she sighed. That’s all she wanted. Love, affection, companionship – was that so wrong?
“Darling.” Jane spoke to Gracie from across the table. “Let’s go into town today to look at the floral arrangements. Do you mind if I steal her, Matthew?”
Matthew smiled and doted his lips. “Of course not. I have work to do today.” He stood up and walked to Gracie’s chair, kissing her mouth and then leaving.
Michael watched the whole scene, fearing his breakfast would come up before it had time to settle. He was losing control of everything. He was obsessed with her, he knew it now. It irked him to know his brother held her and fucked her yet he could never have enough of her.
He could take her in every position and it was never enough – would never be enough. He wanted more. He wanted everything. He threw his napkin down and left the table without a word to anyone.
“What is the matter with him?” Jane asked to no one in particular.
Jane and Gracie sat looking at book after book of floral arrangements in Madame Antoinette’s boutique in Bel Air. Gracie had not settled upon her color scheme yet but she liked cream and lilac. She found it hard to concentrate because she kept remembering the night before. Michael had been so passionate -so in control when he had taken her in the pool. Later on they had moved to one of the cabanas and made love again before finally falling asleep in each other’s arms.
Gracie had woken in his arms and had felt horribly guilty and wonderfully sated. She grimaced at a particularly horrid arrangement with birds of paradise – she hated that flower. What was she to do? They met Jenny and Sarah for a late lunch and they all discussed the upcoming wedding except for Gracie. She remained silent and pleaded a headache.
As she lay upon her bed nursing her headache she surmised what she must do. She needed to leave the mansion. She would not marry and she would leave Michael alone. Nothing had been the same since that day in the hardware store – but it made her see how much she did not belong here. Matthew would find some sweet, docile woman who would never mind that he had the sexual drive of a gnat – while Michael would continue to put notches on his bed post until he either settled down or died from AIDS – either way – Gracie was leaving.
Gracie began packing that night. She didn’t want to leave but knew she had no choice. She didn’t want to cause his family any more pain than necessary and the thought that she would break Jane’s heart was secondary to the pain she would cause if they found out about her and Michael. This was madness anyways. Why was she doing this to herself? Love and family aside, she knew she was incompatible with Matthew. She knew their sexual drive would not be enough in the future and it was wrong to live a lie. But Michael? What if anything did she have with Michael? Too much sex drive and nothing else. Talk about two brothers who had a little of something alone – and together would be great.
She packed all her clothes and left the few gifts that Jane had given her and Matthew’s engagement ring. It sparkled in the dark as she laid it gently upon the dresser. This was the right thing to do.
She would continue to work on her bachelor’s degree and decide what she wanted to do with her life. She would make her life something but it would not be revolving around men and the web she had entangled herself in.
She dreaded facing him but she knew she had to say goodbye to Michael and in the morning she would face Matthew. She wanted to get Michael over with and decided upon that very moment.
It wasn’t that dark as she walked across the main upper hallway. She guessed it to be around 745pm. She knocked quietly on his door hoping he wouldn’t be inside.
“Come in.”
Gracie’s heart thudded and she let herself in and closed the door behind her. He sat upon his bed wearing jeans and a thin gray shirt. The shirt outlined his muscular chest and the jeans hugged his body.
“Michael – “ She began but didn’t know what to say to him. She felt juvenile, silly and aroused. He was too good looking and it irritated her.
“Gracie, come and sit down. You obviously have something to say or you wouldn’t have risked coming here in the evening.”
“Yes, Michael. That’s true.” She hesitated and then walked to him.
“Well?” He asked as she seated herself next to him.
“I um –“ He didn’t make it easy for her. Whatever she wanted she was going to have to do it the hard way.
He waited.
“I am leaving tomorrow morning. I’ve already packed up my things and I’m going to call it off tomorrow with Matthew.”
