Going Home Again

John's tale

Ever since that fateful day things had just never been as good. I was living the life! I was 24 and ½ of the most perfect common law couple you can imagine. My "wife" was my high school sweetheart. I had just finished university and, thanks to a deal with my parents that they would pay for school, had no debt at all.

Actually I had 2 complete skill sets. My dad was a barber, so I learned the craft of haircutting from him as a teen. I got my certificate as a hairstylist a year after graduating at the age of 18 (I was a September baby, so I graduated at 17). Once that was done I got my teaching degree. I worked as a hairdresser in my dad's barbershop while I hunted down a teaching job.

Mariah, my other half, had one more year of school left and I was happily supporting her. She majored in finance and nobody doubted that she would be a major player in the business world one day. She had the whole package: confidence, intelligence, drive and looks. She could walk into any situation and immediately assess it, take control of it and look damn good in the process.

Did I mention that she was gorgeous? A 5'9" longhaired brunette whose slender frame belied her strength of will and character. She had curves where she was supposed to without them being overly exaggerated and kept herself fit and toned. She would turn heads in any place she walked into.

I had the world in the palm of my hand. Atlas had nothing on me. He had to use his shoulders!

Then one day I came home early from my dad's barber shop to work on some applications for a teaching job. I guess Mariah had not been expecting me home at 2 in the afternoon because she had a pair of guests with her. I would not have thought anything of this if I had not found her two very male, very naked guests lying in OUR bed on either side of my naked Mariah.

I didn't catch her in the act or anything, thank goodness. I don't know how I would have handled that. It was pretty clear what they had been up to, however. I stood there in shock, staring at the three of them, my mind empty. Mariah gasped and grabbed a pillow to cover herself with. The two guys just looked amused.

"John! You're home early," exclaimed Mariah. Yup, that's my Mariah, sharp as a tack.

I managed to remain calm, which was quite a feat considering my heart was crumbling in my chest. "Yes, I am," I replied in monotone. I'll bet I had a "rabbit in the headlights" look on my face, though.

Mariah hopped out from between the two guys, who just sat there like a couple of moronic lumps, and scampered off the bed toward me. "It's not what it looks like," she pleaded.

I looked down at her crotch and saw the seed of at least one of the guys dripping down her leg, pointed and replied, "It looks like you need to clean up. I'll be back in an hour. I'll expect you two not to be here." I looked at the two guys, then turned and walked out.

As I stalked away I heard Mariah call out, "John!" I didn't stop, though. I had to get out before my façade of calmness broke.

I went for a long walk. I don't know if it was an hour or if it was more, but the important thing is it calmed me down. After a while I was able to return to the apartment and face the situation. The two studs were gone when I got back. Mariah was sitting on the couch in sweat pants and one of my T-shirts, her hair still damp from taking a shower I guessed.

She looked up at me with a truly haunted expression on her face. It was hard to look at her when she had that look on her face. She croaked out, "John?"

I stood there, trying to think of what to say. I had been raised to take the bull by the horns, so I just straightforwardly asked, "Why?"

I could almost see the wheels in her head turning, the little rat on it running hard as she thought about what to say and how to say it in order to cause the least amount of damage. After a few moments she said, "Please sit down." I did not sit down. I knew what kind of power she had over me and I would not concede the advantage of position or height. Damn it, I would be the one in control of this situation if I could at all help it!

She looked a little frightened as I used my 6-foot height to tower over her with my arms crossed in front of me. She never lost that haunted expression. Finally she broke down and started to talk. "John, you have every right to be mad at me. What I did was wrong and I admit it. But please let me explain."

"That's why I'm here right now. Explain away."

"Well, we've been together a long time. Since we were 16 and in high school! I've never dated anyone but you before. Not ever. I love you and would never trade away the last 8 years for anything, but, well, I have often wondered what other guys would be like."

"I see. Well, do you know now? Are you done?" If that was the end of it I could probably forgive her, put it behind me and get through this with her.

"Well..."

That pause smashed my crumbling heart to powder. I was not enough for her and now I knew it.

"John, I love you. I really do. I love you more than I can ever put into words and I don't want to lose you. Can we work something out here?"

"Like what"

"Like...well...do you think you could handle me dating other men?" My powdered heart caught fire then and started to burn...angry flames! She quickly continued, "I would still be yours, John. My heart will always be yours. I just want to try this. I promise, I'll never leave you for any of the guys I sleep with. That will just be sex. My heart and soul will always be yours. Only yours!"

I gave her a harsh glare and I could see her eyes well up. "If I let you screw around with other men, how will you feel while I am screwing other women?"

"Well, uhhh..."

It was obvious that she did not like that idea at all! She gulped and said, "I guess I'd have to handle it. I'd be a hypocrite if I said you couldn't." She actually looked at the floor to hide how pale her face was getting as she said that. I saw all I needed with that one gesture.

"That's what I thought." I stalked into the bedroom and noted that she had changed the sheets and blanket. I guess she thought if I didn't see any evidence of her infidelity it would be easier for me to sleep in that bed with her. I had no intention of doing so now. I packed up some of my clothes as she came into the bedroom behind me. I zipped up the suitcase and Mariah cried unashamedly.

"John, please, don't leave! Stay tonight and we can talk more in the morning!" I zipped up the suitcase and brought it down to the front door. Then I started to disconnect one of the two computers (mine), which made her wail even harder, pleading for me not to leave her. I called for a taxi and went outside to wait for it. Mariah cried and begged me not to go when the cab arrived and I got in it. Too little too late. Just like that 8 years of happiness ended.

My ever-supportive parents let me stay with them for a while. I worked in my dad's shop and applied all over for teaching positions. I got one, but it was in Prince Rupert, far north from the Vancouver home where I grew up. That fall I uprooted and resettled in Prince Rupert. Thus ended one chapter of my life.

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Mariah's tale

Ahem. Hello. By now you know who I am. You might know me by such titles as "two-timer" and "slut" and "cheating bitch." I am all of those things. I earned those titles fairly. However, I was hoping to regain my original status. I do hope you will be polite and call me Mariah. I am trying to change, after all.

Back when I was 24 I was as happy as I would ever be. I was almost finished school and at the top of my class. I was living with the closest thing to perfect that any man could ever hope to get. He was sweet and caring and gorgeous and I loved him to death. Still do. I had only one problem. Well, not really a problem, but it lead to one.

You see I had only ever been with John. For 8 years he had been my partner and lover and best friend. I had never dated any other guys. I was becoming restless and I had found myself wondering about what other guys would be like. John was far superior to the rest, of course. He was motivated and smart and had these gorgeous blue eyes with long, long lashes that shone like they had a flame inside them, especially when he looked at me! I loved those eyes. He was tall and slim and had short blonde hair and I was so attracted to him.

But there were so many other men out there and some of them were attractive too.

So, I ended up allowing myself to get picked up by one of the guys at school. I told myself it would just be a one-time thing. I would get it out of my system and that would be that. I would have this one fling, then go back to John and be the totally devoted woman for him, never mentioning my one indiscretion. His one time would make our relationship stronger, I told myself.

Then I had a second fling.

No problem. As long as John didn't find out everything would be okay. I felt guilty, but that was the price I would pay for my indiscretions and I would pay it to keep John.

Soon I was having the passionate company of other men, sometimes as often as twice a week. I don't remember when I decided that I would keep doing this, but it happened and a parade of men went between my legs.

Don't get me wrong, I loved John and I would never want to hurt him. To hurt him would hurt me. I wanted the best of both worlds, though. I wanted to have the wonderful, loving and caring man john was. He was my heart and he was supporting me both emotionally and financially while I went through school. I also wanted the wild, risky thrill of these illicit rendezvous. These little affairs had an edge to them and were terribly exciting.

So, when John came home early that day and caught me just after I had finished my first ever threesome and lying between the two men on our bed I panicked.

John has this endearing way of trying to look calm and unfazed when he's hurt. He had that look on his face when he caught me. I couldn't bear to see that look, especially knowing that I had caused it. He dismissed himself, saying he would be back in an hour. I sent the two guys who had been such a pleasant diversion packing and stripped the bed. I put the bedding into the laundry and then took a shower. In the shower I broke down. I cried my eyes out as I imagined scenario after scenario of John's return, each one progressively worse.

He was gone for an hour and forty-four minutes. The bastard! I had started to think that maybe he had jumped in front of a bus or off the Oak Street Bridge or something! When he finally came in the door I was a wreck. I was relieved that he came back and terrified of what he would do.

John stood there and played me like a fiddle. I had plotted out all the things I wanted to say. I was brilliant and was going to soothe his worries and make him forgive me, but with a single pain-filled gaze he reduced me to the level of a 10-year-old girl who had gotten caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

I made my proposal and he brushed it aside. He packed up his things and he left me! Just like that 8 years of a great relationship were over. Though we were only common law, the man I had considered my husband had walked out of my life. The second worst part was that I had hurt him so badly. The worst part was that he was gone.

For the next few weeks it was hard to believe. I would go home, expecting him to be there and my heart would break all over again when he wasn't. I called his parents' house, begging for them to get him to call me, but got no sympathy from them. His mother was especially vicious, but I deserved it when she blasted me for what I had done to him. His father simply said John did not want to speak to me. When John answered the phone he would hang up.

To distract myself from the pain of my loss I threw myself into the two other things in my life: school (and later work) and men! I graduated from university and had many offers from top institutions for my services. I took the best one and soon was rising the corporate ladder.

I advanced quickly and after four years I was the head of my division, the youngest and first woman to ever do so in that company. Through those four years I vamped it up and went through men like they were candy. Mostly one night stands and flings. I dated a couple, but never longer than four months and never exclusively. I also made sure they were never connected to my work place in any way. I would not risk my job over some faceless guy whom I was only interested in to distract my mind from my loss.

I had begun to find the meaningless sex and empty pleasure less and less satisfying. I was longing for the days and nights I had spent with John. My work got more of my attention, men less of it. After 3 more months I was effectively celibate. My bed felt empty and I was lonely, but having anyone in it with me made my skin crawl.

More and more I was wishing John were there. I wanted to settle down and be a wife...his wife. I would have done and given anything to have him back, but he was gone. He wasn't even in Vancouver any more. I was lost, not knowing what to do until an opportunity came around. I am a businesswoman. When I see an opportunity I grab it by the neck and make it mine!

My company, like every other large for-profit institution, makes charitable donations as a tax write off. One of the applicants for a donation was a prestigious private school and it was my job as head of the financial department to decide where donations went. I remembered that John had sent an application for a job at this school. He hadn't expected to get it and indeed he did not, but he said it couldn't hurt him for the school to have his resume on file.

I politely informed the principal of the school, off the record, that I knew a certain teacher who's acceptance to a teaching position within the school would guarantee a large donation. He responded that there was indeed a position open for a young and talented teacher and did I have any recommendations? I told him of one he probably had on file. He replied that indeed he was on file and that an offer would be couriered to him immediately.

I smiled, hoping that John would accept the offer and move back to Vancouver. I was happy about my little play. Even if I never heard from him again I had done something for him and made a small step towards amends. He would probably move back into his parents' house for a bit, knowing him, so I could find him if I wanted. The beginnings of a plan formed in my mind...

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John's tale

I had built somewhat of a life in Prince Rupert. I had a decent job teaching grade 5 at a local school, a one bedroom apartment I was able to afford to rent and occasionally supplemented my income with a hairdressing commission to keep my skills up.

I had discovered that there were a lot of single mothers that had children in my school. I also discovered that an unmarried man was considered more valuable than gold to them. I ended up with many invitations to the homes of my students for a home cooked meal prepared by their mothers. On occasion I accepted one. I was careful and wary, though. Once bitten, twice shy you know. I made a couple of friends with benefits this way, so when the occasional urge hit me I could scratch it. I didn't really date anyone though.

In fact, I made it pretty clear that I was not on the market. I was there to do my job and teach their children, not become a slut like my ex had. I taught my class, socialized a little and generally coasted along.

I got a surprise in the mail one day. Several years ago I had applied for a teaching position in a prestigious school in Vancouver. I didn't get the job and had not expected to. I just wanted my name in their files. Imagine my surprise when I opened my mail and discovered a job offer at this elite school. The job would include a larger salary than I currently made and significantly so. The down side was it was in Vancouver. Moving sucks. Still, I would be an idiot to turn down this offer, so at the end of the year I uprooted again, said my goodbyes to my acquaintances (and especially my two friends with benefits) and was off to my parents' house in Vancouver.

My mom and dad were overjoyed to have me back in town and offered to let me stay with them before I could ask. We had always been close and they were very proud that I had earned this job.

I had the summer off, but in late August I had to go in for an orientation at the school. That was fine with me. Dad let me work in his shop again and I started hunting for a new apartment in which to live. My mom and dad lived reasonably close to Stanley Park. I loved that place, so I spent some time there, wandering through the trails or along the seawall. On one of these little walks I bumped into Mariah.

Well, wasn't this awkward!

She was roller blading toward me as I walked along the seawall and she spotted me before I did her. "John," she called before I could escape gracefully? I cringed at the sound of her voice and the effect it had on me. When I looked at her old feelings rushed through me. I squashed them down under a heavy boot. This woman had betrayed me and I was no longer in love with her.

"John! It's so good to see you again." She skated right up to me and hugged me before I could blink. I was forced to hug her back. Forced, I tell you and I'm sticking to that story. Her body, more gorgeous than ever, felt good and natural against mine and I had to consciously keep myself from kissing her. Damn this vixen for having this effect on me!

"Hello Mariah," I replied. I don't think my voice was as icy as I'd tried to make it. Probably because it cracked. She was NOT reducing me to a nervous schoolboy!

"So, when did you get back to Vancouver?"

"A few days ago."

"Are you in town long?" Was she fishing for something? I should just lie and say no, but it was against my nature to be deceitful.

"For a while." Around this time I noticed her smell. That mix of shampoo and perspiration I had gotten so used to all that time ago made memories flash through my head. I also noticed she was wearing the earrings I had given her for our 7th anniversary. Why had she kept those? I had divested myself of such items of sentimentality when I moved. Memories can be a painful thing.

"Well, it's good to see you again. Are you busy right now?"

"No." I knew it was a mistake the moment I said it.

"Well, interested in joining me for a cup of coffee?" Oh, good, a reason to say no.

"You know I never liked coffee."

"Right. You can have hot chocolate."

Ave I mentioned that I'm a chocoholic yet? I've never met a chocolate I didn't like. Damn her for knowing me so well! Just like that I was back in her web! Against my better judgment I found myself accepting her invitation and off we went to a coffee shop. We ordered and sat down, me with my hot chocolate, her with her extra caffeinated, sugar loaded energy booster coffee.

"So, how have you been," she asked?

"All right I guess." I was still wary of her, but sitting with her had an old comfortable feeling that snuck in through the awkwardness.

She smiled at me endearingly and asked, "What brings you back home?"

"Actually I got a job offer." I thought I saw a slight, subtle change in her expression when I said that. I couldn't put my finger on it or what it meant, but it was there.

"Really? Do tell."

I started telling her about the application I had made long ago and how out of nowhere I was sent a job offer. I could swear I saw her grin widen in that knowing way she had. It was a little unnerving. After I finished she congratulated me, then changed the topic.

"You know, John, I never did get the chance to tell you how sorry I am for all that happened and how I hurt you."