This was a deeply emotional story for me that culminated over six months of off and on writing. Enjoy...
~ BSR
*
Rayne lay in her bed, thrashing restlessly in her sleep. Her brow was sweating, her chest was heaving with an undying nightmare. Her smooth hands clutched at her sheets as she flailed about in horror, her legs were a tempest. In her mind, he was touching her again, just as he had ten years before. Forcing, caressing, and groping... his hands wandered over her delicate skin. She burned with fear and she screamed at herself to run, but so many years ago she was scared. She could do nothing... only hold still as her heart raced and she whimpered. Her skin seemed to notice everything touching her, his fingers, his hot breath, and his robes that chafed her legs. She was only eight, Father Dylan was her priest, what else could she do?
Her cries became louder and more desperate as he drifted further downward. "Don't say a word or you will go to hell..." he reminded her and gently put a finger to her lips. The confession booth was small and it seemed to trap her on all sides. She couldn't breathe anymore. A finger touched the top of her underwear...
Rayne woke with a cry and sat up. She was out of breath and sweating, her sheets were twisted and her knuckles were white from their grasp on her comforter. Rain pattered on the window and she looked outside, fruitlessly hoping for any break in the clouds. Brushing her matted dark hair from her face, Rayne eased herself back down onto her pillow and began to cry quietly. She begged for better days, for the sun, for meadows, for fields of flowers, for somebody to take her away. But there was the endless rain and the clouds.
She adjusted her long night gown so it once again touched her knee. She could not bear not being covered, so exposed to the world about her. He was all she could think about, the four year abuse permeated into a lifelong monster that haunted her. She wanted to be whisked away, someone that would make her forget everything. Yet she was afraid, afraid that a man would only want her physically and then leave her, bruised and hurt. Bright tears spilled from her eyes, making it near impossible for her to see.
"God... please bring me someone. Someone to love me, to take me away."
***
Not far away from where Rayne lay crying in her college dorm, Will was with his girlfriend. He had dated Amanda for six months, and tonight, he thought, he would finally be with his girlfriend in everyway. Entering her dorm, Will held onto her sides firmly and placed a passionate kiss onto her lips, letting his tongue roll over her lips. Amanda giggled and kicked the door shut behind them, returning his kiss.
"One sec, kay?" She said and pecked him lightly on the cheek one last time. Will watched as her sexy butt swayed from hip to hip as she strutted to her shower, eager to freshen up for him. Will wandered around her dorm, constantly running his hands through his dark brown hair as he waited in anticipation for the sound of the shower to cease. After five minutes he found himself lying on the top of her bed when finally she emerged from the bathroom. His girlfriend was so beautiful; her wet brown hair trickling drops of water between her cleavage that was held up by a white towel. She smiled and approached him, gently pushing him back onto her bed.
In a quick movement, her towel was off, exposing a fully nude girl for the first time to Will. Her breasts were large, her sex was shaved and she had a perfect hourglass physique. She smiled in perfect confidence of her body. Will knew she wasn't a virgin, but she wasn't a whore either, and yet her experience made him feel awkward.
"You're so beautiful," he said, a little embarrassed.
She giggled and leaned over the edge of the bed, impatient to pull off his jeans and boxers. Will laid back and let her work on him; drinking in his own excitement... he was rock hard and couldn't wait to get inside her. She giggled even more as his jeans reached his ankles and tugged on the bottom of his boxers. Will was in heaven as he felt her fingers trail down along his untouched legs, slowly playing with him, sending shockwaves through his body into his groin. She was so beautiful, she chose to be with him, and finally she would give herself to him.
But she suddenly stopped as his boxers were around his knees, "Oh... oh Will, I don't know."
"Babe what do you mean?" Will asked, sitting up.
She was pointing at his penis with a face of shock, "Is that it?" She gestured for him to look at his own four inch cock. Will's face flushed, with anger; with sadness... he was on the brink of tears.
"Girls always say size doesn't matter!" His lip was quivering and his eyes watered until his vision was blurred. He quickly pulled up his pants and looked away to hide himself from more humiliation.
"You won't be able to bring me any pleasure with that... please understand. I don't think this is a good idea anymore."
Will scooted himself from the edge of her bed while quickly fastening his pants. He could not hear her anymore; rage and shame surged through his body. He felt so...betrayed. Who was she to deny him only because of his size? His girlfriend, whom he trusted above all, brought him to the lowest moment in his whole life. Will quickly sat up and brushed past her, not giving her a second look. He bumped into the table by her door; the tears were flowing so hard all he could see were smeared colors before him. Nothing made any more sense.
It was a pitiful sight as he ran from the building, his face a bright red, his weeping apparent, and his zipper wasn't up. He did not know if anyone saw him, and did not care.
Finally coming upon his car, Will quickly fumbled through his pockets for his keys. When he finally found them, he felt as if he were a drunk; his hands couldn't keep still as he tried to insert the keys into the door. He sat in his car, feeling all was lost... his love askew. Everything he thought he knew about love, gone in an instant.
***
