I have been a soccer fan for the past ten years now and although I have sometimes wished I supported a 'bigger' club I was always proud of the fact that I was like my family and friends in that I supported my local team over all the other 'bigger' clubs. Although my local team wasn't the best in the world we had a good history and had been going for, at the time one hundred years. I would go to as many matches as I could, and unlike a lot of my friends who went I was more interested in the history of the club and ex players than I was with the current players. So when I got the chance to meet some of the clubs ex players I couldn't wait and soon found myself excitedly waiting for the day to come. The club had always been what was known as a lower league club and had only once ever managed a season in the highest league there were, many of the players that had taken the team to the top league were due to be at this player reunion I had been invited to and I was more than a little excited to have the chance to meet these players. There was one player in particular I was looking forward to meeting, called Theo who had been something of a family favourite over the recent years.
The night of the reunion fell upon my eighteenth birthday so as I stood with my parent's friend I was more than a little anxious but certainly excited, knowing that I would be able to meet players and people I had heard so much about. Over the course of the evening I had met many current and ex players of the club, along with managers and staff of the club. I had also collected many autographs and birthday wishes, and was happily chatting away to them all but still in the back of my mind I was thinking about Theo.
"And how old are you my dear?" The tall guy smartly dressed asked watching his companion sign autographs. I had seen the man before and knew him to be the clubs chairman John; smiling up at him I answered him.
"I'm eighteen today." Smiling I tell him who I am waiting for and sense my smile turning into a beaming great grin.
"He's my favourite." I can hardly contain my excitement as he smiles back at me and tells me that Theo's due and should be there soon.
"I'm sure Theo will be here soon. Take care my love and have a good birthday." Smiling as he walked away I wasn't expecting the chairman to be so nice or easy to talk to, for a little while I thought about him but soon my mind was back on Theo and praying he would turn up soon.
I had been stood there for ages and although I had been having a great time I had almost given up home of meeting Theo, I was about to call it quits when I spotted a car carrying someone who looked like Theo. As the car parked and the occupants got out I could tell instantly that it was him and trying to stay calm I waited with the others for him to come over to us, as he approached I lost all my confidence and nerve and almost cowered behind my parent's friend getting him to do my talking for me.
"Sweetheart, you don't need to shy away from me." Theo said as he smiled at me as the friend I was hiding behind asked him to sign my book. As I started to relax I held out my hand as we greeted each other, "I'm so pleased you could make it, I've been so looking forward to meeting you." But of course that was all in my mind, what I had actually said was a lot different to what I had wanted to say!
"I love you." Was what I said and then promptly blushed and tried to hide behind our family friend, smiling and pulling me into his arms Theo made me feel better by putting me at ease.
"Thank you my dear, I'm glad someone cares about me." Signing my autograph and smiling at me I looked up into his eyes and was captivated by them.
After a long and exciting day I had finally got all the autographs I could and had met Theo, calling it a night our family friend call my folks and after saying goodbye to the friends we had made, we left. But not before I saw Theo one last time, there was something about this man that just captivated me.
"Thank you for putting me at easy earlier, I really appreciated it." I said as I tried to not only to be confident but also make this moment last. Smiling and taking my hand in his Theo's smile and eyes were enough to put me at ease.
"It's quite alright my dear, I am glad you came to see me tonight." His words came in the form of a smooth southern Irish accent and his charm was evident, neither of us wanted to leave and as we stood talking about nothing in particular my folks walked in alerting me to the fact that I really should go.
"Come on Nicky, it's time to go. Remember you still have that birthday party planned." My mother called out without looking up, finally doing so when Theo spoke.
"You should have said it was your birthday, I could have brought you a drink my love. Thank you for coming to see me, how old are you?" Kissing me on the cheek as he spoke, Theo smiled and led me towards the door and my mother who greeted Theo warmly.
"I'm eighteen today, and I wouldn't have missed tonight for the world. Thank you for the autograph Theo." I said as I wished I could stay but knowing I couldn't, I finally and very reluctantly left and went onto my party. Over the next few years I went through some good and bad times, many of which revolved around the club. I saw the club win promotion and take a trip to the then Mecca of soccer, Wembley Stadium. I also met Theo on a further three occasions and each time we would talk and get on like a house on fire, wishing that each time would last forever. But then things would start going wrong, jobs I had fell through and friends I thought would last forever didn't. Over the course of the following five years I would be hurt many times by guys I thought would love me and then chose to hurt me, one of which was the chairman of the club; John. He was my first lover and although I thought he loved and cared about me I quickly learnt I was wrong, as he became the first man I fell in love with he and the first to break my heart. I would cry over him for many years to come, but he wasn't going to be the only man to cause me pain and break my heart. When I turned twenty one I was sexually assaulted and raped by a man I thought was my friend, at that moment in time I thought my life was over. It was thanks to another man that worked at the club that I started to mend and heal, but as I turned twenty seven I quickly learnt that I was wrong again.
He would end up cheating on me and leaving me on my birthday in the middle of a foreign country, scared frightened and very much alone. My life had certainly been through the mill and through it all there was one constant thing, my soccer club and the friends I had made there. Although I hadn't seen Theo for a good four years I would often think of him and would wonder how he was, after I had turned twenty nine and I had heard off two ex players passing away I thought I would contact Theo. Wanting to find out how he was became a bit of problem when everywhere I tried drew blanks, and although I had thought about giving up I was determined to at least make sure he was ok. Finally with the help of friends and colleagues I managed to track him down and after chickening out several times I found the courage to pick up the phone and called him. Feeling the nerves rising deep within me it must have taken me four attempts at calling him before I took the easy route and wrote to him instead, weeks went by before I got an answer and as I had expected he called me.
"I'm so glad you contacted me Nicky, I heard things have been rough of late for you." The concern was genuine and evident in his voice, after assuring him I was ok and passing the time of day we arranged to meet and then said our goodbyes.
When we had first met I admit that I probably fancied him a little, but at the time I was eighteen and he was fifty eight! It was not something I could ever see happening, but the fact we were friends and the thought of being able to see someone I could trust was enough to make my excitement rise again, and as the day came and I got ready to meet him I could feel the nerves rising too.
"I know it sounds daft Jay, I just can't help it." I admit to my friend who was sat, not only trying to comfort me but also help me choose what I should wear. Sighing deeply Jay spoke knowing she didn't need to but wanting to.
"You always do this Nicky, you know you will be fine so stop worrying!" Smiling at her as she looked over to me with the same look I knew she would give me, I tried not to laugh as I continued to get ready.
"I know and I am sure you are right, I just can't help worrying about it." Shaking her head and rolling her eyes Jay just sighed, causing us both to fall about in fits of laughter. After three more outfit changes I was finally ready and headed of to the local bar unsure of just what I was doing.
As Theo sat wondering if he was doing the right thing I was thinking of all the hurt I had been through mainly but also just what I really wanted to happen, both of us seemingly unsure as to where this night would lead or even end. Walking in the door, I spotted Theo first and stood watching him for a little while, watching as he tried to make sense in his mind of what this evening had in store for us both. Approaching him Theo seemed more than a little relieved that I had turned up and greeted me with a huge hug and a lingering kiss on the cheek, lingering for as long as he could Theo whispered into my ear how good I looked.