Girlfriend Experience

I knew she was a lot more experienced than me. Her confidence in all things physical emanated. She made it all so easy, you could ask her anything. She would tell you what she wanted, needed even. She always orgasmed. Sometimes small, sometimes huge, but always. It's never in doubt that my lover has been satisfied.

One time, she was horny and just asked me to rub her slit and finger her. She didn't even touch me but I remember it as one of the most erotic sights I'd seen. Her chest heaving, squeezing her own tits and ruffling her own hair as my fingers danced away between her thighs. She says I'm better than any girl at eating pussy. I didn't dare ask her how many girls have eaten her pussy but I have lingered on the thought. You might say I'm a bit shy for not delving into her past, but in truth it's not shyness it's lack of confidence. She is like gravity to me, I feel her pull and I didn't want anything to break my orbit.

We met through work, strange these days as normally most of my dates I've met via swiping right. I was at a client site consulting on their IT infrastructure and designing new workflows. The Ops manager for the area had a magnetism I couldn't ignore. My two weeks onsite were ending and I summoned the courage, normally Dutch courage but not quite appropriate at work, to ask for her number and if she would like to meet for drinks sometime.

We met a few times for dinner, often followed by drinks or hitting the comedy clubs, turns out we both love a good laugh. On the way home after the fourth date, she gave the international sign of let's move it to the next level and invited me in for a drink.

Back in her apartment, I became quiet and unsure, I knew what was going to happen and my conscious brain became trapped behind a dam of self doubt. Often people don't think I'd be shy. I'm tall, athletic, and have a chin superman would be proud of. But I've always lacked confidence within groups and situations where everything is on me. I'm sure it's Freudian, no not sure, one hundred percent confident it's Freudian. It's those moments of quiet that occur in conversations, I feel the world project a Bond suaveness that I should somehow contain. Expectations I'll come out with a witty remark that makes everyone cheer and soak all G strings in a ten metre radius. I guess you call it imposter syndrome. I feel the constant suspicion that I don't have "it" and I'm not really sure what "it" is. She filled the void and we carried on chatting, drinking, and laughing. Soon our faces were too close, her scent captured me, penetrating my skin and making me hard. Even the hairs on my arms were erect. The first kiss, full of softness and promise. When she started stripping off her clothes, my breath was taken away. This ain't my first rodeo, but I wasn't prepared for the sight of her body. I remember vividly, she pulled her top off and I'm struck immediately by two things, and not the two soft fleshy orbs you'd expect. Her clothes are chosen to hide her figure, she is a classic hourglass that would achieve a meme style double glance if she walked by in tight clothes. The second is her tattoos. They start between her breasts, extend out and cups them. They are joined by intricate patterns that decorate her abdomen, follow the headline of her hips and contour her body. She is wrapped in a corset of ink. Once again her confidence radiated. She pulled my top off, and pushed me onto my back. I'm not sure when my pants disappeared but she was on top of me and I'm inside her. I'm all nervous and internally panicking about coming too soon and ruining it. But then there was a giant queef fart as she rides me hard and we both crease in giggles. All anxiety disappeared and we both enjoyed the night.

That was fifteen weeks ago, and three weeks since that night, the night she told me everything about her past. The highlight reel includes incredible sex in both our apartments. I can't sit or lie anywhere in my flat without picking up the scent of her wet labia. Hand jobs in the cinema, it makes the film a lot more entertaining. Eating her out and passionate sex in a couples retreat health spa, they lock you in a room naked and say cover each other in clay and have couples changing rooms what else is going to happen? And we just returned from a cycling holiday in Spain, including Paella, beer, wine and literally sex on the beach. But its more than sex. Everything is easy with her. Conversation, laughing, shopping, cycling, hiking, meeting friends, everything. We have slipped into each other's lives so effortlessly. Even watching TV is enhanced when I'm with her.

But three weeks ago our relationship changed. I headed to her place, she was cooking a holiday inspired dish with the help of a loudmouth TV chef cookbook. As we ate, I felt her mood change, it became serious, more like a working lunch.

"I really like you"

"I like you too, and not just because you cooked."

"I want us to carry on, being together."

I'm getting nervous, a coldness moving across me like a seal sitting on sea ice who just spotted an Orca and a David Attenbourgh film crew.

"What's up, have I done something to upset you?"

"No, no. I was thinking about us this last week. I love every minute with you."

"But" It felt like there was a but.

"I want to tell you about my tattoos, I want to tell you how I got them before our relationship gets any deeper."

"I have wondered about them, but I don't see how tattoos can change how I feel about you"

"I'm going to tell you about a crazy year of my life, and if you still want to be with me afterwards, you will know there are no secrets from me. If you don't, I'll understand, heart broken but I'll understand."

"I, er."

"It's OK, you don't have to say anything."

She poured more wine, and began her story.

Ten years earlier, when Tabitha was nineteen and wanting to head to university with her friends. She realised two things. Firstly, she didn't have enough money to get to university. Secondly she wanted a break, a rest from study. Tabitha's family is very poor and she grew up studying hard and being a third parent to her siblings. By the time it came to university she was really worried about burning out. She would need to study and work full time to pay her way. Tabitha decided a time to reset and focus on life goals was required, quite mature I reflect. She differed her start date by 12 months and got a job, actually three jobs to cover tuition fees through university. A supermarket job, an evening waitress job, but first was eight weeks working as a chalet maid in a coastal resort. The idea being she can have some fun and still generate funds for university. When this small town edge of big city girl arrived at the resort she was astounded by the luxury of the complex. The chalets were impressive, each bigger than her parents house. Tabitha's job was to clean rooms, restock fridges, change the towels, make sure the sheets and consumables where replaced daily and smile through any lecherous comments. Her first couple were In their mid thirties and clearly wealthy by all measures.

Things started as you would expect, generous tips, mild harassment by resort guests, constant conversations with her tits. But Giles and Samantha were different. They treated her as a friend. Got her drinks, invited her to join them for breakfast and lunch. She even bumped into them at the clubs and danced through the night with them.

On the fifth day Tabitha walked in on Samantha masterbating. Face down on the bed with a vibrator sliding between her puffy pink lips. Tabitha wasn't sure if Samantha was aware of her hiding behind the door, she must have heard her entering the chalet, but carried on penetrating herself with the dark purple vibrator regardless. Tabitha tried to make herself disappear while at the same time staring at the spread open body. Tabitha had never seen another woman so exposed before, well except porn but that didn't count. Porn isn't in 3D stereo or scented. Samantha's moans excited Tabitha, she could feel her own pulse throbbing in her nipples as she stared at Samantha's stretched vagina. Later that night she bumped into them at Zero2Hero club. Giles and Samantha, generous as ever, bought her drinks and kept her well stocked all night. They danced with her closer and closer until Samantha kissed her passionately, her pouty lips and tongue exploring Tabitha's mouth. The taste of red lipstick hung on her tongue. They shared a taxi back to the chalet and Tabitha joined them in bed. It was her first lesbian sex and threesome. Samantha hungrily ate her pussy. Giles hung his cock in her mouth, she sucked him as best she could. Soon she was on her knees with Giles inside her and her face between Samantha's thighs. It was strange seeing female anatomy this close up, sure she had checked herself out in a mirror but it never looked like this, all wet and swollen. Tabitha dived in tongue first licking, sucking her clitoris and labia like her fantasies with Albert in English class. The night finished with Giles inside Samantha and Tabitha sucking her breasts and fingering herself. Afterwards when Tabitha wasn't cleaning she was sucking and fucking both of them. The night before Giles and Samantha were to depart, they invited Tabitha to come stay the rest of the summer at their house. Tabitha revealed she needed the job to pay for uni and would have to stay. Giles and Samantha offered to pay for her tuition so she could come and have fun with them. How could she refuse? Tabitha quit all three jobs and went to stay with Giles and Samantha. Turned out they had a huge Penthouse in central London and lived a very lavish lifestyle.

Tabitha spent her days with Samantha, drinking, shopping and generally being a play thing. In the evening when Giles returns, it turns out he runs a hedge fund which explains their vast wealth, she was their sexy plaything. Gin and vodka from the clubs now had ecstasy and cocaine mixers. The first fuck Tabitha had high on a cocaine and ecstasy was the most mind bending orgasm she'd ever experienced. Her body became a giant clitoris and vagina, all her organs replaced by a vast love tunnel. When Giles pushed inside her, she opened up from thighs to throat. Each stroke started between her legs, pushed through her pelvis, past where guts and lungs should be and came out her mouth. At full hilt, his cock tickled the base of her skull. When Giles ejaculated it filled her head with semen, she could even taste his sticky salty cum as it filled her body like a flaccid condom until it overflowed spilling out between her thighs.

Soon the evenings with Giles and Samantha's where joined by their fuck friends for very adult parties. It would start with Samantha and Tabitha blowing the men before breaking down into threesomes and foursomes. But it changed after a few more parties. Samantha joined those on the sofas and just Tabitha provided the oral relief regardless of cock or pussy. Tabitha spent most of these parties naked with cum pooled between her legs or dripping down from her mouth. Splatters of white goo decorated her tits and hair. In the mornings she would wake up infused with perfume, cologne, salty semen and vaginal juices.

They kept their word, Tabitha found 50k in her bank account. They hadn't covered one year tuition but all five years of tuition! Tabitha felt grateful and was able to relax without worrying about money for the first time in her life. In truth she was also enjoying herself. The sexual freedom, lack of responsibility, financial security, risk free life they provided. She felt liberated from the world she grew up in.

After a few months Giles and Samantha referred to her as their little slut, and she agreed with the monichor, how else could she describe herself. She was a nineteen year old sex toy who in the last three months had lost count of the amount of cock, pussy and cum she had consumed. Samantha and Giles even gifted her a collar, dangling from it a silver tag displaying her new name "Slut". Tabitha describes it like a separate person emerged called "Slut". Slut had no barriers or limits. Slut lived through her vagina, clitoris, anus, nipples and mouth. Slut's body had the scent of sex and her pussy learned to drench itself at the sight of erect dicks or wet girls. As Slut emerged Tabitha faded behind a haze of weed, ecstasy, cocaine and gin. She became a work prize for Giles' hedge fund subordinates. Giles and his lucky colleague would come back from work and Slut was ready with a drink, cocaine, and a hot mouth that smelled of Samantha's vagina. Slut would take them both in her hungry vagina and tight anus. Often both men at the same time, often finishing with her tongue savouring both strains of semen.

Soon eight months had past, Tabitha was losing perspective on what normality looked like. Her days were lunching with Samantha and evenings dressed in a collar, thong and heels. Slut was in a happy place. Giles and Samantha held more parties, more fuck friends, more drugs, alcohol and orgies. Tabitha can't remember the night but Giles recorded it all and played it back to her in the morning. Samantha kept giving Slut more and more drinks and drugs while one of their fuck friends tattooed her. Turned out he was a professional tattoo artist, a favourite for footballers and actresses alike. Outlines of mesmerising patterns were appearing between her breasts, arching over her hips, contouring her body in wonderful permanent decorations. He even made her areole rounder and pinker, apparently her natural ovals were a flaw to be amended. Both Samantha and Giles could be heard directing the tattoo artist on the video describing what they liked, what excited them. Samantha also convinced drunk, high Tabitha to get her new name tattooed. The video showed her request the word "Slut" be tattooed on the inside of her bottom lip. It didn't end there, soon "whore" and "cumslut" where tattooed on her labia, and "cunt" tattooed just above her clit.

Tabitha's face was flushed and emotive like I hadn't seen before. It wasn't embarrassment, or shame. More nervousness that I would judge her. I poured more wine, struck dum by what I'm learning.

Slut spent a lot of days after that high, Giles and Samantha became more controlling. Bondage was introduced into their sex games. Tabitha would be tied up with a vibrator on her clit or inside her and the sex become all about power games. A favourite for them was Slut tied up with both of them fucking her, Samantha wearing a strap on, double penetrating her with Giles. After another party Slut woke up with piercings in her tongue, nipples, belly button, and clit hood. Tabitha started not to recognise herself, fearing only Slut existed. But she still loved the freedom, an existence without consequence, where only desire and lust existed.

It was the last party ten months since they met that broke the spell for her. Giles and Samantha planned for their Slut to be tied to a table for all to use. This Tabitha was OK with and consented, a certain thrill of not being able to refuse whatever was put inside her. She was dosed with a usual mix of contraceptives, vodka and cocaine. That night was an orgy of cocks inside her body, constantly filling her vagina and anus. Sometimes two at a time, sometimes three. She could feel the different sizes, and girth's. She could feel the cold rubber strapons and the wetness of pussy's smearing against her. As soon as one was removed her vacant orifice was filled by an obliging other. The constant pleasure of being stretched, the painful pleasure of constant tease, she was in Slut heaven. But Samantha and Giles wanted more, they wanted to adorn their Slut with one more thing. They wanted to brand her ass with their initials binding her body to them forever. This was a firm no, she hadn't consented to being branded and kicked up a fuss, which is hard to do when strapped to a table. Giles was upset, he had set his heart on it. But Tabitha was firm, she said no and they had to respect it. Within a week she had decided to leave and keep her plan of heading to university. Giles and Samantha were sad to see her go. They gave her a large deposit for a house and a share portfolio as a thank you for a wonderful year. They left on good terms but she has not seen them since. To confirm this wasn't a tall tale, Tabitha pulled down her bottom lip, the word Slut in fine size 8 italic font clearly readable.

Silence sat between us. I remember the conversation went something like this.

"I'm telling you this as I really like you. Really like you. I didn't want you to find this out later in our relationship because If it broke us it'd be too painful. Right now if you are not OK with this I'll understand. It'll hurt and be upsetting but I'll understand."

"I, it's a lot to take in. I'm going to. I need to process, is that OK?"

"Sure, do you still want to stay tonight?

"Yeah... yes sure."

I wasn't sure. My awesome girlfriend had just told me she had fucked substantially more women than I have, never mind men! But it was a decade before. Who was I a decade ago? Who am I to judge? But I had to ask.

"Do you miss it?"

"Being a sex toy?"

"Yes, I guess?"

Tabitha took a moment to compose her words.

"I think the bit I miss is the lack of control. With Giles and Samantha they were in charge of everything. I was a fuck toy, sexual pleasure and orgasms was all that mattered. It sounds crazy and wrong but when I think back, that's what I linger on."

"Do you want me to be more like that? Controlling, dominating? In bed I mean?"

"I love sex with you, but yeah sometimes I wish to feel the sexual freedom of being that Slut and have you control me."

I didn't really know how to answer that. We didn't say much more that evening. In truth I've been struggling with it. Tabitha is pensive, awaiting our relationship verdict. What's really hanging on me is not the year of debauchery, although I'm not sure what I feel about that. It's the dominating part.

Although I look like an alpha male, I've got a chin a commando would crave, I don't like bossing people around. It's just not me, especially in relationships. But she wants this, is it not my responsibility as her partner to fulfil her needs? Man up and dominate her? Bend her over and use her body? Fuck this is a mind bend. Twenty one mornings, lunches, evening meals, and nights I have obsessed on this. Everything I know is not this. It's respect, mutuality, and equality. Here is the most incredible woman I have ever been in a relationship with, she tells me she wants me to own her body, but more, others have done it. They have owned her and she loved it. I can't help but replay our intimacy and wonder if she's been comparing me to Samantha and Giles. Do I eat pussy as good as Samantha, does my cock feel better than Giles?

I can't really chat to my friends and gain their insight. Hi Carl, Tabatha was a willing sex slave to a couple and now she wants me to dominate her pussy. Any ideas on how I do it? Even relationship columns are no fucking help! I'm all alone in this. I have to figure this out!

I spend time arguing with myself. Reading and researching bondage, domination and submission. I watch a ridiculous amount of bondage porn. I have learned one thing, I hate it! It really isn't me. I'm not comfortable with the thought or following through with it. But what does that mean for Tabitha? Does it mean being unsatisfied? What I love about our relationship is knowing she is enjoying fucking me. Not now, it will alway be a question mark. A never answered question constantly underlining everything we do, what's worse than that?

I need a way forward, not a way out. It's about confidence. I think about that night I fingered her and she didn't touch me. She was consumed by my fingers inside her. Not Samantha's. Not Giles. I thought about her orgasm when I thought her pussy was going to crush my cock. How did those things happen? Is there a secret there? Was there a message hidden in her body language that will help me?