Girl Gets Her Man

"You won't mind taking this back to Langier's and getting me a good one."

'Oh, yeah sure, Jesse. I'll just get my coat on and drive on down to Langier's to get you a fresh hot chocolate, because I'm just here to do your bidding.' Joanne shook her head at herself as she stood outside of Langier's. 'Why don't I tell that girl off? She's not much of a friend lately.' She knew it was pitiful and stupid, but this wasn't really about Jesse's hot chocolate. She figured she could go over to the office and see if the schedule was up for next week. That was the lie she was telling herself. She tried to prove to herself that she didn't really want to see him as she pushed into the shop. She pretended that she didn't want to see if Daniel looked at her the same way he had that night. 'That's just stupid. The man was drunk off of his ass.' As she got into line, she wondered, 'Maybe, if I see him and he's different, I can stop the stupid thoughts. He didn't want me, right? If he acts like he doesn't know me, I can convince myself to forget what he said...'

"Joanne? Long time, no see," David Langier smiled at her and pulled her out of the line. "How is that young man of yours?"

"Who, Gary? He's fine, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Yeah," she tried to lie, "I've just been so busy with the start of classes. We haven't had much time."

"Too bad for him," he placed a hand on her arm and showed her to a table in the corner. "Do you have time to talk?"

It was a little after noon on a Saturday. Of course she didn't have anything else going on. 'I wish I could lie'

"Sure," cautiously came out of her mouth. "I'm just getting something for a friend."

"Good. We can have a chat."

'Chat?' Jo wasn't too sure about herself anymore. She didn't want to be rude, so she agreed to the conversation. The elder Langier excused himself and went over to one of the workers behind the counter. He said something with a nod toward Jo and returned with a calm smile to his face.

*

At first, Dan thought he imagined her speaking outside the kitchen door, but the door swung open and he saw the side of her face as she nodded to his dad. He moved toward the door, but he got an order for two of the special chocolates. 'Pop knows I'm the only one that can do that. He's keeping me busy. What is he trying to pull?'

*

"So, tell me about yourself." Jo could have sworn David scanned her body. 'Or did he just notice me move my hands to my lap?'

"There's not much to tell. I'm a student. I graduate this semester."

"No," he frowned, "where are you from? What do your parents do? That sort of thing."

'Why the hell does this guy want to make nice all of the sudden?' "I'm from about an hour north of here. My dad's an artist, and Mom works in a bank."

"An artist? What kind of an artist?"

"Painting mostly, but he's done sculpture and other things over the years. I think Mom would paint too, if he'd give her enough room in the studio."

"And why aren't you an artist. It must be in the blood like most things," David raised an eyebrow.

'Wow. He wants to carry on a normal conversation after what he did before.' "I thought I'd be a painter, but I'm not too good with anything but hands. I doubt if a career could be made in hand portraits."

David surprised her with a laugh, "I don't know. There are some who would pay a lot of money for a painting of my hands in dough."

She couldn't help but smile back, "I'm sure there are." She'd been caught up in the familiarity of his smile. It slowly moved across his eyes, as if he himself were surprised that the emotion had managed to take his entire face. She looked down to keep from seeing the similarity to his son's smile. His long fingers traced a pattern on the tablecloth. Daniel's hands were just as slender.

'I figured a bread maker's hands would be more solid.'

As though he heard her thoughts, David said, "It's hereditary. The long fingers. Our family were bowmen, and later, musicians. Even now, Daniel and I are the only ones without music."

"Dan plays the piano at the Bans," she informed him.

"Yes, well, he stopped that before Christmas," he looked to his employee as two mugs of hot chocolate were placed in front of them.

*

Dan watched from the door as she put her fingers around the outside of her mug to warm up her fingers. He wanted to talk to her. He thought she wouldn't come within a mile of the place. 'If she's here,' he figured, 'It's not as bad as Christmas break. I have a tiny chance left. What the hell am I gonna say!?' He moved back into the kitchen to regroup.

* Just from the scent that traveled up from the liquid, she could tell this was the real thing. The drink that she'd missed for over a month beckoned to her. She stared down at the whipped cream. 'I don't need you, hot chocolate. You won't win me over so easy.' She felt David's hand close around hers.

"You have such small hands. Does your mother?"

Oddly, Joanne couldn't move away from his caressing fingers. She just looked back into his frowning face. 'Is he hitting on me? No. He couldn't...Is he?'

"Hey, man," Jo looked up into Jeremy's smiling face. "I thought you were too old for this shit. This is ridiculous."

"Jerry! You're staying in town?" He let go of Jo's fingers and shook Jerry's hand. "I thought you were headed for Cleveland."

Jeremy stared down into her eyes. She couldn't seem to do anything but stare right back. A jumble of words crowded into her throat and froze there.

David acknowledged their attention, "You two know each other?"

His response was a low, "Do we, Jo? Or are you gonna act like you don't know me, again?"

"We know each other," she frowned as she cleared her throat and forced herself to look away. 'What good would it do?'

"Well, I'm glad you're not crying this time. I didn't recognize you. You must have lost weight or something, and your hairs a lot longer."

He slid down into a chair next to David. "You know," he leaned over toward David, "this girl was the love of my life, but she never gave me the time of day."

"I remember it differently," she said to her mug of hot chocolate.

"Yeah, you would. All you cared about were my hands on the piano, anyway," he laughed in his low self-deprecating way.

"I cared about more than that," her voice trembled. 'I can't just sit here and have a conversation with you.' She took a big reassuring swig of the hot chocolate. It scalded her tongue on the way down, but she kept the smooth movement of her cup back down to the table. She felt the whipped cream on her nose and wiped it off.

Jeremy's eyes narrowed, "Then why'd you avoid me after I told you how I felt?"

'Because of what you did!' "I've got to get going," she said as she tried not to scowl at Jeremy.

David insisted as he stood up with her, "Stay. I thought we were trying to have a conversation."

"I..." She was about to make a polite smile and sorry excuse.

"Yeah, stay," Jer took her hand.

"No!" She knew her scream had been too extreme of a reaction, but it was out of her control. She achieved the goal of getting his hand off of her. She grabbed up her coat and scarf to leave, but Jerry blocked her exit.

"What's your problem? We haven't seen each other in a long time. I missed you, Jo. I wanted to catch up with you." His hands were on her arms and he leaned in toward her face. "Didn't you miss me?"

'Get yourself out of this. Think before he...'

She closed her eyes and allowed the kiss to land on her cheek. His lips lingered on her skin for a brief moment then he looked into her eyes. She looked right back and said, "Are you done with me, now?"

*

Dan heard her raised voice again as he prepped for the dinner crowd. He dropped the dough and pushed his way through the swinging door. He wasn't sure if he should step in. They looked like they were hugging at first, then Jerry moved in on her. Dan didn't see what happened next, because Jerry leaned down. When he could see Joanne's face, he immediately knew she hadn't wanted it to happen. Dan moved a few steps forward before he knew what he was doing. No one saw she was going to blow. Her low menacing voice should have been warning enough, but Jeremy didn't seem to notice. Dan's head got hot. He knew it wasn't right to be jealous, but he knew how Jerry was with women. There could be no legitimate reason for him to kiss her, like that, in public.

*

"Since when are you so rude," Jerry scanned her face.

"Since I'm done being afraid of what people say about me. What makes you think you can touch me?"

"What?" She took advantage of his confusion and moved out of his grasp.

"You can't touch me," she heard come out of her mouth in a growl.

"I just did. What is this? I thought you'd be happy to see me," Jerry scoffed as he moved closer, again.

"I'm not," she said as she avoided his next advance and picked up her purse. She held it at chest level as she backed up against a table. 'Stupid. What are you doing? Put that thing down at your side. What is a purse gonna do to him?' She let the purse fall toward the floor, with the strap firmly in her fingers, while she pulled on her coat.

"Joanne," Jeremy attempted to appease her. "Let's just sit back down and talk. You can tell me how you've been..."

"No, thank you." She pulled her coat together and turned her back to him.

"For gods sake, Jo! We were lovers..."

Joanne wasn't sure how she looked, but she couldn't deny her frustration any more. 'Everything is not okay. How dare you act like it is.' She swung the purse in an arc that made contact with his arm. Jeremy stood, stunned, with his hand where her purse had struck him.

"Is that what you call it?"

Jeremy didn't respond. She could see him thinking. The next thing she knew, she was being held firmly in David's arms as she seethed in her attempt to strike out. She had to have made a rush for him, but she didn't remember.

"Huh? Mr. Big Man? Is that what you call it? Is that what you tell yourself when you remember what happened?"

Jeremy raised his voice, "You're startin to get on my nerves, now," as if she were some bad little girl.

"Answer the question. Were we lovers?"

"I don't need this," he shook his head at her as if she'd gone crazy.

She stopped struggling and David cautiously let her go. She straightened out her coat and looked directly into Jerry's eyes.

"You don't get to touch me."

Joanne left the shop as fast as her shaky legs could carry her. 'Wow! That was...What the hell was that? Man, I looked crazy. I know it. I'm no better than Candy. At least, I didn't have as big of an audience. I should have done worse. I could have. No. If I'd done that anywhere else, he wouldn't have taken it like that.' She got to the intersection and crossed the street before she saw a flash out of the corner of her eye. 'Oh, no. He's coming after me.' She looked back into Daniel's eyes as he stood with the door open.

He just stood there with the cold wind whipping through his clothes. He faced her direction, so she looked around. 'He can't be looking at me.' Sure enough, Candace approached from behind her. 'Today just gets better and better,' Joanne sighed.

"What were you doing?" Joanne heard as she put her head down and walked past Candy. "Were you looking at him? Hey, I'm talking to you!"

Jo kept on walking. She heard Candy try to keep up with her. Jo stretched her legs a bit farther and sped up.

* Dan jogged up to try to stop Candy from following, but they were too close together. Joanne could turn around and see him right next to Candy. She'd jump to the wrong conclusion, again. He'd be farther from his goal. She hadn't headed in the direction of her car, so she had to be headed for the office. He knew it would be the long way, but he ran around the side of the building to the street side entrance. He knew she'd take the stairs. She always did. 'Why would today be any different.' He pressed the button for the elevator.

*

"Damn it, you bitch! Get back here!"

Joanne paused in mid-stride. 'It's okay. Keep moving.' She'd made it across the park and to the steps of the sciences building, before Candace finally ran to close the distance between them.

"Look, you little slut...whore. Don't...phew...make me..." Candace panted for breath with her fist raised toward Jo's nose.

"What?" Joanne wasn't as winded. She walked across the park at least four times every day. "Don't make you kick my black ass?"

Candace reared back in surprise.

"If you ever catch me near Daniel again, you'll try to kill me or something like that, right?"

Candy just blinked.

"Well, go right ahead." Jo did her best imitation of Jesse. "What? You don't feel like it just now? I could really use a good fight, right about now. Listen good. He's not with me. He's yo man. And as far as fuckin him goes, I don't fuck. Not him. Not anybody. I still owe you for that stunt you pulled after the concert, so I'd be really nice to me." 'GIIIRRRLLLL!!!! What the hell is getting into me? I've never seen that look on her face. Not on anybody's. Not because of me, anyway.' Candace stayed at the foot of the stairs with her manicured fingers touching her throat as Joanne went up and into the building. Jo wanted to apologize, but she figured it did Candy good to be put in her place for once. She watched from a corner window as Candy made her way back toward Langier's. 'Well, that does it. I'll just never go back there ever again. Maybe I should drop out of school. It would be easier to explain.' Jo took her time up the stairs and to the third floor. She had needed to get to somewhere normal when she turned for the sciences building in the first place. The only slightly normal place she could rely on was Dr. Samuel's office. She knocked.

"What on earth? Joanne, you're not scheduled to be here," he said in his usual brisk way. "It's Saturday."

"I'm sorry, doc. I'll just come back some other time," she made an attempt to leave.

"No, come in and meet my wife. We're just stopping off before I take her to lunch. Why is your scarf wrapped around your wrist like that?"

She recoiled. It wasn't really anything that he did that set her off. She looked down at the scarf she'd been clutching in her hand. Dr. S had smiled slightly when he said the word wife. He probably didn't even know he'd done it, but it was just normal enough to make the tears roll down her face anyway. It had been too much to think that she could progress with her day as if nothing happened.

"I'm so sorry," she whined as she turned away and went for the door to the stairs.

She didn't get very far. Daniel stood there covered in flour. Before she could gather her thoughts enough to figure out what to do, he'd pulled her into his arms. She resisted his embrace. He hadn't heard what Dr. S had said, but he felt her rigid body moving away.

"Please, Jo. You've been brave enough, today," he whispered with a firm squeeze.

She looked up into his slate eyes. 'I have, haven't I?' He urged her into the office that they'd shared the semester before. It felt so right to comfort her. Daniel crooned to her as she shuddered in his arms, "It's gonna be okay. I promise. Don't make me do this anymore, Jo. I can't do this..." She heard him speaking softly to her but didn't care what the words were. Just the warmth of him made her feel better. His eyes burned as his throat refused to let him say one more word. 'I can't keep away from you. Just let me stay.' He pressed his cheek to her hair and moaned softly in the hope that she would get what he was feeling. Dan rocked there, just inside the room, wrapped protectively around her. She raised her face and snuggled into his shoulder. Joanne looked up at him with those wide almond shaped eyes. Her mouth opened slightly as he squeezed her tighter. Her hands moved to touch his neck and pulled him down to be inches from her lips. He waited there for her to make the next move. It didn't take long for him to feel her fingers caress his ears and a pressure on his lips. He watched her close her eyes as she parted her lips and let him have her tongue. She tasted so warm and sweet that he almost took the lead and held her head. When she stopped the kiss, he put his lips to her salty cheeks and then let his nose settle on her left temple. They lingered together until a knock came to the door.

Dr Samuels peaked in, "Is she better?" His inquiry was greeted by two sets of reddened eyes. "Oh, this isn't good. Has someone died?"

Dan shook his head. He didn't care that the professor saw him, but he felt Jo tense up against his body. She pressed at his chest with her palms. 'Oh, no no no. What have I done. What am I doing?'

"I'll just leave you to it, then," Dr. S softly said as he retreated.

As the door closed, he put his lips to her forehead before reluctantly moving away from her. Dan looked into her eyes. That wall was back up, and it was being reinforced as he watched.

She scanned his face. 'Oh, god! He felt so good. Why did he have to feel like that?' "Why?"

"Why am I here," his voice came as a raspy whisper. "Why do you think?" He made a move to touch her face, but she moved away. She couldn't stand the delicious thought of him touching her.

'Ah! Not out of pity. Don't think about his hands or his mouth. Or...!' "Why are you? You should be with her."

"Let's not talk. I'll take you home."

'Taking me home right now would mean I'm okay with being girl number two.' She shook her head, "You need to go find Candy..."

He dodged one way and caught her hand as she tried to avoid him. "You need to go home. You shouldn't have come here after what just happened."

"You saw that? I'm sorry. Tell Candy I didn't mean..."

"Don't you dare take back all of this," he frowned as she pulled out of his grasp. "Why can't you just let me help you?"

"Because...It's wrong. You shouldn't be here." She muttered as she glanced around the room. She would look anywhere but directly at him. She didn't want to see the sympathy on his face. She had broken down, hadn't she?

"How can this not be wrong? You won't let it be any other way," slipped out of his mouth before he could censor it. This wasn't the time. He didn't need to make her more upset. Not today.

"You started this. Why couldn't you have left me alone?"

He marveled at how quickly she'd replaced her tears with anger. Her hands pressed firmly against her hips, she frowned at the wastebasket in the corner instead of up at him. Her front was nearly complete. Instinctively, Dan backed away. This wasn't about him. She was after herself.

"I was just fine without you," she tried to convince herself. "I had it together. Why did you have to make an idiot out of me? Look at me. Look what you did. I'm a mess."

He responded quietly, "Okay. You want to fight. I get it. But, you can't make me go away. It's not that easy to make me hate you. I'll take you home."

She pulled in air to make a big protest, but he interjected, "There's nothing you can say about it. You may not want me to be the one, but there's no one else here. Just let me do it." The frown subsided slightly. He pulled up a clean corner of his apron and ran it across her cheeks. "Now, go apologize to Doc, so I don't miss the dinner rush."

Joanne didn't argue. She didn't have the strength. 'Why is he still here? What is wrong with me? Why does he insist on seeing me like this?' Jo apologized flatly to Dr. S and allowed Dan to take her home.

*

He managed to follow her back to Langier's parking lot. They got into his car and he made sure she got in. Though her face pointed away from him for the entire ride, he could tell that she was tired. On the way up the stairs to her apartment, she leaned heavily into his side. Dan broke the mutual silence by saying, "Are you okay to make it the rest of the way?"

She nodded silently as she looked up at the door. He dropped down a few steps and pressed a kiss to her cheek. 'She let me do that. Wow! Stupid, don't take advantage of this. She might not feel the same tomorrow.' "I'll let you go the rest of the way alone. You don't want to have to explain why I would be here, right?" He hoped she would ask him to stay.