I hated working overnights.
We were remodeling the bathrooms at the store and a manager had to be there with the crew, five nights in a row. Tonight was night five. I was done.
I came in at eleven as scheduled and immediately plopped into a chair in the office. I knew I wouldn't make it through the night without coffee. I knew I wouldn't make it through the night without having to speak to him. He, Giovanny, had been working with our facilities maintenance company for years and what had been a professional relationship had turned to a somewhat personal relationship over the past few months. We spoke on the phone occasionally and every time he came into the store, I had trouble keeping the smile off of my face and the flirt out of my voice. He knew I wanted him. He was half Italian, half Dominican. He was sexy, with his tanned skin and short dark hair, hard within his body from the physical work the job required, soft around his eyes, a deep brown that made you think you were seeing everything and nothing about him all at once. I would stare at his ass when he would walk in front of me to show me something, and I would hear the accented comments he made under his breath about mine when I had to do the same.
Every night that week, it had been hard seeing him. I was the only employee there with them, the six Spanish men who would make comments as I walked by, and I would hear what sounded like a warning from Gio in Spanish from time to time. I would stand there and stare, lost at the language I didn't know and get a reassuring smile, with a dimple on one side, and a wink, lower lip pulled under his white teeth. When he looked at me like that, his tongue running over his lips, his eyes hazy with lust, I would sweat and back away. It wasn't that I didn't want him. If anything it was quite the opposite. But I wouldn't do that in the store, even if there was no one there to see or hear or know. Even if I knew where there weren't any cameras.
The men were already quite involved in their work by the time I got there. I had to fight the urge to just put my head down and black out from exhaustion, and it was a struggle to push myself out of the chair. I went to the bathroom they were working on and inquired about where he was by saying only "Giovanny?" In broken English, I learned that he wasn't coming in tonight, there had been problem in another store and he was needed there. I smiled a shallow smile and thanked them, hoping they wouldn't make fun of my obvious disappointment. I don't know why I cared.
I don't know why it mattered to me that he wasn't going to be there. Our interactions were limited because of the work they had and the work I had; it was fleeting moments, quick words, a smile from across the sales floor, a soft pinch as I walked by, that made every stupid, exhausting minute over the last five nights seem like they were worth it; the hours left before me seemed to grow exponentially at his absence.
I threw myself into work, cleaning employee areas, moving things, rearranging displays, pushing product to the floor. Within the hour, I was sweating and breathing hard and trembling with my false energy. I stood there with my hands on my hips as the Spanish men filed past me to step outside for a smoke break. I wiped my forehead with the back of my arm, ran my fingers through my long hair, pulling it into a ponytail. I was thankful I had chosen to wear a tank-top, and a black one at that, so that no one could tell how hot I was, and I rolled the bottom of my jeans up to try and cool down. I had taken my shoes off already, my small feet looking even smaller in my white running socks. I needed water. I needed a break too.
I walked to the back of the store to the small cafΓ© we had and went into the back room, almost completely black with the lights off. I grabbed a plastic cup off of a shelf and walked to the sink to fill it up, dropping it on the floor just before I got there. I sighed a heavy sigh at my tired unwillingness to bend over and pick it up, putting one hand on my hip, staring at the floor. I heard a small laugh behind me and turned quickly around to see Gio standing in the doorway, leaning into its frame with his arms crossed. "Consada, ha?" he asked, laughing softly.
"Beyond consada. There is a whole new word for tired that I have not yet even discovered." I tilted my head to look at him. "They said you weren't coming in," I said quickly, conscious that whatever desire for him I'd been trying to conceal was now openly displayed in those words. I could barely make out his face, but I could see enough to know he smiled.
"Are you crazy? And miss my last night with you? Never," he said, his accent heavy, sexy, making my skin tingle and my stomach flutter. I backed myself into the rim of the three part sink, the lip of the metal making it so I could almost sit on it, and I crossed my arms. I could smell him from across the room, deodorant and cologne of some sort.
"Why do you always back away from me?" he said, and I was glad I couldn't see his eyes as he spoke, knowing they'd be unblinking and inviting, challenging and enveloping all at once.
"Because," I said lamely.
When I didn't continue he said, "Because why?"