I caught the aliens in the middle of my wheat field just after midnight.
I'd been hoping they'd show up again. They'd been a giant pain in my ass.
Their crop circles were impressive. I had to give them that. The first design featured multiple circles of various sizes connected by a thin ring.
The second design, which was much bigger, showed up five days later. A series of circles radiated outward from a central point to form giant spiral arms, like a galaxy.
The local news loved that one. They used a drone to get aerial footage for their nightly broadcast.
That, of course, brought out the crazies. People came out of the woodwork to check out the mysterious alien designs.
And it wasn't enough just to
see
them. No, sir. They needed to touch them. Dozens of clumsy, careless feet tramped through my field every day, doing far more damage than whoever had made the stupid circles in the first place.
Pranksters love attention, so I knew they'd be back. The prospect of making the news again would be too tempting to resist.
For three nights I waited in the middle of my field, like Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin. And for three nights, I trudged home tired and disappointed.
On the fourth night, my luck changed.
I heard them before I saw them.
"Start over there," a girl's voice whispered.
I poked my head above the wheat. Four teenagers were fanning out through the field, each carrying a long wooden plank with a rope threaded through either end. I crept closer as they made their way toward the center of the field.
"This good?" a boy whispered.
"No," the girl said, annoyed. "Pace it out, like I showed you."
The boy nodded and took a series of measured strides away from me. The girl spun in the opposite direction and started pacing forward. Right toward me.
I waited for her to stop, but she just kept coming. She held her head down, eyes fixed on the ground. Her mouth moved in a silent count. She had no clue that she was almost on top of me. I grinned.
"Evening!" I shouted, leaping to my feet.
The girl shrieked, then stumbled backward and fell on her butt.
"Shit!" a boy's voice hissed. The three other trespassers dropped their boards and scampered through the field into the darkness.
The girl was still sitting on the ground, staring up at me in wide-eyed shock. I pulled out my phone.
"Smile," I said, snapping a photo.
She jumped to her feet. "Hey! What the fuck was that for?"
"Evidence," I said. "And watch your mouth."
She glared at me. I glared back.
I waited until she dropped her eyes, then angled my phone toward her so that she could see the photo. "Funny. You don't look like an alien. More like a scared kid."
"I'm fifteen. And I'm not scared."
She pivoted and glanced in the direction where the others had been.
"They're long gone," I said. "Left you to take the fall. Nice friends."
"They were smart. I should take off too." Her eyes made a quick sweep of my lanky frame. "Not like you could stop me."
"Don't need to." I waved my phone. "I have this. You run; I take it to the police. That's door number one."
She sighed and crossed her arms. "What's door number two?"
"Own this. Call your folks. Right now. Tell them what you did. Tell them to come pick you up. And tell them I want to have a chat."
She stared at me for a long time, then pulled out her phone. "Fine."
She made the call then followed me through the field to the house. I paused at the front porch with my hand on the doorknob. "You scared of dogs?"
"No."
"Good."
I opened the door and Luna, my yellow labrador retriever, bolted onto the porch.
"This is the girl that's been tearing up our field," I told Luna. "Bite her."
Luna wagged her tail, licked the girl's hand, then flopped onto her back for a belly rub.
"Traitor," I grumbled.
"Hi, puppy!" the girl said, dropping to her knees and stroking Luna's belly. "Oh, you're so sweet!"
The girl's eyes lit up and a huge smile spread across her face. For the first time, she looked like a kid and not a sullen brat pretending to be a world-weary adult. "You're a good girl," she cooed. "Yes, you are!"
"What's your name?" I asked.
Distracted by Luna, she answered instantly. "Katie." Then her hand froze on Luna's fur and her head whipped around. She stared at me with narrowed eyes, like I'd tricked her into revealing a secret.
"Hi, Katie," I said. "I'm James McCreary."
Katie gave me a brief nod and continued to pet Luna in silence. After a long time, she rose to her feet. Suddenly deprived of attention, Luna jumped up and pawed at Katie's leg.
"Look, Mr. McCreary ... I'm sorry about your field."
I studied her face. She was a cute kid. She had straight black hair drawn into a loose ponytail and a smattering of freckles that dotted her cheeks.
"No, you're not."
She gave me an indignant look. "Yeah, I am."
"You don't sound sorry. You sound irritated."
"Well, yeah. Because you don't believe me."
"I believe you're sorry you got caught. But that's not the same thing."
"It's not like we killed the wheat," she said. "I researched it. The boards we used only bent the grain. It'll keep growing."
"Doesn't matter," I said. "I still can't harvest it."
"Why not?"
"A combine can't cut below six inches. If I try to harvest your artwork, it'll ruin the whole machine. Can't make money on wheat I don't harvest."
Katie's cheeks flushed pink.
"Didn't research that bit, did you?" I asked.
Luna started barking. A few seconds later, I heard car tires crunching up the gravel path to the house.
I grabbed Luna's collar and pointed to the porch swing. "Have a seat. I'm gonna take her inside."
When I got back to the porch, a Honda Civic with a dented front quarter panel and missing hubcap was parked in front of the house. The door flew open and a tall woman in sandals, flannel pajama bottoms, and a blue T-shirt jumped out. As she jogged up the steps to the porch, I saw that her shirt was inside-out and backward.
She shot me a wary look. Her right hand clutched what looked to be a container of pepper spray. She strode to Katie's side. "
ΒΏEstΓ‘s bien?
"
Katie stared at the floor and nodded. "I'm fine, Mom."
I suddenly felt like an enormous asshole. Katie's poor mother was scared out of her mind. I'd dragged her out of bed and forced her to drive to a complete stranger's farm in the middle of the nightβaloneβto pick up her daughter. Just because I wanted to teach Katie a lesson.
This was exactly why I hated being around people. I wasn't good at it. Not anymore.