Fuck this shit
, he thought, slamming the phone into its cradle.
I have work to do, and I realllly don't have time to put up with Rachel's nonsense
. He knew he was going to pay dearly for that, but he couldn't help himself. There was only so much blame a man can take for things that aren't his fault, things he hasn't even DONE before he just can't take it anymore. Better to hang up in anger than for that same anger to make him say something he can't take back.
It's not that his girlfriend was a BAD person, really, she was just...well, she was a difficult person, though recently she'd been more difficult than usual. After almost a year together, it was not looking good for them. There'd been love there once, but now it was just bitterness and fighting.
Who am I kidding? There was always as much bitterness and fighting as anything else.
He put his head in his hands and sighed.
What the fuck am I going to do?
I'm not happy, she's not happy, but I can't...
There had been a part of him that had wanted to end it for a while, but he wasn't one to give up. Besides, the fight that would come from a break up would probably kill one of them.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw a flashing window on his computer screen. He turned and saw that it was Leigh, an old friend from college, IMing to let him know her bus was on its way. She was coming to town for a job interview and he'd offered to let her spend the night with him.
No
, he reminded himself.
Not 'with me.' That's what got me into trouble in the first place. She's 'spending the night at my apartment'.
He sighed again. Like wording it differently would have made any difference to Rachel.
He wrote back to Leigh, telling her that he was excited to see her and to let him know when she was getting close. He was being honest, he
was
excited to see her; the fighting and stress and angst was more than worth it, and he'd been looking forward to this visit for weeks. He missed her, she'd been one of his closest friends for a long time, but recently they'd grown apart. Part of it had been the distance, the two of them having moved to different cities after college, both working long hours. But he knew that was only part of it, and he suspected Leigh did, too.
Leigh was beautiful, a fact that Rachel had reminded him of repeatedly for the last two weeks. But she'd been beautiful as long as he'd known her, but nothing had happened between them. Rachel hadn't really believed that, but even when she accepted it, she pointed out that wasn't for lack of desire. It had been a mistake to admit that to her, he knew, but he didn't like lying to his girlfriend.
The fact was that they'd both had long-term relationships in college, and they'd never had a time when both were single. But he'd wanted her badly. It wasn't purely physical, he was closer to her and more comfortable with her than with anyone else. But it was definitely physical, too. He'd been jealous of her string of boyfriends, all guys he thought were better looking, smarter, funnier...everything-er than him, guys who got to touch her and love her in ways he could only dream of. Of course he knew her better than any of them, and as they had come and gone, he had remained. But he'd never gotten what he'd always wanted, and now that they were living apart, he doubted he ever would.
He still didn't know whether she felt the same way; as close as they'd been, they'd never crossed that line, talked about his feelings for her, or the possibility that she'd had them for him. There had been plenty of jokes and comments over the years, but he'd always laughed them off, as had she. Significant others had suspected something, he knew, and not just his own; more than one guy had confronted him over "getting in his way" or "ruining things" for him. To her credit, Leigh had never sided with a boyfriend over him, but she'd also never acknowledged the potential that he really DID feel the way they accused him of feeling, and she certainly never admitted to feeling that way herself.
Now he saw his phone blinking; a text message.
Shit
, he thought. He looked at saw that it was from Rachel. "This isn't over." it said. "You'll regret that."
Fuck you, bitch
flashed through his mind. He beat the thought back, knowing nothing good would come from it.
He sighed yet again and returned to work. Better not to think about how weird this night was going to be. He just hoped Rachel didn't show-up at his place and do something crazy. He didn't put it past her, but the last thing he wanted was to make Leigh uncomfortable. There were plenty of things he wanted, but that was certainly not one of them.
--------------------------------------------------
John was sitting in his car at the bus stop, waiting for Leigh to make her way out. He'd just left Rachel's, having gotten the earful he suspected.
"You know why she's here," Rachel had said. "She's going to try and seduce you."
He'd told her that was ridiculous, that Leigh was here for a job interview, nothing else.
"Then why is she staying with you? What, they wouldn't get her a hotel room?"
Pointing out that he'd offered just made it worse.
"Right, because you WANT to fuck her, of course, how could I forget?"
"Ok, that's it. I'm not having this fight with you again," he'd said. "She's going to be here soon, and I'm tired of trying to convince you of something you'll never believe. I've never cheated before, I'm not cheating tonight."
"Just remember to wear a condom; I don't want to catch anything from that bitch," she'd said as he walked out and slammed the door.
He looked up and saw that Leigh's bus was pulling in. He'd do his best not to think about Rachel, her jealousy, her meanness, but he doubted it would work. Leigh was fun, but he doubted that anything could distract him tonight.
He watched as she got off the bus, and suddenly all the fighting just melted away. His feelings for her rushed back when he saw her face, saw her smile at the driver as he took her bag off the bus.
God, she's beautiful
, he thought. Maybe he suppressed it, but all the memories of her laugh, her touch, came flooded over him. She was wearing a pair of tight jeans that showed off her legs and her ass.
Oh, shit, that ass
, he thought, remembering all the times he'd watched her walking, that ass swaying slowly from side to side, his mouth watering.
He smiled and managed a weak wave. She ran over to him, her breasts bouncing slightly.
Are they bigger than before?
he thought, as he got out of the car to great her.
"Yay!" she said happily, beaming as she reached him. "So good to see you!" she practically shouted, hugging him hard. Her breasts pressed against his chest, and they felt amazing.
They certainly FEEL bigger...
"Good to see you, too," he said, holding her tight, perhaps too tight. But she didn't say anything, she just held him, too. "How was the ride down?"
"Ugh, long," she said, turning to him. "Don't say it."
"Don't say what?!" he said, feigning confusion.
She rolled her eyes and walked to the car. As she went, he looked down slightly and watched her hips sway, his eyes locked on her ass.
Fuck,
he thought.
This is going to be hard.
--------------------------------------------------
John drove home, listening to Leigh talking about how much she hated her job and how excited she was to about this interview. He tried to pay attention, but his mind was wandering, bringing him back to college. There were memories of them hanging out, laughing, watching TV, talking, but also memories of catching a glimpse of skin when she took off a sweater, when she came out of the bathroom in a towel...
"I'm sorry, what?" he said, realizing that she was staring at him, waiting for a response to something.
Leigh laughed. "Preoccupied, much?"
