He slowed to a walk and glanced at his phone to check the time. Didn't really matter--just habit. In the fall with cross country it did, but now with high jump and long jump approaching it was all about an explosive start and brief sprint followed by a jog for recovery, then again, and again.
He loved the early morning. The air was still fresh, new, before all the cars and things changed it and here, walking on the paver path that surrounded the lake on campus...he was still amazed. A whole ecosystem had been created by students in a dozen majors.
A deep end with nothing, then an area of deep aquatic plants, then the water lilies, then plants erupting from the shallows--arrowhead and dwarf cattails. Then the grasses and sedges, the brushy area and finally the trees.
The trees. His favorites. The early morning was peaceful, quiet, calm--just the way he liked it. Just the way he liked his life.
He took a last look at the new leaves erupting from the branches and headed for the dais. The early American industrialist, founder of the university and raised a full four feet off the ground. Perfect for his vertical jump practice. He squatted and threw his arms down as he jumped and easily made it to the platform. "One."
He turned to jump down, but as he glanced across the pond, he saw her. And the peace of the early morning evaporated and pain stabbed his heart. Shoulders slumped, hands in her face, hair a mess, obviously wearing last night's outfit. A bag sitting next to her on the ground.
But to him she was beautiful. Her dark brown hair glistened in the early sunlight and he knew exactly what that face looked like underneath those hands. He'd watched it grow and change since her family had moved in next door when they were both six.
He sighed and whispered to himself, "Why, Sam? Why do you do this to yourself? Why can't you see?" He walked around the pond, sat down next to her and put his arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder and continued to weep. "I knew you'd be here, Drew."
"Rough night, Sam?"
She nodded. "Broke up with Matt?" She nodded. "Sorry, Sam."
"Drew, I thought we had something special. Something that would last, but I woke up this morning when I heard him getting dressed. I said, 'Last night was fabulous, Matt.' 'Yeah, it was fine.' Fine! Drew, I pulled out all the stops, gave it everything I had and he says it was 'fine.' " Drew winced, his heart pierced again.
"And then he says, 'I have to go to the team breakfast, but I think things are getting a little stale. I think we need to break up. There are some bags by the trash can. You can put all your stuff in those as you leave.' I'm lying there naked in his bed and he tells me to get the hell out! Out of his apartment, out of his life! What the hell, Drew? Who does that?"
The image was ripping Drew apart. Sam in someone else's bed, but never his. He wanted to cry and run away, but instead, he buried it. Like always. "I'm sorry, Sam. His loss for sure."
"Drew! What's wrong with me? Over and over. Same ending to every story. The only difference is how many pages there are and how terrible the end is."
"There's nothing wrong with you, Sam. Some guys are just...well, they don't understand how precious and wonderful the person is that they're holding. And maybe you keep looking for your answers in the wrong place. Remember what they say about insanity. If you do the same thing, but expect the outcome to be different?
"Maybe you need to look closer to home--or something. Maybe what you need is right in front of you." He froze. Maybe he'd said too much. She raised her head and searched his face, but turned back away.
"Sam, uh, look. You have a couple of options. You could go back to your room, get cleaned up, then head out and pick out the next guy to be a little salve on your broken heart. Take your mind off what Matt did. But you know it's just going to be another short story, right? The guy would just be a temporary replacement, the next Matt. Right?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he..."
Talking over her, "Or, you could take a break, take a breather. We could head up to the cabin and you could relax, get away from everything and regroup. We could hike," smiling, "I could try and teach you a little about nature..."
He felt her chuckle a little. He swore she intentionally would not learn anything about the plants and animals. A tiger swallowtail. Common, big, beautiful, yellow and black butterfly--couldn't confuse it with anything else. They'd see one and she'd say monarch, skipper, buckeye. Anything but tiger swallowtail.
"So, how about it. Best way to get over a breakup. Come on. You know you want to. I'll teach you all about herbaceous perennials." He felt her chuckle again. "And the big yellow butterfly that's out and flying around already is a..."
"Buckswallow skipper head."
"Exactly!" She turned and hugged him.
"Thank you, Drew." He always knew just how to hit the right buttons to help her feel better. The familiar warm sweater when she was cold. She looked at his face again. Drew? The look on his face! Was that a flutter in her stomach? But they were just friends, right? God, if he felt she was more than a friend she must have hurt him a hundred, a thousand times--just like today.
No! They were just friends. But she looked at his face again, "Maybe it would be just what I need. You always know just the right thing to make me feel better."
"Alright! So what if I pick you up about eleven or so after my classes and..."
"Uh, no. Thanks. But I'll drive myself. I have some things to do and a noon class." And she needed to swing by the liquor store and get some vodka and mixer. She was afraid Drew wouldn't approve. "I'll just meet you up there."
"Alright, if you're sure. So, I'll see you later on. And if you're doing okay, I have forty-nine more jumps to do, then shower and class."
"Drew, you are one sick monkey. But thanks. Thanks for cheering me up a little. See you this afternoon. Make sure all the women's undergarments are put away." She smiled, kissed his cheek and left. She knew there'd be no undergarments there. Why didn't he date? There were so many girls that wanted to go out with him.
"Will do. May take a while. Happy to help." He paused and searched her face. The longing tugged at him, urged him to just reach out and grab her. But he knew he couldn't. He at least had her friendship. And no way did he ever want to lose that.
She got up, turned her back to him, then turned back around. "Drew? What's wrong with the water lilies? They're usually so beautiful and full, but they're all closed up. Locked up. Are they dead or something?"
He smiled. "Water lilies close every night as it gets dark and then reopen in the morning. It's a symbol of rebirth, reawakening. It reminds us that every morning we have choices. We have the opportunity to change, to make things happen, to live the lives we want to live.
"Others say it's the path to enlightenment. The roots are down in the muck and no matter how bad things are or were we can grow up out of that and blossom into a thing of beauty." Laughing, "But anyway, they're fine."
"Thanks again, Drew." She turned back and walked off. She shook her head. None of the guys she'd dated would ever, ever have come up with something like that. Drew was like the answer man or something. He knew so much about so many different things...
He watched her depart and felt the same twinge of loneliness he felt every time she walked away. He laughed to himself. Maybe his rebirth will lead to being a better high jumper. Forty-nine more.
At five o'clock he sat down and was ready to start eating when he heard a car on the gravel drive. He went out on the porch and waved. "You made it! I figured you'd decided it wasn't your best option."
She stared at him a moment. "No. Just got tied up with Mel and lost track of time. You know how she likes to talk." He nodded. But he was right. He knew her so well. Actually she'd spent the afternoon pacing her room trying to decide whether to go or not.
Something about Drew was pulling at her, but Drew? Mr. Steady? Mr. Predictable? Mr. Calm, cool and collected? Drew. She needed excitement, change, a little chaos--didn't she?
Drew had acted weird this morning. A little different than usual. She usually knew exactly what he was thinking, but this morning...it was different. When she hugged him, he hugged her back. Fine, they hugged all the time. But it wasn't that friend:friend hug. It was like he never wanted to let go of her.
He'd wrapped her up a little tighter, held her a little longer, and he'd taken a deep breath like he was breathing her in. Like he needed her or something. No. It couldn't be, could it? They were friends. Just friends. But it ate at her all afternoon.
What if she made a move and he rejected it. What a nightmare. She'd never be able to look him in the eye again. Right? Mel said she should just go for it and give it a try. A lot of folks who dated and broke up were still friends afterward. True, but a lot weren't. No way could she lose Drew as a friend. A world without Drew? She didn't even want to think about it.
She had just about decided to go out clubbing, forget about Drew and find her new replacement, but then she thought about the water lily. She'd be opening her petals to the same world. A repeat.
She already knew in her heart that the guy she met tonight would be, how did Drew put it, a salve. The sex would be fine, not great. And a day, a week, a month from now she'd be on the bench again trying to figure out her Deja vu life.
Drew had acted like he needed to tell her something. God, what if he was transferring, moving somewhere else? Or getting an internship somewhere; oh crap, or finishing his stuff online? He was her best friend!
What would it be like if he weren't around to pick up the pieces? Just a thought of that possibility made her feel a little empty. It frightened her. He had to be around. He was always around. She had to see what was up, so she drove to the cabin. Just the thought of making the move and being rejected made her nervous, but she'd brought some liquid courage.
