* The setting is England.
CHAPTER 1
The coach was full as it left Oathaven and headed north for London on the annual outing of the Women Against Family Violence Society. Husbands accompanied their wives or partners except for widow Marion Fanning who brought along her eldest, 20-year-old Freddie, a university undergraduate seeking a degree in banking and finance.
The tour leader Francis, new and second wife of the Rev. Percy Ives, had been ticking off arrivals on her clipboard as they entered the coach and looked around anxiously for the last arrival. Freddie ran from across the street chewing at a piece of cardboard-like pizza that he decided tasted like shit rather than the alleged 'chopped ham and cheese in gravy'.
"Are you Freddie Fanning?"
"Yes babe, and who are you?"
"Tour leader Francis Ives, Mrs." There was no emphasis on the title of Mrs.
"Simply stunning," Freddie said and boarded.
Marion Fanning was sitting next to Iona Stewart. She glared at her son and said, "You're late" and all the older males smiled, recalling that even sons out of their teens remain under contrived female dominance.
"I saw no reason to hurry as I knew you'd not allow the bus to depart without me."
The women who heard that sighed, thinking another egoistical male bound to heap trouble on a poor unfortunate woman who fell besotted by his unruly blond hair and sharp blue eyes and who stupidly would say yes to his proposal of marriage.
Freddie went to the back seat that went the full width of the vehicle to the one spare seat and offered a bite out of the pizza to the woman next to him. She snorted and complained to her barrel-like husband who exchanged seats with her. His suit smelt of beer and cigarette smoke so Freddie turned to the woman on his left. She swallowed and whispered to her husband. They swapped seats so Freddie now had a thin guy in a suit that smelt of mothballs sitting on the other side of him. He was unimpressed and had no idea what the two men and their wives thought. He wished someone more human was sitting next to him like...er...that Mrs Ives. God, what a honey she was -- she'd be not much more than thirty and married to that dour beanstalk minister.
The tour through the Modern Tate gallery of art from 1900 quite fascinated Freddie and his interest caught the interest of the tour leader who'd become a little miffed by comments from others in the party such as 'Revolting', 'It's ridiculous making women look like this' and 'A heap of codswallop'.
"Oh this is magnificent Mrs Ives. I'm so glad I joined your tour."
"Why did you join the tour Freddie?"
"Mom wanted someone to accompany her and my two sisters wanted to do other things."
"And noble Freddie stepped in and said something like 'Mother, I'll not leave you unattended'?"
Freddie smiled. "Actually I said yeah because she said if I came with her I could have the car for four Saturday nights."
The minister's wife giggled, hitting an alert button within Freddie. He looked and caught the beautiful smile. God, she was so choice.
"Call me Francis. You are my only bright light in this party I'm afraid Freddie. Some are critical we are not viewing earlier art, others wished we were at the Albert and Victoria Museum and some of the men expressed the wish to be at a pub."
"Philistines Francis."
She took his hand and squeezed it. "Yes and thank you for your understanding. Sit with me at lunch."
Freddie watched the long-back Francis walk away, her short auburn hair dancing just above her shoulders and the cute ass was a joy to behold. She had little flab and that would be why her boobs were almost invisible; they'd almost certainly be small. Freddie wondered if she were lonely and was feeling strongly the absence of sex being married to a pious 50-year-old. Nah, the lucky sod would be all over her in nightly hip-thrusting ruts that took him halfway through the night. Freddie, addicted to one-night stands, found himself taking a mild interest. He actually wondered what Francis would be like pushing into her...
"That's a piece of art I didn't think you would be interested in," his mother said. "I thought you would be having your tongue swell in your mouth while you panted over the nudes?"
"Ah no, my interest in art is global," Freddie said, still looking in the direction where Mrs Ives's ass had been but now found Picasso's Three Dancers in focus.
"This is boring. I wish we were looking at pre 1900 art with religious themes," complained his mother, wandering off arm-in-arm with the haughty Mrs Stewart, at least she acted haughty whenever Freddie was around. Perhaps she was his mother's secret lover? His mother and sex? Nah. Oh shit, she must have been into sex to have three children and you don't get a kid with the first spew of seed. She must have been fucking as if there was no tomorrow. His mother? Christ, what was the world coming to?
Freddie wandered on wondering how many times a week Francis and her clergyman did it. Fifty-three? Three? Suddenly there was Francis walking back towards him. She smiled and he asked, "How many times a week do your husband and you do it?"
That wiped the smile from her face. Freddie was sorry about that. Was he insane?
He apologized, pathetically. "It's all this surrealism around me."
Francis was now blushing. "It's okay, quite a reasonable question actually from a stranger."
Freddie looked at his feet and willed them to take him through the floor.
"It's perhaps the most astonishing question I've ever been asked."
He tried in vain to answer.