I ran into my room and slammed the door home behind me. Angry, I threw my backpack across the room, and watched it hit the wall and slide down. Walking slowly over to my bed, I sat down on the edge and tried to force myself to breathe.
"Just breathe," I muttered to myself. Count to ten or something. I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Was there something wrong with me? I mean, I thought we'd had a good time last night until my mother ruined it for me. Oh God!
I sat up as a smashing pain drove through me. Did he really think I was like my mother? My worst fears were confirmed and I felt like dying. How could he possibly think of me like that? Anger rushed through my veins and I found myself wanting to break something.
I stood and began pacing in my small room. If he honestly thought that I was like my mother, then he was sadly mistaken! I fumed to myself. After more than half a year together, he seriously thinks that I'm like that? What planet was he on during class? I was on the planet Earth, of that I was certain. But him, not so much, I think.
I was the furthest thing from my mother. I was fat, she was somewhat skinny. She had sex with anything that resembled a human, and I was a virgin. She'd had me and I was two by the time she was my age. She did drugs and I thought, but couldn't be sure, but prostituted to get the money. I was NOTHING like that. But more than anything, she was my mother.
And once upon a time, she'd been a good mom, doing anything and everything for me. Until my ex-stepfather had introduced her to Ice. I felt my fists clutch at my sides. That bastard ruined my mom for me and society. Not for the first time, I wished he was out of jail so I could kill him with my bare hands. The stupid bastard.
I shook my head. I was getting off the topic. I was nothing like my mom. I loved her unconditionally, and always would, but I was nothing like her. I was the complete opposite. How could he think I was anything like her?
Tears threatened to fall, and I looked around desperately. No tissues. Damn it. "FUCK!!" I screamed, wholeheartedly and fell onto my bed. Clutching my pillow to my face, I cried into it as I had so many times. I was so wrong about him. He wasn't the person I thought he was. I thought he liked me for me. I guess not.
And that was what hurt the worst. That I had but my trust into him and he pushed it away like that. All that talk about being his girlfriend? I sighed. And those delicious kisses of his. I felt and involuntary shudder slide down my spine. Man, could he kiss.
I laughed sarcastically. What the fuck was wrong with me? I wanted to hit myself in the head and tell myself what a tard I was for even thinking he could be serious about me. Jesus, what kind of an idiot was I?
The seventeen year old kind, a voice said inside me. I knew right then and there I was sooo done.
I stood up, forcing myself, and wiped my face clean. Taking a deep breath, I picked up the backpack, and left my room. I glanced in my moms room to see her passed out with a bottle of HRD next to her on the bed. I shook my head and left the house, locking up as I left.
