Author's Note: Well, at least it didn't take three months this time! Thanks again for all the great feedback! I know Ch.02 wasn't quite as good (or long) as Ch.01, but I felt it was important to show Gabriel's side. But now we're back to Kes, and just to reward you for you patience, I give you: SEX! Thanks to coloryourworld and warrior_wolf for editing. Check out my blog for updates. All comments welcome! Enjoy!
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Just Not the Same
His mouth was hot on mine, his tongue demanding more. His hands travelled up under my t-shirt, finding and caressing my needy breasts. His mouth left mine and travelled along my jaw, then to my earlobe, nibbling me towards ecstasy.
His hand began to drift back down my torso, inching towards my jeans until it finally found its goal. Unbuttoning the fly and slipping his hands inside, he quickly found my wet core and began stroking my folds.
His skilled fingers began to build a powerful desire in me, but they were not enough. Eye still closed, I pulled him closer to me, asking,
begging
for more.
"
Gabriel
..." I moaned against his lips.
His hands stilled and he abruptly pulled back leaving me cold.
"Who the FUCK is Gabriel?!"
My eyes flew open. I suddenly remembered
who
I was out on a date with,
who
was supposed to be my boyfriend.
"Shit Ben, I'm sorry! I just..."
...have absolutely no explanation.
"Have you been messing around with someone else? I mean I know we never said we were exclusive, but I didn't think you were the kind of girl to be with more than one guy at a time." He sounded really hurt, so I tried to explain, even though he might not understand.
"I haven't cheated on you Ben, it's not like that! Gabriel was the first guy I kissed, the first guy who ever touched me there," I said, gesturing to indicate my still open fly. "I swear, I haven't been with anyone since I met you!"
"Do you still have feelings for this guy?" he asked quietly, head down, eyes fixed on the steering wheel in front of him.
"No! I mean, I never had feelings for him, except maybe lust. Gabriel is just a friend."
"Really? Then why did you just say his name? Be honest," he said, his puppy-dog brown eyes finally meeting mine.
"Honestly? I don't know. He and I were never really together; we just messed around a little. He's my brother's friend, so I see him a lot and I guess sometimes I want him. I think we have what you'd call chemistry. But I swear I like being with you! I just sometimes feel like I left things with Gabriel...unfinished." I looked at him, pleading with my eyes for him to believe me.
He sat thinking for a while, and I didn't know what to say or do, so I just waited for him to speak. I had been telling the truth, I really did like Ben. He was...
nice
. Since that night with Gabriel, I had gone out with a couple other guys and every time it had ended the same. None of them made me burn like Gabriel could; their kisses and caresses were never enough.
I had never gone farther with them than I had with Gabriel, and none of them had ever made me cum. Every time I got close, I started to think about
him
and then I just couldn't...
Ugh
! Ben wasn't any different in that sense, but we got on really well otherwise. He wasn't as into body art as I was, but we liked a lot of the same books and movies and he was really sweet. I really wanted to try with him.
He turned back to face me.
"I really like you Kes, but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. As much as I hate to say it, I think you should figure out what's going on with you and this guy. If you decide there's nothing there, I'd like to try again, but I can't pretend that nothing has happened." He sighed. "I'll take you home okay?"
I just nodded, still taking in what he had just said. The drive home was silent and quick. When we arrived, I felt I had to say something, "I
do
want to be with you Ben, but I guess you're right, I have to sort out what ever issues I have with him. Thanks for dropping me off." With that, I left the car with one final look back before I went inside.
The Plan
Over the next few days, I spent a lot of time thinking about my...
situation
with Gabriel. I realised that I continued to want him. I wasn't sure why, he was still like a brother to me, and since our night together he had kept his distance without actually avoiding me. More like he was giving me space, which was just what I needed.
But I hated feeling like this, needing him. It was driving me crazy, feeling so out of control. I needed to get him out of my system. I decided that all my desire for him was just curiosity, and that if I slept with him, I would have done everything thing with him and would have nothing left to be curious about. Part of me also wanted my first time to be with Gabriel; I knew that if it were, it would be