Chapter Thirteen: Reap the whirlwind
It seemed like I'd only just fallen asleep when the house exploded in light and noise. It was after I sat bolt upright in bed, I discovered that it was only my head that exploded. I winced in pain and covered my ears as some horrible cacophony, at what sounded like 150 decibels, blared from the portable CD player sitting on the dresser. Standing next to the open curtains and window was Gretchen, dressed in her ratty workout gear. She grinned evilly at me.
"I'm working out in here this morning," she shouted. "Hope that's okay."
I stumbled out of bed, and the waves of noise - was that country music? - washed over me, driving me back at the same time I was trying to move forward. Gretchen's grin didn't waver as I reached her, but she looked confused when instead of searching for the off switch, I picked it up by the handle and staggered back to the wide open window letting in about three million candles of early morning light. Without further ado, I tossed it out the window and there was a crash, followed by blessed silence. Then I closed the curtains, shutting out that damned star.
"Hey!" she objected, "I liked that CD!" Then she rushed to the window, leaning out to look down at the rear patio, the curtain swirling around her. "There are other people around here! You could have killed someone!"
"Better them than you," I growled. I sat on the edge of the bed and tried to hold my pounding head together with my hands and sheer willpower. "Tell me it was Lurch. Please. I need to start off today on a more positive note than I've had so far. And playing loud music when I feel like this - if you can call that music - is not being very considerate, given my head this morning."
Gretchen sat down beside me. "Well, you weren't very considerate last night, running out on me and getting drunk. Bad behavior shouldn't be rewarded and I won't enable you!"
I looked up at her astringent tone. Yeah, she was still pissed. Her smile looked too brittle to be real. This was still about last night. I sighed and covered my eyes. "Gee, Doctor Phil, do we really have to do this right now?" I muttered. "I feel like shit."
"Do you want fake sympathy or honesty?" she countered.
"Can't I have both?"
Gretchen took my hand into hers, turning my face to look at her. "Last night really upset me, Hawk."
"Me, too," I said, "but I know that's not what you mean."
"Dammit, we need to talk about this," Gretchen said quietly. "I don't like you shutting me out of your life when you're hurting. I don't like you drinking like a fish when life throws you a curve ball, either. Especially with you carrying our baby."
I took a deep breath and reigned in the initial urge to just lash out. "You're right. You don't deserve that. I could just clam up, but I won't. However, I don't feel like talking about it while my head's pounding. Your little demonstration of the pitfalls of getting sloppy drunk was effective, but it doesn't make me feel especially cooperative. So, you're just going to have to be satisfied with talking about this, and some of my concerns, when both of us are in the mood. Maybe tonight?"
She looked at me, her eyes opaque, telling me nothing, but then she nodded. "Tonight. Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. We each get to unload about what we need out of our relationship, and we get to ask questions with a reasonable expectation they'll get answered. Deal?"
I nodded and felt like my head was going to fall off. "Only if I can get rid of this hangover. I'm going to shower."
Gretchen bounced to her feet. "I'll go bring some food back to the room so we can eat in peace."
"I'm not hungry," I grumbled, rising slowly and heading for the bathroom. Stopping in the doorway, I turned to look at my wife. "I love you."
Her smile lit up her face as bright as the dawn outside the window. "I love you, too. Oh, and Ted told Lisa and me that he, um, got you settled in to sleep. Don't worry about it. I'm not upset, and neither is Lisa."
I searched my foggy memories and then it came rushing back to me. His hand between my legs, fingers inside me, and his mouth on mine as I writhed under his touch. I flushed and looked at my feet. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it, but I didn't ask for that."
Gretchen took me into her arms and kissed my cheek. "I know, Hawk. Everyone's okay with it. Besides, I think you needed that reassurance as much as he did." Wrinkling her nose, she pushed me into the bathroom. "Go shower. You smell awful. I'll have something out here to eat when you're done. Take your time."
"I'm not hungry," I repeated. "Just bring me some toast." Then I closed the door behind me and turned the dimmer switch for the lights to its lowest setting.
In the artificial twilight, I showered in the hottest water I could stand, for as long as I could take it, and then climbed out, dried off and sat on the can. The steam made my head feel better. A little.
The knock at the door jarred me awake. I'd apparently dozed while sitting on the toilet. Pulling off some paper, I cleaned myself. "I'll be right out. Hang on."
When I came back into the room, the drapes were only partly closed now and the lights almost dim enough for my eyes. A small table with two chairs had been brought in from somewhere, and there was coffee. I could smell it. The life-giving elixir of the gods. The steam rising from the cups beckoned me closer, like a siren luring sailors to their deaths. The hidden rocks that destroyed the sailors' ships were the various other foods, and they made my stomach do terrible things when I smelled them.
I snared my coffee and retreated from the table to sit on the bed. I gestured to the food. "That's making my stomach flip-flop. I just want toast."
"You need to eat something more substantial than toast, Hawk," Gretchen protested. "You've got to eat for two."
"When my stomach feels up to eating more, I'll eat more. Right now I want coffee, toast, aspirin and water." I sipped the coffee and let the taste and smell of it calm my roiling belly. "When are Ted and Lisa flying out? I'd really like to tell them goodbye and apologize for how I behaved last night."
"Don't I get an apology?" she asked with a harrumph, one hand firmly planted on her hip. "They have an early afternoon flight so I agreed to have you presentable by nine. That gives us about half an hour for me to eat and for you to absorb something." She took a small plate and put some toast on it, with grape jelly spread on it.
"What if I don't want anything on my toast?" I grouched. "Dry is good."
"Eat the toast, Baby. You'll need the energy before we're done today."