I just couldn't stop smiling on my way home. It had been an intense few weeks of work, minor health challenges (a cold, a sunburn, a twisted knee) and now the blazing Arizona sun had finally started blazing after weeks of gorgeous weather. Today seemed like it had dragged on forever - every meeting had gone long and I was finally headed home about 45 minutes later than I'd hoped. Despite that, and despite losing a pound or two between the time it took me to get in my car and when the A/C came on, I was in a terrific mood.
Yes, life had been exhausting lately; yes, I still felt that twinge in my knee; yes, everyone was stressed about the economy; and, yes, it was going to be a long summer. But I was quite pleased with my life at the moment.
As I've written before, I'm engaged. I'm engaged to someone I never in a million years thought would go for a guy like me. I was divorced a few years back, and I have a 8-year old daughter. My fiance was just a friendly person at the office during the breakdown of my 10+ years marriage and not anyone I could EVER imagine myself being with. Actually - she'd made that kinda clear: she liked tall, and robustly atheletic men of color, being biracial (black and mexican) herself. I was average, slightly overweight and, well, white. I was from a small suburban - bordering on rural - town back east while she'd lived her whole life in Phoenix.
But gradually we'd become friends as the mild depression from the last years of my marriage faded and I started taking better care of myself. I lost some weight, changed my geeky hairstyle, got lasik after putting it off for years and started dressing a bit better outside of work. We really hit it off in a big way as friends - shared interests in sports, politics, music and movies really helped, as did the fact that she enjoyed my truly goofy sense of humor.
And I enjoyed her as well. Immensely. She was kind, funny, ireverent, spunky as hell and, yes, gorgeous. Waaaaay out of my league as far as I was concerned - particulatly when you factored in my being 5 years older and having a kid. It got to the point where I caught myself grinning sometimes for no reason other than that I was going to see her at the office.
But, one magical, thrilling, intense night, it all changed. I asked if I could put my arm around her and was totally delighted and shocked when she said yes. Kisses followed, then we were in bed, kissing the back of her neck as my hand trailed down over her stomach and... No, I'll save that story for another time.
I really thought there'd be obstacles - my family, her family, my daughter, her pickiness in men... but there weren't. We took our time with things but after a year of bliss I proposed - partially at my daughter's insistence! And I was so excited when she said yes I had to hold back to stop from exploding in a fit of happiness.
Tonight, we were heading over to our selected venue for the wedding to finalize the wedding date. It had taken a while to find the right place, but finally we ended up at almost the first place we'd seen. I was feeling bubbly, almost tipsy despite not having a drink. As far as I was concerned, I'd marry her tomorrow. No nerves at all.
