Fifty And Fabulous

It's Saturday, the last week of August, and basically the end of summer vacation. It's a cool breezy beach like day.

My name is Anne living in Santa Monica, California.

We have a nice life in Southern California, gluttonized by good weather most of the year, but plagued by freeways, traffic, rushing from city to city basically dealing with rude people most of the time.

My opinion anyways. What gives me the right to vote? I've lived in Southern California since I was a young child, reared in the Midwest, raised by Midwest parents and Midwest values. I'm a good judge.

That's not what this story is about – it's about today, life today, living the moment today and enjoying today.

My day didn't start out that way. I woke up this morning with my usual list of chores and errands to run amuck.

I was feeling gloomy, lazy, a little depressed with a backache basically feeling sorry for myself. I picked up a book I had set down for several weeks about a woman in her forties, recently divorced, with two children who has a relationship with a man ten years younger. As I became engrossed in my book, I began to relax and fee better.

The house is clean. The picking up can wait till tomorrow. My computer won't connect. My bills can wait to be paid tomorrow.

Never changing into my Saturday sweats and T-shirt, I roll back the covers and plunge into bed still in my pajamas reading my book. This isn't so bad, I think to myself. Goofing off. Taking a day to do what I want to. I haven't done this in years. Why shouldn't I? I have no one to answer to. I'm sick of the world, why take it out on me, the only friend that's here at the moment.

It takes me a while to unwind and relax but its working. I go back and forth reading, piddling around the house.

I go outside and I pick some fresh tomatoes from my garden for spaghetti and Italian sausage.

It's cooking right now. Can you smell it?

Pouring bubble bath and gels into the tub, I let the hot water run a few minutes, lighting a candle. I undress thinking how relaxing this will feel and then maybe I'll ... (you know). I take a wonderful bath and slumber in my suds.

I went back to thinking about the book I was reading about aging. The character in this book (Flirting with Forty by Jane Porter) writes a story about how a woman changes at forty.

Why is it that a woman evolves, as she ages, troubles behind her and finally decides to enjoy life?

I turned fifty this year and it's true. At forty, you decide to be yourself but you still care about what others think. At fifty, you decide to be yourself, and couldn't care less about what people think. After all, everyone else is fixed and obstinate, why not join them?

I don't know what it is about fifty, maybe my attitude, maybe the world is an enlightening experience, maybe just more comfortable in my skin.

I celebrated my fiftieth birthday in Las Vegas this year. Unlike the character in the book I'm reading, I didn't have a rendezvous with a younger man in Vegas; but I did have a few opportunities.

As I was driving home, I asked myself if I would regret 'being the good girl?'... I mean woman.' I have. It would have been a birthday and an event to remember. For some reason that night, I was looking good, alone, single, aloof, wanting to have fun and just existing without a care in the world.

The man I met had a Hawaiian name. I don't even remember what it was now. He was handsome, large, mature, funny, worldly so the age differences between us were not that noticeable or awkward.

Conscientiously, I thought to myself that this guy probably has a different woman every night. At 50, I'm still not okay with loveless sex or getting involved with the kind of man who does.

Hail be to G.......d! Aren't I virtuous?

I have had my share of relationships this year. I stopped a relationship this week. I feel the better for it. I'm not stressed, anxious or worried with that behind me.

I'm 50, after all. I can do what I want.

I went to the grocery store, got a bottle of red wine, and got some bread and a head of lettuce to make a salad. I was going to have a good evening, nobody was going to bother me, and I was going to finish my book after getting a little fresh air. So, of I went.

I had dinner, relaxed, immensely enjoying the solitude and peace of mind. I finished my book, commiserated with the woman in the story and compared it to my life.

Why do we get trapped in our own prisons of the mind? Why does society put the pressure on us to succeed instead of enjoying life more?

It wasn't this way twenty years ago. People had fun then. Or was that because of youth?

I picked up the phone and called the Excalibur in Las Vegas. The receptionist answered.

"Hello, I'm looking for a dealer with a Hawaiian name. He works the craps table. Do you know who I'm talking about?" I asked.

"Well, there's Brandon, Steve, Hilo...." said the receptionist.

"Hilo, that's it. Could you leave him a message for me?"

"Certainly," she said.

"Tell him to call 999-555-1212 in Los Angeles. Tell him Penelope called."

A few hours later, the phone rang.

"Hello," I said.

"Hey, babe, when are you coming to Las Vegas?" Hilo asked.

"I'll be on a plane tomorrow. I'll call you from the airport," I said.

"Ok, 'hot commodity,' see you then!" Hilo ended.

'Hot commodity,' I laughed to myself. That's what he kept calling me my birthday night.

I started packing my bags. I packed a bathing suit and some lingerie. 'I don't think I'll be needing much more than the clothes on my back," I giggled to myself.

The trip to Las Vegas was fast. I called Hilo when I got to the airport.

Before I got my luggage and walked to the curb, he was standing there, more handsome than I had remembered.

"Got to you, huh, baby?" He gave me a big kiss.

"No, but you will," I laughed.

"How've you been?" Hilo asked.

"Fifty and fabulous," smiling profusely

"I told you we were the right ages for each other," he grinned.

"We'll see. Let's go have some fun," I said.

The sex was indeed 'filthy and fabulous,' the best I ever had. There's something to be said about a younger man and a mature woman.

I let loose. I enjoyed myself without any regrets. I was rejuvenated. So what, if I'm fifty.

I think I'll be visiting Las Vegas more often.

Maybe, next month.