Family Is Not Blood

I would like to enter into a bit of a dialogue with the readers of this story series. This is for those of you who took the time to enter a comment, positive or negative, as well as those of you who only look at (but not write) comments. (me 98% of the time)

First off, thank you for sharing what your thoughts. This is a story, like every other story in this website that will have people who like it, and others that do not. Great thing about America, I don't have to like what you like, or you like what I care about.

Many people read these stories for pure escapism. This one was a part of a sub-category that was more reality and people based, less fantasy in a way. I wanted it to be more realistic for how people think and feel. Why people do things is sometimes more important than what they do. I understand that not everyone feels that way.

I wrote this story, all chapters, and submitted it at once. Roll of the dice. What you saw was my original vision. It was great to be 'taken to task' about what the male lead or another character did in a earlier chapter, knowing that the character admitted to it later. I felt great to see people feeling the same way that I did. I tend to have a serious morality in my life. Not everyone does.

I blurred the line in the genre of Romance with a BTB story. I did state that upfront. It was interesting to see people who liked one and disliked the other. I can understand that. The liking and disliking of the story series was very interesting to see. There are other genres that I do not go near. Those genres have no appeal to me, but do appeal to others.

The next major point of contention was the 'Once a cheater, always a cheater' issue. This was very interesting to me on a couple of levels. I may be in my very early 60's, but I remember the late 60's. Part of me is still 22, and 62 at the same time. When I was in my 20's, I was not exclusive in dating my current ( and first and only ) wife of 35 years. We did not talk about it then, but everybody ended up knowing. When I began to realize what I was doing, (something about a confrontation?) I stopped. Never looked back and have not ever been unfaithful in 38 years, nor plan to be. I have found out that this is not usual, but also not unusual.

The bonds that were forming at those premarriage years and early years of our marriage survived and grew. I got a second chance. Never was going to need a third one. Wouldn't matter, never would have gotten it anyway. By then, I realized what I had to loose and gain. The female lead in my story actually lost everything, and with support, rebuilt it and became an adult. The addition of having a child does that to many, but not all people. The immaturity of the author as well as the female lead was 'cured' by a dose of reality.

When I was outlining this story, I looked at the female lead 'falling off the wagon' again. From who the characters were, it would have ended the story or just transferred it to Loving Wives. If we are lucky in life, we get a second chance. There are very few thirds. Second chances need to be earned. The female lead did that. I also wanted people in the story to have success in their striving. Romance and growth and a future was where I really wanted to go, not the utter destruction of Loving Wives. The world needs more hope, less heartache. The support of family and friends is an important point for me. (Hence, the title of the series.)

Another point I've read was on raising a child that was not your own. It really depends on who you are or have become. I have relatives and friends that were divorced and remarried other divorced individuals. Then divorced. Life was not kind to those people. In several cases, the step kids stayed with the ex-step-parent, not the biological parent. An ex-step-father walked his ex-step-daughter down the aisle at her wedding and gave her away. (traditional marriage ceremony)

I had a co-worker who divorced and took the child with him. He and his wife were both white, the child was mixed. Why would he do it? The child was more important than his ego, and the mother was rapidly descending into an emotional self-centered destructive unstable hell of her own choosing. Last I heard, the daughter graduated from college. The father still drives a bus. The mother has gone off the face of the earth. Will everyone do this? No, but there are people like this. The reader may be at a point in their life that they may see this, or not. If you ever get to a point in life where you become a grandparent or the last hope for a child, you will understand.

My point in all of this is that this story was based on parts of people that I had actually known. I tried to stay true to their inner core values. The story will not fit everyone, and that is OK.

My father, Uncles and Aunt lost their mother when my father was 10. I saw how it shaped who they were inside. The male lead lost his mother at 14. It changes your life and how you see and value people. Different experiences do not negate others experiences. I hope to hell that anyone reading this story will never suddenly be in a situation like this. I cannot imagine anything worse, except for adding aids to the mix.

My point in all of this is to think outside of the box. Stories can bring a different view to our lives. Views that we ordinarily would not have seen. The point of including the amnesty for illegals was a prod to the children of relatives that were born here because of it, after these same children were complaining about the current set of illegal immigrants. Remember where you came from.

In the end, this was just a story that I had fun writing. Years of collecting nasty things to do to somebody's car was a hoot. These things were actually done by others from ranging from New York to California. The valve grinding compound in the oil number caused a neighbor bully to wear out 3 engines in the late 60's somewhere on the East Coast. Some self-important New Yorker kept blocking fire a lane at a ski lodge in the northeast got the garlic. There is a god, and sometimes he lets you watch, or in the last case, smell.

On the romance side, I wanted to write a believable rebuilding of a marriage. I have seen it happen with others in real life. It takes months of very dedicated hard work. Rebuilding bonds and in many cases, building bonds the first time. I know of two couples who got remarried to each other. Damn tough to do. The support of others around them was critical.

Writing on the sexual encounters were also interesting. I had the male lead relate his 3-way experiences to his ex-wife in an occasional stilted manner, to fit who he is and what he was comfortable with. He really was not. It was not poor writing on my side. Yes, you can debate that, and I'll probably agree with you. I don't feel I was as successful as I would have liked to be.

There is joy in being sexual, and keeping the spark alive in a marriage. It takes real work to stay romantic and keep a marriage alive. I hope I captured a part of it.

The cheapness and the availability of the tech tools hopefully give food for thought for anyone. The world is different.

And finally, there was a bit of humor in this story. What is life except for laughing at ourselves sometimes.

Thanks to you all for listening to the serious underpinnings of this story.