Family Is Not Blood

After I had completely humiliated my cheating wife and her cheating mother in front of our families and friends, I needed to move on with life. The next two months were hectic for me. I had already updated my driver's license, new bank accounts, changed passwords on so many accounts and changed so many things that a divorced man would do.

Still, I was not going to allow myself to stay home and cry. I decided to get out when ever I could. I forced myself to get out. I visited my sister Carol on a weekend when she had some down time between semesters. She understood what I felt and was supportive of what I had done. I joined a bowling league, just to get out. It was nice to do something mindless with people who did not know what I gone through.

I realized that I was starting out all over again. I wanted to get my own place within 6 months, so I started hitting garage sales to restock. I left all kitchenware and furniture and those things needed to be replaced. All I really took were some things I valued and my clothes. I left her the things she bought for me.

I was able to spend some great time meeting people. While at garage sales, I found a couple of empty nesters that were downsizing. I offered them a hand and they gave me better pots and pans than I had before.

Several weeks after the shower, or the event as I started calling it, I met with Larry and his wife Angelka, and Fred. It took us that amount of time to begin to settle. No one was healed, but everyone was looking much better.

I found out that Larry did some real homework on Paul. He and his friends got into Paul's home and found a long history. I guess that living alone and not inviting people over, you don't feel that you have a need to hide many things. Larry did chuckle at some of the 'hiding' places he discovered things. "A two-bit thief would have easily have had a field day." Larry did find a stash of great information.

Found out Paul was occasionally banging two married women at a time when he could. He kept it on a calendar. Also had another kid with another woman in the far south suburbs, and dumped her immediately. He got $200K in insurance when his wife committed suicide and invested, it is now at $500K. This is the guy who always cried poor mouth and sponged off of others when ever he could.

Larry had contacted the other child's mother. She was also divorced because of Paul. He kept crying poor, but she has been living hand-to-mouth for the past 10 years. She was not blameless, but he was responsible.

"So I sat down with him and talked quietly to Paul. Didn't lay a hand on him, didn't have to. He will be sending a $14K gift each to her and his son for the next 10 years to make up for that. That will be tax free to them and that should help them out quite a bit."

"There will be no problem keeping him in line. I and somebody else have all of Paul's personal and private information, and tax records and his under the table business dealings. I saw that there appeared to be a couple of good ones in there, ones that would require time in our state's hotel for ex-governors that our Federal Prosecutors keep referring our politicians to. I figure had his undying attention and cooperation. This should last at least a couple of years. Restitution, not revenge. There is a difference."

"When I told him about a place he owns in Colorado, he was visibly shaken. There was no paperwork at the house on it. It was hidden pretty well, but I tell you, it pays to have low friends in high places. All of us at this table do not live with money, or for money. But that bastard is going to have to pay.

I was also able to obtain a payment for Cathy's years growing up with Fred. Well, we rounded it off to $250K. Paul paid it in cash to me for Fred before the meeting was over. You know, I've never handled that much physical cash in my life at one time. I figured that he lost about half his visible net worth and maybe a fourth of all he owned that day. Payback is a bitch, and if the gods like you, they let you watch."

"Mike, could you talk with Fred on how to invest this so as there will be no questions. Oh, by the way, I approached Rita with an offer that she took. If she signed the divorce papers right away, they only split what they have in the bank. She keeps her $50K retirement funds. Fred had emptied his when he was laid off and she had cancer. She signs tomorrow at the lawyer's office. It appears we gave a whole lot of business to Shelly's boss. This is what Fred wanted, to close this chapter of his life and start a new one."

"You know, Rita still does not get that she did anything wrong. She just bemoans getting caught, and being broke. Imagine, actually having to live on what you and your daughter make."

"I know what kind of person you are Mike, and I hope that this next bit is OK for you, but I also asked that he pay off all of Cathy's student loans."

I just smiled at him and said, "No, I do not mind at all. It is all beyond me now on one level, and still in my face on another. And she has a child to raise. I do not want that child to suffer. Cathy will take care of herself, but I did the numbers before I left and knew it was going to be real tough for her, even with her mother there. This will really help her. Thank you, I appreciate your caring. Fred, how do you feel about it?"

Fred had been quietly sitting there the whole time. I had noticed the occasional smile, and a tear or two. He looked at me, took a deep breath.

"Do you know she named her child Franciszka? Franciszka Sophia, after my mother. She did not tell me. I ended up hearing it through the grapevine. I've seen her couple of times and the change in living and the child has really done something to her. She has started to grow up. Her mother thinks that Cathy's cheating all these years and having a kid by somebody else was not that bad. And that her own cheating was something minor."

"It is not that way with Cathy. When you went away, I also pulled my support away from her. All she had was her mother to rely on. Her friends were gone, her lover distant and dealing with his own fallout. Some of that $10K that Corey did not steal from her has lasted her these months since the birth. It lasted only because of her will and restraint. She still has some left over, if she can keep it away from her mother. Corey's child support tends to be shaky."

"She has devoted herself to her child. All of her being to that child. Even with all the betrayal and hurt, I am glad that you feel that way toward them. When you married her, I knew you were the better person. I am still proud of you."

A year after the shower, Corey was the victim of a hit-and-run driver. He died instantly. The only suspect was the husband of another married woman that he was having an affair with. No charges were filed. His and Mary's divorce had not yet been finalized, so she inherited what ever he had left. He was always spending money to stroke his ego. He had more uncollectable debts than assets.

A month after Corey died, I got a call from Shelly and Marek to come on over for dinner. Mary was there and wanted to talk with me. She updated me on what has happened. She said that she is doing well. It was rough getting away from Corey, but once that happened, her friends rallied around her, and life kept getting better and better. She thought that my 'movers' taking her from her married apartment to Maria's place solved so many logistical and psychological issues.

"Having Maria around, I knew no one was going to mess with me. It really made the difference. I was even able to put up with the delaying tactics that Corey was using to forestall the divorce just to screw with my head." I just busted out laughing and told her of my first meeting with Maria at this table. We all laughed.

After Corey died and she cleaned out his tiny apartment, she found a couple of her things that were valuable to her, but not to anyone else. They were from her parents when they married. She also found out there was a term life policy that she was the beneficiary. That kept it out of his estate. She received $200K from that. His work traced her down with another policy, $80K, twice his salary.

Mary looked at me. "I know that Corey was the father of that child, but I know that something is not right. I was not expecting any of these funds. I got the $200K because he just forgot to cancel the policy out of spite and get a refund. The work policy was unknown, and I was only entitled to it because the divorce was not finalized. I want to help his child, the child did not do anything wrong and these were funds that I never expected. What do you think Mike?"

I was shocked, and humbled. Here was the wife of a philander, wanting to do something good for the child her shit-of-a-husband had fathered. And SHE was asking what I thought?

"Mary, you are most wonderful upright, honest and whatever other good thing I could come up with, cheated upon spouse that I ever heard of. You would put Mother Teresa to shame. I don't wish ill of Cathy, and definitely not of little Freddie. There is no way I would ever want to do anything to cause them harm, or prevent them from growing. I have been moving my life past her, but I will never block her. If you want to do this, please count me as one of your supporters."

"Mike, you protect others, and I have seen it in who you are and what you do. You were able to use my friends to warn me in advance. You even braved Maria." There was snicker from the other two at the table. "You provided the catalyst that got me off my depressed ass to finally take charge of my life. I began to live again, and have a future. I can never repay you for that, but I have another favor to ask."

"You protect others, but unfortunately, you know Cathy the best, I don't. Also because of what you know in accounting, could you be the administrater of the Trust for Freddie? From what I have heard, you do not even have to show up, just provide the admin oversight on the disbursement of funds. I know if you see or hear of something wrong, you could marshal the resources needed." She looked directly at Shelly and Marek while they nodded.

Talk about a deer in the headlights. Stammering, then slowly I said, "I really do not want to be near Cathy, or even Franciszka, but YOU ARE CORRECT, I don't have to. For you, I will set up the trust and administor it for you and little Freddie."

Mary than shocked us all again. It was going to be an $80K trust and she wanted it dissolved by 22 years. It was to provide enough to help Cathy get by now, and some left over for college if it is possible.

It was over a year after the shower when I got a call from Fred. He sounded very anxious and asked for me to come right on over. He was insistent. I was heading to bed, but I thought that this sounded very important. When I asked what it was about, he said he would explain when I arrived.

Fred met me at the door and said that he was sorry that I have to be here, but he was sure I would understand later. Cathy was sitting at the table looking very distraught with little Freddie in a bassinet on the couch. Fred told me she was in real trouble and feared for her and Freddie's life.

I had not put my eyes on Cathy since the divorce papers were signed nearly a year ago. And I had not seen little Freddie either. I stayed out of her way, and she away from me. People understood my feelings and generally respected them. I needed to heal, grieve, to start my life over again.

That did not mean that I had no knowledge about her at all. I did not ask, but I over heard. I knew that it had been rough for her, but she was really being the best mother she could. A baby, even with both parents, saps all of your energy. She had the additional problems of limited income and more limited support. Her mother was helpful to a point, but that was draining on her too. Cathy look tired and worn, but it was the scared look that worried me. Life in danger?

Fred asked me to please stay and listen to everything, from Cathy and him. That I could make up my mind about what was said after they both were finished. I nodded and sat down. I started listening to Cathy.

"It's been over a year since you moved out and I've done everything that I can for my daughter. You may or not be aware that it has been rough. Before you think anything else, I am not complaining, I'm just telling you about my life." I nodded and changed my posture from defensive to listening. There was a look of relief on her face.

"Thank you." She took a deep breath. "I know I did bad things, but this little girl has been all of my life. She has been where I am when I am not at work. Finding sitters when my mother or I had to work, taking time off for the Doctor visits, walking the halls at night. Everything." Fred nodded in agreement.

"I've met new girlfriends at work and after a few months, was able to share some of my current life with them. There are several new mothers, some married, some not. And there are a couple of young single women. Both groups kept telling me that I needed to get out, for my own and my child's mental health. Even my mother agreed."

"I went out a few times with them for drinks after work and got home by 7 PM." Fred nodded in agreement. Both of them were looking me in the eye as she continued. "I have not been with anyone, not intimate, not on a date, not even talking, nothing. The only time I saw Corey was in a lawyer's office where we negotiated child support."

"With my girl friends from work, I just met this guy at a bar we went to. He chatted me up. Mike, it felt so good to be noticed. I've been a hermit. I got his name, Martin Fredricks, from one of my girl friends that knew him from the bar. We were at O'Flannagans by 6 Corners. I googled his name to find out anything I could. There was nothing that said there would be a problem. I quizzed my girlfriend again and she said that he always appeared to be nice and sincere."

"So I accepted a movie night out. I met him at the multiplex on Harlem. He did not get my address, just a phone number, and I his. I googled that too, but I did not call it. Mike, it was just a movie, two hours, in public. He knew up front that I needed to back home by 9 PM so the baby sitter could be home in time."

"Mike, I really don't trust people with little Freddie. When I started having sitters, I did not trust them and I talked about it with Dad".

When she said Dad, I was shocked. He was not her real father, but something that Uncle Stan said rushed back to me. Family is not about blood, it is about supporting each other. Just the three of us sitting down here was showing that healing had happened with these two, and it did not happen with me.

She went on, "Dad made a suggestion for a nanny cam and called your Uncle Stan and he called Bill. The two of them with Dad here, showed up at the apartment when Mom was not at home. When he and Bill brought over the set up, I saw it and cried."

"It was just another reminder of how I had screwed up a couple of other lives besides my own. Dad and your uncle shed a tear too, but they were working hard to not let me see. I just wailed as Bill set up the webcams in the living room, kitchen and Little Freddie's room."

"He showed me how to access it from an old laptop that he gave me. He also warned me to review each baby sitting session in its entirety to be sure that little Freddie was safe. The three of them said that they were around if I needed help. All I had to do was call. I did not tell mom about it, she still does not know. I was not going to share anything recorded. I also did not want her to be freaked out."

She paused a second and continued, "I always thought that I was so smart. I was careful and didn't give a shit about anyone else. I had my fun, I was able to be a naughty girl and thought that I was in control of my life. I never realized that the support you unconditionally gave me, the support Dad and all the others gave, was why I felt on top of the world."

"Instead, I took from you both everything I wanted, what I felt entitled to, and gave you back so little but grief and heartache. And now, dad is called you back to help this broken pony get her ass out of deep trouble."

I never expected her to really be honest with me, I never expected her to apologize, and she did. I am sure it showed in my face. I had to change the subject real quick.

"Let's do business first. What is the problem? I guessing that I need to see what was recorded. I need to see who you are talking about."

She brought up the old laptop and selected out the nanny cam file. She jumped to the part where the baby sitter answered the door when she arrived home. No more than 2 minutes went by after the sitter left at 9 PM and the doorbell rang. We all would have guessed that the baby sitter left something. Cathy unlocked the door without looking.

The guy she went to the movies with, now known as Roger Tackery busted right in. Cathy looked visibly shocked on the screen. "Mike, I did not give out my address, I met him at the Cineplex. Look at him barging in."

He was being verbally aggressive about why she did not stay with him after the movie. She was doing her best to fend him off and get him out. Then he slapped her. She looked scared and in deep trouble. He was yelling at her that she was a bitch and leading him on. His smile got bigger the more scared she looked.

Finally, the neighbor's husband pounded on her door. Rodger shut up and held his hand over her mouth. The neighbor's husband was yelling loudly at the closed door "You'd better knock it off. If you and that fucking rugby team make any more noise on Tuesday nights like you always do, I'm gonna call the cops." Then he said, "Fuck it, I'm going to do that anyway. I've had enough of your shit."

Rodger dropped her and ran to the back door telling her that this was not going to be the end of this. The next scene was the neighbor and her husband were knocking like mad to get in, asking if she was ok in most worried and soothing voices. In the talking that happened after that, the neighbor's wife said that she saw a man leave the back door alone.

She and her husband had been on their cells with one another the entire time. He said that no one came out the front, but was just about to body block the front door when Cathy answered. The neighbor was holding a stun gun, her husband had a 2 by 4. The police had been called at the start, but arrived 10 minutes after the call went out.

Fred said, "I talked with the neighbors. They have been looking after Cathy, and when they heard that man, they knew something was really bad. Cathy called me immediately. That is when I took her and Freddie here and called you. Can you help us? What can we do? I would have asked Larry, but he is out of town on a cruise."

"Fred, can you get Larry's target pistol and his stun gun. I know he has them at his house, but I don't know where he hides them. Carry them at all times, even the bathroom. Cathy, I remember that Larry showed you how to shoot the stun gun. Can you do it again?" Cathy nodded yes. "Cathy and Fred, call work and ask for a few days off. If they give you grief, call me. Get a hold of your mother right away and tell her to stay away from the apartment. Are there any valuables there? Do you need anything for Franciszka? I will get the valuables and hold them."

Fred answered for Cathy. "No valuables there, and we have enough supplies for Freddie." Then I said that I need pictures of that guy, I have to find out who he is. That is when Cathy told me to take the laptop. "I have to make some calls tonight and tomorrow morning. I'll call you when get some information."

"I am going to be around your house for a couple of hours. Fred, I'll text you so you will know and not be worried. Do not answer the door unless you get a cell call from someone you know well. Cathy, I will drive your car away, better yet, I'll get it 'repossessed' by a friend of mine for 'non-payment' of the note tomorrow. It will be safe. That will put him off the track."