Exit Interview
An exit interview is essential to improving company policy and culture. I remember hearing this in college and it got me thinking. If an exit interview helps to improve a company's culture and employee retention, could it possibly help with personal growth and development? What if I had the opportunity to do an exit interview with a former girlfriend?
Ever since I started dating I have had terrible luck finding and keeping girlfriends. I seemed to have short term relationships when what I really wanted to settle down into a long term relationship. They mostly ended badly and none ended at my behest.
My most recent and longest relationship was with a wonderful young woman named Lauren. We were together for a year before she moved me from the status of romantic interest to a place in the friend zone. That said, she was indeed a good friend. It took me a good four months to stop pining for her. Two months after that we had the following conversation.
"Lauren, this may sound crazy but as my former girlfriend would you be willing to have an exit interview?"
"You mean as if I was leaving a job?"
"Yes, I am hoping that it would really help me answer some questions."
"Sure Greg, should we do it over a coffee or is this a conversation better had in private over a bottle of my favourite wine?" She gave me that amazing smile that could make me do anything for her. "My place or yours?"
"We are only friends remember!" Her 100 watt smile dimmed by half.
"Of course, just yanking your chain Lauren. Let's meet at my place at 7 pm we'll have pizza and wine."
She agreed. I bought two bottles of her favourite wine and bought the fixings for the pizza. If she was going to help me she deserved the personal touch so a custom baked pizza it was.
I made the dough, let it rise and kneaded it till it was perfect. I got it on the pizza stone timed to be ready at 7:30 pm giving us time to have a glass of wine and settle in.
Lauren arrived punctually at 7 pm. She was dressed in an off the shoulder top and black yoga pants. She was very fit and she was very comfortable in her own skin. It was a good look on her and I approved heartily. I had wondered how she might dress this evening and she had dressed appropriately, fetching but not slutty. The off the shoulder top revealed her beautiful shoulders and luminous skin tone.
We sat on the couch together and I poured two glasses of wine.
"To life, to love and to understanding." I toasted. We touched glasses and sipped the wonderful wine.
"What is that divine smell?" Lauren asked.
"That is our pizza cooking in the oven."
"You are kidding? Real homemade pizza? Holy crap you must have ulterior motives. Nobody ever cooks for me!"
"No ulterior motives. I just appreciate you helping me tonight. Pizza should be ready in five. Let's finish this glass of wine then we can eat."
The pizza was fabulous if I do say so myself and Lauren agreed. We poured more wine then retired to the living room. We sat in chairs across from each other so eye contact could be maintained.
"Lauren, the best thing that you can do for me is to be brutally honest. Don't be afraid to hurt me or my feelings. In fact if you haven't hurt me by the end of this evening I will be greatly disappointed.
I have had a dismal record when it comes to dating. I have had my heart broken a million ways. I need to know what it is about me that women find so repulsive that they want to ditch me after a short time. Let me start with a direct question; why did you stop thinking about me romantically and put me in the friend zone?"
Lauren was silent and looked down at the floor. It was some time before she raised her head and looked me in the eye and spoke.
"I fell in love with you very early. You are a very lovable man. You are extremely intentional and intense. When you were with me you were really with me. You wanted to be there for me 24/7. Many women say that is what they want but in truth...well...sometimes it is just too much. I thought that it was based on your insecurities, I still do. I thought that if I assured you that I was was happy in our relationship you would become more secure. Unfortunately the more I assured you the more you needed. It took me a year before I just couldn't handle the intensity of your smothering me in devotion. Does that make sense?"
"I thought that most women wanted more attention and devotion from their boyfriends not less. I kept hearing stories about absentee lovers. I thought that my girlfriends were leaving me because I wasn't giving them enough attention so I poured it on. Are you now telling me that it might have been too much attention?"