Eventualities: Allison

If there is a worse day than New Years Eve to have an emergency at home, I don't know what it is. The entire New Years weekend is fondly referred to by us working professionals as 'amateur night'. Everyone drinks too much, and too many folks think they are ok enough to drive only to end up killing themselves or others in record numbers. Even the ones that stay at home end up playing with their firearms and shooting them up in the air, forgetting that what goes up must indeed come down. Or the folks that miss while shooting up in the air part and accidentally shoot themselves, their spouses or their dog instead. This jolliness means that an EMS Tech

never

gets that night off, we all work, non-stop.

Now, even if I had to quit right on the spot, I needed a few hours to go home.

It almost came down that. I didn't like my new boss, Captain Rowlins, particularly, not compared to the great first boss I'd had but he was a reasonable man (and smart enough to pick me out of the hundreds of other junior EMTs to improve the rankings for his Station (when I arrived we were ranked #97 of out #113 for overall quality of service, when I left some two years later we were ranked #18).

Learning that I was resolved to go home that afternoon regardless of the circumstances, he thought for a moment and said, "That scratch on your arm looks like it needs a stitch or two. Have you had it looked at? I didn't think so, go get someone at the hospital to look at it. That will take awhile with the New Years crush, but just be back by tomorrow morning -- some folks will need a breather by then."

Amazingly, there was no way he could give me the time off, so he instead created a valid cause for a non-existent injury (the minor scratch referred to had barely broken the skin and had already been treated). I think I made it home in record time, barely stopping for lights or traffic… but Allison was not at home, and I didn't dare yet go to where I expected to find her.

I took the long way around the complex and walked up the stairs to Tiny's 2nd floor apartment. He opened the door before I could even knock. "They aren't there," he said, "but I think they'll be back shortly. I have to leave for awhile, you can stay here and wait." He turned to leave but added as he walked out the door, "I have my bird watching binoculars on the table there if you want to watch with those… I've noticed that you can see over the fence and into Willis's place real well from here." I think he wanted to say more, much more, but finished with "Don't do anything,

anything

at all until I get back, ok?" I nodded and he left.

Tiny was right, with the binoculars there was a clear view over the fence and to the patio door window, the blinds were shut at the moment but if they opened, even a little, I could get a view into the bedroom area. This is what I desperately needed to know, so I settled in for a long wait. If nothing else, military life teaches you how to 'hurry up and wait'.

I was rewarded about forty-five minutes later by seeing Allison and Willis returning from the parking lot but to my surprise they just exchanged farewells (no physical contact) and he entered his apartment (with what looked like a case of liquor) alone. Allison walked to our apartment but, to my surprise, didn't walk up our stairs. Instead she walked around to the right side of the building and just a bit out of my line of sight. I threw myself out the door, nearly tumbled down the stairs in my haste and moved around to the side of Tiny's building to give a clear view down to mine. Allison was nowhere in sight, which was impossible because there was nothing else out that direction… except our small storage shed.

Each building has some small 6x6 locked storage sheds along the side, one for each tenant's use. We never used ours, we just didn't have enough stuff and as far as I knew it was empty. Except, I remembered now, Allison was always bringing in holiday decorations in and out of the apartment. Since at least Halloween and it certainly would have had a lot of empty Christmas tree or decorations boxes that I don't remember seeing in any closet. She must have been storing things there… and I had never thought to search that shed for alcohol, I had forgotten we had it entirely!

A few minutes later a shed door opened (ours) and Allison came out. In the nick of time I had dived behind a bush to remain unseen. She walked around the front and up the stairs into our Apartment. I checked my key ring and, as I thought, I didn't have a key to the shed. Allison had the only one it seemed. But Tiny, as the de facto Apartment Manager, would certainly have one and, searching through the desk where he kept everything for the complex, I found a ring of keys labeled "Storage," and I found a key with our apartment number engraved on it. Moving quickly, but taking the unseen long way around, I got to the shed and opened the door, there I discovered Allison's secret hiding place.

I found several liquor bottles, some empty, some full and one recently partially drunk from. On top of the Christmas tree box was a bottle of mouthwash and a small spray bottle marked "No Booze-Breath," or something like that. Here was her secret life, in all of its sordidness. At some point the urge to drink had just been too strong for her. She had weakened and given in to her thirst. Fearing discovery, and the possible ruin of our relationship, she had tried to keep this secret well hidden from me. I was furious, but prepared to deal with this. This much at least I could handle. I resolved that this time she

must

go to the AA meetings. She had been to a few before but hadn't enjoyed them. She would only attend when I forced her to go and in the afterglow of a particularly pleasant evening of sex a few weeks after our return from vacation I had agreed that she didn't have to go to AA if she wasn't getting anything worthwhile from them. Bad mistake of stupidity for me! No More!

I relocked the Shed and went back to Tiny's and started to think about our options and I almost missed the sight of Allison leaving the house a few minutes later as she again returning to the shed. This circuit continued for next two hours as she make at least four trips to and from her hidden stash, each trip it seemed to me she was a little more unsteady on her feet. My mental list of the promises she had made to me, and now broken, was growing by the minute causing my anger to grow. More than once I resolved to leave Tiny's and have it out with her -- but I remembered Tiny's admonition to stay until he returned. Something also told me I was missing a last piece to the puzzle and I resolved to wait and watch for it. It was not much longer in coming.

Just before it became too dark to clearly see what was happening, Willis emerged from his apartment and walked over towards mine, I soon lost him to the growing gloom and as he walked behind his building. I debated haring off after him to see for sure if he was going to Allison's and my apartment, but at the last moment decided to remain put at Tiny's and wait. I didn't have to wait long. A few minutes later, out of the darkness, Allison walked up with Willis (already a little unsteady on her feet) and together they went into his apartment.

Yep, things were now much worse. My wounded bandaged heart now felt re-broken all over again and was perhaps held in place by only one remaining stitch. Any sense of hope I had recently felt was now gone. I watched, waiting to see if the patio blinds or door would be opened so I can see for myself the worst and be done with it. Unfortunately, I didn't have too long to wait.

Around 9 p.m. guests started to show up at Willis's door, Allison admitted some of the first few arrivals (still fully dressed, thank God), and I began to hope that perhaps nothing untoward would happen this time. My hopes began to diminish as the sounds of partying grew louder and the arrival of even more guests of extremely unsavory appearance. Willis had been playing lately at being a big shot biker according to Tiny, and it looked like he had invited a bunch of scooter trash to his party. One came bearing a large keg and soon the noise level grew even louder as everyone was obviously starting to drink heavyly. I was going nuts imagining the worst but unable to see much if anything happening, when my wishes were granted and someone opened the bedroom patio door to have a smoke outside. Now standing up I could see well about ½ of the bedroom, and if I crouched down at an angle I could see the doorway from the bedroom into the living room/kitchen. At last I could pretty well see what was happening inside!

I only saw Allison briefly a few times and then just for a few seconds. Always with a glass in hand and she now appear to be barely able to stand. About 10:30 quite a few of the guys had congregated in the bedroom and appeared to be enjoying a porno video. Allison appeared in the doorway, and seemed to laugh at the guys watching the video until a hand appeared from behind her and cupped one of her breasts. She playfully removed the hand, but didn't resist when someone appeared to start kissing her neck (it's always been one of the more sensitive spots on her body). She then turned around and appeared to kiss someone still in the living room as the unseen kisser's hands caressed over her back and ass, his right hand plainly fondling her left breast first over her shirt and then finally underneath it.

Very unsteadily she eventually broke off the kiss to enter the bedroom area where the bathroom was (part of the room I could not see any angle into). She remained unseen by me there for some time, but emerged to sit on the edge of the bed, appearing to watch the video. The five or six men in the room took little time to pull Allison (unresisting) closer towards them and they began to kiss and caress her. Within five minutes she was topless on her back deeply kissing two men, while two other men each sucked on her breasts. A fifth guy was removing her shoes and then her skirt. All too soon she was totally nude and the fifth man (whom I now recognized as being Willis), had spread her legs and begun cunnilingus on her. The two men who had been kissing her stopped to undress themselves but a new arrival appeared who put his waiting cock in her mouth, which she began to enthusiastically (if drunkenly) suck. From this point the party really began in earnest.

By midnight the patio door and blinds had been pulled wide open (it wasn't particularly cold for New Years Eve in Texas) as the orgy participants became exerted and overheated but I no longer cared much to see what was happening in that bedroom. I had seen

far

too much already. If anyone at that party had not enjoyed the sweet charms of my would-be fiancée Allison, it was certainly not by oversight. Newcomers kept arriving and some earlier guests, now sated left, but the party seemed to still be in full swing by 1:30AM when Tiny returned. I was pretty much done with watching and cataloging the events of the evening by 1 a.m., when an obvious biker couple arrived at the party and the woman immediately stripped down and joined Allison on the bed.

Allison had never admitted to having a previous lesbian experience (even in college), but it was clear to me now that she had some prior experience with this sort of thing as soon they were in a ferocious 69 while various male partners fucked each of them. Allison was clearly drunk off of her well-fucked ass and had to be almost carried several times to the bathroom to pee, but was soon returned again to the orgy to once again be used as the men desired. At no point did she say or signal "No" or even signal that she had had enough. I think she had even passed out on a few occasions but was revived and returned to sexual service. It was not lovemaking, this was pure animal fucking, 'using' her as if she were an appliance -- and she seemed to enjoy every moment of it.

**********

The first thing Tiny asked when he returned was, "What do you want to do?" The problem was I just didn't know. The last stitch holding my heart together had broken and I saw no way that it could be repaired.

Allison and I were through. All that remained was the packing and there wasn't even too much of that. Tiny helped me get my clothes packed and, looking around the apartment, I saw that there really wasn't much else that I wanted or desired to keep. I put my bags in my car and, as an afterthought, went back into the shed to get the bottle of mouthwash and the breath spray.

"Trust me on this one Tiny," I said, "No, I won't start any trouble tonight but I think I need to do this at the very least." I then walked over to Willis's and knocked on the door. Willis answered the door himself this time, wearing only a pair of shorts.

"Hey bud," I said, "Do me a favor and give these to Allison in the morning, if she sobers up -- she will want them. She need not bother to use them on my account anymore, I won't be at home. That's your problem now and good luck with dealing with her!" With a cheery smile and a wave I walked off.

It was petty, but it did beat busting all of his teeth and getting arrested for assault. I did hug Tiny goodbye; we then shook hands, and said we'd keep in touch and I moved out for good and moved onwards. Well, at least onwards with a new life of loneliness.

I tried very hard not to look back as I drove away… but I did. Twice.

*************

The next year seemed to alternately speed by and slow to a dead crawl. I threw myself into my work and my studies. I was forced to change tiny apartments and telephone numbers every few months as someone at the station would weaken and gave out either my current address or hone number to Allison. Tiny swore he'd, "Never given it to no one," (hmmm, there's a double-negative there…).

Tiny and I did lunch weekly at first while the dust was settling, then monthly and finally just about every six months or so. Soon after I left Allison she had moved her clothes into Willis's place, but they were far from a happy couple. Soon she moved out of the complex entirely and right into an apartment that I had just vacated because Allison had following me home from the fire station one morning.

Her late night drunken phone calls begging for forgiveness became infamous 'Tales of Legend' at the Fire Station. I requested a transfer, but realistically knew I had no chance whatsoever in getting one. I worked longer, more irregular hours and usually managed to avoid her camping out, waiting for me outside the station. Finally, the District Fire Chief and 2 Police cars convinced her to never show up there again (they supposedly threatened to both arrest her for stalking and to fire me) -- neither event had any likelihood of ever really happening of course, but it did finally scare her off from following me. Supposedly it was the District Fire Chief himself who was handling the book for the bets on when I'd break down and take her back.

After about six months her calls dwindled to virtually nothing. I didn't know whether to be happy at this or sad that she finally may have moved onwards herself. I missed her. Badly. I knew I couldn't live with her as an alcoholic whose actions regularly became utterly irresponsible after heavy drinking, but I still wasn't sure myself how I was going to live my life without her. Even as time passed, the hole in my heart never refilled and the wound refused to scab up, let alone begin to heal over.

There were many, many lonely nights where, if Allison had phoned me, I would have forgiven her everything and taken her back at once without a second thought.

**********

I did receive several cryptic stories from Tiny over that next year, the oddest concerning Willis. I had not forgotten Willis at all, and my anger still burned deeply for some sort of revenge against him. Tiny counseled patience, "I know some things that you don't… and that you don't ever want to know. Willis is about to get what's coming to him and you don't want to be anywhere nearby. He's angered way more people than just you or me. Trust me." I did, so I waited and in a few months he suddenly disappeared forever. The most Tiny would say was that Willis had burned someone important in the Banditos (probably the premier Texas Outlaw Motorcycle gang then), and was 'made an example of'. More than that he would not say, but I got the very definite impression that no one would ever be seeing Willis alive again, or probably most of his separate body parts either. No loss.

Concerning Allison, Tiny also had little to say. (Sometimes getting information out of Tiny is worse than pulling teeth!) I knew for pretty sure, that through his various connections both legal and extra-legal, Tiny was keeping tabs on her. A watchful eye far in the distance but he had made his decision to stay completely out of her life, to keep the two of us apart and separate. Once, when I was at a bit low point after the next New Years holidays, I asked him pointedly where she was and what she was doing. Tiny avoided the questions repeatedly until he saw that I was serious and would persist.

"You don't really want to know," he said. "You really don't. She drinks all the time now, too drunk to hold any real job… you know what that means don't you?" I was afraid that I did. That really only left three options as I could figure them, she was either stripping, working the streets (or on her back) or has a 'Sugar Daddy' willing to put up with her (again working on her back). I think a little more of the remaining part of my heart died upon hearing that grim news.

"You can't rescue her, it just won't work." He said sadly, "She has to

want

to stop drinking, and it has to come from inside of her first or no help from anybody is ever going to be of any use at all." Tiny would say no more but did agree to tell me the moment that there was any change in her condition to where she could be helped.

Oh, I had passed my EMT-P exams with ease (2nd highest test scores ever recorded in the HFD), but it gave me little pleasure or satisfaction. I continued to throw myself into my work and began the laborious process towards gaining my Instructors certification but even that was just to remain busy and focused upon something, anything. It was in this mood that I bought my first house.

************

Having an oddball schedule where you work or are on-call many days in a row and then are home for much the same, led to my having a lot of empty time on my hands, time in which I was desperately sad and lonely and full of regrets. The things I had done wrong and things that I did not do but should have done, flogged at me, especially in those late hours alone in my small apartment.

I began to consider buying a house, a small one with lots of problems to keep me busy on my off-days and too tired later at night to brood over what was and what could have been. Money was no problem, I was one of the youngest EMT-P's in the department and was clearly one of their blooming stars. I got regular bonuses and all of the paid overtime I wished to work (and in those days I worked every hour I could get). I soon found just the perfect fixer upper home in an 'improving' neighborhood in the Montrose area, reasonably close to my fire station but central enough so that I could relocate easily in the future. I had enough fun with the remodeling project that when the house next door came up for sale the following year I mortgaged myself to the hilt, fixed it up and flipped it for a profit of over $100,000! Soon this became my full-time occupation on my EMS off days, each year buying or selling one or two houses, but keeping a few of the ones that I was most especially proud of the work I had done. I rented these out, usually to acquaintances in the Fire Department, HPD or hospital staff in the Medical Center. The work was fulfilling, and it did the job of keeping me too busy to mourn the fact that I had absolutely no romantic or social life whatsoever.