Eva

Hi readers. Just wanted to let you know this chapter goes through about six years of Eva and Jon's life together. Also, there isn't a lot of sexual content, though there is some. This is more about telling their story. Some bad things happen, but mostly great things take place as they head towards the end of their 20s and beyond.

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Connor Reed Glazer-Grossman. Dr. Thomas was right, it was a mouthful. His first name was in memory of my mom, Carol, and his middle name was for Eva's grandmother, Ruth, who died when Eva was 15. They had been very close. And he had both our last names, like we had done for each other. In practical situations, he'd be Connor Reed Grossman.

The first days of his life, Eva was a very sick woman. She was terribly weak and was only allowed out of bed to help feed Connor. There was even doubt that she'd be allowed to go home in time for his Bris, a Jewish religious ceremony, ritual circumcision, that should take place 8 days after birth. We could delay it if necessary and we talked about it.

"Honey, let's just postpone a few days. I want you to be able to handle being around everyone. Let's not push it? Please? I know you want it done traditionally, but we can wait a few extra days. And I'm not having it done without you there."

"Oh, you're not doing it without me, that's a guarantee. Not a chance. Let's see what Dr. Thomas says today, ( Saturday the 20th, 4 days after his birth). And they want him released tomorrow. Will his furniture be there?"

"Your dad is at the house now, waiting for the delivery. And your shower will also be postponed until you feel better." It was supposed to be that day, Saturday, because we were so busy finishing up with school.

"Having a baby shower after the baby's been born. I can't do anything right." But she smiled when she said it. She was getting stronger and her color was better. I was starting to feel less worried about her.

Dr. Thomas came in a little later, while Eva was sitting in a chair and feeding our little man. After examining mother and son, and talking to us, the doctor said Connor could come home the next day and Eva could come home with him...IF she stuck to bed rest for the first three or four days. The Bris would have to wait until Friday the 27th, the 10th day after he was born.

"And Eva, you're going to have to take it easy for a couple of months. No running around, doing chores and so on, for at least two months. Maybe three. We'll see how you progress."

She was about to protest but I cut her off. "Not a problem, doctor. I'll cancel my work plans and I'll be around. I'll do the cooking, cleaning, shopping and so on. I'll drive them to their appointments with you and his pediatrician. And my sister will help me out. She's excited about being an aunt."

"All right. But you have to stick to that. Eva, I'm serious. Lot's of rest for the next few months. I don't even want you going to the bathroom for the first two weeks without help."

"Is that really necessary?" my wife asked, frustration filling her voice.

"Yes it is, if you don't want to end up in the emergency room and getting a hysterectomy. I'm totally serious, Eva. You don't get out of bed without help for the first two weeks at least."

"Don't worry, doctor. She won't. I'll make sure of it."

The doctor left us as Connor finished feeding. She was clearly pissed off at me.

"What do you want to do? End up back in the hospital? Maybe bleed to death? You're such a smart woman; stop being stubborn and silly."

"I know" she said resignedly. "I just....." she started crying. Hard. I took Connor from her and sat next to her while holding our son. I managed to hold her hand.

"Honey, what's wrong? This is a happy time, the happiest of our lives. We have a beautiful, healthy son. Don't be sad."

"Oh, stop trying to make me feel better! Don't you get it? Are you dumb? I screwed everything up! I can't have any more children! One and done! I can't even give us a proper family!" Eva turned away from me and cried into her pillow.

I rang for the nurse and she took Connor back into the nursery. I wasn't sure how to talk to her, so I just went with my instinct. "Eva, listen to me." Gentle, Very gentle. "Please. Nothing that happened is your fault. It's no one's fault. When I saw you right after Connor was born, you were the most beautiful I've ever seen you look. So happy and full of love. Then you turned whiter than a ghost and they pushed me out of the room. I thought.....I actually prayed, to God or whatever might be out there. Because nothing would have been worse than if I lost you. If Connor lost you. And Cammy too. We all need you. We're going to need you for a long, long time. We have such a wonderful family right now. And if some day we want another child, there's always adoption or foster care. There are a lot of children out there that need a loving family. We could do that. There's even that procedure, surrogacy, where you contract with a woman to carry your baby. There are options. And if we decide what we have is enough, that will be fine too. But none of it matters if I don't have you. So I'll help you to the bathroom, I'll wipe your butt if I have to. I'll take you to appointments, I'll cook and I'll clean. Because I really don't want to face the rest of my life without you. I don't have a life without you. You're my Angel."

Eva reached behind her for my hand and I held it. "Do you really mean all that, Bear? All of it?"

"Every single letter of every word. I need you. Connor and Cammy need you. Your parents and your brothers. You've given so much of yourself to all of us. When my mom got sick and after she died, then all the shit with my father.....You held us all together. So please, let me take care of you. Please, honey. Let me wipe your ass." We both laughed, a laugh that made us both feel so much better.

"You're a very silly Papa Bear. Sweet and wonderful, too. Where would I be without you?"

"Binghamton,"

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My wife and son came home the next day. I rented a wheelchair to help her get around and Eva's parents hired a nurse for her during the day, for as long as she needed. It was very sweet of them to do it. Not at all surprising. But very kind and generous.

Her family and Cammy were the only ones there that day, and even her family had to back off a bit for a few days to let Eva rest. The nurse, a friendly middle aged woman named Consuela, took charge like a Master Sargent of both Eva and Connor while she was there during the day, and I, with help from Cammy, took over at night. Eva was feeling a little better every day but still, she could only get out of bed to go to the bathroom or sit in the wheelchair for short periods. We pushed the Bris back one more day, to Saturday, to give her a little more time. But Saturday morning it was, 12 days after his birth.

Tuesday evening, the phone rang and I answered it. After saying hello twice, waiting to see if someone would answer, I was just about to hang up when I heard a female voice say "Jon, hi, it's Adrienne. How are you doing?"

I was stunned for a moment; it had been years since we talked, since before Eva and I got married. "Hey Adrienne. It's great to hear your voice. How are you?"

"I'm fine, a lot better than when we last spoke. I wanted to congratulate you and Eva on the birth of your son...Connor, right?"

"Connor Reed. A beautiful boy. I'm in love with him." Eva called out to me, wanting to know who was calling and I indicated through silent hand and mouth signals that it was Adrienne. She looked surprised but then indicated I should keep talking to her.

"Jon, I never got in touch when your mother died. I can't tell you how sorry I am for that and for her loss. I loved your mom a lot."

Bringing up my mom, even after over three years, was painful, but not nearly to the degree it used to be, It was more of an ache than a deep pain. "Thanks, Ade, I appreciate that. And if you're about to apologize for anything else, don't. We're cool. The past is the past."

"Thanks, Jon. I understand Camilla is living with you? How's it working out? How are things with your father?"

I explained that we didn't know how my father was doing, telling her about when we saw him last, but things with Cammy were great. Then a few other things about her life, therapy and school. She was a year behind us but doing very well, majoring in math. And she met a man, Justin, who was majoring in the history of Catholicism. She said she liked him a lot but they were taking things slow.

We had a pause and I decided to ask. "Ade, would you like to come to the Bris on Friday with your parents? You could bring Justin; we'd love to meet him."

"Are you sure? Will that be alright with Eva?"

"If you want to hold on I can ask. But I'm pretty sure she'd like to see you, to see how well you're doing. Please come. It would mean a lot to me."

She thought it over and then she said she'd love to come. I looked forward to it and Eva was fine when I told her. She has an amazingly warm and loving and forgiving heart.

Saturday morning platters were delivered, deli and smoked fish, Jewish Soul Food, with breads and bagels and cream cheeses and pastries. A coffee and soft drink station. Enough for over 100 people at least and all paid for by my aunt and uncle and various cousins. It was a good thing they ordered so much, because the house was filled with friends and relatives. Friends of ours, friends of both our parents. Cousins on both sides. At least 75 showed up. Thankfully the weather was lovely that day, so people could stand and sit out in the backyard. We needed the room.

When Eva was dressed with the help of Consuela, I sat on the bed next to her in the chair. "So? Are you ready for your fan club? Everyone's here to see you."

"No, they're here to see this one" she said as she cradled Conner in her arms. "I'm just glad to see them all. I'm glad to be alive to see everyone." She smiled, a big, warm loving smile. It did my heart a lot of good to see her so happy and feeling stronger every day.

Cammy knocked...no, pounded...on our door. We told her to come in and she said "Hey you two, or three! Everyone is ready! The Mohel is ready ( A Mohel, pronounced MOY-el, is the person who performs the circumcision in accordance with Jewish law and custom). "And there's a surprise outside!"

"A surprise? For us?" I looked questioning at Eva.

She was just as curious. "A surprise. Let's see our surprise."

I wheeled her out into the living room and everyone cheered and made a huge fuss over our boy. He was calm because he just ate but there were lot's of people to love him. And as we got through the throng of friends and relatives, I saw my dad, still looking rough around the edges, but he was there for his grandson. I hugged him tight along with Cammy, all three of us crying. And he didn't smell of alcohol.

"Dad, I'm so glad you're here. So glad. Come over here and meet your grandson, Connor Reed." His hands shook a little; there was no question of letting him hold his grandson, unfortunately. But he could touch him and kiss him while I held him.

"Hey, little one" dad said with wonder as he lightly touched Connor's head. "You're so beautiful! He looks just like you did, Jon. Just like you. Again, the three of us cried, along with Eva. "Hi Eva. How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good, Abe. Better every day."

"You did a great job, giving us all this wonderful gift." Dad held her hand and I could barely keep from falling to pieces.

"Thank you. Come sit with us over there, Abe." We all sat together with Eva's family and everyone else circled around. The Mohel introduced himself and He spoke about the covenant between God and Abraham, the reason for the Bris, as well as giving Connor his Hebrew names. The Mohel said some prayers as Harold held his grandson and then the hard part, watching as he snipped off the foreskin. Connor cried, he was given a couple of drops of wine, and then he was given his Jewish names....Chaim Reuven. As I've said, Eva and I are not believers, but there was something so touching about that moment. We weren't religious, but we did keep something of a Jewish home. It just was the right thing to do.

Cammy then held her nephew, so natural with him already. I think she loved him as much as Eva and I did. Phyllis of course had to have her turn. Will and Walt had time a little later. It was a real family affair.

I sat with dad and Cammy. We had to talk; we had to know what dad planned to do. Cammy let him hug her as she asked him that. What were his plans?

"Jon, Camilla, it took all my will to not drink the last two days after Harold came and told me. I don't think I can keep doing this."

"So that's it? You come back to us for a few hours and then you're going to go back to drinking your life away? Dad, think about this. Forget all the bitter words we fired at each other. You're sober two days. Try to make it three. One day at a time. That's what the program says. Don't you want to be part of your family again? You have a grandson to live for, as well as Cammy and me. And Eva. She's as much a part of us as if she had our blood."

"Jon. I love you all, I really do. But I just can't do it. I can't."

His mind was made up. He wanted to be gone. Cammy pulled away from him and said "Dad, why did you come? Why did you do this, give us hope and then leave again? If you can't try, if you can't even give it a shot, why don't you just leave now?" She wasn't crying, she wasn't shouting. She was more like a disapproving parent letting her child know he let her down. "This could have been a great day. It was. One of the best. And you're ruining it. Just leave us, dad. If you don't have the guts to try." She got up and walked away, to mingle with guests, get something to eat, to never see her father again.

"What she said, dad. Cammy is sharp. And she's right. If you haven't got the guts to try, you should leave. If you need a ride..."

"No, I have my car." He got up. He was like a stranger to me. I felt almost no love for him. I couldn't. Some people just disappoint you. "I'm sorry Jon."

"Not as sorry as I am. Please, this is a happy occasion. Just leave us."

He left, didn't say goodbye to anyone else, not even Eva or aunt Annette. He just left. We never saw him again, not alive.

I pushed it away. This was a celebration and I wanted to enjoy the day, the people. My wife and son. I picked Connor up from Eva's lap. I kissed his head and whispered "I promise I'll never, ever abandon you. I'll always be your father, I'll always be here for you. For as long as I live." One more kiss, then a big kiss for Eva. "I love you, Mommy." We smiled at each other in our house filled with loving people. It was a great day.

As I was talking to some of Eva's cousins, Adrienne caught my attention. Her hair was different, shorter and cute, and she had put on about 15 pounds, but it was her and she still was an attractive woman. I excused myself from the cousins and before we said a word, Ade and I hugged for at least 30 seconds.

"Ade, I'm so glad you're here! It's great to see you. it's been way too long."

"Same here, Jon. Thank you for inviting us." She turned and a man next to her stuck his hand out. "Jon, this is Justin." He was a little shorter than she was, stocky but not fat, with thick blond hair and very pale skin, with a very friendly face. We talked a couple of minutes, I got good vibes from Justin, and then I said hello to Sandy and Marvin. Then I brought them all over to see Eva and meet Connor.

Ade bent down to kiss Eva's cheek and then after Eva met Justin, the four of them met my little man. They, like everyone else, made a huge deal over him, and then Sandy turned and moved away, crying. Marvin held her and I went to see what was wrong, if she wanted to tell me.

"Jon, we're so happy for you and Eva. It's just a wonderful thing, really. But when we were coming in, your father was leaving. We tried to talk to him, but he said he had to go get a drink. Marvin tried to talk to him, but your father told him he couldn't talk, he had to leave and he didn't think he'd see any of us again. Your mother was my best friend, Jon. This would break her heart, to see what's become of Abe. I'm so sorry." Marvin kept his arm around her should as he took her aside. She wanted to leave too. She said she was too upset and didn't want to ruin a beautiful occasion for us.

I took her hand and said "Sandy, my dad made his choice. Cammy and I are just pushing him out of our lives unless he decides he want's help. We refused to let him ruin this day. Please don't let him ruin today for you. We're all here as friends, Adrienne and I are together for the first time in a long time. It's a beautiful day. Please stay and enjoy it with us."

Sandy kissed my cheek. "You always were a special young man. Not such a young man now. Your mother would be so happy, so proud of you and Camilla." I was tearing up all over again. Aside from the time with my father, this turned out to be a pretty great day.

After everyone left and everything cleaned up (we'd be eating deli and smoked fish for a week) Eva was exhausted. I got her back in bed and let her take a nap while I looked after Conner. Cammy went with a few friends to hang out so I had time alone with my son. He was sleeping, wrapped in a blanket and cradled in my arms as some Simon and Garfunkle played. "Hey little man. Thank you for bringing one of my oldest friends back into my life. I couldn't have done it without you." I gave him a tiny kiss on his nose and he stirred, opened his eyes and smiled at his daddy before closing his eyes and he went back to sleep. He had a pretty long day as well.

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Over the next few weeks, Eva got stronger. The doctor gave her permission to walk around the house or in the backyard for short periods of time. She gave us exercises to help make her stronger. In the meantime, Cammy and I did almost all the housework, the nurse helped out taking care of Connor during the day, and I did the 2AM feedings, then the 4AM changings. I wanted Eva to get her rest.

The problem was, even with Cammy's help when she could, I was starting to get exhausted. I just wasn't getting much sleep or downtime. So after six weeks, at the beginning of July, Phyllis and Harold agreed to take Connor and Eva for two days so I could get some sleep. Cammy stayed at a friends house and for two glorious days I did almost nothing but sleep and eat. It was what I needed and when my family came home, I was clear of eye and straight of back.

"Thank you, Angel" I said, kissing my wife that night she came home. Then I

kissed and gently held my son, whom I could swear grew in the two days he was away from me. Eva no longer needed the wheelchair as long as she took things easy. She hugged me and kissed my ear, sending a tingle through my body.

"Don't do that, honey. We can't do that yet."

"Wrong. I can't do that yet. But I can do something for my amazing husband."

"Honey, I can wait for you to recover your strength. Really. I appreciate it but it's not necessary."

"Yes it is. You've been so good to me the last six weeks. You needed the rest and now, you need something else. And I want to take care of it for you. If you say no, you'll hurt my feelings." She pouted and she knew damn well that always got to me.

"Well I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings. What do you have in mind?"

"Lean back on the pillows. Prop them up on the headboard. That's it, Bear. Now take your pajamas off." I pulled them down my hips and then down my legs.

"Ok. all ready." I sure was; my cock was more than semi hard. It had been a long time out of necessity. I hadn't even jerked off.