I hated walking home. Everything about the trip always strung a sense of anxiety through me no matter what time it was or if I'd had a decent day or not. Today was worse, I could feel it. The thoughts creeping back up through the fog of the recent work day like little inky worms - reminding me. It was a gnawing in my thought process, a small urging to say something, do something that I knew as a living breathing being I shouldn't do - but it was telling me to. Eyes darting up, I caught a glimpse of the bridge only a half mile away and the idea was there, the subtle promise of release - of no more fatigue, no more work, no more pain.
Clenching my jaw, my eyes shifted away from the distant landmark - the sensation in the pit of my stomach was a deep craving, a yearning to jump. Just to see how it felt, to know if I would survive the inevitable crash into the churning waters, to know if anyone would even see me, would they care? Perhaps my friends would realize I was no longer able to respond to their texts, my mother would finally wish she had called me or my brother would want to play games with me again - wishing they had maybe said goodbye. A knot in my throat forces my eyes back to the approaching location - imagining myself slipping over the protective railing just to see how it felt. I needed to feel something, this time I would - I had to.
As my mind was now preoccupied with deciding that today was the day, I came to a stop at the walk sign, people passing in their cars - headed back to warm homes and busy offices. I had made up my mind, the thought was so inviting and now I was obsessing over the scenarios in which those who knew me would experience. Would James miss me? Would Andy or Itome? None of them had texted me all day, I was something to be forgotten - something they no longer had time for, I had provided the entertainment they were now bored with.
As my mind filled with excuses, making myself angry and sad all at the same time, someone stopped next to me - a sweet-smelling cologne filling my nose. Blinking, I turned to look up at the man next to me. A well-dressed and well-groomed businessman in a black suit and holding an umbrella. I said nothing, only glanced for a moment but his lips moved as if he were speaking to me - his dark brown eyes glancing over to me for just a moment. Reaching up I pulled the right earbud out of my ear and lofted a brow out of curiosity.
"Huh?" I huffed the sound almost too loud but no one seemed to notice.
"Don't you think the bridge idea is a little cliche?" he repeated his words, my gaze fixated on his lips. The question made me pull my chin back, completely awe-struck by why a stranger would even say those words to me let alone that they would be correlated so perfectly with my thoughts.
"Excuse me?" I was surely making myself look like a fool, even more so as the walk sign blinked and he started moving and I skipped to keep up with his long-legged stride.
"The bridge idea," he repeated, dark eyes under the curtain of dark lashes on me again as a slight smirk pulled his lips, "it is very cliche and honestly, a little worrying." His voice was melodic and intoxicating in a way I hadn't expected from a stranger, let alone a well-dressed man approaching walking with me as the sun began its nightly sink into the horizon.
"What do you mean? I.. wasn't doing anything, I am just on my way home," I spoke as if defending myself.
