Her heart's deepest desire was to be loved. She wanted to be loved as much and as deeply as she loved. In her innermost secret places, she was a romantic who believed love could fix anyone, heal anything, tie the tightest bonds and give the most freedom. In fact she attached most of her emotions and awareness to love. Very unhealthy, she knew, however her sense of self worth, her sense of belonging, her fear of abandonment and rejection were tied up in love. She couldn't help believing that love would make everything in her world right and whole.
Except love never came. Lust came, cloaked as love but as soon as his lust was satisfied, he went away and she was left alone again holding something broken, that only love could fix. True love. Yet Mia stumbled through life doing all the things everyone else did and it seemed to her that everyone but her had love in their lives. Everyone but her.
She had married and divorced three times and her mother had argued vehemently about each divorce with her. She would always begin with - 'In my day...' In your day mother, women didn't fix their broken marriages or their broken hearts, they just lived with it because they had no other choice. It was better to get divorced because at least you didn't have to look at the cause of your broken heart, day after day, until death do you part.
Mia thought internet dating would be her salvation. If Mr. Right wasn't here, surely he was somewhere on earth and the internet would be able to bring them together.
She signed up on a couple of dating sites; to her dismay when she put in her location and hit search, the majority of the men close to where she lived had signed up under pseudonyms and blatantly stated on their profiles that they were happily married and only looking for some fun. To Mia that was a contradiction in terms. How could someone be happily married and still be looking for sex with other women on the side? In her mind if you were happily married, you remained faithful to your partner.
After a long time, with no luck, she gave up on dating sites and took one of her friends' advice and did a cooking course. No luck there either. Speed dating yielded no results past the first date either.
It wasn't that Mia wanted too much or perfection or was unyielding. Quite the opposite, she gave in too easily. She had sex on the first date and was totally in love by the second, her friends were divided as to whether that was the right or the wrong thing to do.
It was an ordinary Friday, another weekend loomed and Mia felt like packing a bag and hiding in a bush somewhere. Her friends refused to admit that she was doomed and her mother kept pressuring her that it was time to settle down and have children before she got too old. She thanked God that her father stayed out of it but she would have had to have been blind not to see his obvious joy with his three grandchildren from her brother, Mr. Perfect.
The phone was ringing, startling her out of her oppressive thoughts.
"Mia Kimble." She answered automatically.
"Hey, Sis, it's me." Mia sighed inwardly, for what did Darren need a babysitter this time?
"Yeah, you can bring them over, anytime after seven."
"Ouch, that hurt. I don't want your babysitting services this time, although you make it sound as though that's the only time you hear from me." Mia noted the touch of irritation in her brother's voice.
It is the only time I ever hear from you Darren.
"Sorry. I didn't mean it like it sounded. You know I'm always happy to babysit my nephews."
"Urmm..." He grumped.
"So... What are you and Zelda doing this weekend?"
"Well... it's like this..."
Darren launched into a lengthy explanation about booking some kind of white water adventure which they'd later forgotten about when they accepted an invitation from some senior partner at Darren's law firm (where he was a lowly associate) and decided that hobnobbing with the partners would do more to advance his career in the firm than an orange inflatable in churning waters.
"And you don't want to lose your money." She finished for him.
"Not really, we reserved two places obviously. But a client of Zel's snapped up both reservations two weeks ago and then managed to get dumped by his boyfriend on Monday. So, I figured we can stand losing half the money, you only need to pay the outstanding amount which is half the price when you get there. So, how does it sound?"
Like I'm being used again.
"Let me think about it." Mia said sighing at the same time. She hoped Darren Thick-Skull would get the message.
An hour later, her brother called back and Mia had to bite her lip not to shout at him. She didn't have her own office yet, but when she did...
"Good news." Darren said.
"That's fantastic, I'm glad you found another couple." Mia replied, not sincerely because he was a stingy miser when he wanted to be.
"Not quite. I have found a single woman for you." She could hear the pride of his accomplishment in his voice. She rolled her eyes.
"I'm straight, but thank you for thinking of me."
"Tsk. To go with you."
"Wonderful, it's cheaper for two women then?"
"For God's sake Mia, no. I would sue them if it was."
You couldn't successfully sue a piss-up in a brewery. Mr Tax Attorney.
"Ah, one can always hope. Social development doesn't exactly pull in the big bucks."
"Exactly why you should have sorted out your shit with Greg."
Mia slammed the phone down and then took it off the cradle. An hour later she replaced the phone after she had gathered her things and left the office. On her way down to the car park she took her phone from her purse and turned it on.
She had forgotten about Darren and so she cursed when her phone rang and she saw it was him. She answered with an asinine comment on the tip of her tongue.
"That was uncalled for, I apologize." He said hurriedly, then quickly continued.
"For my sins, you and Julie go, I'll pick up the bill." Darren said trying to sound magnanimous about it.
"Oh, so Julie, whoever she is, is Zelda's friend and you just screwed up, now you're fixing it or you're sleeping on the couch?"
"For your information, I only sleep on the couch... Never mind. Will you go? Please?"
"You're on the couch."
