Early One Mourning

Emirus

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A chance encounter, in a park in an English city, early one morning

Between and old widower and a young man.

I would like to thank the writer who gave me two invaluable suggestions that enabled me to write a better story than it would have otherwise have been.

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The warming rays of the rising sun fell on the elderly man sitting on the park bench and, as he lifted his head the twin streams of tears ran down his cheeks. They clung to his once straight jawline, now sagging with signs of age but, despite being a little bedraggled, with being out all night, he still had a proud look about him.

Out of the corner of his eye, from his right, the old man saw someone jogging up the incline that lead down to the park entrance. He stopped when he got up to the bench and, hands on knees, struggled to regain his breath. When he was able to stand straight he looked towards the old man and, seeing his distress, sat alongside him.

"Is there a problem?" He asked. "Anything I can do?"

"I'm just sitting here reminiscing." The old man offered by way of explanation.

"You must have been here early? It's only 4.30 now."

"I came yesterday evening and must have dozed off. The nights are very warm during the summer, and as you grow older it is much easier to fall asleep." He moved around on the bench, stretching to rid himself of the night's stiffness.

"All night? You've been here all night? Isn't there someone who will be worried about you?" The young man exclaimed.

"I live in a residential home for senior citizens. The staff are great but not very security conscious. They check that we are in our rooms by 8pm and then, barring any fire alarms, they don't check where we are until the following morning." With a smile he said. "If we aren't there for breakfast the next morning they come and check. Then they call the doctor who certifies how long we've been dead." The old man laughed at his joke and the jogger couldn't help but join in.

When they stopped laughing the young man asked. "So you crept out in the middle of the night?"

The old man laughed again. "No. It was 11. It would have been earlier but I was watching a good film on tv." Again the old man smiled at his own little joke.

Despite the laughter the jogger was concerned about this elderly gentleman whom he had just met. Being with him felt as naturally as sitting beside his own grandfather. "My name's Bob. May I ask your name, sir?"

"It's Tom. Tom Finney."

Bob was now realising that although Tom's body might have aged there was nothing wrong with his mind. "How far away is this residential home?"

"About 5 miles."

"5 miles!" Exclaimed Bob. "At that time of night?"

"I come here regularly to think about my wife." Tom sighed and then, after a few seconds, spoke again. "She passed away last year after nearly 50 years together. But I have my memories and they will always be with me."

Bob sat down alongside the old man. "50 years? You were married a long time."

"Almost 50 years. We were born within shouting distance of each other and just weeks separated us. As we grew up we went to the same school and had the same friends. Then her parents moved home when we were 10 years old and I never saw her again. Even though we lived just a few miles apart."

It seemed to Bob that perhaps Tom was thinking about a girl for whom, even then, he had a special feeling.

"Never saw her again until my best friend Mark set me up with a blind date when I was 21. He'd recently begun seeing a girl called Mary who worked in the same office. Mark had mentioned I hadn't got a girlfriend. It was my birthday, and it went from there."

Tom leaned back and gazed at the sky, as if seeing his memory etched in the clouds.

"As we entered the pub Mark indicated two girls and said "the brunette is yours. He introduced me to Mary and then said "Tom this is Helen. Helen meet Tom." Naturally, as with most young men, at that time I was at the height of my stupidity. Helen realised right away who I was, but I had no idea about her."

Tom paused and then continued. "There I stood there not sure what to say. I've never been good with conversation with someone I don't know. Standing in front of me was a young woman, to whom I immediately felt attracted, and who I didn't want to offend by saying the wrong thing."

"So you went through the entire evening not realising she was Helen?" Bob smiled in anticipation of Tom's answer.

"Not the entire evening. The four of us chatted away for about an hour discussing work; films; our tastes in music; where we went to school in our teens and, of course, what we had done since school up to the present."

Tom smiled ruefully. "We were up to the desserts before Helen decided to tell me. By then we had got to where we and lived and the curtain began to rise. Although she didn't let me off the hook right away. She brought up where had everyone gone to school before senior school. Not year 6. We weren't identified by a number back then. Naturally we discovered, to my surprise, we had gone to the same junior school."

"That's when you realised?"

Tom leant back, resting an elbow on the back of the bench. "Call me stupid but I still hadn't connected the dots. But then we got to where we had lived, and that's when the revelation occurred. Helen smiled and then giggled. Mark and Mary, who had been listening to all the coincidences in our lives were completely perplexed. They looked at each other and then their eyes leapt from Helen to me, then me to Helen and back again."

"So that's when Helen revealed who she was?"

"Yes. As soon as I realised I put my head in my hands. Helen leaned across the table, placing her hand on mine. She apologised. She said she hadn't meant to upset me. That she had just meant it to be a bit of fun. I could hear the sincerity in her voice."

Bob's brow furrowed as he asked. "So you were angry?"

"No. Not at all. Although the three of them thought so until I raised my head. Then I began laughing. That's when they realised my head hadn't sunk into my hands because I was annoyed."

"You thought it was funny?"

"I thought it was hilarious. She still had the same sense of humour as when we were young. I knew that her keeping me in the dark wasn't malicious. It was her sense of humour. The sense of humour she had never lost and the sense of humour that was one of the reasons I loved her for the rest of her life."

He fell silent before saying. wistfully. "Her sense of humour is still with me today."

Bob was becoming more and more interested in Tom's tale. "So you asked her out." It wasn't a question.

"The following evening. We went to the cinema. A lad's film about motor racing, called Grand Prix. Fortunately, and to my great surprise, she liked it. That was the first of many times that she surprised me. We came out to find all the racing drivers, in their imagination, revving the engines of their clapped out cars to impress their girlfriends. I remember Helen saying that men think the best way to impress a girl is to drive like a maniac. But how many girls do you know who think that's the way to impress a boy, she said? We may have shared a sense of humour but over the years she often proved, on many occasions, she was smarter than me." Tom smiled at his last remark.

Tom's face brightened, just as the sun peeked from behind a cloud. "I asked her to marry me on our third date. Six months later we became Mr and Mrs Finney. Her parents weren't too sure because they saw their daughter as a highflier and didn't think much of my prospects. But there's nothing wrong with wanting the best for your child. They could see how happy Helen was and, as many parents have done, they crossed their fingers and hoped. My parents thought Helen was good for me, and that was it as far as they were concerned. I had completed my engineering apprenticeship and Helen was a junior doctor."

"Six months from meeting her again you were married? That's fast by any standards." Bob couldn't help but show his surprise. "Weddings are such enjoyable events. Even family members who dislike each other put their feelings aside for a wedding."

Tom spoke quietly. "Our wedding went so smoothly and everybody had a good time. Then Helen and I set off on our honeymoon. We had a good time but, looking back, our wedding night was a bit of a fiasco. Neither of us were sexually experienced, although we had been in previous relationships. Nowadays people are much more promiscuous than back then."

Tom paused again and then, in a soft voice, finding it difficult to speak about something so intimate, carried on. "After that first night we spent two weeks in the garden of Eden. We worked our way, with a great deal of trepidation, to the point for which we had both been waiting. We were in love and it was a memorable experience, and I remember every moment as if it was yesterday. Afterwards we fell asleep in each other's arms. When you find someone you love so much, that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, no words can do justice to that feeling. I thanked Mark and Mary many times for bringing us back together."

They sat in silence. Bob sat watching as the smile appeared once more, and Tom's eyes saw a time from long ago. "I can see that the two of you had a very happy marriage."

Turning to face his new young friend the words slipped easily from Tom's memory. "There were many good times but not always. But that's life. Both our careers progressed well, and with salaries that allowed us to have an affluent lifestyle. We decided to start a family, and within a matter of weeks Helen was pregnant. Both sets of parents were overjoyed and so pleased for us. The promise of a grandchild was in the air every day, and our mothers were both buying things for the baby."

Tom stopped, and then, with his voice cracking with emotion, he continued. "At seven months Helen had a miscarriage. It was devastating for me and Helen, our parents, our relatives and our friends. Once we recovered from the shock we decided to try again."

"From what you've told me about Helen, and you, that doesn't surprise me." Said Bob with a smile.

"We waited a few months and then, when Helen was ready, we tried again. Helen didn't become pregnant the second time as quickly as the first. It was nearly two years before it happened again. I arrived home one day and she met me with a beaming smile and gave me the news. We were overjoyed, as were our parents. We decided to keep it between the six of us until the pregnancy was well under way and Helen arranged a leave of absence from work, to commence three months before the baby was due. Initially we told everyone that Helen was off work ill." Tom paused and once again his eyes returned to the past.

"I've friends who have children and I have seen the happiness that it brings to their families." Life seemed to have improved for Tom and Helen, thought Bob.

"After a few weeks people were becoming concerned for her and, with five weeks to go to the birth, we came clean. We were sure that, so near to full term, nothing would go wrong. Although, perhaps not surprisingly, we still had nagging doubts. Mark and Mary had also stayed together and married. They insisted on arranging, and paying for, a celebration party. We weren't sure but went along with it."

Tom paused with the memory again etched on his face. "After the terrible disappointment of the first time it must have been wonderful." Said Bob.

Tom paused and took a deep breath. "Helen again lost the baby." Nothing was said for several seconds and then he continued. "She became very despondent and went back on the pill. She said she couldn't go through another pregnancy. I wanted to try again but I couldn't be that selfish and I loved Helen too much to try and persuade her."

Tom paused again and turned to face Bob. "Helen stayed on the pill for several years and stopped because she thought she was getting too old to become pregnant. So it was a great surprise when she did become pregnant once again."

Bob could see the tears waiting in Tom's eyes as he remembered the joy he had felt, along with Helen.

Despite being a lot younger Bob could understand, at least a little, of how they must have felt. "That must have been very traumatic." Again it wasn't a question.

Tom uttered a rueful laugh. "We discussed it for hours. Neither of us wanted to go through another pregnancy to end up with heartache again. We actually seriously considered abortion although the thought of taking a life was totally abhorrent. We spent many hours debating a decision and eventually, because we wanted a family, we decided to go ahead. Our parents were delighted, but naturally concerned."

After what Tom had said previously, Bob hesitated before speaking again. "Everything worked out ok?"

"Helen arranged a leave of absence again and we were very careful that she didn't over exert herself. Once we got over the first three months the tension began to increase. Not just on us. Our parents. The rest of our family. Our friends. Everyone was praying that this time there wouldn't be any problems."

Another smile appeared as Tom recalled that happy time.

"What happened?" By now Bob was so involved with Tom's story that he was genuinely hoping it wasn't going to be more bad news.

"I sat in the delivery room in the early hours, holding Helen's hand, trying to help as much as possible. At least holding her hand stopped me from biting my fingernails!" He laughed at the recollection. "Then our daughter appeared. After weighing her the midwife handed her to Helen. They looked so beautiful together. It was an eternity before I got to hold my daughter. Both Helen and I cried. We apologised to the midwife and she laughed. She told us that we weren't the first parents to cry. We wouldn't be the last."

"I can't imagine the joy you must have both felt." Tom smiled as he heard the sincerity in Bob's voice.

"All four grandparents were in the waiting room. As soon as Helen and Claire were on the ward they were allowed in. We had six people crying with joy. Then, when they came home, it was time for another party. Mark and Mary had divorced but they had remained friends with each other, and with us, and again they organised the party."

"My parents divorced but remained friends." Grinned Bob as he recalled a memory of his own. "It made it much better for me and the rest of the family."

Tom sat up straight and the years fell away. "We had a good marriage. Not perfect. But really good. We argued sometimes. What married couple don't argue? Anyone who says they've never had a cross word with their spouse is lying. Life isn't like that. Claire was our little angel and we spoilt her far too much. She grew into a teenager that any parent would be proud of and then went to university. We were over the moon when she was accepted at Oxford."

Tom tried not to show his envy. "She must have been clever to be accepted at Oxford." Not a question. A statement of fact.

"She wanted to follow her mother into medicine. As well as being academic she was also athletic and good at several sports. One of which was basketball. One afternoon she collapsed on court and was rushed to hospital. It was an aneurysm. A blood vessel in her brain ruptured. Apparently it was something that couldn't have been anticipated."

Tom's hands shook, and he cast his eyes to the ground, as he fought to contain himself.

"Helen, being a doctor, found it easier to accept the medical evidence. She explained it to me in terms an ordinary person could understand, and she was much the stronger of us at that time. I will never know how she managed to help me deal with it, as she did, when she was going through the same anguish herself."

The sorrow was evident in Bob's voice. "I can't comprehend how you both managed to deal with it after all that had happened previously."

With an air of resignation Tom continued. "We decided to retire. By this time we were both fifty eight. We weren't wealthy but we certainly didn't have any money worries. Helen had a good pension. I had worked for the same company all my life so also had a good pension. We decided that we wanted to devote our time to charities close to our heart. Charities dealing with deaths before and during childbirth and another one dealing with aneurysms. Helen was able to put her skills to use in research and I applied myself to fundraising."

"Until Helen passed away?" Although Bob thought he knew the answer he still felt he had to ask the question.

"It would have been our golden wedding anniversary today. We had great plans for celebrating our 50 years together. But then she was gone." Once more tears began to trickle down his cheeks.

Bob remained quiet for several seconds and then asked the obvious question. "How did it happen?"

"It began with a cough. But it wouldn't go and got worse. Our family doctor said it was a chest infection but Helen wasn't satisfied with his diagnosis and arranged to have tests done privately. It was lung cancer. How can someone who has never smoked in her life get lung cancer? Within six weeks of being diagnosed Helen was gone. For the first time in 50 years I was alone. Completely alone. Helen had looked after me for all those years and I was lost."

"If you don't mind me asking Tom, how did you come to be living in a residential home?" It seemed to Bob a strange change in circumstances in a short time.

Tom drew a deep breath. "With Helen gone I couldn't live in our house anymore. It had been our home for over 30 years but without Helen it wasn't a home. I sold everything, not just the house. Kept photos of me and Helen; the three of us; Claire on her own; and her first pair of baby shoes. A few other things. I donated to our charities and to the maternity unit where Claire was born. Now I come here every day to see Helen and Claire."

That statement confused Bob. "Why here Tom?"

Instead of answering Tom stood and walked across the pathway. He pointed down the hill. "Because the cemetery is at the bottom of this hill. Can you see those two oak trees off to the right? If you look down you can see the headstones of their graves. With how close the trees are, and because of the roots, it was only possible to have three plots. So I bought all three. From this seat I have an undisturbed view and can see them every day. Waving to me. When I pass away we will be together, with Claire lying between Helen and myself."

Bob stood alongside Tom, as they both looked down the hill. "You look tired Tom. Do you come here every day?"

"Every single day. Helen and I used to come here every day after Claire died, usually in the evening, even in the winter. We've sat on this bench many times, getting wet even with umbrellas. To be here, holding each other, and see Claire waving to us. Now both her and Helen wave to me."

Suddenly Tom's mood changed. "I should be getting back to the home. The other residents will be coming down for breakfast, and the staff like us all to be there at the same time." He stooped and picked up his walking stick. "It's been really nice talking with you Bob."

"My car is at the bottom of the hill. I insist on giving you a lift." There was no way that Bob was going to allow Tom to walk 5 miles, or even travel by bus. Even if he had money for a taxi Bob would insist on taking him back to the home.

Together they walked down the path to the bottom of the hill. Bob holding Tom by the arm, while the old man used his stick with his other hand. They arrived at Bob's two seater sports car and with a great deal of effort, and a little perseverance, Tom managed to end up in the passenger seat. After a few failed attempts Tom backed up to the car and slowly, with Bob holding his arms, rested on the seat. Lifting his right leg, with his hands, he swung it into the car, and Bob pushed him fully on to the seat. In with the other leg, on with the seatbelt, and within a few seconds they were on their way.