"So I'll find what lies beneath
Your sick twisted smile
As I lie underneath
Your cold jaded eyes
Now you turn the tide on me
'Cause you're so unkind
I will always be here
For the rest of my life"
-Breaking Benjamin "What Lies Beneath"
She lasted two and a half hours before things started falling apart.
Her walk with Sam had been a welcome diversion; the sun was shining and though there was a cool crispness to the air that was very much unlike Pasadena, it was still a beautiful day.
They cut through a path flanked by trees that served as something of a campus park. It had always been a favorite place for them both: 'A place to appreciate beauty that doesn't come with numbers attached,' Sam had once called it. The leaves now however, had begun to turn; many clung to their branches with the desperation that can only be found by one facing the inevitable.
On cue, one leaf proudly clad in scarlet and gold succumbed to gravity and flitted down to join his fallen brothers upon the ground.
Miranda watched it fall and began to feel something in her chest tighten. She swallowed and went back to pretending to listen to what Sam was talking about.
"So, are you done pretending to listen to what I'm talking about?"
Miranda jerked to a stop, causing Sam to do likewise as she flashed the other girl a grin,
"Busted."
Miranda ran her fingers through her dark hair, "I'm sorry, Sammy, I was distracted," she gestured, "I never realized how pretty the trees are here in the fall."
"Uh-huh, and does the sight of trees usually have you on the verge of tears?"
"I'm not—"
"You are, so don't try denying it, you're a rotten liar, sweetie," Sam reached over and took her hand, placing a kiss on it, "And I love you."
Miranda's expression softened as her lover helped ease the pain in her chest, "I love you too."
At which point Sam lashed out with her hand and slapped Miranda's ass so hard it echoed like a gunshot across the quad.
"
Kono ama!"
she shrieked. You bitch.
"Don't call me a 'bitch' and don't call me 'Sammy'."
"Sorry," Miranda muttered, rubbing her backside.
"Uh huh," Sam smirked and they continued their walk.
They reached a point where their paths diverged: Miranda to the physics lecture hall, Sam to the mathematics department. They cooed and kissed; there had been a time that Miranda was mortified to show affection publically, not because she was ashamed of her sexuality or of Sam, but because it just "wasn't done in polite society" as her mother had taught her. Sam managed to break her of that particular hang-up in less than a month.
"Take care of yourself, Miri," Sam whispered into her ear as the other girl bent over and hugged her tightly, "Pull your twisted self together and go be brilliant."
"You first," a final kiss on the cheek and both girls headed in opposite directions.
It was strange, Miranda mused, they'd been together for years, yet for some reason, there were times—such as now—that the simple act of the two of them parting to go to work was hard on her, sometimes hard on them both.
All this time together
, she thought,
and saying 'goodbye' is still hard,
she shook her head ruefully;
I must be losing my mind.
Wrapping her arms around herself, she rubbed her hands up and down to generate some measure of warmth as she dashed to her class.
The classroom where she and Luke taught was big for its title; closer to a lecture hall as far as capacity went. The pitched floor went up quite a ways and was usually packed to the rafters, even if Luke was letting Miranda do most of the teaching.
Especially
if it was just Miranda.
Miranda made it a habit to be clueless on how attractive she was and frequently clad herself in outfits that could be 'conservative' by the gracious and down-right 'frumpy' by the bold. It was no use; any member of the class that craved female attention hungered for her. In this particular instance, that was all the men and at least half of the women in attendance.
Miranda cleared her throat and cycled through the four clear boards mounted upon the front wall. They were a pain to set up; which is why they hadn't bothered with it when she and Sam had visited Luke earlier; but for the daily curriculum; one required a great deal more working space.
Miranda cleared her throat again and coughed once, absently rubbing at her chest as it began to ache suddenly.
"So, according to Meitner, and when we are working with subatomic particles; it is understood that they can be sub-divided into distinct groups: Quarks, Leptons, Gauge bosons, and...?"
She turned to face the crowd, "Come on, this is an easy one."
A young man named Brian raised his hand tentatively,
"Yes?"
"Um, Higgs-Boson, Doctor Inoue?"
Miranda smiled slightly; she never quite understood why she made her students nervous, it was probably due to her youth and accomplishments.
"Are you asking me if that is the answer or are you telling me?"
"I'm telling you?"
There was a slight ripple of laughter from the assembled students and Brian turned beet red.
"Settle down you intellectual pygmies," Luke roared good-naturedly, "Before I call up everybody's parents and tell them how you're wasting their hard-earned money."
The class laughed out loud at that: everyone in this class was either on a scholarship, grants or had some other means of paying tuition that did not involves their parents.
The interruption had the desired effect though; Brian composed himself and answered more firmly.
"It's the Higgs Boson, Doctor."
Miranda nodded her approval, "Well done, Brian."
"Does that mean the teacher's pet gets himself a bone?" a girl in the back called out.
There was a collective "ooooooh," from the audience.
Luke just shook his head; his classes were always studies in barely contained anarchy, but when you were dealing with minds like this, the standard forms of teaching just didn't apply. That's not to say he didn't know how to keep his students in line; it just meant he knew when to spare the rod and when to crack the whip. In his class, you
were
going to learn physics whether you liked it or not.
Luke decided this moment was of the later, "The next one of you harpies that talks out of turn is being marched right over to the labs and having their DNA re-sequenced into some form of life that is worthy of wasting our time. They can also count on a great deal of additional coursework that will last them until Christmas!"
There was another laugh; subdued though and quickly ended, the point had been made.
"Good," Luke turned his attention to Miranda, "Please continue."
Miranda sighed quietly, slid a new board into place and began to draw out an equation.
"Okay then, back to basics," she began, "Who can tell me what this is?"
Every hand in the classroom went up as Miranda nodded her approval, "Good. Brian?"
Brian swallowed audibly; he looked like he felt the gaze of every set of eyes in the room on his back and it was making him miserable.
"That's Schrodinger's Equation," he said, looking somewhat confused, "But...?"
"But why are we talking about quantum mechanics when we were just discussing particle physics?" Miranda began to lecture, "Good question. Essentially, physics is like a tree; several branches sharing one base--," she drew an illustration with the marker, "--like this," she turned back to address the class, "Any questions?"
"Ummm...," Brian cleared his throat and Miranda winced inwardly at the man's awkwardness, "Actually, there's something wrong."
"What?"
"The equation, doctor, it's wrong," Brian nearly choked at the amount of tension he was experiencing; a tension that was spreading to the other students who were beginning to edge closer to the unfolding drama with frowns and looks of disbelief.
"Where 'I' is the imaginary unit and 'h' is a representative of Planck's constant is supposed to go, you—you have 'a', whi--which usually is a partial derivative which is supposed to go at, you know, at the end of the equation, Doctor...professor...ma'am."
The room was as still as a crypt: Doctor Miranda Inoue did not make mistakes of this nature.
Ever.
She closed her eyes and turned around to see it for herself and there it was; an equation whose commonality was only surpassed by its ease of interpretation and use, and she had gotten it wrong.
Sound faded out and every sense felt deadened; she dropped the marker where it landed with a dull thud and looked down at her hands; they seemed so small and frail and they were trembling. She closed them into fists; nearly crying aloud as arthritic pain shot through her nerves and she closed her eyes and rested her head against the cool plastic of the board.
"Miranda," Luke asked gently, coming to her side, "Are you all right? Do you need to rest?"
At his words, a total wave of fatigue and weakness crashed into her and she nearly collapsed; steadying herself on the board with Luke and half of the class practically dashing to come to her rescue.
The last time she had felt like this was the day before she met Grey and every day prior. It suddenly seemed to her that the Miranda over the last few days; the woman that had saved a man's life and then stood up to him time and time again, had been replaced. The woman that walked on broken glass to prove a point and had physically attacked the man when he'd crossed the line, was no longer her. The woman who had had the strength to tell him to leave because it would be the only way her and Sam would ever be free or happy, had died - or no longer existed. That woman was gone; like an aborted dream and she was back in the 'real world' where she was fragile and pathetic
She felt her thin shoulders slump as the fog of exhaustion and the sensation of being utterly spent, filled her veins like poison and settled upon her body like shackles.
"I think I'd like to sit down please," Miranda whispered.
"Of course," Luke replied, as he pulled out a chair upon which Miranda collapsed into. He took a quick assessment of the class.
"Well, there you go; proof that even the mightiest of intellects is still susceptible to being poisoned by the swill they serve down at the kitchen like the rest of us mere mortals."
Light laughter dispelled the tension: food poisoning and nothing more; their idol hadn't fallen after all. Brian especially looked relieved.
Miranda caught Luke's eye and mouthed, "
thank you."
He nodded, "All right then you apes; let's get back on track and we can discuss later why our favorite Asian genius felt the need to consume day-old sushi."
