At the Airport
I miss him. I miss the sensitive, proud, irritable man that I fell in love with. I miss telling him about my day, telling him my thoughts, telling him how special he is, telling him how special we were as a couple. I miss hearing about his nerdy projects and hearing about his passions and interests.
I hate the fact that my side of his bed will now be cold and empty. Perhaps a body might fill that space from time to time, but the bed will still not be warm because I am not there. His lovely dog will perhaps stretch out and warm the empty space. I hope so.
I am 'in transit' following a holiday to stay with a friend in a historical town in the North of Italy. Whilst I was there in Italy, he was on every street corner, in every restaurant, having coffee in every market square. You see it is possible that he could have been working there at the time.
Many a dark haired man dressed in a work suit must have given a 'start' to find himself being stared at by a small English woman with large hopeful eyes. She would momentarily stare, realise that none of these men were her man, and would then look away and carry on with her business.
It is time to go home now, time to get back into the normal routine once more. I am at the airport, and have quite a time to sit and wait for my train. I am writing in a little notebook, the old-fashioned way.
I am tired.
I let my mind drift.
I will allow myself to imagine what should and could have happened in Italy...
In Italy
Two days ago, I set out on foot to the centre of the little historic town in which I was staying. The sun was shining and it felt just like summer again. I had put on a little skirt, sandals and a pretty vest top. My newly washed hair tumbled around my face and down over my shoulders.
I strolled happily along the cobbled streets, admiring the old buildings and breathing in the history surrounding me. I had a small list of errands, including shopping to complete for my friend. As I strolled along, I reminded myself of my shopping list which consisted of milk, bread, bananas and Prosecco.
I waited amongst a crowd of people to cross a busy road. When it was safe to cross, the buses, trams and cars all came to a halt. Being Italy, people on bicycles continued to weave in and out causing chaos! I stepped into the road and crossed to the other side. I continued to mentally repeat my list to myself - milk, bread, bananas and Prosecco.
Somewhere distantly, I heard a car door slam followed by footsteps rapidly approaching. Someone must be in a hurry. My name was called, but I knew it couldn't have been for me as only my friend knew I was here. I carried on walking, repeating my shopping list to myself. My name was called again! This time I stopped and turned around out of instinct.
Oh God! All the breath seemed to leave my body immediately! My knees threatened to buckle! He was standing there looking at me earnestly, breathing heavily after his sudden sprint. He was smartly dressed in a business suit as I had imagined. I had only ever seen him in jeans, but was 'blown-away' at how handsome he looked! He was looking at me anxiously, earnestly, expectantly.
"I knew it had to be you," he said. "The hair, the legs...it just had to be you."
"It is me," is all I could return in a shaky voice.
"Hi baby," is all he then said.
"Hello my darling," was my reply.
We stared at each other. I felt my eyes fill with tears. He then moved towards me and put his strong arms around me and pulled my trembling body close to his. I put my head against his chest and wept quietly. In response, he pulled me into a tighter hug.
