Note: Special thanks go out to my two regular editors, LilTexasSexFiend and AnInsatiableReader, for making this infinitely better than it was when I first wrote it. As always, let me know what you think, through voting, comments or private feedback. All three works too! ;-) As I said, this story will go up with one chapter posting daily until it's all uploaded, so don't get too mad about the cliffhangers. Enjoy!
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"You know, I heard a rumor somewhere.. someone said you were a psychologist."
Tim had been buried in evaluations and player files for more than three hours now, so when he heard J.T.'s voice outside his office at the RBC Center, it came as a welcome break.
"Yeah," Tim said, looking up briefly before getting back to his files. "Someone definitely peddled you some bullshit on that one."
J.T. chose to ignore him. Why should today be different from any other day, Tim thought?
"I mean, I see the degree on your wall," J.T. said, striding into Tim's small-ish office and stopping by the Doctorate in Sports Psychology degree he'd received from N.C. State, which he'd framed and hung on the wall between movie posters from Die Hard and Lethal Weapon 3. J.T. pretended to study it - Tim pretended to listen to him.
"And I know all these pro and college teams pay you to talk to their players.. convince them that the world isn't really out to get them, just the other team's 6-foot-6, 400-pound defensive tackle. Personally, I'd take the world, but what do I know? You're the one with the degree and the fancy title."
Sometimes, J.T. got to the point. And sometimes, Tim thought, his best friend took the scenic route.
"You got a point in all this, Mr. Drama Queen, or is this your way of warming me up with senseless rambling before the people I'm paid to work with start showing up?"
"You really haven't figured this out yet, have you?" J.T. responded.
"Apparently not, but I'm sure you're going to enlighten me," Tim said.
"Julia's best friend sleeps next to me every night," J.T. said, catching Tim's attention with that. J.T. plopped down into a chair in front of Tim's desk before continuing.
"Now, you and I, we're men," J.T. continued. "We don't really do the gossip thing. Instinctively, we know there are things we're meant to understand - football, beer, James Bond, the Xbox 360, the G-spot. We also know there are things we're not supposed to understand, and when we come across one of these things, we don't bother each other with the details. We simply move on, secure in the knowledge that if it's not related to one of those things I just listed, and we don't understand it... well, it's probably not that important anyway. Am I right?"
Tim grinned. "You certainly seem to think so, and who am I to tell you otherwise?"
"Now," J.T. continued, almost as if his last question was rhetorical. "Women... women are different, my dear Timothy. They have to analyze everything. Anytime something happens that doesn't sit 100% perfectly right in their mind, conference calls are organized, book clubs meet, and long... loooooong... male-bashing sessions occur."
"English, Einstein."
J.T. finally looked up at Tim. "You want Layman's terms? Fine. You can't get past Leira, and you can't stop taking it out on Julia. You don't understand why you do it, neither do I, but we're men. We don't talk about it."
Tim was pretty sure where this was going. He simply waited.
"Last night, you treated Julia like she was some cheap piece of ass you picked up at the campus bookstore, and still, she acts like you're the greatest thing on the planet with a penis and two testicles. She doesn't understand why you do that, and she doesn't understand why she lets you, but she's a woman. Three seconds after she locked your door, she was on the phone with my fiancΓ©e."
Tim nodded. "Here's my question, though, J.T.," he began. "Does something exist out there that has a penis but not two testicles?"
"Yes," J.T. said. "His name is Lance Armstrong. You know - really thin mother fucker, usually wears a lot of yellow in France in the summertime, used to bang the shit out of Sheryl Crow. You ask me, that guy should have both nuts, and we should take one of yours away."
Most people don't laugh when someone lands a pretty deep insult. Most people aren't being insulted by J.T. Lancaster, Tim thought. He laughed out loud.
"I would think just having one would make it easier to ride that damned bike though," Tim said. "See? Here you go trying to make the world a better place, and you're gonna fuck up Lance Armstrong's chances of winning the Tour de France next summer."
"Tim - "
"Stay out of it, J.T.," Tim said.
"Just listen, man," J.T. said, but Tim stood up and turned his back on J.T.
"Julia called Sheila. Not you," Tim said. "Julia didn't tell you about it, and neither did I. I believe that officially makes this none of your business."
"Yeah, but we're talking now," J.T. tried.
"It look like I'm in the mood to talk about this?" Tim fired back. J.T. tried a couple of answers out in his head, but apparently none of them fit, because nothing came out of his mouth. Satisfied his friend wasn't going to respond, Tim turned back around and took his seat. He looked down at the files on his desk, but didn't really see them. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence - a rare thing for two people who'd known each other for almost 10 years like Tim and J.T. - J.T. finally stood up.
"We still on to shoot some hoops tonight?"
"5:30 here, right?"
"That's the plan," J.T. said. "What do you have tomorrow?"