Do You Believe Me

She had been making small talk with me every time we ran into each other in the restroom in the office building where we both worked. At first, it was a casual smile into the mirror when we both looked up simultaneously while washing our hands. It proceeded into the typical "thank God the week is almost over" to more "how was your weekend?" type of conversation.

I gave typical one word answers ("Yes." "Fine."), but she persisted. I'm a private person and I do not make friends easily; in fact, my husband says I'm the only woman he's ever known that doesn't make plans to go shopping with friends or spend hours gabbing on the phone. In truth, the extent of female companionship in my life extends to my co-workers, but they are younger than me (in their twenties as opposed to me being forty) and we have nothing in common outside of where we work.

On one particular Friday, as I was walking through the parking lot to my car, she fell into step next to me, asking me if I had any particular plans for the weekend. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. Her office, I decided, allowed casual Fridays. She was wearing high-heeled brown boots with distressed jeans and an over-sized white blouse belted low on the waist with a fashionable brown belt. Her black hair flowed around her shoulders, blowing in the slight wind. My office did not believe in casual anything and I was wearing my typical high heels, skirt and blouse. My hair was picked up in a ponytail.

"No" was my short response to her query about my weekend.

"Oh, you know some friends and I are getting together at...you know, I don't even know your name! I just realized that! I'm sorry! My name's Cara" she said, as I stopped to fish my keys out of my purse.

I didn't answer as I opened my car door. She stood there, a puzzled look on her face, but she didn't give up.

"Sooo...do you have a name?" she asked, a slight grin revealing a dimple.

"Vivian" I answered shortly, as I got into my car.

She was still standing there as I drove away.

_ _ _ _

"I don't know why she won't leave me alone" I complained to Robbie as we got ready for bed that night.

He slipped between the sheets and pulled me close, kissing the top of my head. I closed my eyes as his hands stroked my arms. Robbie may be 42, but since he's worked in construction since he was in early twenties, his body was still firm and muscled. There was no overhanging stomach on my man, that's for sure.

"Maybe she's just friendly, sweetheart" he answered, his left hand slipping to caress my hip as I rolled towards him.

"I don't want any friends" I mumbled in response as I kissed him. His green eyes smiled at me and the corners crinkled. He pulled away and looked into my own eyes affectionately.

"Darlin', when are you going to let that go? It was so long ago and I worry about you. I mean, I go hang with the guys, play football, whatever and you're home. Would it be so horrible to be nice to her?" he asked, his hand leaving my hip to stroke my cheek where a tear had suddenly made an unscheduled appearance.

"Why did you bring that up?" I asked, my voice catching in my throat. Unwanted memories flooded in. Kelly, my best friend from the time I was 10, had ended our relationship abruptly when we were 22, two years before I met Robbie.

She and I had been out with a group of friends that night, dancing and drinking. I was a different girl then. Kelly and I would go shopping and I had the latest and best designer clothes on my figure at all times. She would do my hair, coaxing waves out of it, causing it to flow free and wild down my back. We would start our weekends on Wednesday night and the party would continue until Monday morning.

The partying had started early that Saturday at a friend's pool so by the time the evening was winding down, the amount of alcohol in our systems would have floated a cruise ship. We managed to make it to her apartment and I decided to spend the night like I had done on countless other occasions.

We kicked off our shoes and collapsed, giggling, onto the bed. As I lay there, staring at the ceiling and laughing at nothing, she had reached over and pulled my face towards hers, her lips brushing mine lightly.

She had pulled slightly away, her fingers lightly stroking my cheek. I was suddenly sober and extremely scared; what was going on?

"Viv..." she said softly, looking straight into my eyes, an expression on her face I had never seen.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, the words barely making their way past my lips.

"I've...I've been wanting this for a while. You're my best friend, Viv" she said, moving her hand from my cheek to stroke my brown hair. "I want us to be as close as possible."

"We are close" I stammered back, not sure of what I was supposed to be doing. Kelly had never even hinted at something like this. She had always been a guy magnet, irresistible to the men at the clubs. With her blonde hair and honey-brown eyes, she was a combination of innocence and sexiness that drove them crazy.

"Not close enough for me" she answered me, her fingers leaving my hair and moving slowly over my lips. "I've wondered for too long what it would be like with you. Trust me, it'll be beautiful."

"Kelly" I started to say, but she moved her lips over mine again, this time allowing her tongue to flick lightly out.

"Ssssh" she said, moving over me and settling her body against mine. As she intensified the kiss, I felt myself letting go, even though I didn't want to. She's your best friend, my mind tried to convince me, if you can't trust her, what's the point? If this doesn't work, my heart argued, your friendship will never be the same. As my mouth opened in response to her persistence, both arguments melted away into nothingness.

My tongue shyly licked at hers, drawing a small moan from her. She sucked at it lightly, causing me to jump a bit. She smiled against my lips as my arms went up around her to draw her closer, all pretense of attempting to stop her gone.

Her lips traced up my neck, stopping at my earlobe to give it a gentle, teasing tug. I felt a warmth starting to grow deep in my center as she continued down the side of my neck, stopping right above the cleavage that my tank top revealed. She looked straight into my eyes as she moved her fingers over my left breast, stroking softly all the while as her head came down over my right breast, her breath warm against the insubstantial fabric. I don't think I was breathing at this point.

"You're beautiful" she breathed the words against me as she pulled my tank top out of my jeans, revealing my suntanned skin. The warmth of that afternoon's sun was nothing compared to the heat she was starting to awaken in me.

She stroked my belly, kissing me the entire time. Our tongues were intimate friends at this point, dancing in each other's mouths. We murmured unintelligible words against each other's lips as she deftly unbuttoned my jeans with her now-familiar gentle persistence and slipped her fingers up against my satin thong.

She began stroking me, bringing to a place that I didn't even know existed. She matched the strokes of her fingers with the strokes of her tongue. I melted against her fingers as I groaned her name into her mouth, my own fingers shakily tearing at her shorts. As I touched her, she climaxed and my legs wrapped around her as wave after wave of pure pleasure washed over us.

As we drifted off to sleep, her arms wrapped around me, I never dreamed that would be the end. She changed after that, going out more and more with our group of friends, but never letting me know. When I would call her, all I got were excuses about not being able to get together due to other commitments. When I finally lost my temper and told her I knew this would happen, she responded by stating that the friendship was over. It had been a nice night, she said, but her curiosity was satisfied and that was all it had been.

When Robbie proposed a year after we had been dating, I spilled the entire story, not wanting to keep anything from him. He held me as I cried; I had never told anyone what had happened and it was painful to say the words out loud.

"I brought it up" said Robbie, snapping me back into the present day, "because it's high time you move past that. You need someone to be your friend, to see how much you have to offer in that respect. You're an amazing woman, baby! It's not fair that you don't give someone a chance to see that! Give it a shot."

As he cuddled me into his arms for the evening, his words echoed through my dreams.

_ _ _ _

The next day when Cara tried to be friendly again, I forced myself past my issues and gave a little more of an answer. I could tell she was surprised, but, to her credit, she went with it. As the week went on, I responded more and more to her friendly questions and, by Friday, I was quite surprised at myself. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, I thought.

The following weeks went on in the same vein, our conversations growing more and more personal, as we started meeting for lunches and the occasional after-work drink. Robbie would meet us once in a while and they got along great. One Friday, she mentioned that she needed to go to the mall the next day and if I would like to go with her. When I got home, I told Robbie and he laughed, saying he hoped the credit cards could take it. I playfully swatted at him, telling him I never got myself clothes anymore and that it was time I did.

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, a long, sexy kiss. "Hey" he said, his voice low, "how about you get some new lingerie while you're at it? I was looking through a catalog you left on the kitchen table. There was a pajama set I would love to see you in, this little top with boxer shorts. It was cute as all hell."

"Is that what you want for Valentine's Day?" I teased. The day was coming up in about a month and we always liked to do something special.

He hesitated a minute and looked closely at me. "If I tell you what I really want, do you think you'll go for it?"

I was surprised; he had never been so mysterious before. "Maybe, I don't know. What is it?"

"You...and Cara."

I instantly pulled back. "WHAT?"

"Listen, you've been so happy these past months and I know why. You've finally broken through that wall you had built around yourself. I just want to see what's making you so happy. I want to see you with her. I won't touch her, I promise. But I think this will bring you full circle; you can finally erase Kelly completely."

"Are you crazy? This is the worst possible idea..."

"Ask her. You might be surprised at her answer. I've seen how she looks at you when you're not looking. She cares a lot about you. I think she'll do it for you."

I stared at him. This could not be happening. Had he gone completely insane?

"Please, Vivian. Just ask."

Saturday arrived and I went to meet Cara at her house so we could drive over to the mall together. She let me into her house and I watched as she walked away from me to go to the kitchen. I tried to look at her objectively. My new best friend (because, if I was honest with myself, that's exactly what she was) was a beauty. She was 41, only a year old than me, but she could easily pass for someone in their mid-thirties. Her sapphire blue eyes were an amazing contrast to her black hair and slightly tanned skin. She was into the latest fashions because her exceptional figure could wear them easily. Because of her influence, my own style had changed, less tight-laced and more fun. Jeans, vintage t-shirts, cute sneakers and sandals were now part of my wardrobe where once only skirts and work blouses ruled. My hair wasn't pulled back into a strict ponytail; it was, in fact, freshly styled, bangs softly framing my face. Robbie hadn't been wrong about my happiness, but could he be wrong about her feelings?

As she came walking back towards me, her purse on her shoulder, her smile faltered at the expression on my face.

"What's wrong, Viv? Something happen with Robbie?" she asked, the concern in her voice touching.

"No, everything with him is fine. But I have to talk to you about...about something" I said, my voice shaky. "And it's not going to be easy." Dear God, was I really going to go through with this?

We sat down in her living room and the story tumbled from my lips, starting with Kelly and ending with Robbie's suggestion about Valentine's Day.

Cara had sat through the entire discourse without saying a word, save for the occasional "uh-huh". She had grasped my hand tightly when I told her about Kelly and her eyes were kindly sympathetic. As I finished with Robbie's request, I couldn't look at her. The silence stretched between us until she broke it.

"If you can trust me with that, then I have to tell you something as well. When I started trying to get friendly with you, it was for something other than friendship. I would see you in the building and I would wonder what you were like without all that 'office' on you. What you would be like in cute clothes with your hair down and a few drinks in you. But you never let me get close, no matter what I tried and, honestly, I wasn't used to that. Whenever I wanted someone, I could get them and that was it, the thrill and chase was over. The more you resisted, the more I wanted to get to know you and find out why you wouldn't let me in. And then it wasn't about trying to get you in bed anymore; I woke up one day and realized that I liked being with you for you. Yeah, you're pretty and you've gotten even more beautiful with all these new clothes and hair and everything, but what I love most is how amazing you are inside. You're as beautiful outside as you are inside and Kelly was an idiot for letting your friendship die."

She moved closer to me on the couch, reaching out to push a stray strand behind my ear. "I'm no idiot," she said, "and I'm not about to break your heart and destroy what we have. I've never had a best friend like you before. I want to do what Robbie said: I want to erase Kelly from your mind forever. I want an intimacy with you that I've never wanted with another friend; I want a bond with you that no one else can have. Do you believe me?"

Those amazing eyes would not break away from mine. When I tried to look away, she gently reached out and pulled my chin towards her. I desperately wanted to believe her, to show her how unbelievable these past months had been and what she meant to me, but I was afraid it would be Kelly all over again and there was no way I could go through that with her.

"I want to believe you" I whispered. "But I can't. I don't want to lose.."

"You won't lose me" she replied, her lips closer now. "I promise. Let me show you I mean it."

Her lips slipped effortlessly over mine as her hands slipped around my waist. My heart started beating double time. She pulled me closer, one hand leaving my waist to gently find its way to my hair. As she pulled away from my lips, she twirled a section of my hair around her finger and kissed it, never looking away from me. She let go of my hair as her lips sought out my neck and traced their soft way back to my mouth. When her tongue slipped past my lips, I was ready for her. My hands slipped up her back and pulled her towards me, my tongue insistent upon hers. I felt my anxiety dissolving

She pulled away after a few minutes and without a word, I followed her to her bedroom. We stood looking at each other for a few seconds, my face beginning to flush the way it always did when I was aroused. I went to look away again, embarrassed, but she hooked her fingers into the belt loops on my jeans and drew me towards her. "Don't" she whispered, "I like that I can do that to you." She undid my belt as she continued her languid, unhurried exploration of my mouth. As the belt hit the floor, her fingers went to work on the few buttons that were done up on my oversized blouse. The blouse followed the belt to the floor, leaving me before her in my jeans and a halter top. She stepped back, taking me in with those mesmerizing eyes. This time, I didn't look away; I matched her look for look. It was my turn as I pulled her towards me to relieve her of her own blouse, kissing her neck as I did. I traced the outline of her jaw with my lips as I reached the last button. Under her blouse was the new sports bra we had gone to get two weeks before. As her blouse joined mine on the floor, my hands encircled her bare waist and my lips impatiently went back to hers. Her fingers worked at undoing my jeans and the kiss went on as I stepped out of my shoes and jeans, my new black satin hiphuggers starting to become moist.

She stepped back and looked at me again and this time I saw her breath catch in her throat. She bent over, unzipped her boots, pulled them off and stood back up. Without taking her eyes from mine, she slowly unbuttoned her jeans and teasingly brought the zipper down, revealing adorable boyshorts. She kicked the jeans aside and reached for me again. I felt her bare belly rub mine and a shot of pure pleasure coursed through my center. She slipped her hands upwards and tugged questioningly on my top while her tongue lightly traced my lips.

"Can I keep it on?" I breathed as her lips closed over mine again.

"Whatever you want," she murmured back. "I think that's sexy as hell."

"Thanks," I responded, my own fingers slipping past the top of her boyshorts.

"My turn to ask to keep those on," she said coyly, pulling her lips away to kiss the tip of my nose.

"And I think that's sexy," I answered, my arms encircling her waist as hers went around my neck.

We stood kissing for what felt like a millennia, our tongues getting to know each other in every possible way. Slowly, she led me to the bed, pushing me down until she was completely against me, my leg drawn up on one side of us. "I could kiss you forever" she whispered, her lips starting their exploration downward.

She paused when she reached my breasts and she looked at me as she brought her fingers up to stroke the swell that lead to my nipple. "You need to let me know if this is okay" she said softly, "It's going to really get intense from here on. And I know" she added, smiling, "that you have shyness issues."

"I'll let you know" I said, just as softly, touched that she remembered I was shy.

Her lips returned eagerly to mine and I returned the kiss just as intensely. Despite the intensity of our kiss, her fingers were slow and deliberate, taking their time as they stroked first one breast, then the other. Her fingers circled my nipples, lightly going over each one until both were straining against the fabric of my halter top. When she was satisfied with their reaction, her hand continued south, lightly tracing across that incredibly sensitive area in the inner thigh right where it joins with your most intimate of places.

I was moaning now, unable to control anything that was going on inside my body. Her fingers were tracing small flames everywhere she touched, wildfires that were heading straight to my center. At her touch, I spread my legs a bit so she could slip her fingers against my hiphuggers. "You're soaked" she whispered, amazement in her voice, as she began a slow, delicious, tortuous rub.

"Don't stop," was all I could say, my back arching off the bed. My arms were flung over my head, clutching the sheets. My eyes were closed and it was all I could do to keep breathing.

"No, look at me" she said, surprising me into opening my eyes. She was staring at me with an intense amount of affection as her fingers continued their intimate assault. "I want you to remember this, to know it's me making you feel like this."

I tried to answer, but it hit at that moment. A tsunami is weak compared to what was coursing through my body. My heart was doing triple time, my hands ripped at the sheets and I flung my head back as my body came off the mattress even more. The high lasted an eternity, ebbing away slowly, in excruciatingly exquisite waves, aftershocks causing little tremors inside.