Chapter 6: One of Us
Donnie's Story
Dee Dee and I broke some of the news to Andrew tonight. We told him the short-term important stuff anyway. It was all he really needed to know to make a decision about us. Dee Dee and I have been debating about the rest. She hardly believes it herself and sees no reason to involve Andrew yet.
But I believe it. And Andrew has to know sometime. But I'll respect her point of view and keep quiet for the present, I suppose.
We dropped Dee Dee off at the Hyatt. She gave Andrew a deliciously demonstrative kiss before she left. Neither of us is jealous of the other, really. But Andrew might derive some benefit from the mild sibling rivalry that is bound to arise out of our sharing the same man.
We love each other, Dee Dee and I. But who can tell what goes on inside the head of a man, if anything? After all, if he can really tell us apart, won't he also have an opinion of which one he likes better? Dee Dee has a head start, but I want it to be me. I am such a bitch!
As Andrew drove us to his apartment, we made small talk. Frankly, I don't remember much of what we said. At dinner I had used the pretense that I would love to see his apartment, but truthfully I didn't care one iota what his apartment was like. I was desperate to finish off what we had started earlier in the evening when Dee Dee interrupted us.
Yes, after the three of us had talked, been introduced, made jokes about the situation ad naseum, Andrew and I finished each other off with a 'quickie'. Even that was more sex than I had had in four years.
But that first encounter, the inadvertent one, when Andrew had stripped me naked, swept me off of my feet, and then took me like the dominating male animal that he is: oh my God! It was transcendental.
I do not succumb to the 'I'm going to take it and you're going to like it' type of man. With them it is ego, not sex. It's a power trip to know that they can dominate another person, and I'm not in to other people's power trips. The female in that coupling is merely a convenient orifice for the male's member. Any available orifice would do.
Andrew wasn't like that at all. With him it wasn't about power, it was about need. He needed me. No other woman in the world would have been capable of filling that need. Just me. Well, maybe Dee Dee.
But he knows the difference. He's the only person in the world that knows the difference. And he still needed me. No one had ever come close to needing me like that. It's seductive; powerfully erotically seductive. You are the center of that person's universe.
As you realize the incredible need in Andrew, suddenly your need is as great as his. I needed him. I needed him to take me, own me, plant his seed in me. What does that mean? Is it me or is it genetics? That's the question that has been bothering me all night.
I don't believe the man knows what is inside himself. I can give him support and guidance. He's different, is our Andrew. He's not like other men I have known. His ego is fragile and he considers himself to be just a boy. But he is so much more than that. I can show him that. We can show him that. And we will.
Andrew lives in a vanilla garden apartment complex in the Cleveland suburbs. We walked into his apartment and I saw that it was exactly what I expected: a no frills, functional living machine.
Andrew looked a little embarrassed as he showed me around. We sat down on his very functional but plan sofa in his functional but plain living room. His concession to establishing his identity in the room was the wall of computer equipment: servers, monitors, wires connecting everything. One had to know a computer geek lived here.
"Sorry Donnie, if this isn't very impressive. I'm just not into things. I get what I need and use them as necessary, but I don't care about objects. That's one of the reasons I haven't been that successful with women."
My eyebrow went up at that. "Oh? You seem to be quite successful with every woman I've ever seen you with."
He smiled a little. "You and Dee Dee are different and you know it. By my standards you are rich. You must have all the toys you want already. You can afford them so you must have them, at least if you want them. You don't need me to provide you with material goods. At least I hope you don't, because if you do you've got the wrong man."
I said, "Explain yourself young man."
"Donnie, I'm twenty-five years old. To you that may be awfully young, but in my profession if I really wanted to make something of myself, I would have been well on my way to my first million by now. But I don't. I don't really want to make something of myself. Do you understand that?"
"What do you want then, Andrew?"
"I'm not sure. I just know I don't want what other people want. I don't want to keep score. I don't want to compare my wealth with other people's wealth, my toys with other people's toys. I saw a bumper sticker that read 'The one who dies with the most toys wins.' I don't want to win. I don't want to play."
This boy's spirit is as beautiful as his body, as his face. He's one of us. I'm starting to be sure of it.
"Donnie let's get our cards on the table here. I haven't spoken to Dee Dee about this, because until tonight I wasn't even sure if she was interested in me beyond next Friday. Why muddy the waters with true confessions? Next week we might have said to each other 'live long and prosper' and then just walked away. For that kind of relationship she knew all she needed to know about me."
"I have no ambition. There. Now you know. You two ladies are at the top of your profession. I'll never be at the top of mine. I don't care about my profession that way. I do it because it's fun and it puts food on the table. But that's all it means to me."
"Andrew I thought you were going to call us 'girls' not 'ladies'."
"When we are talking business you are women, ladies. When we are talking personal you are girls. This is business, not personal."
"Oh! A Godfather aficionado!"
"Donnie, I'm not sure you are taking this in the spirit I'm giving it. I'm trying to explain to you who I am and what you can expect if we are together."
"Andrew, sweetie, we already know who you are. Don't expect us to be shocked by telling us that you don't like living in the material world. We are like you in that at least. We are doing what we like to do. It fulfills us. Yes we each make $150,000 a year plus expenses plus benefits. But that's what the job pays. We do it because it's what we do."
"Christ, Donnie, you girls make $300,000 a year and I paid for dinner? This is one sexist world!"
I said, 'Honey, that's one of the things we want to change. Do you know something?"
"What?" he asked.