Death And A New Love Ch 02

This chapter does not stand alone. Please read the previous chapter before this.

To the wonderful feeling of attraction

------[]---[]------

It was a wild day. I was moving into my house and met Toni, my new next door neighbor. Little did I know a few hours later I would be standing next to her at the bedside of her dying husband, at the terminal end of a 5-year struggle with ALS.

We spent the evening back at my house. Toni didn't want to be alone, so she insisted on helping me sort boxes and put them in the correct rooms.

When Toni was ready to leave, I hugged her again by the door.

"I'm a little worried about you tonight. Will you promise me something? If you are awake crying in the middle of the night, will you please call me? It's Friday night, so I don't have to be up early tomorrow or Sunday. Promise me?"

She looked into my eyes. "I suppose, but I hate to ..."

"I'm serious, Toni. No kidding around about this. Please call if you're sitting in the dark, crying. Promise?"

"Ok, I promise."

I spent another hour unpacking boxes. Mostly kitchen stuff and then my clothes.

I was tired. Physically and emotionally. I crawled into bed, then lay there thinking about Toni. I felt guilty thinking of how pretty she was. She was too vulnerable for me to think of her that way.

------[]---[]------

I apparently fell asleep quickly. When my phone rang, I was totally disoriented. It took me several rings to answer it.

"Hello?" I hadn't even looked at the screen.

"Tony."

"Are you crying?"

"Yeah. You made me promise ..."

"Give me five. I'll be right over."

When I stepped onto her porch, her door opened. I stepped inside and she fell into my arms. Her face was tear stained. I held her head against my chest.

Neither of us spoke for several minutes.

"How can I help, Toni?"

"I don't know. Just hold me."

We sat on her sofa. My arm was around her. Her head was on my chest. Within 10 minutes, I heard her lightly snoring.

I wasn't about to wake her, so I took a pillow with my free hand and put it behind my head and leaned back. Within a few minutes I was also asleep.

When I woke up, it was somewhat light outside. I figured it was probably about 6 am. Toni was still there, snuggled next to me. Her arm was across my body.

What was I going to do? I did the only thing I could. I went back to sleep!

I woke up, maybe an hour later, then Toni stirred. She looked up at me and then sat up.

"Tony, I'm so sorry! This is unfair to you."

"It's ok. I suspected last night was going to be rough for you. That's why I made you promise, but you'll never have that first night again."

"I hope not. For your sake as well!"

We both laughed.

"I would make breakfast for you, but I need to unpack my kitchen still. Can I take you out for breakfast?"

"You've done so much already."

"Alright. How about this? Toni, would you go on a date with me this morning? I'd like to take you out for breakfast. After all, we've already slept together."

She was laughing. "That's not fair. You know I won't turn you down."

"Good. What time is it? ... 7:50. Can you be ready by 9?"

"Yes. How should I dress for this date?"

"Your little black dress."

She looked at me with an open mouth, but I couldn't keep a straight face.

"I can't believe I fell for that! Obviously, I need to be on guard for your sense of humor. I'll be ready at 9. Are you driving all the way over here from next door to pick me up?"

"Yes, I am. See ya then."

------[]---[]------

I was feeling better about things. I totally understood--even expected--last night. She might have another night or two of struggles, but I could deal with that. I knew she needed a friend.

I was looking forward to our first date.

I decided to have fun with this. I hurried and showered and got dressed. I ran out to the garage, hit the door opener and jumped in my car. A short errand.

At 9, I rang her doorbell. When she answered it, I handed her a dozen red roses. "I brought you these, to help you remember who I am and to remember our first date."

There were tears in her eyes. "I don't think I need roses to remember you, but I will never forget our first date. Thanks, Tony. You are such a sweet man. I'll put these in water, then we are out the door."

I opened the car door for her, of course. When I got in the car, she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

"What was that for?"

"Where do I start? For yesterday at the hospital. For last night. For the roses. For being such a gentleman. I could probably go on."

"Oh. I thought maybe you just wanted to kiss me."

"And because I wanted to kiss you."

I took her to breakfast at a local 4-star hotel. It's been a great place for breakfast for many years.

"Toni, when you're with me, you must promise me something. You don't know how to open your car door, unless we're in an accident. Got it?"

She saluted. "Yes sir."

When I opened her car door, she kissed me on the cheek again.

"I just wanted to. In case you were going to ask."

I wasn't sure what to expect about her emotional state. After we ordered, we started talking about all sorts of things. We laughed a lot. That was a relief. I was afraid of another sad session.

I learned Toni grew up in Chicago, went to school at Northwestern, competed on the swim team and graduated in accounting! She got married right after graduation, so she never got an accounting job. Don was an investment banker with Goldman Sachs. He was six years older than Toni, so they waited until she graduated to marry. A few years ago, he wanted to slow down a little, so he took a job as president of a local investment firm. A good one. They were only here a couple of years before Don got sick.

I asked her how good she still was as a swimmer.

"I won't break any records, but I swim a lot. I've always been fast. In my college days I competed in the 100, 200, and 4X100 relay. I won both the 100 and 200 in most dual meets. Our relay won in the Big 10 championship meet. I guess I was pretty good, but not good enough to make an Olympic team."

"Still, that's impressive. You can probably still swim circles around me!"

"We might have to find out, but tell me about Ashley."

"I met her at school. She was really cute, although we didn't start dating until a few years later. I was in love, and it wasn't too long before we moved in together. I already told you how I messed up with her. At least from my perspective."

"Can I ask an inappropriate question?"

"You can ask."

"But you may not answer? Fair enough. Did Ashley like sex? I mean, like it a lot?"

"Do you mean, did she want sex often?"

"Yeah. That's what I was getting at."

"At first. You know, a couple of times a day. Later, it was a couple of times a week."

"Did you want more?"

"Yeah. She turned me down a lot."

"Hmmm. Silly girl. She didn't love you."

"Why do you say that? How can you know that?"

"Ok, maybe I'm wired differently, but even after 15 years of marriage, no, 18 years--up until Don got sick--we had sex about 3 times a week. More importantly, I never turned him down, unless I was sick, and I initiated it a lot as well. We were adventurous and creative. A lot of fun together. Intimacy creates a bond between two people. Our hearts were knit together. I wanted a lot of that. Ashley didn't."

I was processing that. There was a lot to unpack.

'What have you done the past five years?"

She looked down. Tears in her eyes.

"I've ... well, I've had to get by on my own. It's not as fun and doesn't build a connection with someone else. I'm tired of it."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm not asking to have sex with you. Sex as recreation doesn't interest me. I guess I'm just talking about what I've missed most. I'm probably way out of line, but it's on my mind. Has been for five years."

"Just out of curiosity, when you say, 'adventurous and creative,' what does that mean?"

"Well, a girl doesn't talk, but let's just say a variety of sexual positions, places in my body, toys and lingerie."

------[]---[]------

I walked her to her door. She kissed me on the cheek.

"Thanks for a fun first date. I hope you'll want to see me again."

"Surely you don't mean 'see' you! After all, we live next door."

"Speaking of which, I'll trade time in my pool for time in your hot tub. Interested?"

"I'd love to swim today, after I unpack more boxes."

"I'll be over to help in a few minutes. The pool afterwards. How about the hot tub tonight?"

------[]---[]------

We got almost all the boxes unpacked and things put away. Toni was a whirlwind. The only boxes we didn't touch were books and office things for my home office. I needed bookshelves until I decided whether I wanted to do built-in shelves.

She went home to change into her suit. She told me to just come in the side gate, and to bring a towel. I got to the pool before her and got in. The water was perfect and very clean. I figured she used a service.

Toni came out the door. Her suit was stunning! No wonder she kept Don's attention all those years! It was a black one-piece suit, the kind a much younger woman would love to be able to wear. High cut on the thighs, thong in back. Showing her ass. Brave for a woman of 45, but she pulled it off magnificently.

Then I noticed her breasts and nipples. Showstoppers. I was staring and had to look away.

We swam around in the pool and talked, until she tried dunking me.

"Are you sure you want to kick over that hornets' nest?"

"It only matters if you can catch me."

Home pool advantage. She knew the local tricks and she was fast. Just when I thought I had her cornered, she knew how to launch herself out of the pool so quickly I couldn't catch her.

I figured out a strategy. She would run partway around the pool and dive in, but she would remain underwater for a few seconds. The next time she got out I was slowly moving in the direction she liked to run. As she dove, I dove under the water and swam towards her.

She surfaced just as I came up behind her and grabbed her, my arms around her waist. She screamed. I dunked her and pulled her back up and into my arms. I held her in my arms as she laughed.

"You cheated."

"How did I cheat? There aren't any rules in pool dunking."

We leaned against the side of the pool, and I still had my arm around her. Her head was on my shoulder, only because I was holding her up. Her feet weren't touching the bottom of the pool. We stayed like that for several minutes.

"I like it when you hold me like this."

She kissed me on the cheek. Then she tried to dunk me! Her problem was she had no leverage. I was still holding her against me and her feet weren't touching.

"Oh, oh. You wouldn't be mean and dunk me again."

I dunked her.

She came up laughing.

"So it's war!"

"Not at all. Hey, let's go buy some steaks and I'll grill them for dinner."

"Perfect. Medium for me. Do you want baked potatoes and a salad?"

"That sounds great. I'll go shower and come and get you in 45? Does that work?"

We had a high-end grocery store and the butcher there carried a few prime cuts. I picked out a couple of nicely-marbled New York cuts. Toni headed off to get stuff for a salad and a couple of nice Russet potatoes.

That evening at my house, we started prepping and cooking. Toni had the potatoes in the oven. I was happy to see she knew better than to wrap them in foil to bake them. She even prepped the skin the same way I do. Oil and then kosher salt. The result is a nice, crispy skin, instead of a mushy semi-steamed one.

I had prepped the steaks with my favorite dry rub, and I started them on the grill. On the hot side to sear at first.

As Toni cut up things for a salad, I realized I only had one bottle of dressing, so she ran over to her house and brought three more to choose from.

After about 30 minutes everything was ready. The steaks had been resting for a little over five minutes, so they were good to go. We dished everything up and sat down to eat.

I looked up at Toni. She had just taken a bite of her steak.

"Ok, I'm seriously impressed. That's a wonderful steak. Do you cook much?"

"A fair amount. I love to cook, but it's hard to get excited cooking for one. I'd love it if we ate together often. We would cook better food."

"I'd like that a lot."

We did the dishes together. Well, most things went in the dishwasher.

"Come sit on the sofa with me."

She came over and sat next to me and immediately leaned in as I put my arm around her.

"This is nice. It's been a fun day. Thanks for cooking such great steaks."

"Are you feeling better tonight?"

"So much better! I think I'll be alright tonight."

"I'm glad you feel that way. Your promise to me is still in force, though."

"I know. Thanks for caring."

"Are you ready for the hot tub?"

"I'll go change and be right back."

I was in the water before she returned. This time she was wearing a black bikini. A skimpy one. Her body amazed me. I was hard and she wasn't even next to me.

That changed right away. She snuggled in next to me.

"I love your suit."

"Too skimpy?"

"Absolutely not! I've just never known a woman in her 40s who could pull that off."

"This is maybe a little out there to ask, but are you hard?"

"Absolutely!"

"Good. That's a seal of approval from a handsome man."

"Can I ask? ... Are you wet?"

"Yes. Not for the first time today, either. Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said that."

"Would you like to go to the park tomorrow? The city park. The one with all the walks and picnic tables. We could take a lunch or even stop somewhere and get a pizza, or KFC, or Chinese. Anything."

"Ooooh, Chinese! I like that idea. You know what? I've spent five years taking care of Don. I had to be there for him, but I'm realizing how much I've missed the fun things we used to do together."

"What were your favorite things to do with him?"

"Camping. I have a tent trailer. It's in a storage unit with my gear. I have a pickup in the garage we towed it with. I haven't used the trailer in about four years, so we'd have to check it out first. The tires might be flat."

"I have an electric tire pump we can take, in case. I'd love to go camping. I've always just used my tent, but a tent trailer sounds nice. I have a stove and lantern as well. I put them in the garage yesterday.

"How about going Tuesday night to check it out. I can be home about 4:30."

"Let's plan on it."

"What did you like best about camping?"

"Walks together. Cooking breakfast outdoors. The smells of the forest. The night sky."

"Sex?"

She blushed. "Of course."

There were some tears in her eyes.

"You must have had some wonderful times with Don."

"We had a lot of great times together. Although.... Well, my one disappointment was never having a baby. Now it's probably too late for me."

"Have you hit menopause yet?"

"No, and my periods are still very regular. I know, TMI. I just think it might be high risk at my age."

"I've known two women, friends of Mom's, who had babies in their late 40s. Older than you. I think medical care is such that the risk is not as great as you think."

"Do you think it's too late, though? I mean for me to get serious about someone?"

"That's for you to figure out. You've known for five years Don was terminal. That's a lot of time to spend waiting, and your normal marriage relationship ended at some point, too. I'm sorry, that's a clumsy way to say it."

"I know what you mean. The last time we had sex was about four years ago. No dates. No swimming in our pool and playing around."

"No trying to dunk him?"

That made her laugh. "No dunking. Me of him or him of me. The last year, in some ways his personality changed, too. It was painful to see him decline. I felt helpless."

She started crying.

"I'm sorry, Toni. I swore to myself I wouldn't make you cry today."

"It's not your fault at all. Just the reality of what I went through. I guess there's a part of me that doesn't want to spend a year mourning. I feel like I've spent three years doing that already. I just don't want to wallow in grief any longer. How do I do that?"

"I have no idea. But I think sleeping well is an indicator of getting over the grief. And don't expect to get rid of it. It'll recede into the background. That's what Mom told me after Dad died. She said she still grieves, but it isn't the sharp painful grief anymore."

"How long did it take her?"

"I think something like 2-4 months. I'm sure it's different for everybody. Plus, you got a head start in many ways."

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Do you want to get out, Toni?"

"No. There's something I've wanted to say to you first. I'm surprised at how attracted I feel to you. You probably know I'm a flirt. I'm really not trying to get you into bed, at least not yet! I don't know how you feel about me, but I'm hoping we can date. I mean date a lot. I have so much fun with you, and that seems like a good sign, doesn't it?"

"I'm glad you said that. I've been worried, not wanting to push you into a relationship too soon, but I feel attracted to you as well. I think we're on the same page. I only want you to promise me something, and I'll make the same promise to you.

"If you get tired of spending time with me, please promise you'll tell me. I don't want us to dislike each other. We're neighbors!"

"I promise you the same thing, but to be honest, I can't see myself getting tired of being with you. There's something I should confess to now. I'm so turned on by your chest, sitting here in this hot tub! I just want to play with your chest hair."

"You're horny! Admit it!"

"I think I just said that. So are you, though. I've seen you looking at my nipples, among other things."

"Guilty as charged."

"What else have you been looking at?"

"Your ass in that one-piece suit. Your legs. This suit shows off your breasts nicely. You're the total babe. Maybe the prettiest girl I've slept with."

She blushed again. "You can say that to me, but please don't say it that way to anyone else."

"Never. Of course not. Can I ask you something else?"

"Yes, I would like you to kiss me."

"How did you know?"

"You were looking at my lips! I was hoping you wanted to kiss me."

We kissed. It was nice. Not overly long. Just a fun promise of more to come.

I held her tighter..

"What are you thinking?"

"How surprised I am to feel this way about you already."

"Yeah, same for me. It feels nice, though. Are you worried my feelings are just a rebound from Don's death?"

"Yes. But I know rebound is not why I'm interested in you. I broke up with Ashley a couple of years ago. No rebound here."

"Can I confess another secret?"

"Of course."

"When I saw you first thing yesterday, I thought you were one of the most handsome men I had seen in a long time. I threw that casserole together so I could have an excuse to go meet you."

"Did you have a fever?"

She laughed. Then she kissed me again. This was a more passionate kiss, and she moaned as my tongue sought hers. She turned in the water, turned towards me, and I reached down and held her in place with my hand on her ass. She moaned. I did too.

"Oh, wow! I'm glad we're standing in water, because your kisses are going to turn me into a puddle. I'll bet you're harder now."

"Yup. Very hard. I've decided I really like kissing you."

"I'm officially addicted."

"I think we should probably call it a night before we can't turn back. Don't you think?"

"As much as I want to say no, you're right. Walk me home?"

"I'd love to. Shall we shock the neighbors and kiss on your front porch?"