Dear John 10

February 14, 2010

Dear John,

I am writing you this letter to know how much I have adored you and how attracted to you I have become over the years that I have known you. I have watched you grow into the fine young man you are, and have been infatuated with you for a very long time.

I was going to wait until your high school graduation to give this to you, but after our conversation the other night at you 18th birthday dinner, I cannot. Everything that you said to me has brought my feelings to an overwhelming extent, and I don't want to hold them back any longer.

You told me how much you trusted me and respected me because I didn't treat you like anyone else in your life. You appreciated the fact that I treated you as an equal and not some kid just needing to blow off some steam, only to mock your feelings. You liked the fact that I listened unconditionally and gave you a chance to air your feelings without repercussions. Now, it's my turn.

My darling John, I am in love with you, and I want to take you and give you the gift of a lifetime by showing you what I truly mean. Perhaps it would be a learning experience for us both, or a long awaited seduction on my part, but I want to show you my true feelings. I promise you that I will never hurt you; I only want to give you the love and passion that I have been holding back for so long, awaiting this moment in time when I can openly give you what I have always wanted to; myself, fully.

However, I realize that even at eighteen, you are still young, and that does matter very much to me because I don't want you to be hurt, or afraid of what I wish to show you. I would love to show you what a mature woman has to share, and teach you what it is like to love a woman. If you should feel uncomfortable with my seduction of you, I promise, I will walk away from you knowing that I was honest with my feelings for you and that I told you everything about my hearts desires for you.

I know I am not the only woman who has longed for the seduction of sex, or the long lovemaking sessions that come with age and experience, that is one of the things I wish to share with you; my experience. More than that, I want to feel your kiss, and guide you in the mastery of a woman: how to experience her, and not be afraid to open yourself or your heart to her and enjoy each other fully.

I know that I will not be your only lover because I can not offer you everything you will seek in your life, but I want to show you how much I have to give you, not just sexually, but lovingly, emotionally, purely.

You and I have always been very close, and what you said to me the other night at dinner touched my heart deeply. The strength of your hug when we left after our private conversation said more than your words could ever speak. Yet, you seduced me with your words and ways that I have long forgotten, and that encapsulated me all the more.

How could I explain to you that I wanted you to follow me home and make love to me? Yet, today I can do exactly that, I can be with you without fear of any repercussions. I long to make love with you; show you the beautiful things we have talked about for so long, open myself to you as you open yourself to me in passionate ways we have only discussed openly with each other.

When you held my hand and told me the reasons that you spent so much time with me, I couldn't believe my ears, but my heart was pounding so deeply in them, I wasn't sure what I was hearing.

As I recall, your words were, "I love you, I have forever, but you are old enough to be my mother, and I am afraid to go any further with my emotions until I am sure." You paused, taking a deep breath and looked at me with so much affection in your eyes before you continued, "I only have one birthday wish, and that is to be with you. I'm not sure how things will work out, but if I can only have one present for my birthday, I want it to be making love to you."

I was so taken aback by what you said to me, tears rolled down my cheeks, and I tightened my grip on your hand. You slid closer to me in the bench seat at the restaurant and held me.

I noticed a few people looking at us, but it didn't bother me, and it didn't bother you either because you slipped a kiss to my lips and told me not to worry, things were going to work out between us now that we knew what we wanted with each other.

So here I am my love, awaiting you on this night, this Valentines night, to show you how much I have to give you, how much I love you, how much I wish to be with you. I am waiting for the moment you take me and make me yours. I have fantasized about you for so long, watching you grow into the fine young man you are, the bold and strong person you have become.

I long to have you touch me, caress me, take my womanly folds and claim them as your own, using the strength of your love to conquer the territory of my body you continue to seduce. I want to express my feelings with physical, sensual, and emotional contact. I want to touch you and seduce you, love you passionately, fully, and completely.

You confessed your feelings for me, and I returned mine to you, but we were both in a position where we could not fully express them, now, we have the chance to do that, bask in the glory of our love for each other. I want to express to you my love totally, in any way that I can.

I do not know how to express myself any more to you than the ways I know best, emotional, sexually, verbally, and on this written page...My sweet, sweet John, I do understand if you choose to walk away, leaving things as they are. I promise, I respect you and love you enough to understand if you make that choice..

I will Love, for always,

Kristan

***

A week after of not seeing him since the Saturday evening dinner we always had, I left the letter on the windshield of his truck, soon to receive a phone call from him to confirm our plans...

"Hello?" I answered, hoping that it was him.

His deep voice came from the other end, "Hello Kristan."

"Hi John, did you get my letter?"

"Yes, I did. I want you to know that I am very excited about our date. I do hope it is as pleasant as our last outing. I hope it is more."

"I do also." I whispered.

I knew he was home, and his mother was probably sitting within listening distance. She was very strict, a bible thumping type. I, on the other hand, believe in freedom of feelings and choices, not shoving things down your throat unless you are accepting of them. I think that was a big part of Johns attraction to me.

"Shall I bring anything along?"

"If you think you should, then yes. But no worries as far as conception, I took care of that ages ago." I laughed.

"I'll pick you at seven then." He was very quiet for a moment and then whispered, "I can't wait until tonight, I know I will have the best gift any man could ever recieve." He paused, then softly spoke, "I love you."

"I love you John." I whispered back, yet, I don't know why, because I was the only one in the room.

At seven, he picked me up and we headed to the hotel.

The dining room was most exquisite, and the crowd dining there that night was a mixture of hotel patrons and dinner guests. The elaborate meal they were serving for the holiday meal was over abundant in, what I like to call, Sexual Bliss, many libido-enhancing offerings on the menu for the evening meal.

John and I sat close together and giggled and talked, he stole a kiss now and again, and held my hand, wrapped his arm around my shoulders, placed his hand on my leg, among other things. I was so happy to have his attention, I hardly ate.

The champagne was wonderful as well, and we finished off our bottle at dinner, only to find another waiting for us in the room. I really don't think we needed it, because we both wanted to be with each other more than anything else.

Yes, we were both nervous, and for good reason, but those were soon put at ease when he turned on the radio and took me in his arms. John is six foot six, and I stand about five-five, so looking up into his green-gray eyes and holding onto his stout frame was amazing as he slowly danced me around the suite.

He brought my lips to meet his and it was amazingly soft and tender the way he kissed me. I expected some ravishing young horny man, but no, he was every bit as gentle as an experienced man who had been longing for companionship, and knew how to take his time and love his partner. I was in heaven. I had never felt so much love and passion in my lifetime; he took my breath away with every movement he made.

"I have waited so long for this," he whispered as he drew his lips from mine.

"I have too." I smiled back.

"Let me show you how much I love you Kristan."

"Yes," was all I could say.

He picked me up and carried me to the bed, laying me softly down, and coming to lie beside me. His shirt was open and I could smell the strength of his body as he partially covered mine. His hands worked gently over my back, drawing me into him, and his body's natural movement encapsulated my own.

It wasn't long before we lay there naked in each others arms, and he slipped between my legs, his manhood standing strong. I thought I was going to be the one in control, but when he found my wetness and pushed deep into my body, I knew I had lost, and didn't care.

"You're so tight," he whispered as his body covered mine, his hands wrapping under my shoulders to draw us closer together. It was all I could do to breathe as he plunged into me, masterful strokes taking the full length of my wet tunnel. I felt myself melt into him, finding my hands caressing his back, feeling the taught muscles in his shoulders and further down as I let my hands wander for grip.

Our rhythm was perfect, and I was coming before I realized it. If it wasn't for his lips overtaking mine, I think my moans would have echoed off the walls. I could hear my heart beating in my ears as he continued to pump in and out of my swollen wet walls. "Oh John, John," I could hear myself say to him, "I never, oh yes..."

I could feel him tighten inside of me and his voice came softly against my neck as he kissed up to my lips, "I'm ready to come, tell me you want me to come inside of you, baby." I felt him tense, and knew even if I didn't say yes, he was going to explode deep into my pussy.

"Yes, come, bind me to you, make me yours." I pleaded in gasping breaths.

"Kristan, tonight, I make you mine." and with his words, he let loose a flood of heat into the depths of my body, heart and soul.

***

John and I spent the rest of winter, all of spring, and summer together. He moved into my home and we shared our life with more joy than I had ever known in my past. He had chosen to join the Marines and when fall came, he left me for basic training, but what we shared for those nine months, was perfect, unconditional love.

Before he left, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes. When he returned from boot camp on his temporary leave and before shipping out for his tour of duty, we were married, (on Valentines Day no less), and he went to war knowing that our love was a bond that no one could break.

***

February 14, 2014

Dear John,

I love you, and I miss you. I cherish what we have together, and I am glad that you are part of my life, more than you will ever know. I love you John. I will love you always.

Your wife,

Kristen

I knelt before his grave, my hands shaking as I placed the note in the urn that sat before his headstone, holding onto the flowers just a moment longer before putting them inside there as well. "Thank you for loving me the way you do, I will always love you John."