Inspiration struck me one evening when I was out with my partner, Sasha, and a mix of our friends, including Lily. After a few drinks we began trying to one up each other with sexual misadventures. Lily began her tale by describing the hardpoint hooks she had installed in her bedroom ceiling for the purposes of rope suspension. This had never occurred to me and I zoned out, distracted and inspired by ideas for how I could use them in my bedroom. Design ideas spun through my head, and I only caught the end of the story. :Lily, after being secured to her brand new hard points, body suspended off the ground by intricate knots, she had to be untied, quickly, to go pee.
After jeers and jokes along the lines of "rookie mistake" and "you're not into golden showers?" died down, I asked her for help installing my own. See, my house is really old, and my room in particular gets cold in the winter. I wanted to use those hardpoints to build a blanket fort! Turn it into a cozy nest with strings of lights, pillows, and lots of soft - make it a place to be cozy and warm with a book on the worst winter night. That was the plan... You know what they say about plans.
Over the next week I found the studs around my bed and bought the hardware. I asked Lily if she would help me put everything together. I'm not great with housework like that, and she is. Plus, it's always easier to actually do something like this if another person is involved.
When she showed up on Saturday, wearing a leather jacket, her short black hair already tucked away in a bandana, and she had a canvas bag full of tools in her hand. I was barefoot and she was in boots, so she was just a smidge taller than me.
Lily pulled me into a hug as soon as she came through the door. Pressed into the curve of her neck, scents of leather and shampoo fill me up. Lily's strong, she looks it, she knows it, and she does not hold back when giving a hug. This hug was hard enough to make me squeak and leave me a little weak kneed. It was a really good hug.
After hanging up her jacket, she picked up her canvas bag that clinked as the tools in it resettled. "C'mon, show me what we're working with," she said with a smile, "this is going to be the best blanket fort ever!"
"I'm kinda surprised you are not teasing me about this, based on your stories. This setup is meant to be soft, not sexy at all." I followed her through my house, as if I were the guest.
"Listen, I'm not one to yuck another person's yum," she said while I put shoes on. "Just because I really like being bound to the ceiling while I'm forced to hold a vibrator between my legs, or beaten..."
"Or eaten until you're jelly, or fucked like an object," I filled in.
"You get it!" she quipped back.
"It doesn't mean the thing that brings you pleasure is less valid." Lily continued earnestly. "If a nest of soft is what you want then I'm here for it! Besides, anyone who says soft can't be kinky is wrong, and ignorant, or boring." She put a hand on my shoulder, I could feel it's warmth from her gentle squeeze. "C'mon, let's see what we are working with."
Lily winked as she walked by. I felt myself start to blush. I'd always thought she was cute, but this was new. She was in her element, in project mode before she had entered my house, and I was feeling like her bumbling apprentice. Fuck.
Lily had been a guest often enough that she knew the house and led us to my bedroom. I impressed her by having the studs marked and all the mounts we'd be using set out. We were clearing things out of the way when the drawer in the bedside table she was moving slid open.
"Look at all this!" She exclaimed like she'd found buried treasure and held up a little leather pocket. "What's in here?" Out came a little wheel, covered in spikes attached to a metal handle. I started to blush, again.
"I knew you had it in you!" she leered at me as she held up the Wartenberg wheel. "And I didn't know you'd had this in you!" She'd put down the wheel and picked up a silken opera glove with metal fingertips.
"That's my claw glove," I mumbled.
"I've never seen something like this before! It looks amazing! Can I put it on?" She was sliding it across her hand so the pieces of sewn on metal, which looked like rings turned into broad claws, clinked and tickled her palm.
"C-can we do the mounts first?" I could feel the blush spreading out from my face and down my neck.
"Oh, god, yes, I'm sorry." Lily put everything back where it had been in the drawer and finished moving the table out of the way. She sat down on the drawer and looked at me earnestly. "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable!"
"It's okay, it's not a thing I share with a lot of folks. Just my partner or people I'm dating." I went to grab one end of the bed and motioned with my head for her to get the other.
"One, two, three!" With the workspace now clear of obstacles we took a second, sitting on the bed we'd just moved. I was hyper-aware of Lily's arm resting against mine. Watching movies together or sharing a booth in a restaurant with her had never caused goosebumps before. It felt full of promise, like the anticipation of the first sip of tea.
"Gods," she laughed, "it is so dusty under your bed. Good thing we are making more of a mess or I'd suggest we clean it up first. Let's get to it."
Setting the mounts took little time. Putting up the rope, with all the requisite kinky jokes from my friend, then hanging and securing the fuzzy sheets to make the fort, took enough effort that Lily demanded a break when they were finally hung.
"Why didn't you just get curtains?" She took my proffered cup of water. Her fingers warm on mine. I wanted them to linger there.
"Not comfy enough. Nest. All the comfy and soft, that's the goal." I couldn't help bouncing with excitement. A little water spilled out of my cup.
"That's it? No tying up your partner or a lover?" Her look, over the rim of her cup, was almost mocking, but I could see curiosity as well. Her eyes never left mine.
"That's going to be down to the date space, since we've got the room. Up there is going to be a space for cuddles, soft, and comfy, and" I paused to get the right word, "indolence. Most of those toys you saw in that drawer," I could feel a blush starting again, "are Sasha's and will be downstairs. That will be where people can get as sweaty and sticky as they want."
"Does that include the wheel and the glove? I'm curious about those." Lily was leaning against the counter, her hands resting on the edge, her head cocked. She was grinning at me, knowing it was making my blush worse! It must have been creeping down my chest at this point.
I finished my water in a gulp. "Let's finish the rest up, yeah?" Then rushed up the stairs.
Stringing the fairy lights, getting the floor swept and all the furniture back in place took next to no time. Inside we layered pillows, a couple soft stuffed animals, and a comforter. The light was soft and warm, and if more was needed for reading I could move aside the blanket blocking my nightstand and use the table lamp.
I flung myself into my new nest before even kicking shoes off.
"Oh my god, it's perfect! Come on, check it out!" I had to kick my feet, which were still hanging off the bed, to release some of the energy.
"Okay," Lily said, sitting in the stuffed chair on the other side of the room, "but maybe take your shoes off before you make a mess?" She was already untying her own.
"Right!" I scrunched up, feet in the air to untie them. "Come cuddle! And make sure you close the side when you get in."
Lily crawled into my new nest and, still on hands and knees, looked around. "Hold on, one thing's not quite right."
She climbed back out and flicked off the overhead lights in the room. My nest was aglow from the fairy lights strung above us. it was perfect! I was laying in the middle of my bed and it was like being in the center of my own warm, soft, cozy campfire. Lily crawled in next to me and laid her head next to my shoulder.
"This really is perfect for you, isn't it?" I knew she was staring at me, but I was so enraptured with the how amazing my space was, layered in blankets and pillows, the lights' pattern on the ceiling I looking like clouds. Lily lifted my arm up so she could scooch in and lay her head in the crook of my shoulder. I was suddenly very aware of her body pressed against mine.
"It really is cozy in here," she murmured, her voice low, only for me. Her smile wasn't the mischievous grin from the kitchen, it was more sincere. From my shoulder she had to look up, through her eyelashes. I still felt like I was following her around, not sure what to do next.
"Um..." I really couldn't think of anything else to say. I was very aware of her thigh resting against my knee, her stomach curved to my hip, and her chest pressed to my side. Every breath added light pressure against my ribs, then receded. I had no idea what to do with my body. Trying to force my muscles to relax didn't work, I could feel everything getting tense.
"You said cuddle, do you still want to? Maybe as little spoon?" Suggested Lily.
I could feel her pulling back just a little, making space. I rolled only my side and pressed back into her. That felt better and I started to relax. My body molded into hers, still hyper-aware of her there with me, but the stress of being perceived was gone. Her arm rested across my stomach, the front of her thighs against the back of mine. I adjusted my hips and back to fit more snuggly into the curve of her body. Our breathing began to sync.
It had gotten warmer in the nest, the kind of warmth that sucks the energy out of a person and makes them want to nap. I could smell the fresh sweat from both of us. It wasn't smelly, yet, but tickled the inside of my nose. Between that, the cozy warmth building in my nest, and the pressure of her body against mine I started to relax.
Have you ever had a conversation with someone, or maybe a dance, where everything was perfectly in tune? Every phrase matched with a "yes and," building upon each other? Maybe it is strange to describe a cuddle like that, but every little adjustment I made she matched. Each part of our bodies sought to create more connection. My feet and hers twined together. My calves against her shins in a sandwich. Our knees bent like they had been formed together by a craftsman, perfectly shaped so our thighs melted against each other. Her chest rising and falling against my back, guiding our breaths to the same rhythm.
But it's the hips that make a good spoon, big or little. They need to fit just right. I always feel safe when I'm the little spoon, my butt pressed into another person's hips. Like I belong, there, to them, warm and safe. Being the big spoon is just as good, I can tell how comfortable and safe a person is by how much they try to match their contours with mine. And it all starts with the hips. Ours fit perfectly.
