To the person in the center seat
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"Hey, I'll trade you these Sun Chips for your granola bar."
"Done and done! I don't even have to stop and think about that."
The girl sitting next to me on the plane--Jennifer--boarded the plane in Miami with me. We were seated next to each other on that flight, had lunch together in Atlanta, and then headed for the gate for the flight to Denver.
No, we were not traveling together. We had never met before leaving Miami. I had spent a week down there for work--an assignment to troubleshoot a company's local office. The problem was easy to diagnose--the manager was an asshole. The problem was, he was the son of the company's president.
Yeah. I had no idea what recommendation I could make, other than, "Hey, Mr. President, did you know your son is an asshole?" As a consultant, I can say that kind of thing, so I might.
Jennifer had boarded a plane in Costa Rica and flown to Miami. She was visiting a friend there--in Costa Rica. Now flying home to Denver. Same as me.
I had the aisle seat. For a while I thought I might have an empty middle seat next to me. You know how when you think that might happen, you scan the people coming down the aisle? Then you see the one. A 300-pound dude, a mother with a small screaming child, or a ZZ-Top dropout who may or may not have bathed yet this month.
To my surprise, none of those appeared. I was still looking past the passengers near me when Jennifer bent over and motioned that the seat in the middle was hers. She was cute. Not at all the fulfillment of my worst fears.
I stood to allow her to get into her seat. It is the gentlemanly thing to do. Also the best way to check her out.
Really cute. Late 20's, 5'5", or about that. Fit. Brunette with lighter highlights.
"Hi, I'm Matt."
"Jennifer."
We talked all the way to Atlanta. At the next gate, after lunch together, we compared seat assignments. Nowhere near each other.
"Come on, Matt, let's go see about getting seats together."
That's how I learned her last name: Petersen. Jennifer Petersen.
Amazingly, there were a few empty seats on the plane. Unfortunately, I was on the window now. The sacrifices we make for a cute girl!
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Once we were in the air, we had a chance to talk more. I learned Jen--her preferred nickname--was 27. Graduated from Fresno State. B.S. in computer science. Masters in IT Management. Working in Denver for a startup high tech company with serious VC funding.
Cute and brilliant. I like that in a girl!
"I've done all the talking, Mark. Please tell me about you."
"Well, I got a degree in Organizational Behavior, then a master's and a Ph.D. Boring, one-track educational history. I work as a consultant and manage to keep busy."
"Do you like being a consultant?"
"I spent the first five years with a company. Loved the experience. OB is not like IT. OB gets cut first if business slows. When that happened, I decided to hang out my shingle."
"How has it worked out?"
"Eight years now. Every year I have made at least 40% more money than I did as an employee. I like being my own boss, too."
"Do you work from home?"
"Yes. That's another perk."
"Family?"
"No. Never married. Not living with anyone. Just me. I bought a home a few years ago. Sometimes a cousin drops in for a free room overnight. How about you?"
"Not married, but I have a boyfriend. Sort of."
I laughed. "What does 'sort of' mean?"
"We've been together for three years. I thought we would get married, but when I ask about it, he shrugs it off and says marriage isn't for him. That's part of the reason I went to Costa Rica."
"He's there?"
"No, my closest friend lives there. Her husband is with the State Department and is assigned there now. I went to talk to her about it."
"Did she give you advice?"
"Sort of."
"Do you have any friends who don't fall into the 'sort of' category?"
Her turn to laugh. "She said I needed to decide what was most important to me. My most cherished goal in life."
"You wanted her to tell you what to do."
"Right. Exactly! She's smart, though, right?"
"She is. That's excellent advice. What matters most to you?"
"I'm still working on that, but I went down there thinking marriage was it."
"Now you aren't sure?"
"No. I said that wrong. I thought marriage was it. Alone. I spent a few days with them and their two kids...."
Her eyes filled with tears. I didn't see our talk getting this serious. This deep.
"I came away from that realizing it isn't just marriage I want. It's a family. All through college I was fed this feminist stuff about being a professional woman and not needing a man or children. How they just get in the way of our goals. Only now I see my career goals are not as fulfilling as I thought."
"Is it just your experience there in Costa Rica that did this?"
"No. A growing feeling inside. I loved my family growing up. My parents. My brother and sister. I was lucky. Such a good family. I was surrounded by love. That has to mean more than anything else.
"Tell me about your family, Mark."
"I have two sisters. Both older."
"You're the baby of the family."
"Yeah, but only by two years. My parents are wonderful. I had a good childhood."
"Since we're on such a serious topic, what are your most cherished goals?"
"Well ... I haven't met the right woman yet, but I want to get married. I'm 35 years old. I thought I'd be married by now. Children, too. Maybe it isn't meant to be for me."
What the hell? Now I had tears in my eyes. What kind of flight was this?
"When I said 'sort of' about my boyfriend ... I'm going home to break up with him. We don't want the same things, but I hate being single. Hate it!"
Now it was her time for tears.
I reached over and took her hand.
"Look at us. We just met today and managed to make each other cry!"
"Not a bad start."