Confessions

Prologue

Six months ago...

I hurriedly grabbed a thin jacket from the coat rack in the foyer, tossing it over my shoulder.

"Where are you going now?" My mother asked brazenly. I sighed, I didn't want to fight with her tonight. Our fights always ended with her empty threats to send me to New York with my aunt Savannah, every year since I started highschool.

"Alex is picking me up, we are going on a date." I said, shifting my weight to my other leg, crossing my arms.

"You're still with him?" She scoffed, sipping her wine. "A girl like you, shouldn't be with a guy like that." She huffed, burning me with her gaze.

"What is that supposed to mean mom? A girl like me?" I shot back, tucking my long thick brown curls behind my ear.

"Well, you know what I meant. He's too good looking for you."I scoffed, my anger starting to boil.

"What am I not good looking enough?" I snapped back, reaching for the door. "How can you say that to me, you're supposed to be my mother." She smirked, sipping her wine causally.

"Honey, you're not a cheerleader." She said cooly, making my anger flare.

"Well at least I'm not a bitch. No wonder dad left you."I lash back, pulling the front door open, slamming it loudly. I really couldn't believe my mother sometimes. It was like she got off on treating me like shit. I know that was wrong of me to say. My dad was a raging alcoholic, he didn't just leave my mother. He left my brother and I as well. She knew I was a great student, I had all A's last semester and I even picked up a part time job last summer. She was a piece of work, my mother, sometimes I just wanted to hate her.

Alex was parked outside in his black Chevy pick up truck. The music blaring from his speakers, I opened the door, pulling myself up into the passenger seat.

"Hey babe." He said, giving me a quick kiss on my cheek, turning the music down. Alex was wearing a tight black tee that clung to his smooth pale skin. A pair of dark blue jeans gripped his thighs.

'Hi." I said shortly, clicking my seatbelt on.

"What's wrong?" He asked, pulling onto the street. I sighed, pulling at my curls.

"My mom, she's just so ignorant sometimes." He grabbed my hand, stroking my palm.

"I'm sorry, well at least you're with me." He smiled, biting his lip. I nodded, gripping his hand tighter. He turned into the best diner in town, Pop's. "Hope you're hungry." He said, parking his truck. I loved the way he always tried to make me feel better, after arguments with my mother.

After we finished dinner Alex took us to the quarry. The stars blanketed the sky, the moon's light casting over us. He laid out a blanket on the huge rock that overlooked the darkness inside the quarry. I hopped up on the rock, my shorts sliding up my thick thighs as I sat. Alex hopped up in one quick motion, his long legs dangling off the rock.

"You look beautiful tonight." He said softly, tucking my curl behind my ear, cupping my face. I blushed heavily, grabbing his hand, nudging against it.

"Thank you, you always know how to make me feel better." I said, pulling his face into mine. Our lips intertwined, I let out a soft moan as his tongue clashed against mine. He tasted like the mint shake he had at dinner. He pulled me in, his hand wrapped on the back of my neck. He pulled back, his hazel eyes pouring into mine. He smirked, propping himself up on his forearms, gazing at the stars.

"Do you ever think about leaving here?" He asked, flipping his hair out of his eyes.

"Everyday." I said, leaning back. He laid back, tucking his arm behind his head. His mound of muscle showing through his black tee. I grabbed his torso, placing my head on his chest.

"Do you ever think you don't belong here." He asked, guiding his arm around my thick waist. He grazed my smooth mocha skin, with the tips of his fingers.

"Everyday." I chuckle, twisting the bottom of his shirt in my fingers.

"Yeah, I feel like if I don't leave here after highschool I will be stuck here." He breathed into my hair. "This town is nowhere fast."

"Yeah, well look at my mother. She's been here her whole life and now that she's married to Carl. She's like a fucking robot, go to work, come home, bitch, not bitch. I hate it here sometimes, everyone knows your business and the bad side of town is loaded with meth. I can't wait to leave here, give myself a chance to not become bitter like my mom." I said, my fingers trailing the outlines of his hard abs. He inhaled deeply, running his long fingers down my back.

"I just want to get away from my family, as far away as possible. Somewhere the Walsh name has no power." I looked up at him, his eyes filled with anger. Alex never talked about his family, I hadn't even met them yet. They were rich, owned a lot of the businesses in town and a lot of land two hours north. Alex sighed, running his free hand over his face.

"Are you okay?" I asked, rubbing his strong jaw.

"Yes. I just got into it with my dad today about football next year. Coach wants me on the starting line next year, so that means more training and less time with you this summer." He sighed again, squeezing me. I sat up, tucking my hair, looking at him.

"Alex, if that's what you have to do then do it. I will be here after practice," I paused, pulling up his shirt kissing his toned chest softly; looking up at him. "Before practice. We will have time to hang and enjoy the summer. If football will get you far away from here use it." I said, kissing down his torso to his v-cut waistline. He sat up, growling in my ear.

"You better stop that, before I get hard." He said, tugging at the bottom of my shorts, cupping my perfectly round ass in his large hands. I blushed, pushing my head into his chest.

"I'm sorry. I can't help myself sometimes, you just.." I paused, looking up into his lustful eyes. "Turn me on." He smirked, kissing my forehead lightly.

"You turn me on too, Aubrey." He whispered in my ear, grabbing my hand and rubbing it over his erection. I felt my cheeks flush, my body buzzing. I moved my hand swiftly, giggling nervously. Alex and I were still exploring each other's bodies. Just thinking about his tongue on my soft bud, sent a jolt through my body. I kissed him, nuzzling into his neck, he laid us back on the blanket. He rubbed my back gently, looking back up at the stars.

One month later...

I knew I had to confront him about what Jessica said earlier today. Rumors circled wildly in our little town, spreading like wildfire. All I knew is that Alex had supposedly slept with Kristen Snyder, the JV cheerleader at our school. My anger flared and I was breathing heavily as I slammed my car door, peeling out onto the street. There was no way he would do this to me. No fucking way. I barreled across the highway that went through the town, rushing to Alex's gated community fifteen minutes away. I tried to calm myself, trying to talk myself down. He wouldn't. He wouldn't fucking do this to me. As I turned into his neighborhood, the mansions passing by quickly, I texted him to come outside. I pulled into his mile long driveway, breaking hard, slamming my car in park. He was standing outside, a smile spewed across his face. I scowled, slamming my car door.

"What the fuck Alex!" I yelled, looking up to him. He frowned, running his hand through his hair.

"What! What's your problem!" He yelled back, stepping back. I scoffed, pacing back and forth; angrily.

"My problem! So the rumors are all bullshit, you didn't sleep with Kristen right?" I spat back, throwing my hands in the air. The color drained from his face, he punched the air, cursing under his breath. "What! You're fucking kidding me right?! You fucked her!" I screamed, the tears filling my eyes. He went to reach for my arm, I yanked it back; stepping back.

"I..I..I'm sorry Aubrey!" He yelled, pausing. "I fucked up." His voice low, he tugged at his hair.

"You fucked up! I'd say that was a fucking understatement!" I screamed, wanting to slap him in his handsome face.

"She was just a quick fuck!" He yelled back, running his hand through his shaggy brown hair. His words cut me, like he was reasoning with himself that it was acceptable.

"She obviously wasn't just a quick fuck, because you've been doing it for months!" I yelled back, turning quickly to walk away. He pulled at my arm, stopping me from taking another step.

"No, I promise it was out of a drunken lust, one time. She meant nothing, she is nothing. I don't want her, I promise Aubrey." He cried, pulling me into his toned chest. For a moment, I lay my head in his chest, listening to his heartbeat rapidly. I pulled back, tears coating my eyes.

"Then why would you do it?" I said, through soft sobs. I looked up into his bright hazel eyes, tears were building up in his eyes. He pulled back, letting my arms fall.

"I.." He paused, pulling his arm to his side. "I don't know why okay? It just happened, I wish I could take it back." He said, rubbing his bare bicep. He tugged at his teal tank top, kicking his foot into the ground.

"Well, I can't...I can't believe you would do this to me! I can't believe you threw away our almost one year relationship for a "drunken night"! Like how could you ever think I would be okay with this Alex? Why would you think I would accept you fucking other girls? Oh it's because you weren't getting it from me! That is what Jessica said Kyle Smith told her! You bragged to your friends about it! You humiliated me, you obviously never cared about me! You know what, fuck you! Fuck you! I am worth more than that and you. You can be rich, you can be popular but at least I'm not a liar!" I screamed, walking towards my car. He quickly walked up next to me, trying to grab my arm.

"No, Aubrey, I do care! I do, I fucked up please!" He begged, pulling at my arm. "Please give me a second chance! I love you!" He blurted loudly, I stopped turning to him. That was the first time he'd ever said that to me. Those three little words just rolled off his tongue with ease. My body felt like it was going to buckle underneath me.

"If you loved me, you would've never done this to me." I said calmly, turning and walking down the driveway towards my car, swinging my door open. I turned the key over, peeling out of the driveway; tears cascading down my face. I turned down a side street, pulling over to the side of the road. I let my sobs come out, as my head hung on the steering wheel.

The next day, I woke up my eyes swollen. I turned over my smartphone, Jess and Emma had texted several times. I decided I didn't want to talk to anyone, I shut my phone off, throwing it on the ground. My heart hurt, I just felt so betrayed by what Alex did, like how, why would he do this to me? I sobbed lightly in my pillow, trying to find comfort. My tears drowned my pillow, my body ached. I knew I had to get out of my bed, but my body wouldn't move. I sobbed harder into my pillow, a sudden soft tap on my door startled me.

"Aubrey." Steve said, cracking the door open; peeking his head through. I pushed my tears away, sitting up swiftly.

"Hey Steve," I paused, my voice cracking a little. "What's up little brother." My voice breaking when I said little. He walked over to my bed, sitting down.

"Are you okay? I heard you crying all night." He paused, rubbing his hands together. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He looked at me, his brown eyes laced with sadness.

"I am okay, I promise." I said shortly, pulling the blankets up to my chest. He nodded, standing up, walking over to the door.

"If you need anything, just let me know." He said softly, sweetly, closing my door behind him. I threw my body back into my pillow, gripping it tightly. I was so fucked up and now my brother knew. He heard me crying, fuck Aubrey. I sank back into my pillow, letting the warm tears calm me.