Chapter 9
The next day we set out early to finish our dealing with the sales agent. We figured if we managed to wrap up things quickly enough we could head back to the city the same day and use the last vacation day to do something fun.
Unfortunately the estate agent got delayed and it was noon by the time we were finally able to leave Max's hometown, Shelby. I was pretty sure he was never going to return to that place ever again- he had no reason to anymore- and yet, I was a little surprised that he didn't turn around to look back even once, not even when he pulled out of the driveway of his old home for one last and final time.
Traffic crawled at a snail's pace on our drive back and it was past midnight when we finally reached the city. Max was wiped out by the time we finally reached his place. I wanted to take a cab back to my apartment but he refused to let me leave alone that late and insisted that I spend the night at his.
"You already have your bag with you." Was the reason he offered, for why I should stay the night.
I woke up the next morning cocooned in Max's arms, feeling wonderful. It was early, too early for him to be awake yet. I thought I could go to my apartment, water my plants and return with a change of clothes before Max awoke.
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After spending three days with Max, returning to my apartment all alone felt weird.
You miss him.
That didn't make any sense because it was barely an hour ago that I had woken up beside him.
I watered my plants, showered and changed. I packed a small bag of essentials and headed back to Max's place.
When I rang the buzzer to be allowed into his building he sounded sleepy and confused about how I came to be outside instead of in his bed.
I entered his apartment to be immediately I confronted, "You left, without saying anything."
"But I'm back
now
."I said.
"That's not the point.
You left
."
"Just to clean up and..."
"Move in with me."
"What?"
"You heard me."
"I did... What did you mean?"
"Just, what it sounded like."
"I can't just move in."
"Why?"
"Because."
"... because?"
"Just because."
"Is there someone else you'd rather be with?"
"No." I said without any hesitation.
"Don't you like being with me?"
"No. I mean yes. Yes, I do."
"So, what's the problem?"
"It's complicated."
"What is?"
"This is." I said pointing to the vacant space between us.
"I don't understand."
"Me neither."
"Nayana," he cooed in a soothing tone, "we already spend so much time together. We have fun together. Having you live here will just be so much more convenient."
You're convenient.
The word bothered me more than it should have.
"You don't have to decide now. Just think about it, ok?"
I nodded mutely.
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We tried ignoring the elephant in the room but by the time we finished lunch Max couldn't take it anymore.
"Okay, just spill whatever it is you've got running around in your head."
"I can't move in with you." I whispered.
"Why?"
I didn't answer, so he drew me to him and pulled me to sit in his lap.
"Nayana, why don't you want to move in with me?"
"Because that would complicate things." I said softly.
"Complicate things? How?"
I looked at his face and his questioning blue eyes and considered telling him that he was not my type that he was not Indian, that he was younger than me, that we had nothing in common but physical chemistry.
I considered telling him that moving in was a bad idea because he was still on the rebound and I couldn't invest any more of myself in this non-relationship. I thought about telling him how I had missed him after being away from him for only an hour and how much it affected me when he was affectionate towards me. I was in over my heels and unfortunately unlike him I had not been trained to be fearless of messy situations.
I did the only thing that made the most sense for my well being, I stood up, gathered my stuff and walked out. Max ran after me. He was saying something but I wasn't listening. My mind was building a fortress around me and was securing my safety- Max was the perceived threat that needed to be kept out.
Chapter 10
I stopped answering Max's calls. I called Kylie and gave her some bullshit excuse about my apartment being too noisy because my neighbours were renovating and checked if it was okay for me to stay at her place for a few weeks till they finished. Kylie is smart so I'm sure she must've known that I was lying but she's also a really good friend, so she didn't turn me away. A few days later I came clean with her. Thankfully she understood and approved of my course of action.
I caught a big break during my two week stay with Kylie. After months of hard work my boss had finally acknowledged my contributions and signed-off on my promotion. The bump in my pay meant that I could finally look for an apartment in a nicer and safer building than my current one.
Throughout my stay with Kylie and the weeks that followed my friends made sure that I had dates lined up for every night I was free. I was a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of eligible Indian men that had suddenly cropped up in the city.
When I finally moved to my apartment I was grateful to Kylie for having visited the place before me to remove any reminders of a certain someone. I had briefly mused over whether there had been messages on the answering machine or notes under the door and then laughed at my own silliness.
With the passage of time I came to realise that with determination and a li'l help from my friends it wasn't that hard to purge a person from my life. Of course sometimes in the nights when I lay in bed and touched myself, the annoying voice in my head would tell me that I wished it was someone else touching me. Fortunately, I had gotten really good at ignoring that annoying voice.
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"Dinner at Nomad bitches!" Kylie said yelling at me and Saira.
We were discussing her plans for her 33rd birthday the following week. My stomach did a flip at the mention of Nomad.
"Wow! I knew you were doing well just didn't realise you were doing
that
well." Saira said clapping excitedly.
"Nothin' bu de best fer ma grrls," Kylie replied.
It had been two months. I'd finally moved on I believed; I didn't see the point of ruining Kylie's day just to avoid the risk of bumping into Max. Besides, I told myself chefs worked in the kitchens and not in the restaurant.
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