As Tom drove down the road of the farm, he looked in his rear view mirror to see Ellen standing there on the porch. It reminded him of the first time he left her. She stood on the same steps, still waved, and it broke his heart then as it did now. This time it not only hurt, but burned inside of him like a hot fire iron scorching his insides. Yet he still left because in the reality of the day, there was the work he had to return to do. He had to finalize his divorce and free himself from a life that at one time he had desperately wanted. Now he wanted to separate himself from the unfeeling materialistic world he had created. If it hadn't been for his children and their wellbeing, he wouldn't have left Ellen that morning, He would have stayed with her letting go of work, the houses, the cars, and the money. In real life, it wasn't as easy as that. It had taken a long time to create what he had and it would take time to unravel all the threads to free himself from it. In bed making love to Ellen made it seem all sound so simple, so easy, but deep inside Tom knew he had to end things with his old life before he could build a new one with Ellen.
The night at the bed and breakfast was a restless one and more than once he had thought of driving back to Ellen and the farm, but something stopped him like it did all those years ago. What it was he couldn't say, but there was something back in the city that he needed to finish. The morning brought little relief as he started out early before the sun had risen in the sky. By the time he reached his office it would be the beginning of a new day and he dreaded the onslaught of clients and phone calls. There would be the meetings and endless cups of coffee to keep him going. The rat race at its very finest was looming in front of him.
Overwhelmed and frustrated, Tom pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car. He was confused. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't just leave his old world. His children needed him. There was college tuition, clients who depended on him to win their cases and of course the alimony his soon to be ex-wife, Camille wanted. He gripped the steering wheel tightly as if it was the only anchor he had in the storm that was raging in his head. Then he closed his eyes and the memory came back to him. It was the first time he and Ellen had decided to consummate their relationship and it began to calm and soothe him.
He had driven his newly purchased second hand red Ford pickup to Ellen's house around six pm. They would go into Holton and watch a movie at the United Theater then head down to the old Chaney Road that led to the river. That was the plan. He had never been with Ellen sexually and she had never been with anyone. He was her first and with the relationship heating up as it did every Saturday night, it was time he did it or he would burst inside. Tom had spent too many nights in his bedroom with tissues nearby stroking his shaft until he had cum to relieve the tension and desire for Ellen. Now he was determined. It was time he made love to her in person and put the fantasies to rest.
He drove up to the farm house and laid his hand on the horn. It blatted like a sick cow until Ellen came to the screen door. When she opened it, Tom's shaft stirred and he smiled. She was a slender girl with soft brown hair that hung below her shoulders and bounced when she walked. She work a pink sundress, the kind that was easy to slip off and she looked as innocent and pure as the day she was born. Tom felt awkward with his jeans and plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. It was all he had, but it was clean and Ellen never said anything. Ellen's family didn't have much, but Tom's family was poor and that bothered him. There was very little money and what money Tom had, he worked hard for. It had taken him months to make enough to purchase the red Ford Pickup that had seen better days.
Ellen ran down the steps of the porch and jumped inside the truck on the passenger side. She leaned over and gave Tom a quick kiss then slid over the bench seat to sit next him nearly straddling the stick shift on the floor to do so. Tom could feel the heat of her body next to his and he bit his lip in a vain attempt to keep his shaft from growing any further and making it even more uncomfortable for him to drive. Ellen didn't seem to notice as she snuggled up close while he desperately tried to maintain his calm. He put his hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze before shifting the gear into first and turning the truck around to head down the drive.
The movie they went to see had had been good, but Tom saw very little of it as he adjusted himself in his seat several times in anticipation as to what was to come. When the movie was over, he grabbed Ellen by the hand and almost ran out of the theater and back to the truck. Ellen nervously giggled anticipating what they were about to do and readily jumped into the truck again. It was well past dark and the moon was jutting into the sky by the time they reached Chaney road. The road was originally an old cow path that led to the river that had been widened and trampled on over the years. Tom drove down the road cautiously trying not to rattle his old truck, but that was inevitable as the vehicle bounced and creaked its way to the landing and stopped. The air was cool by the river and the crickets chirped their cries into the darkness. The shore was lapped at by waves of water and the moon cast a hazy glow. Tom and Ellen looked at each other with nervous intent.
"We're going to do this right?" Tom asked.
Ellen shook her head, "Yes, I want to."
Tom took a deep breath, "Ok."
Tom reached behind the seat of the truck and pulled out an old wool blanket. Both he and Ellen got out of the truck and the two headed towards the shore and stopped near a giant oak tree that seemed to stand vigilant over the water. He lay the blanket down underneath the tree and sat down patting the blanket next to him for Ellen to do the same. She quietly obliged and the two sat there for several moments before Tom leaned over and kissed Ellen like he never kissed her before with a passion that not only said I want you, but also told Ellen that he would be gentle.
They kissed for several minutes more with each one building their courage trying to dispel their nervousness. Soon desire took over and shoes, clothes, and underwear were tossed aside and the two lay naked in the moonlight. Tom ran his hand along Ellen's body feeling every curve. She caught her breath when his hand slid over her breast and lingered.
"You're so beautiful," he said his voice softly filled with desire.
"I was afraid you wouldn't like me," Ellen giggled nervously.
"I've never seen anything so beautiful not even in those girly magazines," Tom confessed.
