Cold Cold Heart

This story is based on the song 'Cold, Cold, Heart'. Hard to pick a category.I hope you enjoy it.

A big 'Thank You' to PennLady for taking the time to edit my story. She makes it a much better read.

****

My name is Ray Harman and I'm an over the road truck driver; I have been for twenty-five years. I'm often gone for days at a time, sometimes even a week or more. I try to stop home as often as I can and spend a couple of days at home before heading out again.

I was in Indiana heading for West Virginia when I got the brilliant idea to stop at my home in Ohio and spend the night there. It wasn't very often that I would be passing within forty miles of home. I called dispatch and let them know my plans. They didn't mind as long as I was on-time for my delivery the next morning.

I decided to surprise my girlfriend, Sarah. We had been living together for a couple of years. I'll tell you more about how we met and the rest of my story later. Right now I need to tell you what happened when I got home.

I live near a small city but on a rural road. I own a double-wide mobile home that sits on three acres of land. It gives me plenty of room to park my semi without bothering the neighbors.

I pulled up and parked my truck by the garage, which was a fair distance from the house. I was surprised to see another car at the house. It belonged to my friends, Joe and Trina, and all I could think of was that Trina and Sarah didn't get along all that well. They didn't hate each other but that's something else I'll explain later.

I walked in the door and didn't see anyone. Then I heard the noise coming from the bedroom. I knew what it was, but couldn't believe it. I walked in and there on the bed was Sarah, fucking my so-called best friend, Joe. He was just coming and Sarah was screaming out how good it felt.

It took them a few seconds before they saw me. Joe looked shocked and pulled his cum-covered dick out of my woman, and I hit him hard in the kidney area. He fell off of her and onto the floor. I hit him a few more times, scraping my knuckles when I bloodied his nose. After kicking him a few more times he just laid there.

All this time Sarah just screamed and cried, yanking at the sheet to cover her naked body. I had gotten Joe's blood on my shirt and a few drops on my jeans, so I reached into the closet to get a clean shirt.

I jumped when Sarah screamed out, "Ray! Please, don't kill us! Please! I'll do anything!"

I kept my shotgun and rifle in the closet, so I guess she thought that was what I was going after. Hell, it had its appeal but they weren't worth going to jail over. I grabbed a clean shirt and put it on.

I looked down at Joe and told him if he ever came to my house again, I'd kill him. I had to wonder how he could ever do this to his wife Trina. Hell, she meant the world to me, and Joe was her husband. Thank God she wasn't at the house and to see the two of them fucking.

I looked at Sarah and said, "You fucking whore! You fucking slut! I bring you into my house and even thought about marrying you and you turn around and fuck my best friend. Well, you can go to Hell! I'll be back in two days and your sorry fucking ass and all your belongings better be out of here. I never want to see you again."

I turned away from the two of them and left the house. I got back into my truck, called dispatch and told them I had a change of plans. I'd be driving to West Virginia after all.

I had a few-hour drive ahead of me and as the miles rolled away, I thought about my life and where I was now.

****

I thought back to grade school when Joe, Trina and I were the best of friends. If you ever saw one of us, it was a sure bet the other two weren't far away. Trina was somewhat of a tomboy so we all got along great. It wasn't until high school that I began to have more than friendly feelings for Trina.

One time during high school, Joe and I made a pact. If either of us found a girlfriend that the other would keep his hands off of her. We did one of those blood-brother things and cut our thumbs and pressed them together to seal the pact.

Joe dated a lot and I went out a few times. I was the quiet one, rather introverted and keeping things to myself. Joe on the other hand was the fun outgoing guy.

Trina never dated much. She spent her time studying when she wasn't with Joe and me. It was then that I knew I had feelings for her, I just didn't know how to express it. Joe had no problems with the dating scene and knowing what to say; at the time, I wished I was a little more like him.

One day I got up the courage to tell Trina how I felt and headed over to her house. I found her and Joe in the backyard kissing. Joe looked at me with a big grin on his face. Trina could hardly look at me.

"Trina agreed to go steady with me," said Joe. "We can all still hang out together but you have to find your own girl."

I can't tell you how hurt I was. I loved her but because I hadn't known what to say, I'd lost her, maybe forever. We spent a lot less time together after that. Trina went to college to become a nurse and Joe became a lawyer. I didn't have those kind of smarts and went to truck driving school and became an over-the-road truck driver. I only did the state-to-state, long hauls.

Joe and Trina were still in college when they got married. I was the best man, even though it killed me. I knew in my heart that I had to let her go, although I'd never forget her.

They both got their degrees and stayed in our area, inviting me over for dinner whenever I was in town. Trina had a habit of trying to fix me up with her girlfriends. One day I asked her why, and she said she hated seeing me alone.

She introduced me to her friend Diane who was a teacher. We started dating and eventually we got married. It's hard to say, but I did love Diane, although not in the same way as I loved Trina.

After we got married the four of us spent time together, and it was easier since I had Diane. Whenever I was home we ¬made plans to go somewhere. The four of us were the best of friends but deep down in my heart, I had never lost my love for Trina.

Diane and I had two wonderful kids, a daughter and a son. She did eighty percent of the raising of the kids, maybe more, since my job kept me away for days at time. When our oldest was about seven, Diane wanted me to find another job. She told me she loved me but couldn't take it anymore. She wanted a husband that was at home and there for her and the kids.

I know she tried hard but driving was all I knew. We started arguing time and time again about me changing jobs and we ended up getting divorced.

One day as I rode though Pennsylvania, a Hank Williams song came on the radio, and it cut through all of my thoughts.

"I tried so hard, my dear, to show that you're my every dream.

Yet you're afraid each thing I do is just some evil scheme

A memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart

Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold heart?"

It was like Diane was talking to me. I believe she really did love me and gave all she could. I knew that she wanted a normal home and loving husband who was there for her. She always told me that I was great when I was there. The problem was, I wasn't there enough.

I often wondered if she knew that the memory from my lonesome past was Trina. I rarely talked about Joe and Trina, but again I was the quiet one and didn't often talk about anyone. Diane was a good wife and a great mother. The divorce was amiable; neither of us wanted to fight, we just wanted to do right by the kids and each other.

To this day we're friends and I have nothing but praise for her. She met one of Joe's lawyer friends a few years after the divorce, and after dating for a year they are happily married. I saw my kids every chance I got when I was home. It's hard to believe they're both adults now. My son's still in college and my daughter recently married.

****

I stayed single after divorcing Diane. I dated a few women and Trina tried to set me up until I told her that I wasn't the marrying type. I liked my job and most women wouldn't put up with a part-time husband. I told her besides, no woman could every measure up to my dream girl.

She often asked what my dream girl was like but I would make up some lame fantasy about a woman that would meet my every need—a combination of Wonder Woman and June Cleaver. I could never tell her she was my dream girl.

When I had the kids when I was home, we often went out with Trina, Joe and their kids. All the kids were friends and close in age. At least I didn't feel like a third wheel when I had the kids with me.

As I have mentioned, Joe and Trina were my best friends but Joe was an asshole. I know that he cheated on Trina. He considered himself a ladies' man. He would flirt with women in front of Trina but she always said he was harmless; I knew better. I can't tell you the number of times I wanted to kick his ass for cheating on Trina. I often wondered why I stayed friends with him. It probably had something to do with Trina.

Life went on for me. We were all in our forties now and I still drove my truck.

I inherited the doublewide trailer and the land it sat on from my parents when they passed away. I was grateful to have this in their memory, but their deaths hit me hard. It seemed like everyone I loved left; my wife divorced me, and although I'd never had Trina, I'd lost her, too. With my kids grown and on their own, I'd never felt so alone.

When I was in North Carolina I met a young woman. Sarah was a waitress at a restaurant I liked. She was young, cute and quite the flirt. She often asked me to take her with me on my trips. I figured she was joking around but one day she sat down and told me she was serious; she wanted to move far away and start over.

She told me things about her past how she was on her own at sixteen. Her parents had kicked her out when she got pregnant; she ended up losing the baby. She had told me it was for the best because the father of the child was a drug addict and was now serving time in prison.

Sarah said that she thought that I was a nice and caring man and seemed lonely. When I told her about our age difference, she said it didn't make any difference. She just wanted to be with someone who cared for her.

On one of my days off I stayed in North Carolina and asked Sarah if she would like to go out. I knew she was half my age but I was lonely and she was sexy.

We went dancing and even took in a movie. It was the most fun I had had in a long time. We went to my motel and I asked her if she wanted to spend the night. She said yes and it was a night of some of the best sex that I can remember.

The sex was amazing; there was nothing my little nymph wouldn't do for me. The next morning she asked me to take her home with me. In the many times I had been in her restaurant we had talked a lot and she knew most everything about me. I almost couldn't believe she wanted to go home with me.

Maybe it was the loneliness, having sex like I did when I was younger or maybe I cared for her. I don't know the reason why, but I told her yes, that she could come with me.

She lived in a small apartment that she shared with a girlfriend. They had a short but tearful good bye, then we rented a u-Haul and loaded up her few belongings and headed back to Ohio.

I explained to Sarah that I had some rules that she would have to follow. We wouldn't be getting married, at least not until we had been together for awhile to see how well we got along. She was my girl, and only my girl. I didn't believe in cheating and I would consider it cheating if she dated other men. Also I wouldn't be with other women.

I explained to her that if she wanted to be with another man that all she had to do is tell me and she could move out at anytime. I just wouldn't be taking her back.

She cried and said she only wanted to be with me. I seemed so kind and she believed she was falling in love with me. As far as I knew she had no one and we decided to try and make the best of it.

After we got home I introduced Sarah to my friends and family. When I first mentioned to Joe and Trina that I had found a girlfriend and she was moving in with me they were very happy about it. They invited us over for dinner and to say they were shocked when they meet Sarah would be an understatement.

They asked her a thousand question but most of her answers were vague. Joe couldn't keep his eyes off of her, which I didn't care for. He was being too nice to her, which I knew was aggravating Trina. If looks could kill the ones Trina was giving me would have surely ended my life. It's like she was blaming me for Joes looking at Sarah.

Trina was nice to Sarah but deep down I knew she was really pissed at me; she didn't have to say anything. Having known her all these years, I could tell. I knew Sarah loved the complements she was getting from Joe. I could see a little of her flirtiness, but I figured it was just the way she was.

That night Sarah and I had some great sex. She told me how much she loved it here and found it so safe and free. At the time I didn't know what she meant by it.

I called my son and daughter and told them about my new live-in. I told them right off that she was closer to their age than mine. They liked Sarah but admitted they wouldn't see her as a mother figure, which I'd expected. They knew I had been single for a good twelve years and were at least glad that I was happy. I knew Sarah and the kids would never be close but at least they were nice to each other.

I got a call from Diane, my ex, after the kids and Trina had talked to her. She didn't seem like the happiest person on the Planet.

"Ray, What are you doing. Everyone says your girlfriend is young enough to be your daughter. Did you really think this through?" asked Diane.

"Look, you left me. I loved you but that wasn't enough." She started to interrupt me, but I kept going. "Diane, listen, I don't blame you for leaving me. You wanted a husband who was there for you and I wasn't. I've been alone for years and yes, Sarah is much younger but I care for her very much.

"So she's younger, big deal. We aren't married and she can leave whenever she wants. Right now I feel good and have someone to share my life with. Is that so bad?"

"Ray, all I ask is be careful. I would hate to see you get hurt," said Diane.

"I was hurt a few times in my life and the last time was when you decided to leave me. I don't think it gets much worse than that. Right now, I'm happy and I'm willing to see where this goes. Thanks for thinking about me, but this really isn't any of your business."

After I hung up with Diane, Sarah and I talked. She said she knew my family and friends probably didn't trust her, but that was all rright as long as I did.

I told her, "I trust you, but if I find you lying to me the trust will end and you will be out the door. We'll just take this a week at a time and see how it works out. As for my friends, I don't care what they think. If they don't want to spend time with us then they don't have too."

She wanted to settle in before finding work. I mentioned to her that she could go on some of my long hauls if she wanted to. I owned my own cab and could do pretty much what I wanted to.

She loved the idea and went with me about half the time. Every time I went to a new destination that she hadn't been to she would come along. After a while, she only went if the destination was new; she said she got bored with the same places. I couldn't hardly blame her.

****

We'd been together for a couple of years and life was good. Joe and Trina visited with us often when we were home, although I think Joe just liked looking at Sarah in a bathing suit. Trina looked great to me and still held that special place in my heart.

Trina got along with Sarah but they were far from best friends. I think Trina wanted to know more about her and also to keep an eye on Joe. I felt there might be a bit of jealousy there but I wasn't sure what the cause of it was.

Trina and I were still best friends and I always felt something when I hugged her. I lost her as I mentioned because I wasn't going to fight Joe for her. She made her choice and it was Joe.

On a long haul by myself—I was going back to North Carolina, and Sarah wanted nothing to do with it—I heard some more of "Cold, Cold Heart," by Hank Williams.

There was a time when I believed that you belonged to me

But your heart now I know is shackled to a memory

The more I learn to care for you, the more we drift apart

Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold, cold heart?

That's the way it was with my feelings for Trina. Looking back at my life there was nothing that I wouldn't have given up just to be with her. Something deep inside me made me feel that maybe, just maybe she had a torch inside of her also.

I knew she would never cheat on Joe and I wouldn't want her to, even with me. It helped make her who she was and I would never want to change that. We just went on being best friends.

Once it was almost—almost—more than that. It happened while Diane and I were still married. We all got babysitters and went to the big city for an evening of dancing and partying for Diane's birthday. We also figured we'd splurge and spend the night at a hotel.

Of course we got separate rooms. After dinner, drinking and partying we went up to Joe and Trina's room and decided to play cards. We had all had to much to drink and Joe suggested we play strip poker. At first we laughed but since we were all best friends we said, "What the hell!"

I couldn't help but think that I might get a chance to see Trina naked; Joe was probably thinking of seeing Diane the same way. Before that day I had never thought of a swap just to be with Trina but it crossed my mind that time.

The game went on and we were all losing pieces of our clothing. Everyone laughed when someone lost an item. We had all been to the beach together a number of times and I had seen Trina in a bikini but this was different.

Joe and I were down to our t-shirts and briefs. Both women were down to their bra and panties.

Joe kept staring at Diane. She had on a sheer bra and you could almost see her bush through her panties. She must have been pretty sauced or she would have never let it go this far. I wondered why I was letting it go this far; I'm a jealous kind of guy, and I knew Joe couldn't be trusted.

Trina looked over at me, probably wondering what I was thinking. If she only knew. I wanted to take off the rest of her clothes and make love to her like I had dreamt of for years. The only problem was we were all married now.

She looked nice in her bra and matching panties. They weren't as sheer as Diane's, but I knew it wasn't that easy for her either. In the next hand Trina lost, which meant she had to remove her bra or panties.

She hesitated and looked at me. Joe yelled out, "Come on, babe, let's see some more skin. You lost."

When she reached back to unclasp her bra I said, "Stop! I think we've gone far enough. Let's stop before we do something we'll regret."

"Bullshit, Ray! Come on, we're just friends having fun. What's with you?" Joe glared at me.

"Joe, I don't know where this will end. You and Tina are my best friends, and Diane is my wife. I want to keep it that way. We're going back to our room and get some rest. We'll see you guys tomorrow for breakfast."

Diane and I slipped on some of our clothes and left for our room. The last thing I remember is looking back and Trina staring at me. To this day I have to wonder what might have been.

****

Sarah and I got along pretty well. She wasn't going on as many trips with me as when we first met, but that was okay. I could understand; it gets boring but it's how I make my living, and at least I'm doing the driving. Sarah found a job at the local deli, which gave her something to do when I was gone for days at a time.