My first Saturday back at work after my family's trip to Hilton Head, neither Meghan nor David's cars were sitting in the parking lot. In the church lounge, I found only Jeff, the head custodian. If he'd brought breakfast, he'd already finished it. He seemed to be operating under the assumption that I'd eaten before coming.
"So, just us today?" I asked.
"It's just us, period. David and Meghan handed in their keys on me."
My words caught in my throat. "They handed in their keys?"
"That's what I said. It was just me all week last week! Let's come on and get started or it'll be Sunday services before we get out of here."
Jeff was neither rude nor condescending. With him, it was all business all the time, no feelings one way or the other about it. Before lunch, I found myself missing David's barking of orders. Not to mention the feeling of his cock exploding inside me while his cousin watched and had a little explosion of her own.
Before the next Sunday shift, I had handed in my keys, as well. I dropped them through the front office's mail slot in an envelope with a handwritten note, and I never stepped foot in the church again.
The end of August saw me mowing lawns for cash and moved into the Vol Hall dorms on the University of Tennessee campus.
My parents helped with the heavy lifting and with tracking down all my books. After that, they left me to my own devices. I only saw them a few more times that semester, usually during a family birthday or a quick trip home to mow the yard for some extra cash.
Mom told me that she was available whenever I wanted help studying. Dad said to call him if I needed advice with the girls. He never mentioned anything about the boys.
I shared a room with a second-generation Chinese student named Jeremy. He got the bedroom, I got the futon. He was the ideal dormmate. He smiled when you spoke to him, kept his music at a reasonable volume, and cleaned up any messes he made in the kitchenette. I found him all around forgettable.
He knew how to handle personal space. I never walked in on him masturbating. Only once did I find myself locked out with a sock on the door. I didn't catch a glimpse of whoever was in there with him, but the walls were thin enough for me to hear the pounding bedsprings and feverish rutting.
Jeremy often walked around shirtless. A respectable six-pack and pigeon-tits, not a bad skin complexion. But even as a man who had recently lost his virginity by anally swallowing the semen of another guy, Jeremy did nothing for me. If anything, he made masturbation more difficult. I'd be clawing at my dick in the shower, and the mere thought of him watching TV in the other room would ensure that I never got it up.
The first month in the dorms became a series of blue-balled evenings and hollow prayers for wet dreams.
The scenery only worsened the swelling in my undrained testicles. Joggers of both sexes, either shirtless or with bare midriffs. Sunbathers in the grass, catching the last few rays of summer heat. Everywhere, skin, skin, sumptuous skin, begging for my touch.
I'd hope for crowds during my excursions across campus. Keeping my hands at waist level and playing clumsy, I coped copious feels of whatever they had available. I devoted entire afternoons to aimless wondering and the grazing of strangers' flesh. A delicious torture of my scrotum which only nocturnal emissions could relieve.
I lucked out on easy classes, something I'd pay for tenfold in semesters yet to come. I filled out my schedule with intro courses, the type where semi-regular attendance ensured a passing grade. The only one that gave me real trouble was Astronomy 101. Even then, some last minute extra credit and a laughable grading curve pulled my ass out of the fire.
Until that academic deus ex machina, I was convinced that I'd spend the spring semester gazing at the stars all over again. Walking back to the University Center after an emasculating midterm, I had already resigned myself to that fate. I blasted Nine Inch Nails on my iPod and tried hard not to think about the dark times ahead. I zombie-walked to the cafeteria and staggered into Chick-fil-A. Half-blind, I grabbed a spicy sandwich and fries and headed to the checkout.
I awoke to a curtain of blue hair draped over the cash register. Beneath it, a pair of green eyes squinted, and a mouth formed silent words.
I ripped the live iPod buds from my ears. "Meghan?"
She grimaced beneath her neon mop. I could already see hints of her natural chestnut brown sneaking its way up her blue roots. "I was wondering when you'd notice," she said.
"Oh my God!" Chuckling, I slapped my cheek. "You caught me on a rough day. I swear college hasn't really made me this clueless."
"It's cool. I was the only one around to see it happen."
That slip of her tongue froze us both in place. The smiles crumbled from our faces, and we found ourselves staring at the same floor tile. Suddenly, we were both back in the church choir room, Meghan stroking her clitoris while David pumped his seed against my throbbing prostate. And afterwards, Meghan weeping in shameful solitude as she cleaned all three of our messes.
Someone cleared their throat behind me, snapping us both back to the present. Meghan rattled off the price tag. I paid up and grabbed my food. Then, I stopped and spun back upon her, nearly knocking the tray out of the hands of next guy in line. "Hey, Meghan?"
"Yeah?"
"When are you getting off next?" I blushed at my own Freudian slip and said, "I mean, when does your shift end?"
"I go to lunch at two."
"Oh. I'll be in Intro to Business."
"Shoot! It's all afternoon classes for me after that."
I smiled my apology at the guy waiting to pay up. He didn't return it. "Well," I said to Meghan, "do you still eat breakfast?"
"Only on days I can, like, wake up for it."
"Do you think you could roll out of bed and meet up here around eight tomorrow?"
"I'll set the alarm!"
"Great! It's a date then."
She bit her lip. "I'd prefer you didn't call it that."
"Well, it's a meal, at least."
* * *
I shaved my face and put extra product in my ponytail before heading to the UC for breakfast. If I had thought slightly further ahead, I would have performed a few dozen pushups to give me temporary pecs and biceps.
I found Meghan waiting for me in a cafeteria booth. Dressed again in her Chick-fi-La uniform, she had touched up the neon blue dye in her hair and trimmed the whole thing into a pixie cut. She stood and smiled at my approach. She even opened a hug to me, though she broke it after only two seconds.
We loaded our trays at the breakfast counter. I wanted to handle the payment, but Meghan insisted upon going Dutch. Since I was a few mowed lawns shy of a full wallet, I didn't argue too hard for chivalry.
We bullshitted for a while. Meghan had joined a Christian sorority on campus. She liked the activities but wasn't fond of sharing a living space. Her job was okay except that she had to wear a suffocating hairnet while on kitchen duty. As for classes, she was thinking ahead and getting some of the more difficult requirements like Calculus and Microbiology out of the way. She was considering Pre-Nursing but wanted to look around a bit more before committing to a major.
Eventually, we got down to what was really on our minds.
"I wasn't expecting you two to quit like that," I said. "Though, after that day, I guess I can't really blame you."
Her eyes twitched as they fell to the table. "It wasn't something David and I talked about. We, like, made mutually exclusive decisions. And after we each found out that the other had quit, we still never brought it up."
