Clare Ch 02 1

To the mothers who gave us life

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Author's Note: I spent about two months writing "Clare." It isn't perfect, but in writing it I fell in love with Clare, the person. I know, she does not exist, except in my mind. However, my mind kept going back to thoughts of her. I found I couldn't let her go, with her treasured dream yet in embryo!

If you have not read Clare, don't read this yet. This chapter makes passing reference to a few events from the original, but not enough to make this stand on its own!

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Jack

Clare returned from Miami and the closing of the sale of her condo. I was anxiously waiting in the public area of the Panama airport, waiting for her to emerge after the customs check. When she came out, she ran to me. Nothing new about that!

As we kissed, I noticed her tears.

"Why are you crying, dear?"

"I'm so happy! I was just standing where you and I met, thinking about that day. I just had to run out here and thank you again for being such a wonderful man!"

"It's amazing, isn't it, what's happened to us! I still feel such sadness over what happened to Sue, and I miss her. I always will, but Clare, you have been such a blessing to me! Look at us! We're married and having a baby!"

We stood and hugged. Both of us now in tears.

Clare

This may have been my favorite trip home yet. I'd returned from work assignments alone before, but this return represented more. This was the closing of an era, the sale of my condo. Julie had moved on, one of my closest friends and my loyal assistant.

It also represented total commitment to Jack, the great love of my life and father of our child. What a whirlwind change for both of us!

I'll never forget that moment when Jack learned of Sue's death! All I could do was hold him and make a personal commitment to see him through that tragedy. It felt like my tragedy, my loss. I think I matched Jack's tears, although I tried to cry privately, often in the bathroom, to hide the grief I felt and not add to his.

Jack

That loss might have overwhelmed me had it not been for Clare. Her steadying, calm influence made a huge difference as she took over all the small tasks--shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry--all things I would have not found the will to do.

Clare

Looking back, the turning point was not the things that came later, the moments we talked about in telling our story to his children--our children--it was the moment I knew I had to get him out of the house. For his sanity. For mine as well, I suppose.

That was the moment that led to us getting to know each other, becoming the closest of friends, and ultimately falling in love.

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Jack

It was a month after Clare's return. We were sitting on the balcony, enjoying the morning air and a beautiful sunrise.

"Jack, I was just thinking about the fun places we visited, places that became the backdrop for us falling in love. What other places are on your bucket list?"

"I haven't thought about that in a few months! Our lives sure became a whirlwind, didn't they? First, we revealed our falling in love moments to each other. The next night was your 'great reveal'! From there it got even crazier, didn't it?"

"Those were some of my favorite days. Maybe the best, other than our wedding night, of course, was our meeting with your family. Amie stole the show, didn't she?"

"She always does, but I seem to remember a legendary moment they still remind me about, a moment in which you starred!"

Clare was blushing. She put her head on my shoulder.

"Back to your question, though. I'll go get an old-fashioned yellow pad and let's brainstorm some travel plans. When is your ultrasound?"

We had found an excellent Ob/Gyn at a private clinic, associated with one of the excellent private hospitals. The public system can be horrifying. I visited a friend once in a rural hospital west of here. It was the stuff of a Stephen King novel!

I had some friends who did some charitable work in African hospitals. They told horror stories of what they saw there. That's what I thought of when I visited my friend.

The private system is the complete opposite. All the doctors there were trained in the U.S. and interned there. They all speak English. Clare and I are both learning Spanish, but I have no belief either of us will ever be able to converse in Spanish about medical issues.

"We're scheduled for next Tuesday. Wanna bet on the gender? I say a boy. Jack, I know you think a girl. A wager?"

"Sure. The winner gets to pick our next destination and our first sex position while there."

"Done!"

Clare

We made a list of places to visit. I showed Jack a place on Airbnb my Ob/Gyn had told me about. It is way out in Veraguas, on the west side of the Azuero Peninsula--I had to look up the name--that's straight south from Santiago. She said her family has a reunion there every summer (meaning January or February, the key dry season months). She said it's an unbelievable place and has a pool and a hot tub.

It might be too big for us. My doctor said they have 12 adults when they go, and it's perfect for them. It's clear from the Airbnb listing one can rent part of the place, but that might not be attractive. Jack is going to message the owner and ask about renting the whole place.

Our first attempt at the list, including the one in Veraguas, looked like this:

Bocas del Toro

Veraguas

Boquete

Cartagena, Colombia

A Caribbean beach (east of Colón)

A return visit to San Blas!

I suggested that last one. I want to stand on the shore with my arms around Jack again and remember how I wanted to kiss him! I'm a hopeless romantic! Who knew?

Once we opened the door to places outside of Panama--we had a lot to choose from! We'll start a new list of those.

Jack

I messaged the lady who owns the property in Veraguas and asked how much she would charge us to rent the entire place, just the two of us, for three nights. She gave me a good price! It turns out she's from Lithuania and built the place using a lot of European fixtures and standards, but lives in a separate, smaller house next door.

I asked her when the next three-day window for reservations was. She suggested a date four weeks from now. I went online and reserved it and thanked her in the message to her on the reservation form.

We decided to kick off our new round of trips with an appropriate look back--San Blas! The winner of the sonogram bet can pick the next destination.

Clare

A return to San Blas! I'm so excited! We may not be on the same island again. I understand that, but I hope we are. I want to sleep in a hammock with Jack! This time, standing on the edge of the water, I

will

kiss him! He promised to kiss me in the truck driving back to Panama that night! So romantic for us! (My hormones are making me more emotional these days!)

First, though, the ultrasound!

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Jack - Tuesday

It's Tuesday! Today we find out whether we are having a son or daughter! I'm happy with either. I just want a healthy mother and baby!

Clare

I'm so excited! I'm a first-time mother, something I've dreamed about all my life! I'm living my dream!

We arrived at the clinic and were soon in the technician's lab. She prepped my tummy with that goop. Just as she was starting, my doctor came in.

"Hi, Jessica, this is my husband, Jack. He paid for a front row seat today!"

"Jack, it's so nice to meet you! Clare has told me so much about you and how you met. You must be excited today, but this isn't your first, is it?"

"No, but this is one I never thought I would have, so it's sweet for me!"

The technician had been working to get an image.

"Doctor? Take a look."

Jessica peered at the screen. The technician pointed, moved the wand and pointed again.

They both studied the images at length.

A sudden fear washed over me!

"Is something wrong?"

Jessica smiled. "Have you bought a crib yet? Buy another. You're having twins! Fraternal twins. A boy and a girl! Their heartbeats look perfect."

Jack hugged me. "We both won the bet!"

"Jack and Clare, this is remarkable at your ages. You're lucky to have this experience!"

"Thanks, Jessica. I'm a little overwhelmed, but that's nothing new in my relationship with Jack!"

"I'd like you to schedule an appointment with me for next week. This changes certain risk factors, and I want to discuss those with you and monitor you a little more closely. There's absolutely no cause for alarm or worry. You're in good hands, Clare."

"Jessica, are there any problems with air travel?"

"Not for about three more months. I would normally say four months, but for you, with twins, let's play it safer, ok?"

Jack

Clare and I walked out to the car, hand in hand, too stunned to say anything. Before opening the car door, I put my arms around her.

"The night we told the kids about us, Amie came up to me afterwards and said she had prayed I would meet someone who would make me happy, someone to be with for the rest of my life. In classic Amie fashion, she said, 'I think I overdid it!'

"Remember the night we made love when you told me you were fertile? The next night in our prayers, we asked God to bless us with a child. I think we overdid it, too! I love you, Clare, with all my heart!"

Clare put her head on my shoulder. There were tears in her eyes!

"Are those happy tears?"

"Joyously happy!"

"Do you want to tell our family yet?"

"Give it a month more, ok? I'm still adjusting to having two babies in here!" She patted her tummy.

Clare

We decided to resolve the bet by flipping a coin. It was either that or wait to see which was born first, but that was too long, and then travel would be more difficult. We wanted to travel now.

I found a Balboa (a Panamanian coin equal to $1).

"This is heads. Call, it in the air, Jack."

"Heads!"

It was tails. I won!

"Ok, Clare, where are we going after San Blas, and what position first?"

"I want to do the flying early, so let's go to Cartagena! I want doggy style, up against a wall!"

"That's a sacrifice I am willing to make!"

I love Jack! I can't believe how blessed we are. In our marriage, our love for each other, and now twins! I still can't believe how my life has changed. Not just for the better, but beyond my hopes and dreams!

Jack - Friday

I made the arrangements for our San Blas trip for today. We were the first two the driver picked up, but we soon had a nearly full SUV. The drive there was uneventful. Clare slept. She was sleeping a little more these days. I would, too! It can't be easy, growing two babies inside!

I love Clare! Just the thought made my eyes fill with tears.

Clare

I just read Jack's previous entry. I'm finding it isn't easy being pregnant, but I love it! I'm tired often, but my doctor, Jessica, warned me about that. Entirely normal. Sometimes I would feel it more, sometimes less.

Several great things, though. Jack announced he's going to do all of the cleaning, dishes and laundry! Ok, the cleaning doesn't amount to much. We already have a housekeeper who comes in on Mondays and Thursdays. Still, he sweeps the floors in between. I love not having to worry about the laundry! He's wonderful to me, as always!

We arrived in San Blas and boarded the boat and put on our life preservers. I enjoyed the ride out to the islands even more than last time. It was a spectacular day!

To my joy, we docked at the same first island! Jack kissed my cheek. He knew, too!

"I want a hammock first, Jack. Let's get down to our swimsuits first, then come cuddle with me."

I was wearing a one-piece suit, and I was starting to show, but I was proud of my shape!

We got in the hammock, his arm around me, my hand on his chest, our legs intertwined. I fell asleep.

Jack

Clare went to sleep almost immediately. I still love looking at her body. I love her baby bump! Her amazing legs, her breasts--everything inflames me. I couldn't allow myself to think that way last time we were here!

After an hour, Clare wakened. I had fallen asleep as well, but her movement wakened me.

"Let's go get in the water, babe!"

She was so excited to get in the water, she almost dumped us out of the hammock! I was laughing to catch up with her. We went out in the swim area and played around.

"Jack, tell me about your experience here, looking into my eyes."

I explained my Avatar-like experience. 'I see you.' "That was when I knew I loved you."

"Let me show you where my moment happened!"

She grabbed my hand and led me directly to a spot, just above the water line. Her arm on my far shoulder, the other around me. Her head on my shoulder.

"This is what I was craving to do."

She kissed me on my neck, then used her hand to turn my head and kissed me.

There were tears in her eyes. "This is where I first asked myself whether I was in love with you. I wasn't sure until the drive home, but this is where I became conscious of my feelings for you."

We spent more time in the hammock, then wandered around the perimeter of the tiny island. We went to the little gift shop and I bought Clare another necklace.

We picked over our lunches, but this time we had also brought sandwiches. We bought a couple of sodas from the gift shop's cooler. A cooler with ice was all it was, but they were cold drinks!

Clare

"Our lives really changed that day, didn't they, Clare?"

"It's hard to pick a moment. I was thinking recently the key moment may have been when I made you plan things to get you out of the house."

Jack thought that over for a few moments. "I had not thought about that before. You're right, though, because we can each point to moments after that, signs that our feelings for each other were growing."

"I saw something else growing a few times!"

"Yeah, well your nipples drove me to such hardness more than once! Not just your nipples. It was your legs, your ass, your breasts. I was at your mercy!"

We sat and smiled at those wonderful memories. That was really the point of starting here in San Blas. Remembering where things came sharply into focus.

In the truck on the way home, we sat in the same seats as last time. I looked up at Jack. He smiled and kissed me. A circle completed.

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Clare -- the next week

I went to my appointment with Jessica. I say 'I,' but I asked Jack to come as well. This was going to be a discussion of risks and precautions.

It turned out to be far less worrisome that I had feared. Jessica was so reassuring.

"Clare, you are in great health and physical condition. Do you go to a gym in your building?"

"Yes, Jack and I go 3-4 times a week."

"Keep doing that. No heavy weightlifting. Just work on cardio and modest work to build core strength."

We talked about diet, supplements, signs to watch for. I felt reassured. I really like Jessica!

Jack

My first visit to an Ob/Gyn! It was kind of fun, although I was certainly the odd person in that waiting room!

As we walked to the car, I asked, "Do you have any concerns, dear?"

"None. I feel great. I love all the things you are doing--the dishes and laundry especially--you are wonderful. Have I told you that enough?"

I made our reservations for our flight to Cartagena for the following Wednesday, returning on Saturday. Three nights. I reserved a junior suite at the Hotel Casa San Agustin, located near the University of Cartagena.

Clare -- Wednesday of the next week

The flight was less than an hour! I had the window seat, and the view over the jungle in Panama was stunning. I loved the approach to Cartagena, with all the residential towers along a spit of land south of the walled city.

We took a taxi to our hotel. I was stunned by the beauty of the room. Jack said it was a junior suite. It was heavenly. A big, 4-poster bed, draped in white. About a dozen pillows. Sofas and chairs. Windows with lots of light. I loved it immediately.

I hugged Jack. "Thank you again for spoiling me, mi amor. Are we having sex tonight? Doggy?"

We may not be having sex every night anymore, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it and the wonderful things Jack does with my body. I just got wet from writing this!

"We are absolutely having sex tonight, and I already picked out the wall."

I came prepared with Jack's favorite lingerie. I brought more than one, but his favorite is for tonight!

Jack

I had made reservations at the Restaurant Alma, in the hotel. We started with ceviche's, made with lemon juice and coconut milk! Clare had a tuna fillet that I tried some of--delicious! I had a wonderful New York Steak -- medium. It was perfectly cooked.

We both passed on dessert. We would be having dessert in our room!

Clare

"Jack, I need to let that digest before we try something strenuous like sex! Can we stream something?"

We logged on to Netflix. The selections in Latin America are different, even for English-language films, than in the USA.

"See if

Notting Hill

is on here. That's a great rom-com. Appropriate for us."

It wasn't, but

When Harry Met Sally

was. "That will do!"

About halfway through the movie, Jack kissed my neck. That was it! The starter had sounded! I was on fire.

"Jack, I'm going to go get ready. Give me 30 minutes. I'm going to shower first. Then I have something to wear that you like!"

Jack

It doesn't matter that I saw what went into her suitcase! I'm already hard thinking about it and about our wedding night!

The bed had luxurious white netting, so I closed three sides. I moved furniture a little to increase space around 'the' wall.

Clare came out of the bathroom. I was as stunned by her beauty as I was on our wedding night! A black garter belt and black stockings. Landing strip. Stiletto heels, accentuating her long legs. Nothing else!

I walked to her and put my arms around her. "You are as beautiful as ever, Clare. I'm still getting the better end of this deal."

"I would warn you about a yellow card, but I am more interested in the end you plan to get now!"

I love the way she thinks! Seriously though, she gets my body, and I get hers! There is no way that's a fair trade!

Clare

Yellow card!

You knew this was coming, even though this is now the next day!

Jack, I love your body! I don't see it the way you do. I see a strong, handsome man, my man! I think of how you inflame me, transport me, ignite orgasms inside me, and fill me with your seed. Age has never been an issue because of our love.

For example, tonight:

You came to me and put your arms around me and kissed me. Your kisses are still fire! As I told the girls, they curl my toes. Yeah, I was instantly wet!

You walked me to the bed and pushed me down, on my back. You parted my legs, knelt on the floor and kissed my thighs!

You know how that sends me into orbit! That's why you spend so much time there! I can almost cum from that alone!

Finally, you licked my labia, pulled them fully open, and licked my pussy. I always cry out on your first gentle lick!

You kissed all over it. Licked it gently. You were pushing me toward a summit!

Then you inserted a finger and found my G-spot!

That was it! I twisted my body and clutched at you, your head. Trying to cope with the intensity.

You always do that to me. I love it!

Before I could fully recover, you picked me up, carried me under your arm, and backed me against the wall.