Becoming a dancer was a gradual thing for me. It started with serving drinks, I wanted to make more and then decided to move on to dancing so I could start making real money, like the other girls did. Dancing on a stage the first time was a little rattling, but what was really jarring was the feeling of the first time you have to dance for someone privately; to fake intimacy. The dancing itself isn't so bad, and really a good lap dance isn't all that hard to learn. The motions need to be soft, and smooth, you need to be quietly vocal, you don't even have to be good in the beginning as long as you look good and move slowly. It's the eye contact that's difficult, but necessary.
This story begins after one of my first lap dances. It was four years ago but I can still remember it like it was yesterday, right down to the horrid little yellow polo shirt the guy was wearing. Back then I was just starting and I spotted this young guy over towards the back. At first glance, he looked alright, just regular-maybe in his 20's, with sandy blonde hair that was neatly trimmed-a very clean cut college look.
"Hey," I approached him, "are you here all by yourself?"
He looked up at me and smiled, "Nah, I'm here with some of my brothers."
"You go to strip clubs with your family?" I said incredulously.
He laughed at that, "No they're my fraternity brothers. Dalton Reed of Omega Kappa Phi, miss...what's your name?"
I thought it was very charming that he said "miss", at the time. We were about the same age but it showed respect to ask that way.
"It's Starr. You can call me 'Starr'."
He gave me a really awkward smile, perhaps at how obviously untrue the name was. He looked me up and down and said; "You're kind of new at this aren't you?"
I was, but I didn't know what that look, or that smile, meant. "Oh, kind of new," I said, then thinking on my feet about not wanting to lose out on a private dance for a seemingly regular guy I lied; "but I've been dancing like, regular dancing, for a long time. Just not stripping."
He looked at me hard and then said, "turn around for me". It felt awkward, but I did it nevertheless. By the time I had made the full turn and looked back at his face, I noticed he was looking at my feet the whole time. Then he looked back up at my face with a big grin, maybe I did good? He leaned back in the over-plush, grey and purple seats and smiled again, saying "So are you going to ask me if I want a private dance?"
Oh, my job; "Yeah of course. Would you like a private dance?". It was never this quick before, normally I had to talk to the guys a bit longer, but he seemed like he knew what he was doing.
He winked and, I'll never forget this either, said; "Don't worry, I'll make a proper stripper out of you tonight." It was weird, it felt weird.
Just the same, I smiled and told him; "Alright, follow me."
We went to the back, he handed me $40 for two songs, and I seated him in one of the booths. Remember how I said you don't really need to be "good" at dancing to give a decent lap dance? This is how I know, because at the time my dancing was only "fair", but I was able to do a decent job just the same. Dalton was leering, paying more attention to my breasts than any movements I was doing. I paid attention to that and touched myself, my nipples, for his viewing pleasure. When I did this he looked up and the lust in his eyes became something else, something wild. The second song was coming to an end, 'this is getting easier' I thought 'that wasn't bad at all. I can't believe I earned $40 for it.'
As I started to get up, he grabbed my hand, roughly, "Hey" he said, "I want another dance. Right now."
I had no idea how that worked, adding a dance. Was I supposed to stop, have him give me the money now, or wait until the end? No one had told me about this before. As the possibilities ran through my head he pulled my hand, and my body down with it, onto his lap. "You're supposed to dance now," he started "and keep a tally in your head of how many I've racked up. I pay you out at the end."
"Oh" I countered, "yeah, of course. Thanks." I smiled, but he didn't return it, instead sitting back and swinging my leg over his lap. I knew he wasn't allowed to touch me, but his hand was off mine the instant I was straddling him. I smiled and said, "No touching, sweetie" and started to dance again, this time fully spread across his lap. He was leaning in and craning his neck towards me, what for I wasn't sure, but whatever he was doing with his head was distracting and made it awkward to dance on him. He started looking at my eyes, then I started running my body up and down his chest in a slow, pumping action. I leaned in, moaning softly, mostly so I didn't have to look in his eyes anymore, when suddenly I felt the tip of a tongue grazing my nipple. "Hey!" I exclaimed, "no touching. I said no touching."
"Come on" he said, "this is getting old. How much?" Was he asking to be cashed out-I think it was only one more song, but it wasn't the whole so...
"Uh, $20?", I pretty much asked rather than said, then watched him dig around in his pocket and push the money into my shorts, then pulled me closer to him and my breast back to his mouth. "Dude, no touching! I don't want to have to call the bouncer over."
He was looking livid now, and said "What the fuck, I just paid you! Why are you talking about calling the bouncer over for, you thieving whore?"
Thieving whore? It was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, what's worse is I didn't know what I was doing to taunt Mr. Hyde into coming out. Confused, I replied "Why are you saying this? What did I steal?"
"Bitch, I paid you what you asked to let me suck your titties, you took my money like a whore and now you're not letting me and trying to take my money."
It's like I wasn't talking to the same person anymore. I dug into my pocket and handed him the twenty, explaining "Look I thought you were asking to pay for a dance, not to touch me. I'm not allowed to do that, it's against the club rules, I'll get fired." Also, I didn't want to, there's some things that I would never want to trade for money.
He sat back again, glaring. "Whatever. It's what all you whores end up doing. You just haven't been at it long enough, I watched you try and turn in your shoes," he pointed at the uncomfortable platform stilettos I was in, "and you can barely walk in them." Now I couldn't, but it was embarrassing that someone noticed. My face was feeling hot, I wanted to leave. I got up and started walking away, as I did he said "Hey save some of that money for a boob job, sweetheart. My tongue couldn't even reach those mosquito bites."
As I clunked my way to the back, awkwardly in those stilettos and suddenly VERY aware of how awkwardly, I resigned myself to going home for the night. As I went to the dressing room and lockers in the back, I sat, kicked off those horrible shoes, stripped my clothes off and stepped into the shower. The showers were the same type you see in a high school, community style with not much between you and the other person; it was going to be four in the morning soon and the others girls would be in. I sat naked under the water, makeup running and cold since the temperature never got up to more than "lukewarm", since I was sitting on the floor it was that much colder. 'This was a mistake', I thought. All of it, I felt so cheap and dirty, and I sat there as though the water would wash away the feeling.