20

I gape at the phone. "Did he pick up??" Jess asks.

"Hello?" His spicy voice distracts me.

Oh god, say something.

"Hi...it's me. Madison. Umm..." I struggle to find the right words.

"Is something wrong?"

I shut my eyes and force myself to speak without overthinking. "I know you're probably tired of doing things for me...but I need your help with something. The driver was caught. It's on the news. Brad freaked and sped off to try to kill the guy. I would have called the cops. I don't want him arrested or..." My jaws lock. "Or worse. That's why I'm calling. I'm hoping you can help."

I hang onto the white noise from the line, concluding that my attempt was wasted.

This is too far-fetched. Jace will decline. He doesn't owe me anything. Why would he help?

"So, the news upset him?"

"Yes...which I get. What I don't get is why he took off like a mobster."

"I agree...Brad is being thoughtless."

"Don't say, "I told you so," alright?"

"I won't." He states sincerely...he means it. "I can schedule an off-the-radar recovery." He states professionally.

"A what??"

"My squad will reprehend him without the involvement of law enforcement. His death threat will remain private. They'll be no investigation...or charges."

"Oh..." I mumble.

"I'll need his license plate."

"We have his car phone number."

"That works."

I cover the bottom half of the phone with my palm. "Lil, what's his car cell?" She speaks ten digits. I repeat each into the phone.

"How long ago did he drive off?"

"About five minutes, I think."

The noise of typing on his phone fills the brief silence. "I'll have my squad conduct an air search."

"They won't hurt him, will they? He's pretty agitated."

"My men are trained to restrain, don't worry."

"Okay." I rub my neck. "Thank you...again."

"You're welcome." I hear a grin in his words. "Rest your mind. I'll handle this."

"Okay..." I tense my jaws. "Thanks again...bye." I hang up.

Jess sits beside me on the bed. "That sounded good."

"Yeah...it's good news. Jace has people to handle it."

"I knew he had to have some men in black at his disposal."

Lily returns to the room. She rushes over to hug me. "I don't get how one person can be this silly!" She shouts. "It's not right. His rage will only get worse." My bestie pulls from the hug and gazes deep into my eyes. "Do you know what I'm saying?"

Is she serious??! Lil can't be serious.

"He wouldn't...".

Jess clamps her hand over mine. "Maddy...don't wait to find out."

"You guys just want me to trash him like that?!"

"Hon, listen..."

Someone clears their throat from the doorway. We all look. Five men in dark suits stand in a triangular formation. Each wears shades and wrapping earpieces.

There's a horror element to their presence...I don't know why

.

The one in the front has a shredded body. He parts from the pack to approach us. "Hello, senoritas. My name is Alonso." He speaks with a gruff Spanish accent. "I require a photo for identification." His face is slim and expressionless.

I reach for the phone...then realize none of my data is on it. I freeze "Umm..."

Lil unlocks hers. She must be going to the messenger where I shared Brad's Tinder profile. For the first time ever, I witness her being intimidated by someone. The man whips a phone from his pocket and snaps a picture. The whooshing of helicopter propellers erupt from beneath the floor.

Jess is startled by this. Lil recoils out of fear. I almost jump from my skeleton. "Thank you, senoritas." Alonso twists around on his heels and marches from the room. The rest of the squad about faces and trails after him like robots.

"Holy fuck!!" Jess breathes.

"Right?!" Lil holds her head with both hands. "That was some Hitmen shit. I thought I was gonna get assassinated."

"I don't like sending them after Brad...it doesn't feel right." I massage my temples.

"It's our best choice...they won't hurt him." Lily consoles.

"How do you know that?"

"Because Jace has a clean rep. I did a background check. He hasn't done anything violent in the past. Your boo has a clean slate."

"He's not my boo!" I growl.

"The fact that he's helped you this much, says otherwise." Jess wiggles her brows.

The helicopter swooshes from below the house; rattling the deck. It nosedives in a straight line. I elongate my neck to watch it. The blades thrust sand into a tornado. The metal machine gleams in the sun as it zooms toward the sea.

I'm anxious. I hope Lil is right. I hope the men won't have an altercation with Brad. I hope everything goes smoothly. Brad needs to come back in one piece.

A gut feeling warns me that he won't be reasonable. Brad is too irrational! What was that look he gave me?? What's with all the anger he has??

Are my friends right about it being a gateway to abuse? Brad wouldn't hurt me. He's so sweet and considerate....he just has a strong vengeance. He needs to fix that animosity. I shouldn't have to be wary and frightened around him.

I miss the early stage of us. I miss the Brad that made me happy and excited. I don't want the version I have now; that's hell-bent and mindless. Nothing is the same anymore.

Do I stop caring for him? Do I stop seeing him? What do I do?? Brad loves me...he isn't faking the disrupted chemistry of his eyes. He isn't faking his attraction. I wish he was...then this wouldn't be as complicated. I don't know. I need to rest. I don't get how I even survived that horrible scene. I'm lucky for the on-call doctors. I'm pretty sure that was a heart attack.

I'm fortunate that I'm being tended to. Lucky to have Jace. Jess is right...so was Lil when she said he wanted me. His actions destroy all my previous assumptions. He's kind...annoyingly pleasing, infuriating, charming, and reserved. Is it possible that the billionaire isn't who I stereotyped him to be?

Lil and Jess leave me to rest...they don't go far, though. The two stand on the deck, watching the ocean swish. I lay back on my pillow, too anxious to sleep. So, I watch the yellow, blue paradise outside.

What do I do about Brad? Once he gets here, do I act as if all is forgiven? Do I pacify his actions again? This time wasn't like the last; it wasn't an argument. It was a kill attempt.

I can't let him walk it off or cool down. This was extreme...too extreme. How did he become this violent? Why didn't he listen to my screams? Where is he?

The mixed emotions in my mind hop between complication, wonder, and longing.

I still don't understand his reaction. I'm baffled by his plan and upset because I want to see him again. I still care...I'm just lost. I don't know what to choose. I'm not in love with Brad....but I do think I'm falling for him. There's no way to stop it.

My girls want me to break up with him. I think that's too severe. Brad has a problem...I'm aware of that. He needs to work on his rage. He's scary when he's pissed off. That should be enough to call it off. Yet, I still care for him.

Maybe it's the first boyfriend thing. Maybe it's because he's the first real-life guy who's shown me interest. I'm used to texting over a screen...not being in a relationship. This is all new to me...and it isn't as easy to solve.

Jess and Lil hold hands on the deck.

I know they're not doing it to taunt me....but it feels that way. I just want love...not this ball of stress I keep finding myself in. I've had a few normal days out of this week; it seems the upcoming ones will be arollercoaster. I just want my hotel room and bed. I want peace of mind. My mind is drained. I crave loneliness.

At the same time, I'd like a companion. It's all so confusing. It's as if I can't be alone as I have for years. The taste of love has me obsessed. But the headache and bodily torment from today have me wishing for darkness. Not death...just the void I was in. The soundless, sightless black seems inviting right now. My soul needs a detox.

The iPhone on my lap rings. I debate answering it.

I want silence...then again, it may be important. Let me not be an introvert. I'll recuperate my fried brain when I go home tomorrow.

"Hello?"

"My men have him."

"Where?"

"On I-70 West. 20 miles out."

"The expressway?

"Yes."

"Wait...how'd they get him?" I try to figure out how his car was collected from a busy ass expressway.

"They parked the copter...then latched his car to it."

"And disrupted traffic...fast ass traffic??"

"Oh, they gave a warning beforehand."

"Wow...still, that's dangerous."

"My men have no limits."

"No shit." I puff out.

"I reviewed the security footage. Brad isn't allowed back on the property; he's being escorted home. You endured so much today. Are you alright?" His fretful tone wake butterflies in my stomach.

"No...I'm not." I disregard the act of being invincible.

"You recovered, but you're still suffering. Your heart rate spiked. You must be drained. You deserve peace of mind."

"I'll get that when I go home."

"What if I offer a better solution?"

"Don't even try it. I'm not having sex with you." I scorn.

Jace does a hard chuckle. "That isn't what I'm implying. The fact that your mind keeps drawing that conclusion proves you're dirty." His deep voice teases.

I squint at the phone and smirk. "Then what is the offer?"

"An escape to my island. Where the population is zero...no noisy city or residents. Your own tropical resort. I can have you flown there tonight."

I bite my bottom lip, juggling the offer in my mind.

Should I accept? It would be nice to hear absolutely nothing after all the trauma. Home will be loud...the other hotel hosts aren't considerate. And wasn't I just yearning for complete silence? This is such a coincidence. But this is more than another favor...he expects something. But what?

"What do you want in return?"

"Just dinner and conversation."

"That's it?"

"Yes, you have my word."

My lips part. Brad's smile conjures my thoughts without my permission. His mouth on mine. His bewitched eyes.

"I love you..."

his melodic voice fill my ears, full of passion and sensitivity. I run a hand through my hair and clutch. "That sounds nice...but it'll just complicate things. I'm with Brad."

"I don't understand why. He's a lucky idiot who aspired to be a murderer."

"No one's unflawed...I'm sure you've done dumb shit." I retort stubbornly.

"Yes, I have...but not on such a scale where I'd face prison. But I respect your choice. Just so you know, the offer has no expiration. You're trapped by him...but you're smart enough to free yourself." I'm caught off guard by his aiding words. "Goodbye, Madison."

The dead tone seeps from the phone. I turn the device face down on the bed...and observe it.

Trapped? Free myself?? What the hell does that mean? Brad isn't horrible, he's just expressive. Why does everyone keep implying that I'm in a bad situation??

Yes, he needs anger management...something to correct his temper. There are resources. He can get help. I won't throw him away. Brad has too soft of a touch with me to be an abuser. He loves me. I don't want to be a person that breaks someone's heart.

I eat like a bird at dinner time. The mostaccioli smells great...my tastebuds just aren't alive.

Is this stress? Depression? Or something else?

Lil and Jess crash on the sofa in my room; there's no way they'd leave me alone after my terrible experience. I smile at the spooning position they're in. I'm reminded of Brad and me cuddled in the hospital bed. My heart flutters. I grab my phone.

I have to check if he's made it back home safely.

My finger taps in Brad's number. The line trills for some time. I count seven. There's no answer.

His phone must be dead

.

I sigh and drop the call.

Lil sleeps over at my place to be my support. She hasn't dropped the Brad topic and is blunt about me leaving him. Lily hovers the block button in front of my face more than I can count.

I don't let her win...but I compromise

.

He has to have some sort of punishment for how he acted. Brad needs to know that he can't plan to kill people. He can't handle life that way. I'm not convinced to cut him off.

I just text:

we need to take a break.

I google Jace to see what he's up to:

JACE HARRISON, CEO OF STRYGENT, TO REPLACE ASTROUNAUTS WITH SPACE BOTS FOR NASA.

STRYGENT'S NEWLY CONSTRUCTED LAB IS THE SIZE OF THREE FOOTBALL FIELDS!

PAPARAZZI SPOTTED THREE WOMEN LEAVING JACE HARRISON'S BEACH HOUSE. IS THE DOG STILL AT IT?

NAMELESS HELICOPTER FROM LAST WEEK'S EXPRESSWAY SHOWDOWN, RUMORED TOBE J.H'S MYSTERY CRAFT.

I decide to google myself. I find pages of articles.

Great...I'm forever known as the Uber girl who jumped from a car.

Some articles recycle the same bang picture from high school. The other articles have Henry Fleck's mug shot. Some showcase rioters outside the police department. The guy is being held there until trial.

Something I hope is speedy, so I'm no longer bothered

.

I hope the judge just persecutes him

.

I don't want to relive the worst day of my life.

I exit the browser.

I wear long sleeve shirts and pants. No shorts or tanks, no half sleeves. The times I have gone out, I covered up like a Muslim without the headpiece. I tug my cuffs over my hands and resort to buying shirts with thumbholes to hide the bruises on them. I replace all my dresses with ones that show no skin besides my chest and stock up on hoodies and leggings.

Today I have on a baggy long sleeve t-shirt and joggers, with untidy hair. I open a cabinet in the bathroom and take out concealer I borrowed from Lily. The patches on my body are healed but are discolored. My olive skin isn't one tone anymore. The newly grown skin is grayish and is so obvious.

Lil and Jess say I'm overreacting and that it's barely noticeable. To me...I look like Frankenstein's monster. They're being nice. It's going to take days... weeks, perhaps years, to talk me down. I'm hideous...and it appears to be permanent.

I cover the discolored spots on my neck and face with makeup and pop my prescribed painkillers. Tramadol. They've been helping with the lingering pain. My skin is still lacking elasticity, it hurts to bend and reach for things. I only have a month's supply...hopefully that means the ache will be gone by then.

I look for my phone. It's missing. Lil comes through the front door with groceries. "Babe, where are you? I got your sweets!"

"In the bathroom."

She drops most of the bags by the door and comes to me with one. "Brownies, cookies, and chocolate ice cream, as requested."

"Thanks." I put down the concealer and remove the cookies from the bag, taking two out.

"Are you up for going out later? We miss our third wheel."

"No, I'll stay in."

"Your skin isn't that bad."

"That bad, meaning it is bad," I reply cleverly. "I'll watch a movie or something. I'm okay."

"I don't want you alone; you'll try to talk to Brad."

I scrunch my face at her like a furious cat. "I said we're on a break, not that I'm done with him."

"Jace proposed a getaway to steer you from Brad. All three of us aren't wrong, Maddy. Just...please, keep the break permanent. Don't call him."

"Oh yeah, like it's my choice. I know you hid my phone!" I yank the bag and push past her.

"I'm looking out for you!"

I stomp to a tiny kitchen; opening a cabinet to get a bowl and spoon. I slap the bag onto the counter and unload the ice cream. "You and Jess need to butt out!!"

"How about Jace...did you tell him that?"

I put my hands on my hip. "It's none of you guys' business."

Lil scoffs cynically. "Oh right, we made his tantrum our business. We gave you a borderline heart attack, too, right? Gee, we really need to occupy our time elsewhere instead of caring about someone who's..."

"I'm not in an abusive relationship!!!" I shriek wildly.

She throws up her hands and goes for the door. "Alright, we're all wrong! Think what you want for now. When Brad lays his hands on you, that'll be when you face the truth. Which is bullshit!" She slams the door on her way out.

I rip open the ice cream, scooping huge globs into the bowl. I look to the main room, where my bed is. I stomp over and flip the mattress. Searching for my phone.

It's not there.

I check under the bed and couch cushions. The bathroom and the kitchen cabinets and drawers. I jam my hand behind the tv and push out its stand.

I'm sick of people thinking they know my love life! Why can't they see that I'm not a battered woman? Ijust have a hotheaded boyfriend. That's all. That's normal...people have different temperaments.

The last place I check is the closet. I toss all my clothes out as well as boxes of shoes. I pull back the ends of the carpet in the narrow closet, locating the block device.

"There it is..." I rest on my knees and power it on. I smile at the white screen with the black apple. When it's all booted up, I go to texts and find that he hasn't responded to my last one. I dial his number, pacing around the trashed hotel room as the line shrills. I count eight rings. A voicemail prompt is read by a computer. I hang up.

Is he out? Maybe he's at work?

I text: please pick up.

The phone buzzes. I hurry to read the screen.

Brad: No.

"What?" I mutter, then type

: why

?

Brad: You know why

Me: I wouldn't be asking if I did, would I?

Brad: You do...ur last text was a breakup.

Me: No, it was a break...I said a break!

I call again. This time he accepts it. I hear breathing belonging to a keyed-up rhino. "That's not what that meant!"

"Yeah, it is! How are you gonna tell me what I meant??"

"Because it was over once you called on your knight in shining armor! I was going to off him for you. Henry fucking Fleck deserves to die after how he broke you!! But you couldn't let me provide, but Jace Harrison can?!!" He spits. "How about you call him since you two are so close? Since I'm the problem, and he's the solution!"

"Where are you getting this from?? I asked a favor because I didn't want you in trouble!!"

"I told you I was going to make it right! You don't listen when you're supposed to. That's your issue. You don't fucking listen!!! You called on another man, Madison! You're ruining our relationship by being unappreciative!"

"Me?!! I'm unappreciative??!!!"

"Yes, you are! You're not calling the shots anymore; I am. You need to fix your attitude and toe the line!" He commands ferociously.

My soul, heart, and mind shatter. My brows tug upwards in anguish. "Why are you being like this?? You don't sound like yourself..."

"Because you tested me!" He snaps.

I knew this would happen. It's as I said before, men crave control. They hate a challenging woman and prefer those who obey and listen. This cycle will never end. It seems to be the way of life. The assigned roles. So, I need to adjust myself and fall in line if I want a husband. If I want marriage.

"I'm sorry...." I mumble sheepishly. "That's not what I meant to do. I'm sorry." I cry.

"If you want this relationship, you need to listen!"

My lip quivers, teardrops streak down my cheeks. "Okay, I won't do it again. I'll listen. I promise. Can we please put this behind us?" I beg. "Can we go back to normal?" I sniffle.

"I'm not sure yet...I'll let you know." The humming indicates that the call is over. I cover my eyes and sob uncontrollably.