Catfish - an X-Change Story

To start, a big thanks to KenjiSaito who took on the task of editing this story. Kenji, I very much appreciate you and your willingness to improve the writing of this community!

This is actually the first story I had written in first person, not the first published, it has taken a little longer to fully form. I started this story because I wanted to put a twist on the X-Change stories I've enjoyed from many other authors. I wanted to do something other than the traditional — person finds pill, swaps gender, sexy time— story. I want there to be a reason for the swap that is more than just a little fun. I am also motivated by the way stories are told over a number of posts on a certain social media platform. I've tried to tailor the story to fit this aesthetic. To go with that, each chapter/post has a song that goes with it. While you don't have to listen to the song mentioned, I have found inspiration in the tone, if not the words, in the song.

There are quite a few conversations that happen in text between some of-age teenagers. I have taken the liberty to translate these conversations into plain text for ease of reading. All text messages will be in

italics

I have based the story in a location I have never visited. Therefore, I have either made up places, changed names or used locations that are popular with both tourists and locals.

As usual, all characters engaging in sexual activity are consenting and over 18.

My apologies to those that prefer a shorter story, this is not that, the sex takes a while to get to. Hopefully you enjoy the journey on the way there!

Catfish an X-Change Story

______________________________

How it started...

It was a joke, at least it was supposed to be. Maybe you'd call it attempted petty teenage revenge. Whatever you would want to call it, I never expected the result.

Future Nostalgia

I was hanging out with a few friends from high school at the State's Burger downtown. It was a cold night at the start of February and there was only one other person in the restaurant the entire time we were there. We started by stuffing our faces until all the fries were gone, and there was nothing left but finger streaks through the ketchup. Like any normal meeting of mainly high school boys, the conversation turned into a stupid game. Fuck - Marry - Kill. Sure, Jane and Izzy joined in too, even gamely playing along when they were given lists that included themselves and other girls we knew. Jane was curating our playlist on her phone, which was just quiet enough that no one was complaining.

One name kept coming up. Orion and Jamie started adding him to every list. Oliver caught the hint soon after and made sure the name came up so it would hit the kill list every time. Even the girls joined in.

Aiden Harrison. The undisputed king of our high school. Sure, he wasn't on the football team, but that didn't matter. He was everywhere else. Co-captain of the basketball team, straight-A student, vice president of the student body, state champ in swimming, three-time homecoming king. He even was on the debate team. To top it all off he was beautiful, not just handsome, but capital-B beautiful.

It didn't matter that I was a straight guy, I could acknowledge when another guy was really good looking. I was never attracted to him, but guys know when another guy is beautiful, in a totally different weight class, the kind that got inundated by girls who just couldn't seem to get enough of him. The definition of riz.

I was pretty sure that Izzy and Jane actually wanted to put Aiden on the fuck or marry list, even if they were just playing along. Jamie threw out Mr. Gunderson (the morbidly obese German teacher), Ms. Rogers (the crone-like algebra teacher, who, rumor had it, had been working there since before the principal was born), and Aiden. Jamie looked at Izzy to indicate it was her turn.

Before Izzy could answer I stopped the game. "Guys? Why are we killing Aiden every time? I heard he is actually a pretty nice guy."

Orion snorted, "Fuck that guy, man, he's a stupid little bitch."

"Yeah," mumbled Jane.

Izzy nodded, but said nothing.

I gave Orion a hard look. "A what?"

"You heard what I said, a STUPID LITTLE BITCH," Orion blurted.

The lone woman across the restaurant turned, and gave us a very dirty look. Jamie didn't weigh in.

Oliver nodded. "Yeah, man, he is that and worse. You should have seen what he did to Orion the other day."

The table was quiet. Nobody chimed in to tell me what had happened.

Finally, I broke the silence. "So? What did he do?"

"He stole Orion's girlfriend!!"

Everyone else nodded.

"Orion doesn't have a girlfriend. How did he steal something that doesn't exist?" I gave Orion a silly grin.

I knew who they were talking about. Orion had been nursing a huge crush on Kelly Johnson for years. She was, and always had been, out of his league and totally disinterested in Orion. She was only interested in poetry and hanging out at local bookshops. Rumor had it that she had published two poetry books under a pseudonym, and they were selling really well. No one knew if it was true though, and Kelly wasn't telling.

Orion glared at me. "Man, you don't even know! I was this close." He held up his hand with the thumb and his finger almost touching. "This close to getting her to go out with me. I had the perfect plan, and he ruined it!"

"What was your plan?"

"So, you know how I'm taking a creative writing class this semester?"

"Kind of." I honestly hadn't been paying that much attention to his classes this semester.

"Well, Kelly is doing a student teacher thing for my class. The first segment is poetry. I've been working on my poem since before the class started..."

Jane giggled, "Don't you mean since last year when you found out Kelly was going to be helping with the class?"

Orion sputtered and then continued his story. "Whatever. I had the perfect poem. It was about Kelly and what an amazing writer she is. I knew she was going to love it so much; I could ask her out right after, and she would have to say yes. I had flowers in my bag and everything. And then, before I got to read mine in front of the class, he ruined it." He paused, waiting for something.

"Orion, I wasn't there. What did he do?"

"Fuck him man. He read his poem." Oliver looked outraged

"So? Wasn't that the assignment?"

"Yeah. Well, no, I mean... He read his poem, and Kelly couldn't shut up about it and how good it was. When I got up to read mine, she wasn't even listening. She was so excited about Aiden's that she said she had to call someone and ran out of the class. She wasn't there and the whole class laughed at me. To make it worse, when it was time to go, I tried to go talk to her and read it to her. But Juan R. knocked my bag out of my hands and the flowers spilled everywhere and got stepped on. I was fucking humiliated." He fumed for a moment.

"Uh, Orion? That doesn't sound like he did it on purpose."

"No. It was totally on purpose. Aiden's poem was about a guy asking a girl on a date. It was obvious he stole my idea. You know how girls flock to him."

I did know, I'd seen it, the guy seemed to attract girls like flies to a dead body, he couldn't help it.

Jamie changed the subject smoothly, "Bro. This semester sucks without you there. I can't believe they let you graduate early. I'm so jealous. No homework and no Aiden."

The others joined in, lamenting my good fortune and the months they had left before they graduated. Aiden was forgotten for the moment.

--

Let me explain for a moment. My name is Geoffrey, Geoffrey Rebecca Friis. Yeah, my name is pretty unusual, but then, so am I. What my friends were complaining about was that I was allowed to graduate five months early. I had all my classes done and the final semester would have been a joke. I had no core classes left to take, and I already had admission to Rhode Island Design School, RIDS, for their printmaking program.

It helped that I graduated with a 3.85 GPA and had an internship lined up for the spring and summer before school at RIDS. I turned eighteen at the start of December and the school had allowed me to graduate early and even lined up a local community college to give me college credit for my internship.

More about that later.

--

"Bro. Bro, you must have so much time on your hands. No homework, and isn't your internship just four days a week?" Oliver injected.

It was four days a week, but it was ten-hour days. The only reason it wasn't longer was because another print maker rented the equipment and space on Friday and the weekend. Not everyone could afford the kind of equipment the little company I was working for had. I was still not sure how Amanda, the owner, bought the big paper cutters. Maybe that was why she rented everything out on the weekend.

Orion turned the conversation back to Aiden and the 'double-cross', as Orion had come to refer to it. I just rolled my eyes and joined in on the bashing. Sometimes, you just have to support your friends until they get over the petty slight that seemed like the end of the world.

Finally, Jamie changed the subject again.

"Geoff. Man. You're missing out. They have this new app this semester. It's like a school-wide, private Whats'Upp. They group you by class, so teachers can give out assignments and you can ask questions. People are mostly just using it as a chat or social media kind-of-thing. The whole thing is restricted to students only and it's encrypted or something, so teachers can directly send you your grades and stuff."

Jamie was our friend group's tech guy, the one you handed your phone to when it got glitchy, or wanted to make sure your parents couldn't find out about the porn your friend linked you to. He was excited about the new system at the school because, of course, he was.

Oliver jumped in. "Somebody just posted Orion's poem. They tagged Kate, you know, the weird but cute one who is really into ceramics?"

Izzy snorted. "Whoever posted it probably thought it was about her because of the 'The K in Kelly's name, like fine china...' line. Orion, you know your poem was cheesy."

Orion got defensive. "I worked on that for weeks. It's in perfect iambic pentameter. Somebody should post Aiden's. It was just as cheesy. Probably get some girls private messaging him to ask if it was written for them."

Jane giggled. "He probably gets tons of private messages anyway. Have you seen the pictures of his abs from the swim team photo last year? The guy has a ten pack!"

Jamie looked up from his phone. "Is that even possible? I thought it was called a six-pack."

"No, it's definitely a ten pack."

Jane pressed next on her phone, and Dua Lipa's

Future Nostalgia

came on.

Izzy chimed in, "Definitely washboard."

Oliver's face soured. "Whatever."

Then he started smiling. "Guys, guys! I just had a great idea! You!" He pointed at me excitedly.

We all waited for him to continue.

"You are not on the school message service, right?"

I nodded the affirmative.

"But you still have a school email, right?"

"Yeah, so?" I had no idea where he was going.

"Okay so, you can sign into the service with your email, put in a fake name, and you can message A-douche!"

I was totally lost. Everyone looked expectantly at Orion. They seemed just as lost as I was.

"A-douche? You mean Aiden?" I asked.

"Yeah! You can message him. Pick a girl's name and I don't know, act sexy. You can catfish him and then drop him! Break his heart!" Orion looked around excitedly.

"You want me to pretend to be a girl, message Aiden, and get him to fall in love with me?"

"Yeah! It's the perfect revenge!" He smiled triumphantly. "You're all artsy, guys like that stuff, it'll be easy. I bet there are UTube tutorials on how to catfish. It'll be fun."

Izzy and Jane looked intrigued. Jamie was nodding. Oliver didn't look convinced. I kept quiet. Sure, I could probably sign up for any account, but catfishing? I had no idea how to do that.

Oliver broke the silence. "Uhh, am I the only one that thinks this is a horrible idea? Don't people get put in jail for catfishing?"

Orion jumped on that. "No way, bro. You're just pretending to be a non-existent high schooler. If anyone asks, just say you are from South and they messed up your account. There was a whole class of them at the start of the semester that were assigned to the wrong school. It's perfect."

Oliver looked like he was coming around. I wasn't convinced.

"Okay, that part could be okay. But I'm not a girl. I don't like guys. How am I supposed to act like a girl that he would like? I can't even get a girlfriend." I grimaced.

Jane and Izzy nodded sagely.

Orion wouldn't let it go. "No way, you got this! Guys are easy, girls are hard, nobody knows what they want." He chuckled. "Just send him a boob pic and he'll be hooked."

He looked around the table. Jamie and Oliver were nodding. Neither had ever had a girlfriend, so, of course, someone sending them a picture of their boobs would be an instant hit. They would probably follow that person to the ends of the Earth, catfish or not.

I looked over at Izzy and Jane. Izzy was giving Orion a dirty look. Jane looked thoughtful.

Jane spoke up. "Guys do love boobs... I mean you all could barely function at the water park last year when I wore that bikini. Pretty sure any of you would have bought me a car to get me to flash you."

Izzy turned her dirty look on Jane. Jane had always been more casual about her body. She wasn't wrong, though. Jane was the classic skinny girl who wore comfortable loose clothing, so you couldn't really see much of what she was working with for most of the school year. Last summer, we had all realized she had far surpassed Izzy in the breast department. The bikini she wore to the water park had left all of us, including Izzy, slack jawed.

Izzy was probably jealous, she had more of a slightly overweight body type and had developed before most of the girls in our class. Self-conscious about her extra weight and overly generous curves, she, too, generally preferred loose clothing. I knew from the time we drank a bottle of her mom's wine that she longed to be able to show off like Jane had the previous summer. Izzy and Jane's friendship had been a bit rocky after the water park, but seemed to heal right around the first cold snap when hoodies came back into everyday attire and Jane's goods were once again well hidden.

Orion looked at me intently. "So? You'll do it?"

I looked at Izzy. She was the only other person who seemed to think this was a bad idea. She just shrugged, "It's a dumb idea. It's not going to work, but it can't hurt anything."

Orion shot her a dirty look, then turned his pleading eyes to me. "Please? Just try? I know it will work, and you can't let your best bruh down!"

I thought about it for a moment. Izzy was probably right. Nothing would happen, and if it was my account, I could make sure Orion didn't say anything that could actually get me in trouble.

"Fine. I'm in. If this starts to go sideways, I'm out. I'm dropping it all on you."

"Sweet! You're not going to regret this! You're the best." Orion gave me a reassuring look.

The next few minutes were spent getting the app and signing into the account.

I logged in with my middle name, Rebecca, as Geoffrey didn't exactly scream girl. We worked out my cover story for why I was in the wrong group. Finally, there was much debate — wait until another day to respond, or to start right away. Orion was obviously in for the immediate start. Izzy suggested the delayed option. The debate was solved when Orion snagged my phone and typed, "Hey you," and hit send.

He dropped my phone in the middle of the table, and we all stared at it like it was a snake. No response, no acknowledgement, no nothing. We all stared, quietly, our food long gone. Waiting for something to happen. Nothing did.

Orion argued that we should say something else, something a bit more salacious. The rest of us told him he was an idiot, and I snatched my phone back and stuffed it in my pocket.

"Orion, I said I'd do it, you said it would be easy. Just let it marinate, it'll be fine. It'll work, or it won't." I was quite sure this was totally pointless and wouldn't work, but if it made Orion feel better, I could play along.

Orion gave me a slightly hurt look. "It had better work. He needs to know what it's like to lose your soulmate."

I rolled my eyes and snorted. I searched for a moment for something to distract him. "Zendaya, Hailee Steinfeld, Olivia Rodrigo."

"What?" He gave me a puzzled look.

"Fuck - Marry - Kill. Zendaya, Hailee—"

He cut me off. I knew he had a serious thing for Hailee Steinfeld, she looked a lot like Kelly. I wasn't sure which crush had started first, but they had become inextricably linked.

"Olivia, Hailee, Zendaya. Definitely."

The rest of the evening went back to normal. A little Aiden bashing, but no more mention of the catfishing.

--

I should probably tell you a little more about me before we get too much further.

As I said before, my name is Geoffrey Rebecca Friis. I'm the son of Karl and Astrid Friis. My parents were both born in Denmark, but met here in the States during college. My dad was here for his master's in architecture and my mother was on a semester abroad.

Something drew them back to the States after my dad finished school and started work. Maybe it was a chemistry PhD for my mom, where she could be close to the semiconductor industry, which she still works in. Why they decided to settle in California when they could have gone home to one of the happiest countries in the world, I'll never know.

I was born here in the States, and despite frequent trips back to Denmark, I have had a pretty typical, I think, American childhood. School, cartoons, friends, learning to drive at sixteen. No, we don't travel by bike all the time, nor do we buy all of our furniture from stores that stick to a Danish aesthetic. Sure, my parents generally go for clean minimalism, but my dad is an architect. Architects tend to do that anyway.

I generally look like most kids of Danish heritage — trim build, medium height, blue eyes. I ended up with my dad's sandy brown hair, instead of my mom's classic blond. I honestly don't look like anything special. Just a normal skinny kid, who dresses in what most Americans would say is too many turtlenecks. I may have inherited my preference for them, but there are a lot of artists who wear turtlenecks.

My parents say I inherited my artistic streak from my great Aunt Freya. I never had the chance to meet her before she passed away in a bicycle accident with a bus. Ironic, I know. Unlike most American kids I know who aspire towards the arts, I have always approached it very practically. I knew I wanted to make art, but I also knew I had to do it in a way that would actually make money and let me do something I loved.

My art is not the wild, free-spirited type you see teenagers trying before they find their style. I tend towards clean lines, crisp white backgrounds, the kind that let the textures tell their own story. It's how I got into printmaking. I started by making some invitations for family, simple designs that leaned heavily on the quality of the paper to announce their elegance. I guess a little of that Danish minimalism did end up rubbing off on me. I ended up begging a local shop to teach me to use their press and then let me make some of my own prints with their equipment. That experience and the relationship I developed with Amanda, the owner, led to my internship.

My relationship experience has been limited to a few awkward dates. I had tried going on a date with Izzy once. That was an utter failure. We both ended up laughing at each other over a very awkward dinner after an equally awkward movie. Sure, I've crushed on a few girls, Kelly included — don't tell Orion — but have never gotten any further than second base. That was with Kendra at art camp, right before the counselors found out about our secret game of spin-the-paintbrush.