Candice: The Bride the Groom Didn't Recognise
Copyright Oggbashan February 2005
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
WARNING: this story is intended for an adult audience. It should not be found in locations accessible to those less than 18 years of age or the age appropriate by the laws of your country.
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This is the sixth story of The Silverbridge Chronicles.
Some of the other stories are:
01 Lisa Trains Thomas
02 Lisa's Adjustable Petticoat
03 The Procession
04 The Vinyl Dress
05 The Clam, The Half-Clam and The Candle-Snuffer
06 Candice (this one)
07 The Cage Crinoline
08 Norwegian Petticoat
09 The Stag Party
10 The Hen Party
11 The Bridesmaids' Revenge
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I stood in the bedroom looking carefully into the long mirror. Although I had caught and tamed George and I was to marry him on Valentine's Day, I wasn't happy with my reflected image.
It wasn't my self-image that was flawed but the real me. As a staff nurse I knew enough about eating disorders and basic psychology to dismiss those factors. I was fit. I had to be. I played football in the Silverbridge Ladies' team, "The Silver Vixens", so I kept in training.
I also ignored the fading bruises on my legs. They were a normal hazard of being a hard-working defender.
I was slim, rather too slim, almost thin and bony. My skin, particularly on my face, looked dull and blotchy. My hair was a mess. I didn't spend enough effort repairing the damage it suffered stuffed into protective headwear in the operating theatre. I wore glasses. I didn't have to look to know that my nails were chipped and ragged. Yet George loved me!
I wanted, for the first time in my life, I really wanted to be attractive. Men seemed to like my company. I had never been at a loss for an escort but... they didn't look at me as they looked at Jane, for instance. I wanted to be a beautiful bride and not look like a frump in a beautiful dress. The dress would be beautiful because Lisa would make it to flatter my attributes, but I wanted to be beautiful as well. I laughed at myself. I wanted the Ugly Duckling to turn into a Swan - if only for one day! But my laughter was hollow. Impractical though it might me I yearned to look better than my reflection cruelly revealed me now.
I knew I needed help. I had friends. Those friends have skills. The first step was to admit the problem and ask for help. I thought who would be the best person to ask to start the ball rolling, then I picked up the phone...
"Lisa? It's Candice. I've got a problem I need help with. Can I come to see you sometime soon?"
"Of course, Candice. How about this evening? Is it a girl-only thing? Thomas will be out but Harold will be here working on the shop's accounting system. You could see me alone, or can I involve Harold as well?"
"It's sort of a girl thing, but I think Harold could help as well if he's around. Since it's a Tuesday, George will be at his evening class, so I'm free."
"OK Candice. I'm doing a casserole so you could eat with Harold and me, if that's convenient. Thomas will eat when he gets back."
"Yes, please, Lisa. What time?"
"If you get here about 7pm we could chat a bit before the meal and then get serious afterwards. That suit you?"
"Yes thank you, Lisa. See you at seven. Bye."
I rang off. I shivered. I had committed myself at least to discuss my problem. That had been a major step after the first one of admitting that I was unhappy with my appearance. I felt nervous but Lisa, Thomas and Harold were real friends. They wouldn't laugh at the idea of me wanting to be glamorous, would they? My brain told me they wouldn't but a small part of me was scared stiff. Some of my friends might laugh because I'd never tried to be anything other than my unadorned self.
I wasn't even sure how George would react. Would I have to learn to use make-up, to style my hair? I'd been too involved in my work and my football to think about presenting myself as a woman. What might I be letting myself in for?
I made myself switch that subject off and went about my daily life until it was time to go to Lisa's flat.
When I arrived at Lisa's flat, Harold was still in the shop, working on the computer. Lisa welcomed me.
"Hi Candice! Want a drink before we eat? You can have coffee, tea, or whatever."
"Thanks, Lisa. I think this time I need some tea."
"That bad, eh? OK Tea it is."
I went into the living room and sat down. I was nervous despite everything I'd told myself. Even though I would be talking to friends I didn't know how to approach the subject. Lisa came in carrying a tea tray, pot and all. Had she prepared for a long session?
"Candice, please stop looking as if I'm going to eat you. You know I'm a friend, and I don't bite friends - at least not often. You're not going to confess an undying passion for Thomas, are you?"
That made me giggle nervously "No. He's yours. All I want is George." I felt a fool as I said it. I was treating Lisa as if I were facing a job interview, not a chat with a friend.
"In that case I'm not likely to argue. But what's the problem? It's a bit early for pre-wedding nerves, isn't it?"
"It's something like that..." I started to say "...but I'm not having doubts about getting married, or George ... it's me!"
"So what about you?" asked Lisa "Have you got a dark secret and an urge to confess all?"
I couldn't stop myself giggling again "No! It's just... I want to look good on my wedding day..." my voice trailed off. There was a lump in my throat. I just couldn't say what I wanted to say.
I was almost crying. Lisa put down her tea, moved beside me and hugged. That was it. I burst into tears and sobbed on Lisa's shoulder. We stayed like that for some time. Then Harold walked in, saw me crying and he too hugged me silently. I turned from Lisa, threw myself at Harold and curled up on his lap, still crying.
Harold kissed me on the head. He wriggled a handkerchief out of his pocket and dried my face.
"Hello, Candice," he said in a normal voice "It's nice to see you again. But what's all this about?"
I sniffed. "Hello Harold. I'm sorry to blub all over you two. I just want to look beautiful when I get married."
Harold paused before asking, "What do you mean, Candice? In what sense do you want to look beautiful?"
I looked at him, then at Lisa. I suddenly realised that I hadn't given them a clue, but had just cried. They must be really puzzled.
I blurted it all out in a rush...
"What I want is to look the best I possibly can. I want to look beautiful, like Jane or like Frances when they are dressed up. Even just for my wedding day I want to look stunning. I know Lisa's dress will be great, that Frances and Sandra will do their best with the material they have to work with but they'll be covering up my appearance. My hair is rough..."
I grabbed a hank and pulled at it.
"...my face is blotchy, apart from my breasts I'm too skinny and bony, my skin doesn't feel smooth and my legs are hairy. On top of that I wear glasses. The only assets I have are normal sized breasts and good teeth. Oh - and I'm told I have a great personality. Even that sounds as if there's an unspoken 'but she doesn't look much'. I want to look as if it isn't just my personality George will be marrying me for. I want other men to be jealous of him on Valentine's Day at least."
I stopped and looked at the others wanting a reaction and hoping, hoping that they could help.
Harold asked a question. I just didn't understand. It seemed so pointless. Harold repeated it.
"Candice! What do you eat for breakfast?"
"What!" I spluttered.
"What do you eat for breakfast?" Harold asked for the third time.
"A slice of toast and a cup of black tea," I replied, puzzled.
"And what do you have for lunch?" Lisa asked. She at least had realised what Harold was getting at.
"I don't usually have lunch. I'm too busy and anyway hospital food isn't great" I answered.
"Evening meal?" asked Lisa.
"I don't know. Depends on when my shift ends. Sometimes a fry-up, often takeaway food. Occasionally George cooks me something simple."
"What about training nights?" asked Harold.
"Then it's almost always a takeaway meal. What's this about? I'm fit! I have to be! I've a demanding job and I play for the Vixens. What's the point of these questions?"
Harold answered for himself and Lisa "The point, Candice, is that your diet is rubbish. You cannot be good-looking when you are not eating properly. Not only is your diet completely unbalanced but there just isn't enough of it. You are starving yourself and what you do eat isn't any good for you."
Lisa added, "Until your diet is reasonable, your hair, face, skin, and general condition are suffering. You are underweight. Therefore you are skinny and bony. Let's see your fingernails."
Lisa grabbed my hands and looked closely at the nails.
"Look, Candice - see those white marks; the ridges? They scream 'poor diet' and show it has been poor for months. Same with your hair. It shows that your diet was poor when that part of your hair was growing."