California Dreamin'
Once upon a time... isn't that the way all love stories started? I wondered what had happened to my life ever since... ever since it happened and destroyed my life.
She was coming home with our daughter, coming home from shopping, bringing the groceries for the anniversary party that evening, and it was all gone, killed by the drunk driver that turned into her path and hit her head on... killed my wife, killed my child... killed my life. I was going to kill the driver but God and physics did it for me.
I had to leave, had to leave the Southern California that we had loved and so I moved as far away as I could, to Indianapolis. The money from the house, insurance and the lawsuit was enough that I never had to work again.
*****
All the leaves are brown
And the sky is gray
I've been for a walk
On a winter's day
I'd be safe and warm
If I was in L.A.
California dreamin'
On such a winter's day
*****
Three years later... I had transferred to the Indianapolis police.
It was cold outside... bitterly cold. The snow had built up on my car and I hoped that the door hadn't frozen shut. I was able to open the trunk and get out the scraper to remove the snow from the windshield. I used the auto-start to start the car and defrost the window, hoping it wouldn't crack from the temperature difference. As I walked around the car I could hear the crackle and crunch of the snow beneath my feet. Satisfied that I had pushed enough snow off to see safely, I moved to open the door and was happy to see that it slowly moved enough that I could get out of the cold. Moving from Southern California to Indianapolis had seemed like a good idea at the time but now I wondered what was I thinking. I closed the door trapping the rising heat inside and rubbed my hands together, feeling the cold crackle as my fingers moved.
I listened to the radio as the car warmed up, waiting for a few minutes until I was sure the engine was able to move the automobile away from the parking lot. The sky was a dark gray along the horizon and I was sure that the day would turn into a blizzard.
I just wished that the violence in the east side of the city would go away.
My mind drifted back to Anna, one of the neighbors who was a fundamentalist Christian and believed in the literal Bible. Every day she would try my patience, trying to draw me into a debate over what was in the ancient book. Much to her consternation, I was more versed in the sacred scripture than she and easily bounced back her arguments, one after another until she would storm down the street.
I drove out of the snow-covered parking lot and headed down the street, only slowing when I came near one of the school buses. It was cold. I could see the car exhaust in my mirror, blocking the view behind me. Thank God, I thought, that it was Friday and I could use the weekend to get out of the frigid weather.
A half-hour later, I pulled into my garage and sat in my car as the door slowly came down and closed me off from the outside world. I got out of the car and walked into the house, locking the door behind me. Taking off my shoes, I put on my slippers and walked upstairs to the den to watch "hulu's" shows from the night before.
I chose "The Orville" and while the show started I took off my coat and then sat down on the recliner, leaning back and nearly falling asleep. I was more tired than I thought, for some reason. Maybe it was my lonely life, living by myself.
I fell asleep.
*****
Several hours later the phone vibrated, stirring me from my slumber until I finally woke and looked at the screen. It was the older couple next door that I had somehow made friends with, inviting me to dinner.
I texted back, saying I would love to come although I was still tired. I saw that it was getting late, so I turned off the television, washed my face, and put my coat back on. After putting on my shoes, I drove to the town's liquor store and bought two bottles of fine Asti Spumanti sparkling wine and headed back to my house.
*****
"Alan, I'd like you to meet our niece, Marie. She just got here from Paris."
"Bon jour," I said, using up most of the French I knew. "Welcome to America." I looked at the cute girl in front of me.
"Thank you," she replied in perfect English with just a hint of an accent that I found so appealing.
"Have you been to America before?" I asked.
"I grew up here before my parents moved back, taking me with them. It was hard making the move for me, I much rather would have stayed in America but who listens to a young girl, you know?" There was a look on her face that showed great sadness.
Just then her parents entered the room and if looks could kill, I was sure I'd be dead.
Introductions were made; her father stood against the wall, a tall, hulking man with a no-nonsense look on his face. Her mother had a scowl on her lips and I wondered what caused such a reaction to someone they just met.
"Well... it's time for dinner," said Claudette, taking the two wine bottles from me and placing them on the table. She quickly arranged for the two younger people to sit together, away from the grumpy parents who were at the other side of the table.
It was a quiet dinner, I not knowing what was safe to say and when it was time to go, I quietly asked Marie if she'd like to see a movie with me sometime. Much to my new-found happiness, she said yes and I promised to call the next day.
*****
I decided to take her to dinner instead of a movie. I wanted to talk with her, to find out what she was thinking, what she wanted in life. I realized that I had been alone for too long.
"I used to live in California," I started to say.
"On the beach," she finished. "I know, my aunt told me why you moved to Indiana. What a change for you. It's very similar to living around Paris, as I see... I mean the weather."
"I hadn't thought about that. I guess you're right." I laughed at the thought of it. "You have better food."
Our steaks came, the sizzle on the plate watering our mouths. She had ordered the ribeye while I had the porterhouse.
"So, what are your plans? Going back to Paris? Or trying your luck in America?"
"I'll probably go back, unless there was something to keep me here. I'm an American citizen, so that's no problem."
We ate in silence for a short while, looking at each other quietly, wondering if there could be something.
"Would you like dessert?" I asked as I put my knife down and looked seriously at her.
"Yes, thank you, if it's not too much trouble."
