Lincoln was just as nervous returning home with her. He'd tried talking her out of it, saying it didn't feel right, but she would ear none of it. It brought a smile to his heart—she hadn't changed after these months of being away from her. She was just as strong a woman as when they'd first met. His hands both rested on his knee, and hers draped over his while they rocked beside each other in the backseat of the taxi cab, listening to the driver mutter as curse as the cab's wheels stepped into another pothole. His thoughts went towards Monique. He wondered if she'd still remember him—of course she's a little girl, but who knows what little ones are able to remember? He still possessed a snapshot of her in his wallet taken when she was but a baby. The look of total baby-wonder on her face had kept him warm as if he were lying beside a fire these past nights that he'd been alone. Would she still remember him for what he was to her even when he was long gone? The fear ... the gnawing fear beat against his heart, mixing with his blood flow, it was something he knew he couldn't avoid¬—the inevitable. How soon? The doctor had told him anywhere between a couple of months onto a year.
Still, who knows.
Suddenly his mind came away from his reverie as Michelle tapped his hand.
"We're there," she said.
He didn't know whether to feel glad or saddened by her words as the taxi drew to the curb and eased to a halt for both of them to climb out. Settling the fare, Michelle noticed the hesitant look on his face and reached for his hand and led him into the building and from there up the stairs to her apartment floor.
"Monique's at the St. Michael Day-care centre," Michelle said to him as she turned her key in the lock and led him into her home. "A neighbour's child of mine will be bringing her home in the next couple of minutes. You need me to get you something?"
"Some tea would do, thank you," he said to her.
She took off her scarf and dropped her handbag on the centre table and together they went into the kitchen. He sat by the table while she heated some water on the stove and in no time had two tea cups ready. A few minutes later they were seated across from each other sipping their individual tea in silence. The silence was an awkward one, and Michelle sighed with relief when he broke it.
"You haven't done much redecorating," said Lincoln, casting his eyes around. "You always talked about giving the place a fresh coat of paint."
"I was thinking about doing just that. Don't know how come I never got the chance."
"You know you never quite liked this neighbourhood. I always figured you'd have moved out by now."
"Why the hell should I? The rent's cheap, even though the landlady's still a snotty old bitch."
Lincoln nearly sputtered out his tea as he tried to fight back his laughter but was unable to. Michelle laughed with him while she got up and picked up a cloth to wipe his tea off his shirt and from the table's surface. The laughter though didn't last long before they resumed their foreboding silence. She reached her hand across to touch his.
"Linc, are you scared?"
"You ought to know the answer to that, Mich. Hell yeah, I'm scared. Why else do you think I ran away from you and Monique? I was so scared, I thought I might have passed it down to her or something ... or maybe that I'd given it to you."
"I don't think you did. I had a blood test done for Monique and myself about a month ago. I'll have another done though, just to make sure."
"Yeah, you do that." He fell silent for a moment, then he brought his other hand and covered Michelle's. "I'm so sorry, babe. I'm sorry I left you and Monique. Believe me, I didn't mean—"
"You've got nothing to apologise, Linc. I didn't understand then, but I do now."
"It's not the fear of dying that scares me really. It's having that little girl think less of me after I'm gone."
"You're not going anywhere, Linc. You're back home where you once where. I'm going to take care of you¬—Monique and I, we're going to take care of you."
He looked at her, saw the seriousness in her eyes and knew it was a done deal, no use fighting back.
"You still love me, Mich?"
She drew her chair across to be beside him. "One time, all I tried to do was hate you. For being the man you are, but most especially for running away. But I guess that's water down the bridge. Yes, a part of me still loves you, Linc. You've done wrong, but you're home. For now that's all that matters to me."
She retrieved her arms and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. A dam had just been let loose inside her heart. She felt its waters rush on down like a turbulent wave, splashing over scorched earth and parched dry land. Once she'd thought she'd never find herself in such a predicament, yet here she was right back at it. Was she being desperate, she wondered? A part of her told her this was so, but she didn't seem to mind. She really didn't seem to care anymore.
They were still locked in an embrace when there came the sound of approaching footsteps. Lincoln let go of her, gazing past her shoulder at what had just walked in. Michelle turned in her chair and smiled with relief when she saw her neighbour's friend standing close to the kitchen's doorway holding Monique in her hand. Michelle got up and went to thank her neighbour, carrying her daughter in her arm as she saw her off her apartment before returning to Lincoln who was no standing beside the table, looking somewhat nervous and unsettled as if she were about to introduce him to his maker. Monique stared at him with interest as her mother carried her towards him.
"Monique-babe, do you know who this man is?" she whispered into her daughter's ear.
Monique shook her head; Lincoln swallowed a gob of saliva.
"Well, let me reintroduce you then. This is your Daddy. I want you to get to know him more."
She held the child before Lincoln who then carried her in his arms. Father and daughter stared at each other like half-felt strangers. Then Lincoln's eyes poured out tears.
"Hey there, pretty babe. Your Daddy's come home."
"Da," Monique muttered.
The sound was so infectious, Lincoln could stop himself from laughing. He wrapped an arm around his daughter's back and laughed, though this time tears poured from his eyes. Michelle came to his side and there the three of them stood with their arms around each other, looking like a perfect portrait of a family. The moment was soon broken by the sound of someone knocking at the door. Michelle left both of them to go see who it was.
"Shanice?" she muttered her friend's name.
