Janey sighed heavily as she sat on the edge of her bed to slip out of her knee high boots. She loved the things to death, the tan wool weave moving up her leg, bunching in lines along the way to imitate a set of leg warmers. But they were so warm and getting out of them now was nearly better than sex, the air conditioning swirling between her toes. Getting home had been a bit heinous, she had forgotten how rough the walk up the hill could be. Even worse when you were on the verge of tears and half-drunk. It would be one thing if there was a reason for Ted just disappearing from her life the way he had,but to still have nothing to say, to offer no explanation, 3 years later was cruel and unusual punishment.
Everyone had begged her to stay after the incident, Steve and Jake and Charlie had chased her into the driveway and told her to stay, that they would make Ted apologize, that things would be alright. In truth, she simply couldn't stomach it. All she had done was make a simple request to talk at some point. His response had caught her offguard, and still echoed between her ears. "I don't have anything to say to you." She pulled open the lemon yellow accordian doors of her closet, standing on her tip toes before growling in frustration and hauling over her desk chair. Tiny hands wrapped around an oversized shoebox, carefully pulling it from the shelf and carrying it to her bed. She paged through it's contents, weepy-eyed. "I'm so friggin pathetic." The words were a harsh whisper. Plane, train, and show tickets lingered in the box, along with tags and pictures drawn on menus, placemats, napkins, and any other scrap Ted had gotten his hands on over the years of their friendship. Pictures of her and all the boys were disorganized and scattered between the pages. The handwriting of a sea of friends come and gone on notebook papers passed inbetween and during classes. Her first driver's license.
Sobs overtook her as she curled up in a ball on her side, arms wrapping around the teddy bear the girls had all given her sophmore year when she was in the hospital. Ted had sent her a funny comic strip of herself, recapping her tonsillitis, which she had spent a week playing off as laryngitis to avoid the doctor. She wiped at her eyes furiously, trying desperately to regain control. She wasn't going to cry anymore. She would leave at the end of the week and then only come back to see her family, this chapter was closing. It wasn't sad, it was just fucking fine with her.
Eyes fluttered shut as she reassured herself, falling asleep still fully clothed amidst the record of her life.
************
"Ya know, Ted, it's really not that much to ask to just give her reason. No one said you have to tell her the truth, Lord knows you haven't let any of us know. But she was never anything but a friend to you." Charlie sounded more like a father than a brother. Ted hated it when he got like this.
