Dimitri sighed as eyes darted from his watch to the clock and back again. They were two minutes apart, but at least by his watch Madi was only 31 minutes late. She had promised to be back for dinner at six and the hour was slowly ticking away. He rose, moving back into his room to check his computer for instant messages and e-mails. No word. Nor was she picking up her phone. Maybe she was in the shower. He shook his head, picking up his sweatshirt and darting out the door to make the quick jog back towards Madi's.
Hand rose to knock before he stepped back waiting for the door to open. When it finally did it was barely a crack, Madi's face peered from the sliver, eyes red and puffy, her sweatpants and oversized t-shirt an obvious sign that there would be no dinner, at least not in the near future.
"Dimitri, this is a bad idea, I'm sorry. I can't do this." The door slammed shut again, the sound of the lock turning echoing between his ears. Hadn't they settled this. Fist rose again, knocking insistently. Madi's voice came from behind the door "Just go away!"
"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck is going on here, Madi!" Anger bit through his voice, Madi let herself sink to huddle on the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks as arms encircled her shins, face falling to rest on her knees.
"Just go!" He could hear the tears in her voice. Why would she do this? How could she do this? He banged harder.
"Madi, let me in."
"No! Leave!" He sighed, he couldn't just stand here in the hall like this. After Karl, well, no one was going to sit back and watch someone pound on Madi's door like that. He sighed, letting his chin sink to his chest before leaning close to the door.
"Fine, I'll go..." He turned to walk away, doubling back to lean once more. "But don't think it means I don't love you, because I do." He sighed and shook his head.
She listened to the clunking of his footsteps against the old hollow stairs, face fitting perfectly between her knees as she sobbed into her sweatpants. She was doing the right thing. She was being strong. She shouldn't be crying. She tried her hardest to breathe deep, to push it all down into that little holding cell that existed somewhere in her belly. Instead, the sobs only came harder. She stumbled to her feet, hands steadying her against the wall as she made her way to the bathroom, there was only way to find calm.
Silver glittered inbetween her fingers as she sunk down to the bathroom floor. A blade was better than some dinkie daisy razor. Madi sucked in air between her teeth as she felt the stinging kiss of cold metal parting skin, the warm pulsating of blood staining ivory skin. Tears quickly subsided as she slashed anything that wasn't already too tender, she breathed out her relief, leaning against the wall to look up at the cieling as hands fell at her sides palm up, the blade slipping from her fingers to lay on the floor, sweatpants around her knees. She would be fine, just like every other time. Some people just weren't meant to be happy. This was her role, the pathetic one. The crazy one. The one everyone else looked at to remind themselves how fortunate they were to be in love, to be sane, to be happy, to be beautiful. She laughed, letting her head fall backward.
"Madi?" Darren's voice made her gasp, she jumped to her feet, quickly slamming the bathroom door shut. Hands flew to the roll of toilet paper, pressing wads against her wounds in an attempt to somehow stop the bleeding. The absorbant paper quickly turned crimson. Dammit dammit dammit! He couldn't know.... eyes darted around the bathroom... The first aid kit! Fingers fumbled with a roll of gause before wrapping it tightly around her thigh. It would do. She pulled up her pants, throwing some of the toilet paper in the bowl before pressing down on the flusher.
"Madi? Is that you?" His voice was closer, she took a deep breath, exiting the bathroom.
"Yeah, sorry, I wasn't sure if it was actually you or I was just hearing things." She forced a grin on her face as she tried to hide her own nervousness.
