Breaing the Ice

I woke up around five in the morning severely dehydrated with a pink sticky note stuck to my forehead. I peeled it off gently and read it:

Two of the girls got arrested in Miami (fucking idiots), I have to head back and deal with these bitches. I'll call you later.

P.S. Shane deserves a medal for sleeping with you, because you snore. Loudly.

"Oh, damnit."

"What's wrong?"

I startled, searching around before I remembered Shane was still on the other line. "Um, nothing. Sydney had to go back to school."

"I see. You gonna head back too?"

I wasn't sure how to respond. "I don't know. Are you still mad at me?"

"...you think I'm

mad

at you?"

"You haven't talked to me in almost two weeks, Shane. I mean, you just up and left me and I have no idea why. What am I supposed to think?"

"Jesus Tess, I -" There was a loud muffled voice in the background, like someone was talking through a loudspeaker. "Shit. I gotta go, I'll talk to you later." And that was that.

I pulled the sheets over my head, planning to spend the rest of the day asleep before I shot out of bed and ripped them off. "Enough!" I shouted to no one.

Enough. You're in an expensive hotel in a beautiful city, you are NOT going to spend all day feeling sorry for yourself. Get your butt in gear and get the hell out of this room.

With a firm nod I grabbed my bathing suit and my book and got ready to go to the beach.

***

After lounging at the beach with

Awkward Black Girl

and an upbeat playlist I decided to take full advantage of the hotel's spa services. In six hours I had been wrapped, massaged, exfoliated, steam, plucked and waxed into submission. My curly black hair which had hung halfway down my shoulder blades had been cut right above my shoulders, the dark strands gradually lightening to a reddish-brown in an ombre dye job. It looked great, it just didn't look like me, which I guess is why I chose it. The stylist also wanted to give me heavy, dark makeup to go with the new hairdo but I heartily convinced her to leave my little brown face alone.

I unlocked the door to the suite, trying to decide between having dinner at a restaurant alone or ordering room service and watching bad TV. Shutting the heavy marble door behind me I stepped into the open living space and stopped in my tracks. Shane was sitting on the arm of the cream-colored couch with his arms crossed, staring down at his shoes and seemingly deep in thought. When he heard me shuffle in he looked up; a mixture of surprise and longing in his eyes as he took me in. "...wow. You look beautiful, Tess."

I stood in my spot, not knowing whether to yell or cry or run to him. Instead I walked to the eight-person glass dining table and grabbed the room service menu off it, tossing it to him. He caught it easily while raising an eyebrow at me in silent question. "Order food. I'm going to go take a shower," I stated flatly before turning and walking out of the room.

After stalling in the shower until my fingers and toes shriveled I finally got out, figuring I'd have to face him sooner or later even if I had no idea what to say to him. I slathered on some lotion and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a Yale tank top, not really concerning myself with appearances. I made my way back to the dining room where Shane was pouring out two glasses of red wine next to our covered dinner plates. I took my place two chairs down from him and we began eating in silence. About halfway through our meal he put his fork down next to his skirt steak and finally began talking to me.

"There was a four alarm fire at this colonial in Wallingford and their department brought some of our guys up to help contain it - the house was completely engulfed in flames but it wasn't anything we hadn't seen before. When we put it out is what we were told what happened. This mother," Shane scoffed harshly, "this

woman

who was pretty notorious in town for being batshit crazy had locked her four kids in their rooms, soaked the entire downstairs in kerosene and..." he shut his eyes to collect himself. I reached over and placed my hand in his and he grabbed it immediately, holding on to me tightly.

"I watched their remains get rolled away in body bags. I get that she wasn't in her right mind but I just can't...I've seen some shit on the job but that...if I can't save innocent lil' kids then what the fuck is the point of doin' it at all? So, I quit." I raised my eyebrows at his admission and he took a deep breath. "I can't do it anymore. I can't see shit like that and just go in the next shift like nothing happened."

"Okay." I squeezed his hand. "I mean, I get it. I'm so,

so

sorry you had to see that, and you have to do what's best for yourself. Besides, we've got a safety net - we've barely touched my trust fund. I'll accept Dad's offer when I get back and you can take as much time as you need to figure out your next path. Of course, you'd make an awesome stay at home dad too," I said, trying to lighten his mood. He ran his free hand down his face before dropping it into his lap with a melancholic look. "Unless you don't...you don't want to have a baby anymore?"

"...no. I...don't know."

"Is that why you picked that fight with me in the kitchen that morning? Were you just using my job offer as a way to back out?" He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. I snatched my hand away from him and felt a wave of nausea hit my stomach. "I can't believe you did that."

"I didn't know how to tell you after convincin' you to get pregnant that I wasn't ready anymore and it was easier to use that as an excuse."

"You just

tell

me, I would have understood! I mean...my God, I've been agonizing over this, trying to figure out if maybe you were right, maybe I had to choose between my career and my family, and I was going to give up my spot in the graduate program when I got back to stay home and raise the family that

you

wanted!"

His eyes went wide at my confession at the same time I put my hand over my forehead, trying to quell the dizziness from the anger I was experiencing. "You made me feel like I was too damaged to handle having both. You fucked me like a rag doll and manipulated me into thinking I...is it because the mother was mentally ill? Do you honestly think I would do something like that?"

Again he opened his mouth and shut it just as quickly, silently giving me his answer. "I can't

believe

you, Shane. You don't want kids? That's fine, because you may not have a wife much longer either." I pulled my engagement and wedding band off my finger so hard I ripped the skin off my knuckle and threw them at his plate before storming off into the bedroom. Collapsing on the large canopy bed I let the sobs take over my body until I was all cried out.

***

I felt steady, warm hands slide onto my body and I half-heartedly attempted to pill away from him as I tried to wake up. "Shh, stop," Shane whispered. "Don't fight me sweetheart. Please, I can't take it."

I whimpered quietly as he turned me on my back and came over top of me. He slowly pushed my tank top up over my breasts, exposing them to the ocean cooled air. I cried out in an agonizing rush of pleasure when he bent his head and captured my nipple in his mouth, sucking on it with great care as he rolled the other through his fingers. When he had his fill he switched to the other and I arched my back to get closer to him. Despite my feelings toward him in the present my body was always going to respond how he wanted it to. "

Shane

," I pleaded.

"Mmm," he moaned into my breast, giving the goosebump-ridden flesh a kiss before sitting up. "Don't worry, I'm gonna take real good care of my girl. All you have to do is lie back and come, okay?" He wrapped his fingers around the waistband of my sweats and I lifted my hips so he could pull them down my legs and toss them on the floor. He pried my legs apart, massaging my inner thighs while his hands moving closer to my center. My breath quickened as he took his finger and barely touched my intimate inner lips.

"I must have been out of my fuckin' mind to be so mean to this precious pussy. I'm gonna make it up to you, I promise." He pushed two fingers inside, ever so gently, coating them thoroughly with my arousal as he moved them in and out. After a few strokes he'd remove them and rub them around my clit before sinking inside me once more.

I bunched the sheets in my fists, my muscles trembling around his long digits. "That's it, Contessa. Let me feel you come," Shane commanded tenderly. I climaxed in a soothing wave of desire, realizing in that moment how starved my body was of him. I laid there unmoving while he pulled his fingers from my body and settled his weight on top of me. He studied my face in the deep blue room, watching a tear roll out of my eye and into my hair. "You okay, sweetheart?"

I sniffled quietly. "I'm still mad at you...maybe a little less."

He smiled slightly and kissed the path the tear left on my temple. "Then let me see if I can make you cross over to at least tolerating me before the sun rises."

***

When I awoke the sun was bright and I was alone, though I could hear Shane's voice down the hallway. I pulled on my pink and tan stripped bikini top and wrapped a sarong around my hips, just covering enough to walk out into the open space.

My heart skipped a beat when I found him, standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the beach. He was speaking low into his cell phone, affording me the uninterrupted view of his wide, muscular back that was home to a spattering of freckles; and on occasion, a few scratches left by me. He wore nothing but a pair of black and silver swim trunks and drops of water falling from his dark, wet hair.

He mumbled something into the phone before he noticed my reflection in the glass. "Thanks Dr. Owen. I'll see you next week." He turned around, tossing his phone carefully onto the nearby chair. "Did I wake you, darlin'? I tried to be quiet and let you sleep."

I pointed to his phone. "You were talking to Dr. Owen?"

"Yeah, I kinda hijacked your therapist. I had a couple of phone sessions with him over the past week and he was just callin' to check in. You okay?"

I played with the knot in my sarong while checking his face for any sign of distress. "Shane, are

you

okay? With everything that happened?"

Blowing out a sigh he rubbed the back of his neck. "You mean with the fire and me quittin' and everything? Not really. Or...I don't know. I'm gettin' there I think. I've been pretty good at compartmentalizing that kind of stuff over the years, I don't know why it hit me so hard this time. It's freakin' me out and I needed to talk to someone about it."

"You can talk to me too, you know," I offered quietly. "You don't have to always keep it together around me. I'm not expecting you to be some kind of flawless human being. If you're hurting, let me hurt with you."

He closed the gap between us, reaching down to circle my navel with his thumb. "The only thing that's hurtin' me is that I hurt you. I'm sorry, Tess. For the things I said, leavin' the way I did...I'm so sorry for all of it. I guess I'm always pushin' for you to open up and talk, I didn't realize that sometimes it's overwhelming as hell to do so. Especially about the stuff that really fuckin' sucks. I handled it badly and I'd like to make it up to you if you'll let me."

I lifted my hand and ran it through his damp tresses, looking into the pain behind his green eyes. "Let me take care of you sometimes. This is a partnership and I want to do everything in my power to make my husband happy. I may not always have the right reaction but I am

always

in your corner. Trust me enough to be strong for you like you are for me."

"So you're not gonna divorce me?" He asked and ran his thumb over my bare ring finger. "I've seen you mad, darlin', but that...I really thought you were done. Scared the hell out of me."

Poking him in the chest, a small smile touched my lips. "Is that why you went down on me for an hour last night?"

"Well yeah, I figured reminding you of my oral skills might convince you to stay with me. Speakin' of which..." His own lips found his favorite place on the side of my neck and began sucking on the warm spot, his strong arms pulling me into his body.

I didn't even try to stifle a moan. "Ohh...what happened to letting me take care of you?"

"When we get home," he whispered against my skin, "I'll get my head on straight, I'll let you take over. But while we're here let me fix what I can. And

this

," he growled when he felt my naked behind underneath this cotton fabric, "This I can fix."

He scooped me up in his arms and carried us into the bedroom previously occupied by Sydney, placing me down on the pale blue duvet. "Shane, this isn't my room."

He pushed the sarong up around my waist, the lower half of my body on display for him as I spread my thighs wide. "Well, this is how I see it darlin'. We've got a few days left here, and if I'm gonna fuck you on every surface of this suite Princess' bed is a good a place as any to start.

"You're going to stay here with me?"

He nodded solemnly, reaching out to grab my hand. "I'll never leave you alone again as long as I live. That's a promise."

Giving his fingers a squeeze, a sudden random thought had me giggling. He cocked an eyebrow at me which made me laugh harder. "You're...you're gonna have to start using condoms again!" I barely got it out before I lost it, holding my stomach that was starting to hurt.

Shane's irritated expression did nothing to curve my fit. "I don't see what's so funny about that, Tess."

"Be...because, we only used them once when we were dating," I said breathlessly, "And now you have to use them until I get back on the pill. It's like a punishment for your penis, especially since we don't have any right now."

Shane grunted and started searching around like the prophylactics were going to instantly appear. He picked up the phone on the nightstand, pressing the concierge button with his middle finger and cradling the receiver between his shoulder and ear as someone picked up. "Buenos días. ¿Espero que me puedas ayudar, mi esposa y yo hemos olvidado traer condones, puede enviar algunos para arriba por favor? Gracias." He hung up and knelt on the floor in front of me. "They'll be here in a couple minutes."

I lifted my head and looked at him in awe. "I don't know what's more surprising, you speaking flawless Spanish or this hotel having condoms for their guests."

Shane tsked, running his hands up the smooth skin of my legs. "Woman I'm from Texas, of course I know Spanish. Expensive hotels down here always have condoms, this isn't my first Spring Break - and for fifteen thousand dollars they better be gold-plated and covered in diamonds." He rose slightly and gave me a stern look. "That's right Contessa, I saw the bank statement. Remind me to take you over my knee later for wastin' so much money."

"I don't know, Tex," I lied back down and rested my hands on my bare stomach. "We get time alone together and you're in between my thighs right now. I wouldn't call that a waste."

"Good point, sweetheart." He snaked his tongue out and barely grazed my hooded clit, causing me to sigh at his delicate touch. He parted my lips next and caressed the inner tissues with three of his fingers. He was unhurried in his movements, taking the time to rim every inch of my private area. "Don't come until I'm inside you, Contessa," he warned.

"Then...then you might want to stop..." The chime of the doorbell rang down the hall and we both groaned in frustration. Shane gave my inner thigh a quick kiss before rising and walking out to get the door - which couldn't have been an easy task considering the erection he was sporting underneath his shorts. I unknotted my sarong and waited as patiently as possible, hearing low talking then the sound of the front door closing. Five seconds later Shane reappeared completely nude, ripping into the box and closing the door with his foot. He held up a long chain of gold-foiled covered condoms while he looked at me and shook his head. "This isn't even going to last us through the rest of the day.

I smiled broadly as he tore one off and threw the rest on the bed, but then his face fell as he twirled it in between his fingers. "This seems...unnatural. I shouldn't have to use these with my wife."

I sat up and began undoing the bikini tie behind my back. "I know, but it's only until I go and see my OB. I support your decision to wait on the kid thing, so if that's the case this is what we have to do right now," I took the flimsy top over my head and threw it behind me, lying back and caressing my exposed skin. "It won't be so bad my love, I promise," I purred.

His eyes darted back and forth between the unopened condom and me running my hands all over my body, waiting for him. "...fuck it," he declared as he chucked the package over his shoulder. I was about to sit up and protest when his body covered mine, silencing me with a kiss as he slid his cock home. He pulled out completely before surging forward again, my nails digging into his arms when I came around him with a shuddering groan.

"I need to be connected to every inch of you, sweetheart," he whispered in my ear, expertly working his way into my wet channel. "I can't have anything else between us."

"But -" He cut me off with his mouth, tongue diving around mine in rhythm to his strokes. His hands were

everywhere

: squeezing my neck and running down my ribcage and coming between me and the bed to grab my cheeks. His thrusts became frantic. Hungry. It was a different feeling of need than the last time we'd been together. This was a need to draw me closer to him instead of pushing me away.

I angled my hips up with every stroke, the hot gasps of breath on my skin making every nerve ending in my body explode for him. "Tess, I can't stop...love you...so fucking much...you're...so perfect...

I can't stop

..."

I gripped his tight ass and pulled him closer to me every time he bottomed out, crying out his name in an inevitable burst of orgasmic bliss. He followed me soon thereafter, keeping his head buried in the crook of my neck. He stayed on top of me unmoving until I felt something warm and wet slide down my shoulder, then another. "Oh, Shane." I wrapped my arms around his body tightly as he let it all out in quiet sobs.

***

I kept sneaking glances at my husband over my sketchbook, trying to seem nonchalant from the opposite end of the couch we were lounging on. With his dark-rimmed glasses and his red hair framing his studious face, I couldn't help but admire his good looks as he rhythmically tapped the keys on his laptop. He was staring at the screen in deep thought...all of a sudden he looked up and threw me a crooked smile. "You're hovering, Mrs. Thomas."

Busted.

"Sorry." I tried to go back to my drawing, giving up after a few minutes and placing it on the floor. "Are you okay?"

His face didn't waver as he continued reading his screen. "Look, sweetheart. I'm not one of those guys who thinks cryin' somehow threatens my masculinity but can we please not make a big deal about earlier?"

I frowned, but decided not to push him. "Will you are least tell me what you're doing?"

"Tryin' to decide whether to go back into home renovation or getting my teaching certification," he explained, closing his computer and setting it next to my notepad on the floor. "Obviously I'd make more money flippin' houses, but I don't know. I think I'd make a damn good science teacher too."

I grinned at him, happy to see a glimpse of his old, cocky self. "I'll say. Plus you've got this whole "hot professor" look going on when you wear your glasses."